Saga Artoo's Frazzled Circuits: The OT Diary [2012 Dear Diary Challenge] - COMPLETED on 21/Dec

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Hazel, Jan 2, 2012.

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  1. Hazel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2010
    star 4
    Thanks guys! :D
    This diary is a riot to write.


    Also, I know I said that the postings would be up on Mondays, but now I find it is better for my schedule to post on Sundays, so lets change that, shall we? If, on occasion, I can't post on Sunday then expect a Monday post.

    Now lets go meet Luke. ;)





    Entry Three


    ENTRY » START NEW

    GALACTIC DATE » 35:3:4 GrS
    GALACTIC POSITION » Tatooine
    SITUATION » Still within droid trafficking vehicle


    »» Just had systems restarted by C-3PO. He has informed me that the vehicle has stopped.

    »» How many times do I have to tell you, Threepio, we are NOT doomed. And they most certainly are not going to melt us down.

    »» Just been directed to move outside by funny little beings in hoods. This is fortunate, since I can now determine my position and plot a new course to General Kenobi's home base. What! Do you think I had given up? I NEVER give up.

    »» NAVIGATIONAL SYSTEM » GET LOCATION » LOCATION DETERMINED

    »» Uh-ho! Been here before.

    »» Just detected audio call of the name 'Luke' - Oh, my starts! I have discovered Anakin-Junior's secret hiding place.

    »» Human male positively identified as Owen Lars is questioning C-3PO - Seriously, Threepio spent years in this house and Owen Lars doesn't recognize him? Humans have such bad memory banks.

    »» Anakin-Junior is coming this way. I'm so nervous, I've even stopped hearing Threepio. Oh, he's all grown up. » EMIT EMOTIVE AWWW SIGH.

    »» Wait, why is he asking for the bleeping RED astromech? What about me? Don't leave me here! THREEPIO!!!!

    »» Ah-ha! The red R2 literally blew a fuse. Did I do that? Who says droids can't use the Force? Take that, Anakin! Hey, Threepio!" - DO SIDE-ROCKING MOTION OVER TWO LEGS.

    »» YAY! I'm going, I'm going! Thanks, Threeps."

    »» Extend Princess's interaction directives to Anakin-Junior- must not disclose past events on Lars Farm to him or real identity of parents. NOTE TO SELF » must stop calling Master Luke Anakin-Junior; ALSO » must not forget priority mission.


    «» «» «» «» «» «» «» «» «» «»


    »» C-3PO is been given lubrication bath ? Lucky droid, I want one too! ? while Anakin-Jun... I mean, Master Luke is whining on and on about not leaving Tatooine ? He seems far more childish than his


    »» How can Threepio not know where he is? He spent years on this farm. Oh, yes, his memory was erased. Duh! Oh, Anakin-Jun... I mean, Master Luke is coming towards me.

    »» I can't believe Threepio is only introducing himself now. It's usually the very first thing he does. And for once he remembered to introduce me too. » EMIT HAPPY GREETING.

    »» Hey, your hands are cold! Don't pull that, boy. Too late, oops!

    »» What is what? ? RECALL TOP SECRET STATUS OF MISSION AND MESSAGE ? That's nothing! Just some old data.

    »» How nice! Anakin-Jun... I mean, Master Luke thinks his sister is beautiful. NOTE TO SELF » Must not reveal the Princess is Master Luke's sister ? Information Top Secret, Level 10 ? Notice C-3PO is telling Anakin-Jun... I mean, Master Luke about the Princess - Shut up, Threepio!

    »» Must concentrate on priority mission ? CREATE MISDIRECTIONAL DATA: I am property of Obi-Wan Kenobi and this is private message for him.

    »» C-3PO is now contradicting my output - NOTE TO SELF » Erase C-3PO's memory so he does not contradict me in the future. And I am NOT eccentric! Bleeping protocol droid!

    »» Anakin-Jun... I mean, Master Luke has information on whereabouts of General Kenobi. It appears the General has changed his designation to Ben Kenobi and occupation to strange old hermit.

    »» No no no no no! Can't play back the bleeping message. » ANALYZING OPTIONS » Restraining bolt has short-circuited recording system, might be able to play entire message if you remove restraining bolt.

    »» SUCCESS ? Too small to run out huh, yeah right!

    »» MESSAGE » ARCHIVING AND ENCRYPTING ? Message, what message? Ouch, Threepio don't hit me."

    »»
    />
  2. Book-Geek Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2011
    star 3
    »» Anakin-Junior is coming this way. I'm so nervous, I've even stopped hearing Threepio. Oh, he's all grown up. » EMIT EMOTIVE AWWW SIGH.

    Emit emotive AWWW sigh from Book-Geek![face_love]

    »» Ah-ha! The red R2 literally blew a fuse. Did I do that? Who says droids can't use the Force? Take that, Anakin!

    Artoo-Detoo, Jedi Knight. Aww yeah![face_dancing]
  3. earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    wonderful and very funny with Arto calling Luke Anakin Junior

    Excellent missing moments
  4. Jedi_Lover Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2004
    star 5
    I love Artoo saying General Kenobi changed his name to Ben and his occupation to Strange Old Hermit.:p [face_laugh]

    Nice update.
  5. Lady_Misty Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 21, 2007
    star 4
  6. Briannakin Grand Moff Darth Fanfic Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Feb 25, 2010
    star 5
    Lol! R2 is a droid on a mission!

    And thanks for updating today - it reminded me that I have to do it today too.
  7. JediMara77 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2004
    star 4
    [face_laugh] Anakin-Junior

    You might want to reconsider telling Luke about his sister, though :p
  8. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 7
    Now 3PO is a bleeping droid [face_laugh] ;) & Luke is Anakin Jr. Oh, but if Artoo had revealed the sibling connection [face_laugh] - the most embarrassing moment EVER! never would have happened :p to the endless amusement of us fans - who know, or knew eventually.

    [face_laugh]
  9. Tarsier Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2005
    star 3
    Good update! My favorite parts:

  10. Mondra Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 12, 2010
    star 1
    Adorable as always. :D
    Too small to run away, eh? Do not underestimate the power of an astromech! Can't wait for more chapters!
  11. ginchy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 25, 2005
    star 4
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    How have I missed this?? I love it. Artoo is the true hero of the entire Saga!!
  12. TrakNar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Apr 4, 2011
    star 5
    XD Anakin-Junior...

    Oh man, this diary is hilarious. And sadly, Artoo, organic beings indeed have bad memory banks. Some days, I'm lucky to remember what I've eaten for breakfast!
  13. Hazel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2010
    star 4
    Thank you all for taking the time to review. [:D]






    Entry Four


    ENTRY » START NEW

    GALACTIC DATE » 35:3:5 GrS
    GALACTIC POSITION » Tatooine
    SITUATION » Navigating through the desert again towards General Kenobi's Home base


    »» Spent night and most of morning navigating through Tatooine desert, heading to General Kenobi's home base. I'm so glad I got to charge up fully before leaving. But that lubrication bath would have been even better. NOTE TO SELF » Ask Master Luke for lubrication bath upon returning to Lars base.

    »» Oops! Busted. ? Been caught by Master Luke and ill-humored C-3PO ? Oh, I was so close! - Must find way to complete mission.

    »» Uh-ho! Scanners show several creatures approaching.

    »» Seeking appropriate shelter for myself, Master Luke and C-3PO ? Ahhhhh! They found us!

    »» Master Luke? Master Luke, please wake up. Please don't be terminated. Hey, who is that strange being that's checking on Master Luke?

    »» Strange being positively identified as General Kenobi. Almost positive he recognized me - YAY! ? but has not acknowledged me by denomination. He has made assurances that Master Luke will be alright - Gee, General Kenobi looks old and has increased greatly his waist perimeter.

    »» Master Luke is awake! Master Luke is awake! » DO LITTLE HAPPY DANCE » But Threepio has lost an arm.

    »» Have finally arrived on General Kenobi's home base. Master Luke as finished reattaching C-3PO's arm and now General Kenobi is telling him about Anakin and the Jedi knights, and has presented him with Anakin's old lightsaber ? I swear, I never thought I'd see that thing again. Still have the little compartment to hide it in, though. ? Making note that he treats the Anakin/Vader subject as if they are two separate beings » CONFIRM DIRECTIVE: Do not reveal Anakin Skywalker as Lord Vader to his children; Official version ? Darth Vader betrayed and killed Anakin Skywalker.

    »» Just been asked to deliver message by intended recipient » MESSAGE » DISPLAY FULL MESSAGE » PRIORITY MISSION: COMPLETE ? Okay, can we do back to the farm now and have that lubrication bath?

    »» General Kenobi has just asked Master Luke to go with him to Alderaan and learn the ways of the Force ? Wait, whaaaattt? I thought Anakin-Junior was supposed to stay here where it was safe. ? STAND-BY FOR NEW PARAMETER INPUT ? Seriously, this is getting confusing.

    »» Master Luke has regretfully declined General Kenobi's offer. Unfortunately, I just realized that I can't go back to the farm and get the lubrication bath, I need to go with General Kenobi and deliver the plans to the Alliance. » EMIT WEARY SIGH

    »» Looks like Master Luke will only accompany us as far as Anchorhead. I hope Threepio comes with us.

    »» On route to Anchorhead we found the remains of the droid trafficking vehicle and all the beings that ran it, slaughtered. General Kenobi concluded that it was the work of imperial stormtroopers who had been looking for the plans I carry. Master Luke immediately deduced that their next stop would be his home and has gone off on his own, despite General Kenobi's warnings » » EMIT SAD SIGH ? I hope he'll be alright.


    «» «» «» «» «» «» «» «» «» «»


    »» Master Luke has returned and he is very unhappy » EMIT SAD SIGH » the stormtroopers had already destroyed the farm and terminated the Larses. I wish I had a voice synthesizer so that I could tell him how sorry I am for causing this.

    »» Master Luke has changed his mind and he is now coming with us. He says he wants to become a Jedi like his father. I hope he becomes a BETTER Jedi than his father.

    »» NEXT DESTINY » Mos Eisley.


    ENTRY » CLOSE » ENCRYPT ENTRY



    ~«»~


    PM List: on, off just ask :D

    NOTE: Be sure to keep opening the PMs or I won't be able to keep sending them; I'll only send a new message once you open the last :)

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  14. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2004
    star 7
    Hazel =D= You catch Artoo's sympathetic tone perfectly ;)

  15. JediMara77 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2004
    star 4
    »» Looks like Master Luke will only accompany us as far as Anchorhead. I hope Threepio comes with us.

    See? You do love Threepio after all.

    I hope he becomes a BETTER Jedi than his father.

    Ha! Don't we all.
  16. Jedi_Lover Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2004
    star 5
    That is so cute. I like how R2D2 noticed that " General Kenobi looks old and has increased greatly his waist perimeter. Not to mention he is no longer the hot stud he was in the PT. He should have used sun block. And I also hope Luke becomes a better Jedi than his father. Nicely done!
  17. Book-Geek Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2011
    star 3
    Gee, General Kenobi looks old and has increased greatly his waist perimeter.

    ROFL![face_laugh]

    I hope he becomes a BETTER Jedi than his father.

    I know, right?

    Hazel, you're capturing Artoo's personality and tone perfectly!=D=
  18. Lady_Misty Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 21, 2007
    star 4
    I have a feeling that R2 isn't going to get his bath until near the end of A New Hope.
  19. earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Great to see this from Artoo's point of view. He is adding so much details and funny coments. And the oilbath[face_laugh]
  20. ginchy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 25, 2005
    star 4
    Awww, Artoo. Luke will be a better Jedi than his daddy. You just might have to wait a while. But what does a droid have, if not time? LOL!

    Fun update!!!
  21. Briannakin Grand Moff Darth Fanfic Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Feb 25, 2010
    star 5
    This diary is so much fun!

    has increased greatly his waist perimeter

    LOL!
  22. TrakNar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Apr 4, 2011
    star 5
    I can't stop laughing at "increased greatly his waist perimeter." [face_laugh]

    I love this! I've recommended it to Goodwood, hopefully he'll join in on the fun!
  23. Mondra Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 12, 2010
    star 1
    I want an astromech! Has Master Kenobi's wait perimeter increased so much? I didn't notice ;). But then again, I've always been a fan of sir Guiness, so I'm not impartial.
  24. Falcon Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 7, 2002
    star 9
    You're doing a great job with this. Loved that you decided to fall through with this story :D

    More soon
  25. Hazel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2010
    star 4
    Thanks guys, for all your support! [:D]

    I've finished writing the ANH part of this diary and I'm moving on to the ESB where Artoo will get reaquanted with Yoda. :p


    But for now, he's arriving at Mos Eisley.







    Entry Five



    ENTRY » START NEW

    GALACTIC DATE » 35:3:6 GrS
    GALACTIC POSITION » Mos Eisley Spaceport
    SITUATION » Looking for a transport to Alderaan


    »» Have just arrived in Mos Eisley Spaceport and already General Kenobi wants to sell us to stormtroopers? » DOES NOT COMPUTE » Ooh wait... Jedi mind trick. It has been a while since I've seen it used.

    »» Master Luke and General Kenobi have gone searching for a pilot in a suspicious looking local cantina that does not allow droids to enter. C-3PO and I have to remain outside. C-3PO spent the entire time cowering behind me.

    »» Droid-sat C-3PO while Master Luke went off to sell his speeder. Had to hear him rant that this was all my fault. Trust me Threepio, I'd rather be in a lubrication bath than be the galaxy's most wanted droid.

    »» Have arrived at the designated boarding gate. I swear I've seen this ship before and I know I've seen that co-pilot before. Wasn't that one of Ahsoka's friends?

    »» Uh-ho! The captain has made some special modifications himself. That can be very good or very bad.

    »» STAND-BY FOR TAKE-OFF

    »» AHHHHH!!!! How come every time I'm in a spaceship, someone is shooting at it? SHUT UP, THREEPIO!

    »» We have successfully entered lightspeed. This captain is better than he looks.

    »» NEXT DESTINY » Alderaan.


    ENTRY » CLOSE » ENCRYPT ENTRY



    ~«»~

    PM List: on, off just ask :D

    NOTE: Be sure to keep opening the PMs or I won't be able to keep sending them; I'll only send a new message once you open the last :)

    Book-Geek;
    Briannakin;
    Diary_Challenge_Sock;
    dm1;
    earlybird-obi-wan;
    Jade_eyes;
    Jedi_Lover;
    Lady_Misty;
    Mondra;
    TrakNar;

    />
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