Saga As The Furniture Flies - An Interactive Star Wars Soap Opera - We've been nommed! Opinions needed!

HOLONET NEWS BROADCASTING
CORUSCANT
MEDIA RELEASE

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Second Month, First Day, Standard Year 5764

It is with great pleasure that Holonet News Broadcasting (HNB), the galaxy?s premier information service, announces its newest project: a broadcast channel dedicated to all of the latest news in Coruscant?s top society.

Recent events in Coruscant society have proven the need for such a service; the heated war of words between Ms JadeSolo, Ms Shaindl and Ms Diane Thx is one such example. In order to provide the best coverage possible, HNB will deliver information on these and other society events as they occur.

This will not be possible without you, our faithful readers and viewers. We encourage you to let us know should you see or hear anything that might be of interest to the general public. For those in positions of power, we urge you to share any memos or other material in the interests of the public good. Everyone deserves to know what is happening in the galaxy capital. Confidentiality is assured.

For those viewers and readers not already familiar with the situation, a backlog of letters and memos has been prepared and will be posted shortly to help you catch up. HNB looks forward to continuing to provide you with all the best information as it happens.

-30-

For more information:
Triv Gadolia
Holonet News Broadcasting
Coruscant

 

turns to channel and waits patiently

 

Title: As the Furniture Flies - A Star Wars Soap Opera
Author(s): JadeSolo, Shaindl, dianethx and assorted others
Timeframe: Saga
Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Garen Muln, and others
Genre: Humour
Keywords: Humour, satire

Summary: There isn't one yet - we're flying blind here, folks! But basically, the premise is that Shaindl, a high-society woman on Coruscant who has some interesting secrets, is being exposed by reporters Diane Thx and JadeSolo, who have some nefarious secrets of their own that they'd rather keep hidden...ooh, the suspense!

Notes: This is a continuation of the "war of words" conducted by JadeSolo, Shaindl and dianethx on the Obi-Wan Challenge Thread.

Legal Stuff: All recognisable characters are, sadly, not ours (if they'd belonged to Diane or JadeSolo, I'd have beaten them up already and stolen them). All invented characters (including those of our personas) are ours - please ask first if you like them so much you want to use them.

Extra little legal bit to cover ourselves: if you decide you want to take part (by writing a "letter" to the news service, or a memo or some such thing), you do so knowing that you could be dragged into something we write or included in a scenario we construct. All this is done in fun, of course - Jade, Diane and myself are all actually friends and we're only doing this to have a good time, no matter how much it looks like we're after each other's blood. That said, please do participate - it'll be more fun that way!

 

Please note that since this is a soap opera, there will be multiple storylines going on. In order to keep you from getting too confused, Jade Solo will be posting a RECAP on Sundays - explaining what has taken place the previous week. Sort of like the Soap Opera Daily... Even if you don't need to read it, you should. The recaps include "additional information" about the storyline.

---

Now to bring you up to date with what took place on the other thread ....

[hr][color=indigo][b]Posted by JadeSolo[/b]

[b]HOLONET NEWS BROADCASTING
CORUSCANT, JEDI TEMPLE[/b]
[i]NEWS FLASH[/i]

It has just been revealed that [b]Shaindl[/b], consort of Jedi Knight Garen Muln, and [b]obi_ew[/b], consort of Honorary Jedi Master Xanatos deCrion, are [b]old[/b].

We now return to your regularly scheduled programming, "Jiggler Knights Gone Wild."[/color]

[hr][color=midnightblue][b]Posted by Shaindl[/b]

HOLONET NEWS BROADCASTING
CORUSCANT

RE: Recent News Flash

Dear Sirs,

After a previous grievance with your correspondent JadeSolo, I was assured that such problems would not happen again. It appears I was mistaken. The recent newsflash once again contains some incorrect information.

The correct nomenclature for 'old' - a hopelessly outdated term, I must tell you - is 'youthfully challenged'. Please advise your correspondent of this and request of her that she take greater care with her details in future.

Yours sincerely,

Shaindl [/color]

[hr][color=indigo][b]Posted by JadeSolo[/b]

[b]HOLONET NEWS BROADCASTING
CORUSCANT [/b]

Dear Ms. Shaindl,

I understand your grievances with my previous news update. However, it had been confirmed directly by a well-respected member of the Jedi Order. Had you been able to tear yourself from Knight Muln's quarters once in a while, you would have known who this informant was (though I cannot blame you for not wanting to leave a warm bed). I have granted this person confidentiality but only under the condition that I be told why this particular Jedi had decided to speak with me. One word suffices: l'amour. He had hoped, by revealing in an insulting manner that you are youthfully challenged, that your current consort would abandon you, and that you would find solace in this other Jedi's arms. I tried to explain to him that you had already found yourself a knight with rogue tendencies, but he would not listen. I found myself captivated by him, and not just because the sun was hitting him at such an angle that his reddish hair positively glowed, or because his blue-grey eyes were filled with such intensity that it was as if I were staring into the depths of a beautiful tropical sea. No, his tale was compelling because of the love he professed for one woman above all others, and because...

Oh, dear. I'm sorry, I've made a terrible mistake and gotten my stories confused. This knight was pining for a lady named [b]Sheila[/b], hoping to woo her away from her husband.

But he did indeed refer to you as "old."

With verity,

JadeSolo [/color]

[hr][color=midnightblue][b]Posted by Shaindl[/b]

HOLONET NEWS BROADCASTING
CORUSCANT

Dear Ms. Jade,

After taking some time to ponder my response, I have realised that there is nothing I can do to counter your scurrilous and scandalous attacks on my person and character, or those of other highly-placed members of Coruscant society.

That said, far be it from me to contradict a member of the vaunted Jedi Order. However, I must take issue with the tone of your response. I would like the record to show that I am quite capable of "tearing myself away" from a paramour's boudoir, if solely for the purpose of a shower and a change of attire (since wearing the same thing twice - never mind twice in a row - is outré).

It would appear that you have your own interest in gaining a paramour; your description of your informant was, shall we say, glowing. Perhaps you should turn your attention to your own love life and not those of the people you malign on a regular basis. Perha

 

---

[color=midnightblue][b]Posted by Shaindl[/b]

HOLONET NEWS BROADCASTING
CORUSCANT

Dear Mr. deCrion,

Only one response seems appropriate to me at this juncture: who ever mentioned Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi? Certainly not me.

Perhaps you need to discuss Knight Kenobi with your [i]ladylove[/i]. I suspect from your heated response that the conversation might be most illuminating.

With every good wish,

Shaindl [/color]

[hr][color=indigo][b]Posted by dianethx[/b]

[b]GALAXY WIDE WEB
NEWS DIVISION
CORUSCANT

GALA BALL MISHAP [/b]

The Supreme Chancellor?s Gala Ball was the place to be last night. A spectacle of fist-fighting and loud accusations had most of the attendants vying for a front seat as Holonet News Broadcasting correspondent Ms. JadeSolo and Ms. Shaindl (occupation unknown) erupted into violence over paramours and ?age? issues.

They had apparently traded heated words over love interests before breaking into physical violence complete with punching, kicking and use of furniture. This frenzied all-out altercation had several Jedi Knights scrambling to pull the two women apart. Surprisingly, Ms. JadeSolo and Ms. Shaindl were able to break away from the Jedi at one point, attacking each other with an almost frantic animosity. In the end, Ms. JadeSolo was held back by Honorary Jedi Master Xanatos deCrion and his son and heir, Desimir deCrion. Ms. Shaindl grappled with Jedi Knight Garen Muln and Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi before being subdued. Both women were escorted from the scene.

While no bystanders were hurt, Ms. JadeSolo sported several gashes in her emerald velvet gown and a large purple bruise on one cheek. Ms. Shaindl fared little better as her sea-green sequined ensemble was torn almost to shreds. She was seen limping from the altercation.

Apparently, both females have had a protracted and ongoing feud over paramours within the Jedi Temple. Insiders indicate that the women have now been banned from the Temple indefinitely. However, no arrests were made.

Fallout from this has reached the highest levels of the Jedi Order. Inside sources indicate that the Master Kenobi and Knight Muln were immediately sent on separate missions of long duration. And new rules about attachment within the Jedi Order will be forthcoming.

Ms. JadeSolo and Ms. Shaindl were unavailable for comment. [/color]

[hr][color=midnightblue][b]Posted by Shaindl[/b]

GALAXY WIDE WEB
NEWS DIVISION
CORUSCANT

RE: Gala Ball Mishap

Dear Sirs:

I truly find it amazing how people see only what they wish to see. Your correspondent Ms Thx has wildly distorted the events at the Supreme Chancellor's Gala Ball and I find myself once again being misrepresented in our city-planet's media.

My sole intention in going over to speak to Ms JadeSolo was simply to ensure that there were no hard feelings after our recent misunderstanding over her column. Never was there any intention of "physical violence complete with punching, kicking and use of furniture".

Since I am incapable of being anything but a lady, our discussion was simply heated, not the volatile sofa-throwing melée Ms Thx described. If Ms JadeSolo's dress happened to be ripped during our [i]discussion[/i] then I heartily apologise, and offer to pay for any damages, as any proper woman would. As for my own ensemble, the tears were strategically placed, as anyone with knowledge of current haute couture would attest. Lastly, my limp came after a ballroom dancing mishap with my instructor Juan Antonio Valdez Banderas, not from Ms JadeSolo, for whom I have only the highest respect.

Furthermore, I resent the implication that I have been banned from the Temple due to improper behaviour on my part. My decision to [i]voluntarily [/i]remove myself from the precincts of the Jedi Order are simply due to my not wishing to even bring a hint of impropriety - of which there is none, of course - upon the respected and most valued Order.

I look forward to the apology I am sure is forthcoming and hope that there are no further u

 

---

[color=indigo][b]Posted by JadeSolo[/b]

[b]VERITAS HOLOZINE
CORUSCANT [/b]

Dear Ms. Shaindl, Ms. Thx, and Mr. deCrion,

I am publishing this letter from my new position at Veritas Holozine, a weekly journal that offered me a position as staff writer after I resigned in disgust from Holonet News, disgust for the network's failure to print the truth, disgust for the way the editors and producers bow to the demands of corrupt individuals. Thankfully, Veritas has no qualms about saying what needs to be said, and so I have embraced my new home. I have tried to be polite and courteous towards everyone, but this is too much. I'm just going to say what's on my mind, and if you have a problem, feel free to tell me. But do it to my face, Ms. Shaindl, instead of through a translation droid specifically programmed to turn the most atrocious grammatical and linguistic mistakes into some caricature of comprehensible Basic.

So let's start with your comments:

[i]Incontheevable that I would have to defend myself from not one, but two, trash tabloid reporters.[/i]

"Tabloid?" I am a muckraker. I have sworn to expose the filthy, nefarious deeds of people driven by greed, lust, and general immorality, and if it involves getting my hands dirty, then so be it. You say you're "willing to defend the honour and respect" of the people with whom you associate, but that's rather hard to do when many of them are individuals guilty of some crime, don't you think?

That's not to say that every member of the Coruscanti upper class is corrupt. But when one is, I don't name names unless I have confirmation from a reliable source (and I do mean reliable). As for you, Ms. Shaindl, a "society woman," as you call yourself, you may have gold in your jewelry, but I have yet to see it in your heart. I myself am not the best of women?I've had plenty of less-than-stellar moments. But I strive to make up for that by shining away the tarnish around us, or at the very least making others aware of it.

And when you say you use the term "correspondent" loosely when describing myself and Ms. Thx, I can't help but think how I feel the same way when I refer to you as a "lady."

Moving on to the subject of Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi:

[i][Y]our description of your informant was, shall we say, glowing. [/i]

Clearly, you've never taken a good look at Knight Kenobi, or else you would've noticed the same features I mentioned in my letter. I know for a fact that I am not the first person to take note of his eyes and hair. Furthermore, I love Kenobi as I love all my friends, but I harbor no romantic affections toward him. What you read was my eye for detail.

[i][W]ho ever mentioned Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi? Certainly not me. [/i]

I'm not surprised, since the only reason you have for leaving Knight Muln's bed is to shower and change. Doesn't leave a lot of time for socializing in the Temple like a good woman of society, now, does it?

[i]Perhaps you need to discuss Knight Kenobi with your ladylove. I suspect from your heated response that the conversation might be most illuminating. [/i]

Ms. Shaindl, you picked the wrong consort to insult! Desimir deCrion is the love of my life. I would gladly give my life and more for him, because he loves and believes in me. He says what he means and never goes back on his word. If there is something to be gleaned from his "heated response," it is that he is a passionate man who defends his ladylove's honor?which is more than I can say for Knight Muln, who was suspiciously silent while he was on Coruscant. Say what you like about me, but don't you dare speak to Des that way. Try it again, and I guarantee you'll be dealing with more than a few rips in your dress.

Speaking of dresses, according to Ms. Thx:

[i]Ms. JadeSolo sported several gashes in her emerald velvet gown and a large purple bruise on one cheek. [/i]

You might be trying to cover up what happened, but I wore my wounds with pride. Ms. Thx was correct?the dress was indeed an expensive gift, and I do thank you for cove

 

---

[color=midnightblue][b]Posted by Shaindl[/b]

Dear Ms Raven13,

It is gratifying and soul replenishing to see that there are still people in this galaxy who know the meaning of the words "honour", "respect" and "gentility". I thank you once again for your support and generous words. They are warmly reciprocated. Moreover, I sincerely thank you for defending the honour of my good friend Ms Ew. I know she is certain to appreciate it as well.

As for the two ladies (and once again, I do use the term loosely), I feel little need to defend myself against their baseless attacks. However, because there are some people who are not as cultured and knowledgeable as yourself, I will post a response to them shortly, as promised.

With every good wish once more,

Shaindl [/color]


[hr][b]Posted by MysteriousRaven13[/b]

Dear Ms. Shaindl,

I am profoundly touched by your sentiments. It should not be you thanking me, it should be me and everyone else thanking the force (or the creator) for women like yourself and Ms. Ew. As I had mentioned in my previous letter, you both are the epitome of what a lady should strive to be. I do not know if you or Ms. Ew are aware of it, but there are so many of us in the Temple that deeply respect and admire you two young ladies. Your writings, your words of wisdom, have had such a profound impact on our lives. Your work gives us a sense of appreciation that there are still people out there that still believe in the word Jedi and what it stands for. When we have come back from a trying mission, your work has allowed us to drop the ?proverbial cloak of responsibility? and rejoice in that one moment of peace and normalcy. You are a true light in the sea of darkness, Ms. Shaindl, and thank you for being that beacon of hope.

May the force be with you,

Mysterious Raven13
Jedi Padawan to Master Jaya Solo

[hr][b]Posted by Desimir[/b]

Dear Ms Raven,

In regards to my motives, they are quite simple I assure you. I love and admire Jade Solo and know what a kind and funny spirit she is. I have learned from the best on how to protect those I love and although I am a gentleman, I can assure you that I am not tied down by the Jedi's [b]Code[/b] as [i]you[/i] must surely be. I hope you take this in the spirit that it was intended and just keep in mind that it is not wise to threaten the loved ones of a former Darksider.

Signed, Desimir deCrion
CEO of OffWorld

[hr][b]Posted by Indra[/b]

Dear Mr. deCrion,

I have obtained this address from Ms Shaindl and I regret to inform you that I find it highly disconcerting how you refer to the Jedi Code. I feel it is my obligation to oppose the postition you take strongly as the Jedi Code has always helped to guarantee peace and tolerance throughout the Republic. The disrespect you show with your statement is highly uncalled for and I would ask you to apologise to Ms Raven for ridiculing her beliefs in such a way.

Sincerely,

Indra

[hr][b]Posted by Desimir[/b]

[i]I would ask you to apologise to Ms Raven for ridiculing her beliefs in such a way. [/i]

My Dear Indra!

Let me assure you that it was not my intention to ridicule Ms. Ravens' beliefs! Far from it! I have nothing but respect for the Jedi and their beliefs and can even call several of them friend.

I have great affection for Obi-Wan Kenobi and consider Anakin Skywalker to be my best friend even though he is oft times a major pain in the arse. On top of that my little brother is a Jedi and I believe a good friend of Ms Ravens.

I merely meant to point out to the lovely lady that I am not bound by the Jedi Code and therefore am free to use what ever means are at my disposal to defend and protect my lady love from the vicious attacks she is suffering from the double edged sword that is Ms Shaindl's tongue.

If I have offended Ms Raven, or any other member of the Order in anyway by my words I apologize profusely.

Your humble servant,

Desimir deCrion

[hr][color=indigo][b]Posted by dianethx[/b]


[b]Start Private Encoded Tr

 

---

[b]Posted by MysteriousRaven13[/b]

[i]Dear Ms Raven,

In regards to my motives, they are quite simple I assure you. I love and admire Jade Solo and know what a kind and funny spirit she is. I have learned from the best on how to protect those I love and although I am a gentleman, I can assure you that I am not tied down by the Jedi's Code as you must surely be. I hope you take this in the spirit that it was intended and just keep in mind that it is not wise to threaten the loved ones of a former Darksider.

Signed, Desimir deCrion
CEO of OffWorld[/i]


Dear Mr. DeCrion,

Rest assure, I am not in any way shape or form threatening your love ones. But be warn, my dear sir, that should these slanderous remarks continue, I will be forced to rectify this situation. In other words, I will do everything within my formidable power to put an end to this assault.

Although not a Jedi, Ms. Shaindl and her associate and friend, Ms. Ew, are highly respected (civilian) members of the Jedi community. We will do what we must to insure their safety ? physically, mentally, and emotionally. I can assure you that I am not exactly ?tied down? by the code. I am one of the few Corellian Jedi who spends a majority of their time on Coruscant.

I, all too well, know what a darksider ? even a former darksider ? is capable of doing. I, myself, once walked down that path, but thanks to people like Ms. Shaindl (and her work) and my friends, I was able to find myself back on the correct path to redemption. Though I do not walk in darkness (and without a shadow of doubt in my mind), I would go back to that path to protect my family, friends, and loved ones. Although I do not know Ms. Shaindl personally, I do consider her family because of a mutual acquaintance ? a man I consider to be the closest thing to a brother, Knight Garen Muln.

Respectfully,
Mysterious Raven13
Jedi Padawan

[hr][b]Posted by PadawanKitara[/b]

Memo to: Jedi Council member Mace Windu
From: Padawan Kitara Vaille

This is to follow up on your request that I monitor the situation involving "Lady" Shaindl and various journalists.

The situation does seem to be coming to a head. The most serious problem of concern to the council right now appear to be allegations of illegal use of the force by the "Lady" in question at the Chancellor's Gala. Interviews of various knights and witnesses present during the incident do seem to suggest that there was some evidence of use of the force to hurl heavy furniture across the room. However, no one could identify the source. Knight Muln was present, but as a jedi, I do not believe he would break with the code to use the force so blatantly in favor of one of the combatants. deCrion was also present. I believe that bears further investigation.

A secondary concern is an allegation of impropriety within the temple itself. I have been asked to investigate the suggestion that a certain female of ill repute has been spending too much time in the company of young male knights. There also may be some attempt to cover up the situation by some of my fellow padawans. I will continue to discreetly inquire along those lines and report back when I have more information.

CONFIDENTIAL- FOR COUNCIL USE ONLY

 

And there you have it -up-to-date and ready for additional input by anyone who would like to participate!
Shaindl and JadeSolo, if you don't like the colors, I can change them...no problem.

And I forgot to ask Nat and GuerreStellari if it was okay to include their part in this madness. Is it okay you two? Otherwise, I'll edit it out....


READY.... SET......GO

 

Holonet News Channel
Official message

Dear all,

I officially call dibs on Colin Firth.

You have it in writing.


Sincerely and with highest regards,
Guerre Stellari

 

GALAXY WIDE WEB
NEWS DIVISION
CORUSCANT

My dear Ms. Stellari,

I read your recent announcement on the Holonet News Channel with some confusion. I am unhappy to inform you that Colin Firth is a fictional character. Perhaps you are confusing him with the well-known Mr. Darcy, one of the finest gentlemen on Coruscant. His face was used, illegally I believe, by HoloVid slicers when they filmed the latest version of Image and Influence.

Mr. Darcy is currently off-planet but will be returning tomorrow. Perhaps you might contact him then.

With all good wishes,

Diane Thx

 

Dear Ms. Thx,

Very well. I hereby call dibs on Mr. Darcy, as well as his fictional counterpart Mr. Firth, as well as all likenesses and appearances made by the aforementioned hunk.

And that includes his advertisement for power converters in the Senatorial District.

Sincerely full of respect,

Guerre Stellari

 

Start Private Encoded Transmission

To: Master Qui-Gon Jinn <living_forceJM@TemplePM2.net>
From: ace reporter Diane Thx <Still_Got_It@galacticcore.net>

Qui-Gon love,

Just heard that you've returned from your latest mission. Unscathed this time, thank the Force! I've missed you so much, my own. Each day was an agony of terror and regret without your arms about me, your kisses painting my mouth with desire. It pains me deeply that I can't fly to your side but our secret must remain so for now. I can only hope that someday soon, we will be together once more without hiding or trickery.

But enough, my own one. While you were gone, there was a huge fight at the Supreme Chancellor's Ball. Our old "friend" Ms. Shaindl was there, being the center of attention as usual - trying to stir the pot. She had both Knight Muln and your old Padawan, Obi-Wan, at each other's throats before Jade Solo stepped in and turned it into a melee. The fight between those two women was a sight for holovids everywhere. I have a copy which I'll bring when I see you next. One odd thing is that Shaindl seems to throw very heavy furniture with relative ease. Could she be Force-sensitive or even trained? I can't believe that Obi-Wan or Garen would help her in that way, especially in front of all those Senators and Palpatine.

A word of warning, love. Palpatine gives me the creeps. I know he seems nice on the surface but his face on the holovid was terrifying. I never want that kind of hate to be directed your way. Be careful when you meet with him next.

But enough for now. I am going to let you rest, my Qui-Gon, so that when we see each other once more, I will be able to tire you out all over again!! Perhaps tomorrow. Send me word per usual route.

Love you always and forever,
your Diane

End Private Encoded Transmission

 

[OOC: I wanna play! ]

Start Private Encoded Transmission

To: incompetent muckraker Diane Thx <Still_Got_It@galacticcore.net>
From: diabolically clever Jedi Allh Nemesis <jedi_allh_nemesis@TemplePM3.net>

Dear Mrs Thx

Allow me to introduce myself: Jedi Knight Allh Nemesis, at your service. In this case, the service happens to be all the incriminating information on *ahem* Lady Shaindl you could possibly want. For free.

There's a catch, obviously. The catch in question is that Shaindl and her posse of tame reporters get all the information on your and Ms Solo's little scam. Also for free.

Of course, doubtless I could be persuaded to withhold information on reception of enough money . . . from either party.

And before you even think of pulling a fast one and exposing me, let me tell you that if you do so I shall merely produce irrefutable proof that my fellow Jedi, Knights Muln and Kenobi and Master deCrion are up to their necks in this with me.

In expectation of a prompt reply

Allh Nemesis
Jedi Knight

PS. And did you know your friend Master Jinn can get unusually talkative after a little too much starshine? Hmmm?

End Privately Encoded Transmission

[Let the fun begin! ]

 

Start Private Encoded Transmission

To: Nemesis <jedi_allh_nemesis@galacticcore.net>
From: ace reporter Diane Thx <Still_Got_It@galacticcore.net>

How did you get my private holomail address, Jedi? This is supposed to be a secured channel. For all I know, you are just a punk slicer with too much time on their hands.

I have nothing to hide. But since you are so insistent that I have a secret that I do not want revealed, I would need further proof of that secret before I can even contemplate thinking about your ludicrous demands.

As for Master Jinn, he is an old friend, nothing more. And he can hold his starshine as you put it. You know nothing.

Ms. Thx

End Private Encoded Transmission

 

Start Privately Encoded Transmission

To: incompetent muckraker Diane Thx <Still_Got_It@galacticcore.net>
From: diabolically clever Jedi Allh Nemesis <jedi_allh_nemesis@TemplePM3.net>

Dear Mrs Thx

Let's ignore your and Ms Solo's *ahem* activities for the moment and concentrate on your other secret.

How did I get your private address? You might be better off asking Qui-Gon love that one.

Force! I've missed you so much, my own. Each day was an agony of terror and regret without your arms about me, your kisses painting my mouth with desire. It pains me deeply that I can't fly to your side but our secret must remain so for now.

Ah . . . youthfully challenged love.

Now, who would you prefer saw that? Shaindl, maybe? Or your boss? Or maybe even Master Yoda? You wouldn't be wanting to get Master Jinn into trouble now, would you?

Kindest regards,

AN

End Privately Encoded Transmission

 

Start Private Encoded Transmission

To: Nemesis <jedi_allh_nemesis@galacticcore.net>
From: ace reporter Diane Thx Still_Got_It@galacticcore.net

What do you want, Jedi?

You have to know that reporters are paid very little. I may be one of the top reporters at Galaxy Wide Web but a transport pilot makes more than I do. So what do you want????

Let me rephrase the question. Obviously, you are not a Jedi. Possessions are forbidden for a Jedi. It is part of their Code and, by asking for wealth, you are breaking that Code. A Darksider would want money - perhaps the Council would be interested in that, Jedi Nemesis. I'm sure the Council would forgive Master Jinn a little side-dish if he could bring in one of those who are of the Dark.

Be careful of grabbing what you think you want. It may cost you more than you know.

And that's Ms. Thx to you.

End Private Encoded Transmission

 

Boy, Nem, you jump in with both feet. I was laughing so hard my kids had to come in and see what was going on!!!

Can't wait to see what my co-conspirators think!!!

 

Start Private Coded Transmission

To: winged-archer@audioslave.net
From: intrepid-stylus@muckrakers.org


Eilia! What's up! Hey, did you catch the melee at the ball the other night? Haha! Was that comedy gold or what? Shaindl - what a skank! But I'll tell ya, she's damn good at what she does. I don't think anyone else could drive a wedge between Kenobi and Muln like that. In other news, have you seen Master Jinn since he got back. I have, and it was NOT pretty. Let's just say that he and Thx thought that no one was watching. Ewwwww, GROSS!! Old people making out, ugh, I think I need to gouge out my eyes. Though you have to admit, Jinn's not that bad-looking. Hell, compared to Palps, he's a hottie.

So what's the deal with the new attachment rules? Have you heard anything yet? They're really cracking down on relationships, from what I've gathered. I guess that really sucks for Shaindl, since she was intending to seduce all the males in the Temple. I don't even want to think about how she was planning to get Master Yoda - that's an even worse image than the oldies sucking face. Good thing I don't have to worry about those retarded rules, though I am a little concerned about Desimir's behavior last night at the Winter Galactic Writers Awards last night. You know how he and I check out other people - it's a joke between us, and as long as it's just looking, we're fine with it. But seriously, kid, I was about to grab the bottle of Corellian wine from his hand and smash it over his head. And then go after Thx with the broken bits. What a hag! She thinks age and experience gives her some sort of advantage - hello, arthritis doesn't exactly contribute anything to bedroom activities. And then she's got the gall to tell me how to do my job! And then insinuate that I was fired! I tell ya, kid, she'll be hearing from me soon.

I gotta go now - got some other letters to write, and then tonight Des is giving a looooooooong explanation regarding last night. I love him, I trust him, I know he's a good man, and I don't immediately jump to conclusions without hard facts, but when I smelled Eau de Hutt Fart on his cloak last night, I knew he'd had a run-in with Thx. And I wanna know EXACTLY what happened!

Hey, I almost forgot - your friend Aalto probably already knows this, but there's a new exhibit opening at the Coruscant Museum of Antiquities, and there's going to be a meet-and-greet thing. One of my friends is covering the event and can bring a guest - would Aalto be interested? Also, did you ask your master about going to the Discordant Atonals concert? Because I'm really close to getting a backstage interview with the guys, so you HAVE to come!!

Later,
Jade


End Private Coded Transmission

 

Start Private Encoded Transmission

To: Still_Got_It@galacticcore.net
From: JadeSolo@veritas-zine.net
Via: fieryJade@galacticcore.net


All right, listen up, you hoverchair-bound hag - I don't know what made you think you could throw your boney ass all over my man last night, but try it again, and I promise you that you'll be a LOT bonier!

And just because you're too much of a coward to report the truth doesn't mean that I am. The facts about Shaindl and obi_ew were part of an official announcement that came DIRECTLY from the Jedi Temple, and it's my job to spread the facts. See, I'm not the one influenced by people with money and power. I'm not the one submitting to their will and sacrificing the truth. I'm not the one selling out! Though you have to wonder why the Temple would be so eager to release that kind of information about those "ladies." And for the record, I was not fired, but even if I were, I wouldn't care one credit about it. They're all toadies of the politicians.

As for Palps, if I did have some dirt on him, well, now, I certainly wouldn't tell you, would I? Damn, that guy makes your Master Jinn-and-Tonic look good. By the way, next time you see your Living Force lover, get a room. I don't enjoy gagging on my lunch.

And check the quotes on the real estate stock. I think you'll be surprised.

-Jade


End Private Coded Transmission

 

Start Private Encoded Transmission

To: muckraking reporter Jade Solo <JadeSolo@veritas-zine.net>
From: ace reporter Diane Thx <Still_Got_It@galacticcore.net>

Honey, if you can't keep your man in line with your young butt and fake chest, don't come crying to me. My "boney" butt was quite happy to be sitting on your man's lap and he was quite energetic, if you get my drift. Luckily for you, I wasn't really interested - it was all in good fun, kid.

The facts about Shaindl and obi_ew were part of an official announcement that came DIRECTLY from the Jedi Temple, and it's my job to spread the facts.
I see that you are still the subtle one - weaving your magic with words. Still slicing and dicing the competition, are we? And you wouldn't know how to tell the truth if it fell over you so don't come crying to me about selling out!

And for the record, I was not fired, but even if I were, I wouldn't care one credit about it.
As for that record about your getting fired, that's what your boss and his boss said. I've got it on holovid. You want to see the disks? Not that you getting fired was any loss to that second-rate "News" service. At least now you can dig into stories that have some meaning - if you've got the guts.

As for Palps, if I did have some dirt on him, well, now, I certainly wouldn't tell you, would I?
You're a damn fool if you go after him. He's big trouble. But don't let me stop you. I'm sure you can dig your own grave quite well enough without any help from me.

I'm going to ignore the whole Jinn thing. You're just fishing.

Okay, Solo, here's the real deal. We've got major trouble. Seems there's a "Jedi" (claims to be anyway) trying to blackmail me. He's found a way to slice into private transmissions and has been monitoring me. Likely you as well. Time to go to the backup plan. You do remember that, don't you?

Diane


End Private Coded Transmission

 

smelled Eau de Hutt Fart on his cloak last night, I knew he'd had a run-in with Thx.

 

I almost bust a gut reading Jade's posts. The woman has a definite way with words!!!!

For those that weren't at the fan fic awards ceremony last night, Jade and I were trading "words" and Des back and forth. He's in for it now! Oh, and we also traded water pistol fights and pies...

And OE you can jump in any time. After all, you are married to the illegitimate son of Prince Xizor....LOL.

 

*bows*

In real life, I unfortunately don't have a way with words - at least, not until I've gone through several drafts of what I want to say, and by then, it's been several days since the insult was thrown my way

Can you imagine the socks we could create for this?

Illegitmate_Son_of_Xizor
Jinn_and_Tonic
Hoverchair_Hag
Consort_of_the_son_of_deCrion
Not-a-Lady_Shaindl

 

Now I have a weird question. Are we our own OCs???? Talk about a paradyme shift....LOL.