Ark ArkanSith Comedy House...

Looking for a daily dose of laughter...

Look no further. Just pull up a chair, order something to drink and sit back and enjoy the humor.

Remember this is a family friendly site, so keep it clean....

 

Because this is Arkansas...

Thought I'd start off with this one:

I have no ill feelings towards the former president...I just saw these and thought they were funny.

The Top 14 Things Bill Clinton
Would Say if He Were in Star Wars


14. "Well, it depends on your definition of 'father', Luke."

13. "Who knew the Jedi Mind Trick could work on 250 million people all at once?"

12. "I *absolutely* support the use of droids in the military... Okay, now I don't."

11. "Oh-h-h, you're looking for a little *WOOKIE*... Well, that's different."

10. "Luke, I am your father. Obi-Wan, I'm your father, too. And that Queen chick? I'm her daddy for sure. And Leia's. And Lando's, and Boba Fett's, and Jabba the Hutt's, and Chewie's, and..."

9. "Wretched hive of scum and villainy? Woo-hoo, count me in!"

8. "I think the American people would like a little more bass in my theme music."

7. "Dispose of that troublesome young Jedi, Vince Skyfoster -- and make it look like a suicide."

6. "I did not have sexual relations with that wookie, Ms. Chewinsky."

5. "It's a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away -- and I'm still a lyin' weasel."

4. "Cholesterol does not concern me, Admiral. I want that Big Mac -- not excuses."

3. "Sorry about that lightsaber, Sugar. Just consider it laser dental work."

2. "These are not the droids you're looking for, Ma'am. Say, it's getting hot in here -- you might want to take off your top."

and the Number 1 Thing Bill Clinton Would Say if He Were in Star Wars...
1. "She's my sister?!? Well, back on my home planet of Arkansas, that ain't an obstacle!"

 

lol

 

This is something really fun to do to people:

1. Get everyone's attention and tell them you have a really funny joke - it's soooo hilarious you can barely say it. Then, tell the joke:

"Ask me if I'm an orange" (Prompt them to ask you... Are you an orange) Look at them like they are insane and then answer very calmly,

"no."

Then, laugh hysterically.


2. Get someone to do a knock knock joke with you. Tell them it is the funniest thing EVER! Get them all excited and then tell them you are gunna start. Say:

"Okay okay! This is the best knock knock joke ever! Okay! YOU START!"

Then look at them intensly like they are going to say something really cool. THey will be confused and you may have to prompt them.. "Go on, you start"

Finally, they will reluctantly say, "Um.. Knock Knock?"

Get ALL excited and shout "Who's there?!?!?!" with a lot of enthusiasm and wait with great anticipation for them to tell YOU the answer!

Great fun, great fun!

 

Another fun thing is too pretend you have mild tourrets (sp?) while in Wal-Mart. It helps if you know someone or had a room mate in college with it....
Example.
Start a casual stroll thru the store then Scream "Chicken-Pickle-Twinkie-Wiener"----"Caw CAW"! "I Like Fish, No Pie, No Fish...Fish Fart, Khaaaack"

Then keep walking like nothing happened.
Note: Mrs. Drago has nearly beaten me for doing this in malls throughout the state and 1 in Texas.

 

wow dude and i thought staring at the ceiling was bad I might have to try this one

 

Why do chicken coops only have two doors?


Because if they had four doors, they'd be a chicken sedan!

muahahahahahahahahahaha...ha.

 

This one is for "Kynstar"

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Dook.

Dook Who? (Dooku)

Lame,but it is her favorite character....

So, here's another one with My favorite character.

Luke and Obi-Wan go into a Chinese restaurant and Luke is trying to use chopsticks. He's having a
really hard time and has dropped most of his food on the floor. People are starring at them. Obi-Wan, ever the polite and well mannered Jedi that he is, leans over and says: "Luke, use the FORK."


hee hee hee ha ha ha!

 

Going with what Asti was saying about the "pants" game...take a quote and add the phrase "in your/my pants to the back of it..."

So with that in mind....get a load of these lines...

"Would you look at the size of that thing?"

"Stay on Target."

"Judge me not by my size."

"I like nice men."

Enjoy and feel free to add to...

 

What? Nobody has any jokes? Nothing funny happen to anyone lately?

Come on People... I need to laugh!!!

oops laughed too much...

 

More slanted lines from Star Wars:

"Curse my metal body...I wan't fast enough."

"It didn't go in. It just deflected off the surface." (or something like that.)

So, there have a little laugh for your weekend.

 

Bringing this one back from the dead...

Except I don't know anything funny right at the moment... but, hopefully somebody else will...

Maybe???

Perhaps???

Help!!! My homework is killing me and I need to laugh.

 

Come on.... I really need to laugh...

I'll throw this one out there...

Did you hear they came up with a cheap alternative to Viagara?

It's a mixture of miracle grow and fix-a-flat...

I know it's wrong... but, funny??