Buff, NY Ask a stupid question Get a stupid answer

A: I think it comes from the latin, meaning: the act of grinding ones foot off to the ankle creating a bloody stump.

Q: Why did I do that to my foot?

 

A: Pure boredom

Q: Why does my pen refuse to write when I need it?

 

It has a pen mind of it's own.

Why do blue ink pens explode or die quicker than black ink pens?

 

A: It became self-aware and realized that NO ONE is gonna tell it what to do! NO ONE!!!!

Q: Why don`t I wanna go and do any work?

 

easy: work stinks.

why are bar codes made up of little lines, why cant they be checkers or somethin

 

A: Cuz chess cried discrimination.

Q: Why is it necessary to work? Why can`t we just get stuff for free?

 

A: You can but will probably get arrested for stealing.

Q: Who thought the Sarbanes-Oxley law would be a good idea?

 

A: ummm...I`ll guess...Sarbanes & Oxley.

Q: What the heckfire is the Sarbanes-Oxley law?

 

A: A law that made life a living hell for any programmer that works in a campanys' financial branch. I spend more time documenting a program then I do writing the program itself. Basically a knee-jerk looks good reaction to the Enron scandals that was passed without considering the impact on the rest of humainity and which is essentially worthless. If I wanted to embezzle it wouldn't be difficult with or without Sarbanes-Oxley.

Q: Why didn't I go into farming instead of becoming a programmer?

 

A: Probably because of the manure smell.

Q: Why does manure smell so bad?

 

A: Look where it comes from.

Q: If I ate grass all day, would I smell that bad?


edit: (Yeah, I know I just left this wide open for a DNBOD joke!)

 

A: I doubt your diet has anything to do with your putridity.

Q: Why do I have this funny feeling that I`m gonna thumped by Chris one of these days.

 

A. Perhaps you can fell the force choke through the computer. it takes a lot for me to get to the point where I will thump you.

Q: What made you think I would thump you?

 

A: My rapier wit.

Q: Does anyone mind if I go to bed now?

 

A: Go ahead, just as long as it's not my bed.

Q: Is anyone else itching to go home for the night?

 

only those in work.

Why can't thunder be quiet?

 

A: What? I can`t hear you over all this thunder!!

Q: Why can`t thunder be quiet?

 

Gee I dunno.

Why is rain wet? hahah

 

A: It would awfully funny if it fell as jello!

Q: Why is everyone complaining that it is cold in here today?

 

A: It doesn`t matter. That was a few days ago already.

Q: Does anybody really use the flap?

 

A: If you have to ask, then the answer is no

Q: Where did I put my warranty guidelines?

 

A: We could tell ya but you probably don't want to know.

Q: Has anyone seen Chris' warranty guidlines?

 

A: They`re in Jason`s trunk.

Q: Why is there so much evil in the world?

 

A: Evil is as Evil does.

Q: Did Chris find his warranty guidelines in Jason's trunks yet?

 

A: No, there is too much other paraphernilia to sort through!

Q: Can someone help me look for them?