Saga As The Furniture Flies - An Interactive Star Wars Soap Opera - We've been nommed! Opinions needed!

Yes I do want to be rescue

All your base are belong to us

Do you think I want to become one of Jabba's mindless hussies?

I have to agree with Diane on that one. C'mon, it's indoor work with no heavy lifting . . . unless you count Jabba.

 

You two are a riot. Rapacioius might not mind being a mindless hussy, but I know Raven does not. She's actually the intelligent one.

 

Except she's been in storage. Maybe something got messed up and she's looking for a new line of work....

 

Hey now, Diane, you leave my precious alone.

 

So this is where my padawan has been hiding. Wow, nice posts Diane!

 

Master,
Your padawan has been very busy lately. I'm writing a piece for Team Jedi, Team Sith (plus my Romance Obi story - challenge) among other things. I will probably have something PMed to you and Kitara by Monday or Tuesday. So we get to see brain-dead (Rapacious' guest) girl waking up.

 

Excuses.

 

Okay, where's Sidious? He was supposed to post the next part of our little "adventure". I guess I better PM!

 

Begin Audio/Visual Recording of Cell Block AA231237 ? Under Senate Building

Hooded and cowled figure identified as Darth Sidious, Lord of the Sith. Shackled and chained man identified as Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn. Retreateing cloaked woman identified as Allh Nemesis Sith Apprentice to Darth Sidious.

<Nemesis bows formally to her master then begins to walk away. As she does, she walks past Qui-Gon. She leans in to whisper in his ear.>

Nemesis : When master dearest gets through with you Qui-Gon love, you will be begging for my tender?care.

<She leaves. Sidious steps through the door and it locks securely behind him. Jango takes up a position at the rear, just inside the room.>

Sidious : At last, the great Qui-Gon Jinn lies before me alone and helpless. Where is your precious serenity now Jedi .

<He cackles gleefully. Jinn looks at him blearily, but is still able to maintain the vestiges of dignity.>

Jinn : The Force never truly deserts those who seek to follow its ways. I wouldn?t expect a Sith to understand that though.

Sidious (furiously) How dare you, you who have never even known the true power of the force! You hide from it like a child, a child who is frightened of the dark! (voice drops to a malicious whisper) You will be made to see this power, and by the time I am through you will be groveling at my feet praying for the end that will never come.

Jinn : (Composedly) I doubt it.

<Sidious gestures to Jango who bows and goes out of the room. A few moments later he returns with a broken and bleeding Diane.>

Jinn (in shocked grief) Diane! Diane! Wake up! What have you done to her?!

<Diane awakens slowly, her eyes fixing upon the Jedi Master.>

Diane : (quietly) I was right.

Jinn : (confusedly) I?m not sure what you mean?

Diane : I was right to end my relationship with you. You are nothing but an annoyance Qui-Gon Jinn! You?ve been trouble from day one, and now you?ve gotten me in this mess! I?ve always taken it before because I thought you loved me, that is, until all saw you with that harlot Shaindl! In everything we?ve been through I?ve always believed and followed you unquestioningly, and this is how you repay me!

Jinn : (brokenly) Diane?

Sidious : (interrupting Jinn) I think she?s whined quite enough, don?t you Jango? Dispose of her!

Jinn : Noooooo !

<Jango moves forward and blocks the camera?s view. Blaster shots are heard>

End Audio/Visual Recording of Cell Block AA231237 ? Under Senate Building

 

Hey, am I getting shot?????!!!!! I need a rescuer. Where's Biff when you need him???

 

Hey, good work Master.

 

Jingo? Who's Jingo?

Hm... I doubt she's really dead. I bet it's really Nemesis!

 

Well, it could be me. After all, most soap operas kill the character and then they come back as their twin sister... hating Jinn for letting diane thx get killed..... hummmm....

We'll just have to see!

 

Hey, am I getting shot?????!!!!! I need a rescuer. Where's Biff when you need him???

Hey, Diane, I think Biff is still getting his head bashed in by Kitara's lightsaber. We all know how she is with that weapon and poor Biff's head. Isn't there a saying that you always hurt the ones you love? I guess it goes to show Kitara's true feelings for Biff.

And speaking of Biff and Kitara, Team Jedi will probably have a post up by Friday or Saturday. I've just been having way too much fun with the Team Sith post to really focus on the Jedi.

 

Yeah I mean, what are the Jedi up to all this time while poor Jinn is being tortured?

I'm anxious to see what kind of rescue attempt they're mounting, if any.

 

Okay, I figure its time for more Team Sith posts. And thanks to my cohort in crime - the great Sidious - here we go.

Oh, and if it doesn't seem appropriate, let me know, and I will make the necessary changes. I tried to keep it within the board ratings. But like before, I got a little carried away here.

---

[b] START AUDIO AND VIDEO FEED ? SECTION 13 ? UNDERNEATH THE SENATE BUILDING IN LADY RAPACIOUS?S PRIVATE QUARTERS [/b]


[i] Two figures identified as Lady Rapacious and Jaysh Darkrider are seen putting their clothes back on as an alarm goes off on the coffin. [/i]

[i] Jaysh Darkrider walks towards the coffin to turn off the alarm as the communication console starts beeping. Lady Rapacious goes to the console, turning it on to reveal Darth Sidious. [/i]

[b] SIDIOUS: [/b] Am I interrupting anything?

[b] RAPACIOUS: [/b] [i] <smiling seductively at Sidious> [/i] No, my lord. We were just getting ready to leave to meet you and Lady Nemesis in your chambers.

[b] SIDIOUS: [/b] You will need to make a slight detour on your way to my chambers, my dear. [i] <His eyes become unfocused, starring off towards the coffin> [/i] I sense our guest has just awoken, yes?

[b] RAPACIOUS: [/b] Yes, my lord. I don?t know how, but she has. All of my other test subjects were unconscious for 72 hours after the ?thawing? process.

[b] SIDIOUS: [/b] She is still a Jedi ? even if force suppressed and memory wiped.

[b] RAPACIOUS: [/b] Two of my test subjects were Jedi ? a Knight and a Master. It still took them two and a half days to wake up. [i] <grins and laughs sadistically at Sidious> [/i] Only to die in the end. [i] <frowns and says sadly> [/i] Such a waste of good flesh, even if it was on a Jedi.

[b] SIDIOUS: [/b] [i] <chuckles silently> [/i] Your thirst for blood and death never cease to amaze my, child. You remind me of myself at your age. [i] <glances at the coffin before turning his attention back to Rapacious> [/i] A Jedi she may be, but she is completely different from the other Jedi. Just as you, my dear, are different from Nemesis and the others.

[b] RAPACIOUS: [/b] [i] <looks at Sidious with a puzzled frown on her face> [/i] My lord?

[b] SIDIOUS: [/b] A pity she couldn?t have been turned. She would have made an excellent weapon ? besides you, my pet ? to turn loose on the Jedi. But than again that is why I have you, Rapacious. [i] <mutters to himself> [/i] The only one I can actually depend on these days. In more ways than one. [i] <says aloud to Rapacious> [/i] You are my right hand, my messenger of death and mayhem.

[b] RAPACIOUS: [/b] Anything to please you, my lord. [i] <bows her head towards him smiling> [/i]

[b] SIDIOUS: [/b] Bring your guest to cellblock AA231237. She can keep Master Jinn company while we begin making plans. I can just imagine the look of shock on his face when he realizes that there are two of you. [i] <says more to himself than to anyone> [/i] Granted different hair and eye color, but your faces are identical. [i] <says aloud to Rapacious> [/i] 15 minutes, Rapacious. [i] <smiles at her mysteriously> [/i] Use them as you see fit, my dear, but don?t wear yourself out. We do have unfinished business to complete.

[i] The communication link is disconnected as Rapacious walks over to stand behind Jaysh, who is injecting a sedative into the young girl. The young girl is trying to focus on her surroundings but is not successful as she succumbs to the unwelcome abyss of unconsciousness. [/i]

[i] Rapacious slips her hands underneath Jaysh?s shirt, sliding them to the front and began caressing his muscular chest. She stands on the tips of her toes and begins kissing his neck. Jaysh slowly turns around and captures Rapacious?s lips in a passionate kiss. They slowly make their way back to the bed, Jaysh pushing Rapacious onto the bed. [/i]

[b] JAYSH: [/b] You? [i] <kissing> [/i] should? [i] <kissing> [/i] learn? [i] <kissing> [/i] to? [i] <kissing> [/i] control? [i] <kissing> [/i] your? [i] <kissing> [/i] self? [i] <kissing> [/i] love? [

 

CORUSCANT GALAXY NEWS

<<<< AMBER ALERT >>>>

We interrupt the scheduled ?As the Furniture Flies? for this emergency broadcast.

Approximately 30 minutes ago, six-month old, Sadia, daughter of Senator and Mrs. Bail Organa of Alderaan, was abducted from their maximum security apartment in Coruscant Heights Senatorial Complex. At this time, their have been no witnesses forthcoming. Any information on the abduction of young Sadia Organa, please call the Amber Alert line.

<<<< AMBER ALERT >>>>

We now return you to the scheduled ?As the Furniture Flies?

 

And finally the third installment of Team Sith. And like I mention earlier, if it seems inappropriate, let me know and I will change it.

---

[b] START AUDIO AND VIDEO FEED ? SECTION 4 ? CHANCELLOR PALPATINE?S OFFICE [/b]

[i] Inside Chancellor Palpatine?s office are two figures sitting on chairs are identified as Lady Nemesis and Jaysh Darkrider. [/i]

[i] Walking into the office is Darth Sidious with Lady Rapacious following close behind him. [/i]

[b] NEMESIS: [/b] What are your orders, Master?

[b] SIDIOUS: [/b] [i] <angrily> [/i] For now, my apprentice, you will stay away from Jinn and Raven. My plans have already been set into motion with those two, and I will not have you compromising the situation just so you can satisfy your lust for Jinn. [i] <his face softens for a second as he catches Rapacious leaving the room before hardening again as he turns his attention back to Nemesis and Jaysh> [/i]

[b] NEMESIS: [/b] As you wish, Master.

[b] SIDIOUS: [/b] Good. I have worked far too long on this to have everything blow up in our faces. I will not tolerate any failure.

[b] NEMESIS: [/b] [i] <looks at Sidious angrily> [/i] Speaking of failure, why am I not being allowed to punish Rapacious for her failures? She failed to keep an eye on her own servant, Pirel, and keeping Atvar under heavy security. You have allowed her to-

[i] Nemesis is interrupted and begins clutching her throat, gasping for air. [/i]

[b] SIDIOUS: [/b] Rapacious has always done what has been expected of her. She hasn?t failed in anything, but allowed it to take its course as planned. A lot more than I can say for you, my dear. [i] <his face darkens as he stares at Nemesis> [/i] You will not lay one hand on her, or you shall find yourself, losing a whole lot more than just some precious air.

[i] Sidious releases his ? force ? hold on Nemesis?s throat who then falls to the floor gulping in air. Jaysh leans down to help Nemesis up, who angrily shakes his arm off of hers.> [/i]

[b] SIDIOUS: [/b] Now, did you complete what you were sent out to do earlier?

[b] JAYSH: [/b] Yes, master. It?s been taken care of. No one saw us, so we have nothing to worry.

[b] SIDIOUS: [/b] You have better hope so. Any failures applies to you also, young Jaysh. Now, I believe you two need to leave and take care of some things. The Jedi will be arriving soon, and you and Nemesis do not need to be around here when they show up.

[b] NEMESIS: [/b] Yes, my lord.

[b] JAYSH: [/b] Yes, my lord.

[i] Nemesis and Jaysh walk out the door, just as Chancellor Palpatine is seen replacing Sidious. Chancellor Palpatine seats at his desk after pouring himself a glass of brandy. Several minutes later, there is a knock on the main door. [/i]

[b] PALPATINE: [/b] Yes, Ms. Sidio?

[i] A young raven-haired woman enters his office. Rapira Sidio is the aide to Chancellor Palpatine. [/i]

[b] RAPIRA SIDIO: [/b] Chancellor, Jedi Masters Yoda and Windu are here to see you.

[b] PALPATINE: [/b] Show them in, Ms. Sidio.

[i] Jedi Masters Yoda and Mace Windu walk into Palpatine?s office with Palpatine?s aide following behind them. The two Jedi take their seats in front of Palpatine?s desk. [/i]

[b] RAPIRA SIDIO: [/b] Can I offer you gentlemen, anything to drink?

[b] YODA: [/b] Nothing for me, I need.

[b] WINDU: [/b] Water, please.

[i] Rapira turns to pour a glass of water for Windu, she looks over to Palpatine who nods his head to her unspoken question. She pours another glass of brandy for the Chancellor. [/i]

[b] RAPIRA SIDIO: [/b] [i] <smiles and hands a glass of water to Windu, who pales a little as his gaze lingers a little longer on Rapira?s face> [/i] Here you are, Master Windu. Is something the matter, Sir?

[b] YODA: [/b] Nothing the matter, there is. Look like someone, you do. Mean to worry you, we do not.

[b] RAPIRA SIDIO: [/b] She must mean a lot to you, to leave such an impression. [i] <she walks over to stand behind Palpatine?s chair after handing him his glass of brandy> [/i]

[b] PALPATINE: [/b] [i] <sense

 

Rapacious and Sidious? That's sick! Urgh, apprentice, climbing the power ladder by any means necessary is one thing, but . . . sheesh . . . and I thought you had a sense of taste.

Rapacious and Jinn? I'm not . . . even . . . gonna . . . go there . . .

And, you know, I never thought Jaysh Darkrider's surname would turn out to be so apt.

Well done apprentice.

 

I'm DEAD??????? Well, we shall see

Good job. I'm really confused now about what is going on and that's a good thing. It has been a while....

 

Rapacious and Sidious? That's sick! Urgh, apprentice, climbing the power ladder by any means necessary is one thing, but . . . sheesh . . . and I thought you had a sense of taste.

I guess I should have put up a 'vomiting' warning. Although, I really did enjoy writing that and for Sidious giving me some ideas to use.


Rapacious and Jinn? I'm not . . . even . . . gonna . . . go there . . .

Well, what's good for Nem should be good for Rapacious, eh?


And, you know, I never thought Jaysh Darkrider's surname would turn out to be so apt.

I'm not even going to go there.


Well done apprentice.

Why, thank you, master. I think that was one of the longest (all 3 posts) post(s) I have written so far. It was about 11 pages or so and many rewrites - considering I couldn't stop laughing while I was writing it. Now, on to Team Jedi's posts. Although, they won't be as funny as these.


Good job. I'm really confused now about what is going on and that's a good thing. It has been a while....

I thought that was the whole point to ATFF. To cause mass confusion and delirium, or is that just me?

 

Silly girl. A baby? Interesting. Who's the father?

 

Who are you calling silly, Jedi (master of Raven)

Who knows, maybe the baby is Senator Organa. His daughter was just abducted (if you read the AMBER ALERT).

 

Oh, right. I was just thinking that it might be the love child of Rapacious and Sidious.