Artoo Deetoo: the Little Droid Who Saved the Galaxy (A Lot!)

I've always liked Artoo-Deetoo, and the other day I got to thinking about the innumerable times he's saved our Rebel friends from certain doom, more often than not with his ever-handy Fire Retardant Foam Spray Trick. (Max Smart voice on: "Aha! The old Fire Retardant Foam Spray Trick! ) So I decided to write a biography of Artoo-Deetoo. Everything in it is completely
accurate and unbiased--just ask Artoo. See if you can identify some of the more obscure sources here (without TimeTales! )

Honor. Courage. Integrity. These are traits found in most members of the
Rebel Alliance, but none can hope to match the extraordinary career
of--Artoo Deetoo. Although many a being has mistaken him for a waste
receptacle, Artoo is actually a born mechanic and pilot, an able tactician,
and a master of Dejarik holo-chess.

R2-D2 began life in an Industrial Automations factory on the planet Nubia,
but he was soon shipped to Naboo, where the plucky little astromech 'droid
served the Royal Security Forces with pride. Young Artoo possessed an
astounding work ethic, matched only by his love for practical jokes. He
soon earned a reputation as a hard worker--and a prankster. Artoo also had
a passion for travel, and travel he did, whether as part of the RSF's Bravo
Squadron or the astromech team aboard the Royal Starship. He showed courage
under fire when he repaired the Royal Starship's shield generator while the
ship was being attacked by Trade Federation forces. His friends in the
astromech team all perished, but Artoo stood by his post and saved all
aboard. Later, he met a protocol-droid-in-progress named See Threepio, who
would become his life-long friend, and, with the help of Anakin Skywlker,
Artoo
destroyed the Droid Control ship orbiting Naboo.

Following the Battle of Naboo, Artoo proved adept in the political arena,
becoming assigned to the personal staff of Senator Padme Amidala. Just
before the Clone Wars he was reunited with C-3PO, and the pair were
witnesses at the marriage of Padme and Anakin Skywalker. Several years
later the two droids came into the possession of the Intergalactic Droid
Agency. On one assignment, Artoo was damaged when he saved the inhabitants
of the planet Dodz from a gladiator 'droid. He saved the life of Chirpa the
Ewok on Endor, prevented war from breaking out between the planets Alzar and
Sooma, served in a racing crew on Boonta, destroyed the Trigon-I on
Annoo-Dat, escaped from Aaron, and assisted Prince Julpa in his coronation
on Tammuz-an. He was then drafted into the service of the Royal House of
Tammuz-an, where Artoo drew on his experiences in the RSF. He saved the
planet when he defeated the pirate Kybo Ren by blowing up his Star
Destroyer, and later terminated the Great Heep on Biitu.

But Artoo's heroics were not limited to military victories. The 'droid had
a flair for archeology as well, which he demonstrated by recovering the
priceless Roon Stones. After this triumph he returned to everyday heroism:
smashing the Sith assassin 'droid C-3PX, saving young Nak Pittareeze, ending
the criminal activities of Olag Greck, and preventing both a galactic
savorium crisis, and a war in the Tion Homogeny.

Eventually, Artoo made his way into service of the Royal House of Alderaan,
where he proved worthy of carrying the Death Star plans. But life wasn't
all fun and adventures for the little 'droid. Prejudice against 'droids
reared its ugly head at the Mos Eisley Cantina, where the bartender refused
to serve him. Artoo recovered from the incident, and flew with Luke
Skywalker at the Battle of Yavin until he was blasted by onetime owner Darth
Vader. After he was repaired, Artoo was sent to escort Governor Zissu to
Delantine. Over the next three years he made himself an invaluable member
of the Rebel Alliance. He mapped the Super Star Destroyer Executor at
Fondor, reprogrammed an army of Imperial assassin droids on Tatooine, was
present during the Rebel mission to Ord Mantell, and led an attempt to
recover an Imperial p

 

That almost sounded like Beneath the Dome.

 

Sort of. Shouldn't this go in fanfiction?

 

Well, that was kind of the idea. Beneath the Dome--in universe. And technically it's not fan-fiction, since I didn't make any of the events up.

TC

 

Maybe he should converse with Whistler for more practical joke ideas...

 

Oh, I'm sure he does. One thing I like about ol' Artoo is that he's very much a social droid. He's always chatting with computers and his fellow droids, whereas See Threepio tends to turn up his olfactory sensors at most of the types Artoo hangs out with, and has been known to start fights on droid barges for this very reason.

TC