Tampa, FL As the shields go down and stinkbombs rain down on Docking Bay 1138, Edmontooine's troops move in...

Attack pattern Delta, go now!!

*Indigo runs up to Sereana_Nightstar and dumps a pail of rotting Florida Oranges on her head*

"You can have these back... been sitting in on my furnace for a month now!!!"

*kicks the GONK droid for good measure and retreats back to his front lines*

 

All right men. Open fire.

//Proceeds to launch barrage after barrage of Timbits at the unsuspecting residents of Florida

 

Starting our attack run

*hovers over Tampa FF roasting people in my X-wings backwash*

 

Ahem. Men?

*takes off a high-heeled shoe and whips it at the enemy lines, knocking out several troops before it returns, to be caught in mid-air from its boomerang-like flightpath*

 

Woohoo!
//Proceeds to run around like a banshee instilling fear and loathing into the hearts of the oppossing troops.

 

"FIRE!!!"

*The Tapioca Pudding Launchers fire a full salvo of dripping, gooey, stinky pudding at the lines of the bewildered and confused members of the Tampa FF*

"That should hold them!"

 

RED ALERT..RED ALERT..Tampa Docking Bay 1138 is under heavy northern attack from The Canadian Bacon Bandits....All flight crews man your stations, all flight crews man your stations...this is not a drill, I repeat this is not a drill.....in coming enemy fighters and troop transports.....All pilots to your ships....all pilots to your ships......stand by to luach all fighter squadrons.....

 

"More tapioca pudding, coming right up, dearie...I mean, Sir!"


*salutes*

 

And to think that all those fighters sitting on the tarmac are empty. Pitty for them. Oh well, destroy them boys.


//Proceeds to destroy all enemy craft, all of which appear to be unoccupied.

 

*The X-wings sets down and I hop out with a Spud gun launcher over my shoulder. I lay down a barrage of potatos Choonk, choonk, choonk*

I'm out! Reload! Reload!

 

*holds out potato, but doesn't hand it over*

"What's the magic word?"

 

I'm gonna be fragged! Gimme the potato NOW!

...*ahem* please!?

 

"That's better. Just because you'e in a warzone is no excuse to forget your manners at home, now, is it?"

*smiles sweetly, hands over a whole sackfull of potatoes*

 

Boy. Talk about completely no resistance! I guess it's time to plant a new flag on the lawn...

 

Count Doofus surveys the enemy's front line and frowns disgustedly. "And they call ME a retard..."

*Sticks finger down throat and heaves a warm, sticky helping of vomit into the crowd of delusional Canadians.

"That should hold them..."

 

*Wheels out large catapult and (despite the droid's plea for mercy) fires "The Gonk" into the scattering mob of confused and sticky, maple-leaf-emblazoned invaders.

"Come now, My Canadian Friends... Surely you can do better. This can all be settled by a quick game of hockey."

 

Annya slides down from her vantage point and stealthily advances towards the vessel that has landed near her position. She sneers at the Mapleleaf emblem on it's side. Inching quietly towards the ship she draws her sidearm and takes aim at the unaware invader as he stands guard at the ship's doorway. Through cellular manipulation, Annya changes her appearance and approaches the guard...

A few moments later, Annya returns to her standard appearance wiping the splatters of sputem off her gloved hand where the guard's unsuspecting mouth met Annya's unflenching right hook. She grins as she steps over the unconcious body of the downed Canadian. Slipping inside of the ship she takes out two others and the pilot before sitting down in the cockpit to look over the controls. Preparing for flight she plans to sneak into the enemy camp with their own ship to give them an unwelcomed and lethal surprise.

 

BRING IT ON!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *charges into machine gun fire and kills every Canadian on the line with BARE HANDS*









I've been planning a 3 man invasion of Canada for the last week or so. With that many men we could take the capital within a month! WHO'S WITH ME!?

~Neszis~

 

As he is running, Neszis slips on a puddle of cheap American beer and bangs his head on the ground, hard.

*Indigo rushes out and covers him in Maple Syrup*

"NOW try to run!!!"

 

Count Doofus recruits a new species of Seperatist Force-weilding Frog-people who are transported into DockingBay1138 to lick the syrup from the troops' bodies and return them to battle.

 

Grand Admiral Jade looks to his first officer and nods

Tell the interdictors to move in and activate the interdiction field...Keep those Canadiens here while I take the fleet to wipe out Edmontooine.

Prepare to jump to lightspeed...leave 4 squads of our Tie Advanced fighters to protect the interdictors..tell our Alliance allies on the planet to have their Capital ships move to hold the remaining forces.

 

GONK YOU CANADIANS, BEWARE OF THE GONK, THE FORCE SENATIVE, DOUBLE WHEELING LIGHT SABER, LACTOSE INTOLERATE DROID.

I'VE STARTED H.O.C.K.E.Y. THE HOSTILE OVERTAKING of CANADIAN KABASA EATING YAHOOS.

I RULE ALL, GONK GONK....

 

Gonk... Face it. You're cannon-fodder.

 

*Indigo gets the call on his comm that the Marshmallow Squadron has successfully filled up the exhaust ports on the TIEs with marshmallows and hot chocolate*

Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

 

Overhead a scream of ion engines roars over the battlefield. The cargobay opens and a barage of genetically enhanced Tribbles pour out onto the unsuspecting Canadians. They begin eating the Canadian syrup and bacon and begin to multiply at an alarming rate covering the battlefield in ferocius, furry and pregnant tribbles. The hormones kick in as the Tribbles look for larger supplies of food....ummmm...Canadians. The frightened enemy retreats in fear.