Saga As The Furniture Flies - An Interactive Star Wars Soap Opera - We've been nommed! Opinions needed!

Raven Loved the Guard_That_Booty@TempleShaft. !!! Oh, and Raven, are the stun-cuffs fur-lined? Oh,my....

Jade You are a riot!!!! Hey, Senorita Senile. LOL.

Damn, I'm too tired to come back with something snappy. Maybe tonight.


I still can't believe how much this has taken off. And the quality of the posts is first-rate! Keep up the good work, everyone....

 

Start Uber-Coded Private Transmission

To: muckraking reporter <JadeSolo@veritas-zine.mag>
From: ace reporter <Still_Got_It@galacticcore.net>

Listen, kid. I don't shake my geriatric ass in everyone's face (unlike that "Lady" you are currently sparring with) but your little delectable squeeze was just too delicious to pass up. And I might remind you that he didn't say no, now did he???!!! You really need to put him on a leash - just remember that leashs are good for soooo many things.

Damn, back-up plan A is done, then. Go to plan B. And I may have been threatened with blackmail but she knew about BOTH of us. Frankly, I don't think she knew anything about what's going down - seemed to be fishing more than anything. Well, until my former stud-lover blabbed about me to everyone in the blasted Temple of his - apparently!!! As for secure lines, who's the idiot that is using her WORKING address to write that little missive??? Use the secure line - you know - the one with the security on it.

Funny you should mention Ewoks. Well, you know all about them, don't you!!! By the way, how is your old lover these days? What was his name? Oh, yes, Wicket. Still picking out fur out from between your teeth, are you???

I was quite amused at your protestations of 100% natural boobs. PPLLEEAASSEE! At least, my surgeon is discreet unlike Dr. DooTooMuch. Not a good choice, Solo. The man blabbed all over Coruscant about his latest chest creation!! Heard he did a two-for-one deal for his little spitfire. Nice nose job, kid.

And watch what you say about Jinn. He may have problems but he's still the sexiest Master at the Temple and quite... inventive. As for the spewing of Palpy's wardrobe, I don't know where you got your facts - maybe in those dumpsters you're so fond of - but I did that. Enjoyed it, too. Just the look on old Palpy's face was worth the price of admission. I will have you know that it was NOT Qui-Gon Jinn. So lay off the lush jokes. The man has a lot to deal with.

Diane

End Uber-Coded Private Transmission

 

[Sorry I haven't been around. My home computer spontaneously died - I'm writing this from school. Anyway, you all seem to have had fun in my absence . . .

Start One-Time-Pad Totally-Uncrackable Encryption

To: incompetent muckraker Diane Thx <Still_Got_It@galacticcore.net>
From: Sith Lady Nemesis <dark_lady_nemesis@galacticcore.net>

Well, well.

Congratulations, Mrs Thx. Well done. Obviously my disguise was less effective than I thought if even your meagre investigative skills were able to penetrate it.

Take what satisfaction you can from the fact that you have forced me to leave the Temple. Don't worry about my welfare. I'm fine - more than fine . . . the Dark Side looks after its own.

Forward this to as many Jedi as you can find. Publish it. Let's see how their precious Order copes with the news that one of their most talented and most attractive (Master Jinn says some very interesting things after too much starshine, doesn't he? Still, as they say, there's truth in alcohol.) Knights has defected to fight on the side of the Sith.

For yout information, the holomail address is one of over 3 billion registered to GalacticCore and as you know, their source files are confidential - except possibly to me. It means nothing. Plenty of 'punk slicers' as you so quaintly put it, have usernames reflecting allegiance to one gaming team or the other. Unlike your friends at the Temple I have no use for a holomail address that instantly betrays its owner.

My Master, long may he rule, has instructed me to pass on a message. Why you I have no idea - surely there is somebody more suitable to receive such a warning than a singularly incompetent tabloid reporter? - but it is not for me to question my orders.

To all of you who hold to the so-called Lightside, and to their cohorts of hangers-on: Your time is running out.

Encrypt your panicky messages all you want. I can read them. Send them via secret lines. I can find them. My Master knows all the codes, all the numbers.

And may I add . . . I have your little friend Raven here with me. She's unconscious, of course, and will be in no condition to speak for quite a while. But do ask the Temple how much they want for her safe return.

It won't be enough.

Allh Nemesis
Dark Lady of the Sith

End One-Time-Pad Totally-Uncrackable Encryption

 

*in a whining little voice* Hey, no fair, Nemesis.

Kitara, you're my only hope.

 

dianethx: Loved the Guard_That_Booty@TempleShaft. !!!

You can thank Jade for the 'Guard That Booty' line. I had to give it Mace after you guys were making those 'Shaft' comments. Now If I can write a letter that befits Mace's 'Shaft' personality.



Oh, and Raven, are the stun-cuffs fur-lined? Oh,my....

Well, what else would you use?

 

He says it is because of you that he is more in tune with the Living Force. He also told us that it was because of the love you two share that kept him from leaving this world to join the force when he was severely injured by the apprentice Sith many years ago.
Aaww!


Comlink Transmission -- Tracking
To: groper_nat@senate.gov
From: Dark_and_Sexy@Temple24

Beep!

"Councilor Nat." Hey baby! "Quin! Honey didn't you get my message?" Yes I did, I just wanted to talk with you, I couldn't wait. "Why? What's the matter? Something wrong?" No, nothing. You know, I've been training aaall day, you should've seen me. Almost won a saber duel with Mace. "Almost?" Well... yeah ok, he beat the living daylights out of me. But one of these days... "Oh I know what you're capable of doing, honey." By the way, I have a few new ideas for tonight, some things to... you know. Do you want me to tell you? "Sure!" So first, I'll... *beep-beep* Hang on, I've got a second call.

Beep!

Quinlan. "Vos?" Kenobi? What's up? "Are you coming to Dex' Dinner?" Uh, no thanks. I'd like to eat today. "Hey, Dex' a friend, I resent that." Yeah whatever. Anything else? "Am I interrupting you?" Well actually I was... *Beep* Wait, I was talking to someone. Give me a sec.

Beep!

Just a minute, sweetie. It's Kenobi. Let me end the conversation with him and I'll be right back. "All right but hurry up, I'll be taking a taxi soon and we might lose the connexion." I will. *beep-beep*

Beep!

YES I'm here! Don't be in such a hurry for Force's sake! "Knight Vos?" Y...Y-Your Excellency? Is that you? "I was given your com id, I had something important to ask you." Yes, of... of course, Chancellor. Actually I have another call, would you mind if I... "No, please do." Thank you.

Beep!

Kenobi? "No it's me." I hate these new comlinks. Can you wait for a little while longer, darling? "*sigh* I'm not sure, but I'll try."

Beep!

Excuse me, sir. "No harm done, my boy. But do not waste my time." ARG Cut it out, Kenobi, this is not funny. Besides, you suck as an imitator.

Beep!

Your Excellency? "Hu? Are you talking to me?" Oh sorry, Spicy. Don't hang up ok?

Beep!

Please tell me you're the Supreme Chancellor. "Why... yes I am. Is everything all right, Knight Vos?" Yes. Yes, fine. It's just... Er... how can I help you? "As a matter of fact, I have heard that you were one of the brightest elements of the Jedi Order, and that you were particularly used to undercover missions." I have had quite a few, yes. "I happen to need the services of someone like you. I cannot give you any details now, but I would appreciate it if you could come to my office as soon as possible." Yes sir, I will do my best. "Excellent! In that case, have a nice evening." Goodbye.

PAUSE IN THE TRANSMISSION

Beep!

*sigh* I'm all yours now, love. "Is that a promise, Vos?" KENOBI! *growl* Aaah damn stupid machine! I *creak* ...let that *squeak* ...in pieces and *Malfunction - Malfunction - Malf...*

End Comlink Transmission

 

Nat - TOO FUNNY!! Something like that happening at work is one of my worst nightmares I could just see Quinlan crushing the comlink in his big strong hands. No, I'm not making a play for him. I just think he's cool

 

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

 

Thanks!
And Quinlan, he's so... sexy! I love his kind of brutal charm. And well, he's really handsome!

 

Master/Padawan Bond



Master?

Master? Hello? Master?

You have reached the bond answering service of the 'Oh-so-fine-Got-To-Have-It-All-The-Time' Jedi Master Mace Windu. He is out guarding the booty and can't help you. Leave a thought and he get back to you.

Help me, master, help me. You're my only hope.

I've been captured by the Sith and I can't get out.

 

Hi kids,

My haven't you all been busy! Makes it hard to keep up. Stupid question of the day: who exactly is Quinlan Vos? I've heard the name but I'm not sure who he is or what he does. Some description and some background would be nice. Thanks, guys.

Shaindl

 

Quinlan Vos?

I believe he is a Jedi i one of the Clone War comics, if I'm not mistaken.

 

Quinlan Vos was Tholme's apprentice, and when he was knighted he became Aayla Secura's Master. I think he only appears in the comic books. During a mission on Nar Shaddaa, he was captured and his memory was erased. Without the memories of the Jedi teachings, he kind of touched the dark side. He eventually managed to come back to the light - partly thanks to his Jedi friends.

Now during the clone wars, he has been given an undercover mission and has to pretend that he has left the Order (he even gave his resignation). The council wants him to gain Dooku's trust to be able to stop him. Unfortunately, Yoda seems to be the only one to realise how this mission could affect him and how dangerous it is for him, as he could be confronted to the Dark Side again. It's an ongoing story so we don't know what's going to happen to him.

That's about it. If you want to see what he looks like, you just need to look at my icon.
I'll scan a few pictures of him, if you want.

 

Start Private Encoded Transmission
To: Still_Got_It@galacticcore.net
From: dancing_fool@lovers.com

Dearest Diane, my love, mi amor, il mio amore, min kj©¡rlighet, ¬Þ¬à¬ñ ¬Ý¬ð¬Ò¬à¬Ó¬î...

My heart, it ees pining. Seence the moment my eyes see you, it ees as if nothing else matters. I long to kees you all over as we dance under ze stars. It ees no matter if ze big, drunk Jedi claims you. I weel fight for you until you are my own. Even wit ze broken toe, I will fight.

Ze Shaindl lady ees no matter also. She ees not a real amante like you. I will wait forever, eef I must.

Do not keep me too long!

Your amante,

Juan

End Private Encoded Transmission

 

Now who took this name? Who are you, Juan? Nice accent!

For those of you who'd like to see Quinlan Vos, check out the following links:

A young Quinlan with a cute little Aayla

An older Quinlan Vos fighting a warrior

With his Master Tholme and his Padawan Aayla Secura (we all know her)

Quinlan during his undercover mission

And with the "friend" he made during this mission...

There you go!

 

Juan - LOL! Too funny!

Nat, thanks so much for putting those up. I do dig the dreds.

Cheers,

Shaindl

 

To: all@jctemple.coruscant.gov
Still_Got_It@galacticcore.net
dark_lady_nemesis@galacticcore.net
JadeSolo@veritas-zine.net
Look_Good_In_Leather@templeC2
Hot_Corellian_Temptress@templeC13
ChosenOne.com
Dark&Delicious.net
Kitten @TempleC21
Guard_That_Booty@TempleShaft
I_Break_For_Redheads@TempleC31


From: Master_of_your_universe@jctemple.coruscant.gov

To Whom this concerns(namely everyone here)

First off- quit sending me your private transmissions- I don't have time to sort through everyone's love life, while I'm busy bemoaning mine.

Your attrocious behavior has been brought forth to my attention, and I'd like to say a few things:



1- Des, Xan, Jiv- none of you are that good looking in leather. I am the original God of leather- so don't even try.

2- Why does everyone think that they need to play pranks on me? What have I really done to you? Seriously- I'd like to know why there was itching powder and my name even mentioned in the same sentence.

3-Mace, you're not hot. I have it on good authority you shine your head anyways. Besides, need I even mention the kilt incident?

4-Nem- do I really have to come after you? I don't want to ruin my manicure. What? Men are allowed to look good.

5-Ms. Thx- why am I getting your private transmissions? I didn't really need to know more about boob jobs or e-wok sex. Is that even legal?

6- Also, Ms. Thx- I am SEXIER THAN QUI. How are you even dating him anyways? I mean, I realize you're old, but he's like ancient.

7-Ms. Raven's outfit had nothing to do with you kicking my butt. It was a cheap shot to a previous injury from my last mission. Actually I thought her out fit was a tasteless waste of money.

8-What happened at Tatooine was greatly exagerated. Really. And Kitty, I told you about that before- See here's the reciept from the e-mail I sent you.

9- If Kitty and I are through, why aren't the rest of you women here pawning over me?

-Ben

 

Start Private Encoded Transmission
To: I_Date_A_Ship@Temple69
From: nose_in_the_air@snob.com

Dear loverboy,

I just heard from my sources in the Temple that you've been a naughty boy on Tatooine. I do hope that you taught Kenobi some manners. He's getting too big for his leather britches.

Besides, he said some not so nice things to me. I don't think he should be allowed to get away with calling a lady a "randy trollop" - especially your lady.

I do wish you would break your connection with him. I know he's been your friend since you were a boy, but I'm your friend now. And friends like me make much more interesting playmates than other boys.

Do make sure to go and see Councilor Nat. It's nothing too bad. She just needs to make everything look official. If you didn't have to report to her and everyone else did, how would it look? Besides, she might have some interesting information for you.

Be well, my love.

Your playmate,

Shaindl

 

Velvet_n_Leather_Obi: Lookie! Lookie! Desa Jedi arriven.

The email address - Look_Good_In_Leather@TempleC2 - was originally Obi-Wan's. If you want to use it go ahead.






Start Transmission

To: Master_of_your_universe@jctemple.coruscant.gov
From: Hot_Corellian_Temptress@TempleC13

Ben,

First off, my outfits are not tasteless or a waste of money. They are appropriate for my undercover missions. And besides, you never had a problem with them when you were wearing them. So what gives?

As to why the rest of us women aren't pawning over you, we would rather sleep with a Hutt. And besides, didn't you come down with something after sleeping with one of those reporters?

Rave

P.S. I'VE BEEN CAPTURED BY THE SITH, YOU SCRUFFY-LOOKING NERF HERDER!!!! SEND HELP!!!!


End Transmission

 

Start Private Encoded Tranmission
To: groper_nat@senate.gov
From: nose_in_the_air@snob.com

My dear Councilor,

I do believe that I've convinced Garen to come and visit you as requested. Do go gentle on him as he still has some use to me. After I'm done, you and the Supreme Chancellor can use him for whatever you wish.

Are we still on for dinner with you and your companion Jon Solo? I do believe that you and I have much to discuss. I think we might be able to help each other - I have recently learned much from the Hutt real estate developers that are on-planet. They have some intriguing plans for some prime real estate on Coruscant that we both would like to see redeveloped. As well, the information they gave me would help us to eliminate those two interfering reporters.

Contact me if you're interested in pursuing the conversation. If not, I understand - I have someone else I can go to with the information.

With every good wish, Councilor.

Shaindl

 

I don't think he should be allowed to get away with calling a lady a "randy trollop"

I do wish you would break your connection with him.

Oooh this could be interesting! Trying to separate two best friends, are we?

Do make sure to go and see Councilor Nat.
Yes, she's already waiting!

 

Start Private Encoded Transmission
To: nose_in_the_air@snob.com
From: groper_nat@senate.gov

Dear Ms Shaindl,

I am relieved to see that Knight Muln has listened to your advice. He has just sent me a message telling me that he agreed on seeing me tomorrow evening. Do not worry about what will happen then, all I want to do is help him, that is why I would like to know everything about his misadventure on Tatooine... to be able to speak on his behalf to the Supreme Chancellor.

I have to say that I am very interested by the informations you seem to hold and I will be glad to discuss this further. I am sure we could both take advantage of it.

I already have some plans for tonight, and as you know, I will see Knight Muln tomorrow evening. However I think I could cancel an appointment the day after, and if you and your companion are available, I would gladly meet you for dinner then.

With all my regards,

Councilor Nat.

End Encoded Private Transmission

 

Start Private Encoded Transmission
To: groper_nat@senate.gov
From: nose_in_the_air@snob.com

Councilor,

That would be most satisfactory. As I said, I'm sure my information is of mutual interest. I look forward to sharing it with you shortly - and to hear how your meeting with Garen went.

Until then,

Shaindl

 

*sits with eyes glued to holovid*

What a show you've got going here. I think though you're gonna need to put out those weekly soap updates I see in the paper so everyone can keep up with what's happening!

By the way, I'm eagerly waiting to see if Raven gets rescued or is enslaved by that Sith forever.

 

You have no idea, HHP - I'm the one who started the bloody thread and I can't keep track. An update would certainly help me!

So when are you getting involved?

Shaindl