Before At the Root of Our Discontent. Qui, Obi. One shot "slice of life." Humor & not.

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Valairy Scot, Jul 2, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Title: At the Root of Our Discontent
    Author(s): Valairy_Scot
    Timeframe: before TPM
    Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn
    Genre: one shot
    Keywords: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn
    Summary: Just a simple little story :oops:to get away from the angst in another of my stories. It's fun, it's nothing dramatic, it may surprise you. It's a-start-writing-a-piece-of- dialogue and see where it leads. It's not high literature.


    At the Root of Our Discontent


    ?You defy me again.? As befitted a Jedi master, the words were soft spoken and without emotion.

    ?I choose to call it following the will of the Force,? was the calm reply. Obi-Wan looked steadily at his master. ?That lesson my master has chosen to install in me over any other.?

    Qui-Gon leaned forward and stared at his padawan. Obi-Wan met his eyes; no flicker of emotion in his bright blue-gray eyes betrayed his thoughts. Qui-Gon slowly crossed his arms, posture unreadable.

    ?You are a wretched brat and I shall be punished by being forced to continue to educate you, rather than severing the braid and throwing you into the galaxy to fare as a knight.?

    Obi-Wan showed masterful control at this comment. ?It appears so, Master.?

    ?I told you once I wondered if I should remain so.? Even that comment did not stir a reaction, either physically or through the Force. Qui-Gon?s eyes narrowed. ?So, I shall continue to be stuck with a padawan who is neither grateful nor obedient, and in no hurry to be knighted and away from my tutelage. I have failed to instill a proper sense of timing into you.?

    ?Such an unworthy one as I needs further instruction, Master.? Obi-Wan inclined his head as a dutiful padawan, but held his ground. ?Perhaps I must delve more deeply into the Living Force; had I done so, we would not be having this conversation and your displeasure with your padawan would not so readily apparent.?

    ?Indeed. Displeased am I? With you? Have you given me cause??

    ?It is most apparent, and the cause is rather obvious, is it not??

    Considering both Jedi were well aware of the issue between them, Qui-Gon relented just a bit, softening his tone just a fraction.

    ?It is perfectly obvious what is at the root of our current difficulties. Such a trifling thing should not cause enmity between us. Had you avoided introducing it now, we would be discoursing peaceably as usual at this time. Apparently I should have maintained greater supervision of your activities.?

    ?It is so, Master. Now, will you please be seated??

    ?It is not your place to command me, insolent one.? As before, the words were softly spoken. The only reaction was a slight raising of the padawan?s eyebrow, a gesture that almost went unnoticed.

    ?It was a request, Master. I am mindful of the respect a padawan must show a master. I am also mindful of the courtesy expected of a Jedi to all beings. You verge on displaying such unseemliness, though it be but in our quarters.?

    ?So,? Qui-Gon reluctantly conceded. ?Perhaps?.?

    ?Perhaps.?

    ?Well then.? Qui-Gon slowly uncrossed his arms.

    The Jedi master and apprentice stared at each other a moment longer, then Qui-Gon dropped into a chair and sighed. Obi-Wan?s lips twitched, then, just barely. He turned away and returned a moment later to place dinner before his master. Qui-Gon?s head lifted and he looked at Obi-Wan with a most puzzled look.

    ?This is not what you prepared.?

    ?This is not what you smelled. Knowing your unrefined taste, I prepared this for you while I partake of the delicacy I have prepared for myself.?

    ?So. I have misjudged you. You are most devious, padawan mine.? Eyes suddenly twinkled from the Jedi master?s face. ?Letting you fix evening meal seemed a grievous error in judgment on my part when I walked in here and smelled that odious item.?

    ?Ah, so you doubt I failed to learn your lessons on maintaining good relations with one?s betters? The padawan of Qui-Gon Jinn has learned his master?s lessons well.? This time, the padawan?s own g
  2. Fifilla Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2006
    star 3
    =D= I loved it!
    Very nice banter between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan at the beginning.

    ?Twelve some years ago ? I would not have thought the next twelve would be so fulfilling,? he mused, remembering his initial hesitancy against accepting another padawan ? of accepting Obi-Wan. Had he ever told the young man how right that decision had been to accept him as his padawan ? how enriched his life had been by giving in to the Force?

    ?It has been a joy and an honor to teach you, Obi-Wan.?

    ?It has been equally so for me to be your padawan, master mine.?

    The two Jedi smiled at each other; everything they wanted to say was so easily expressed in those few words.

    [face_love] I'm glad that they used the opportunity to talk!

    After Naboo.
    :_| I knew that would come! :_|
  3. Luminara_Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 6, 2006
    star 2
    Edit: didn't get first reply :oops:

    That was a lovely little piece. I love this surge of introspection on the relationship between Obi and Qui, and I think you've done a wonderful job portraying it here. A bit of disagreement, a good dose of joking, and, of course, the much-needed heartwarming mush. I must admit, I was curious as to what had them at such odds in the beginning...food--very fitting. o_O

    Oh, and, of course... :_|
  4. ClaudiaR Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2007
    star 1
    I hated that last line... because all of us knew
    it was coming and that Naboo will shatter the peace
    between them, and throw doubt and death into their path
    it was such a cute fic, the foreshadow at the end not has
    me sad
  5. ratna Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
    Summary: Just a simple little story to get away from the angst in another of my stories. It's fun, it's nothing dramatic, it may surprise you. It's a-start-writing-a-piece-of- dialogue and see where it leads. It's not high literature.

    --What???

    This is awesome.

    ... and sad:_|

    Loved it!
  6. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Expectancy? Anticipation? Did destiny beckon?

    Obi-Wan?s twenty-fifth life day had come and gone a week before; Qui-Gon had not recently mentioned anything about the padawan taking the trials; perhaps upon further reflection his master had decided he had spoken too soon.

    Obi-Wan restrained a sigh. In time, all would be revealed and he would just have to restrain his impatience. He hadn?t yet mastered that, it was clear. Had Qui-Gon had second thoughts about starting to prepare him to face the trials?

    No, he decided, this sense of restrained impatience had nothing to do with the padawan; it had everything to do with the master.

    Perhaps it was just anticipation of leaving the Temple on their first mission in over a month.

    Such a simple mission, too, if one believed the rumors; hardly one to excite a Jedi.

    All would be revealed, in time.

    After Naboo.


    Amazing. As always. Your talent never fails to move me. =D=
  7. jedidas3 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2007
    star 3
    Wow! This was wonderful. I enjoyed the banter between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon---playful yet haunting at the same time. Again, your talent never ceases to amaze me. =D= =D=
  8. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Lovely, so sweet and with just a touch of melancholy.

    Loved this.

    ?This is not what you prepared.?

    ?This is not what you smelled. Knowing your unrefined taste, I prepared this for you while I partake of the delicacy I have prepared for myself.?

    ?So. I have misjudged you. You are most devious, padawan mine.? Eyes suddenly twinkled from the Jedi master?s face. ?Letting you fix evening meal seemed a grievous error in judgment on my part when I walked in here and smelled that odious item.?

    ?Ah, so you doubt I failed to learn your lessons on maintaining good relations with one?s betters? The padawan of Qui-Gon Jinn has learned his master?s lessons well.? This time, the padawan?s own grin broke through the careful solemnity of his face as he returned with his own plate and sat down at the table across from his master.


    I was cracking up when I realized they were disagreeing about food. Good one!

    And I loved how it morphed into a talk about trials and how Qui-Gon would miss him.

    And then Naboo! :_|


    Great job. Always love your work.
  9. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4

    Brilliant.=D=

    It was so sad in TPM when they argued, and Qui-Gon wanted to take Anakin as his Padawan.:_|

    I would like to think a conversation just like your story took place prior to their mission to Naboo.[face_thinking]

    I loved it.[:D] Well done.
  10. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Ohhh. :( So sweet until the last line punches ya in the gut. :p I love how Obi-Wan wasn't sure if Qui-Gon was serious about the Trial talk or not. But horribly sad that he assumed there would be a few more years, when in reality they had only days left together. You portrayed Qui-Gon and his inklings to the future so well. Beautiful piece, Valairy. =D=
  11. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    You described their relations perfectly.
    And that last

    Such a simple mission, too, if one believed the rumors; hardly one to excite a Jedi.

    All would be revealed, in time.

    After Naboo.


    So sad:_|
  12. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Fifilla: I loved it! Very nice banter between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan at the beginning. I love to write banter, as you probably know. I knew that would come! Ack! I?ve descended into predictableness.:eek:

    Luminara_Kenobi
    : That was a lovely little piece. I love this surge of introspection on the relationship between Obi and Qui, and I think you've done a wonderful job portraying it here. A bit of disagreement, a good dose of joking, and, of course, the much-needed heartwarming mush. I must admit, I was curious as to what had them at such odds in the beginning...food--very fitting. When I first wrote that (the "argument" was written a long time ago), I had no idea what they were fighting about - of course, it's only play-fighting.

    ClaudiaR: I hated that last line... because all of us knew it was coming and that Naboo will shatter the peace
    between them.
    Aw, predictable me.

    Ratna: This is awesome.... and sad Thanks. I don't think I can write drama without humor, humor without sadness - nope, must mix several emotions.

    VaderLVR64: Amazing. As always. Your talent never fails to move me. ? Inspired by your wonderful example: I try to live up to the standards that YOU set.

    Jedidas3: Wow! This was wonderful.[face_blush] I enjoyed the banter between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon---playful yet haunting at the same time. Banter is so much fun, but I can't just leave it at that.

    Dianethx: I was cracking up when I realized they were disagreeing about food. Good one! Food was the last minute item. This little story was sitting on the computer for months without a "topic" or resolution, then the second part just hit me in the head that same day I posted it.

    And I loved how it morphed into a talk about trials and how Qui-Gon would miss him. One thing leads to another...

    Gkilkenny: I would like to think a conversation just like your story took place prior to their mission to Naboo. Yup, me, too. Poor Obi just seemed so blind-sided by Qui before the Council. I have to believe Qui didn't mean it that way, but, oh, man, that had to have hurt.

    LuvEwan: So sweet until the last line punches ya in the gut. Hey, [:D] it's one of my favorite Obi-Wan-stories authors! Nice of you to drop in and comment.

    Earlybird-obi-wan: You described their relations perfectly. Thanks much. I had fun writing a "fake" argument that both knew was fake all along. Jedi just gotta have fun, right?
  13. Ganki Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2002
    star 3
    I loved this whole fic from start to bottom. I was worried in the beginning with the banter taking place however when the topic was revealed I couldn?t help but laugh. Poor vegetables where is the love for them Qui-Gon?

    However the transition from humor to more of a reflective tone was beautiful and the foreboding and the ending made me so sad. GAH! I knew that was coming but it still made me so sad.
    :_|

    All in all very good fic I truly enjoyed it. [face_dancing]
  14. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Oops - a long overdue thanks for reading, Ganki.

    I loved this whole fic from start to bottom. I was worried in the beginning with the banter taking place however when the topic was revealed I couldn?t help but laugh. Poor vegetables where is the love for them Qui-Gon?

    Ah, Qui can't love everything.

    However the transition from humor to more of a reflective tone was beautiful and the foreboding and the ending made me so sad. GAH! I knew that was coming but it still made me so sad.

    I probably should have left part two off, eh? I tend to throw those twists in.
  15. dimyavie Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 3, 2006
    star 1
    So I read this fic and I love it! The banter between Qui and Obi was wonderful and I loved how you could feel the affection they have for one another. The ending almost brought me to tears, with them thinking of "after Naboo" and us knowing the events that unfold there. I had to share the fic with my sis, since I enjoyed it so much. Thanks for writing! :D
  16. charie Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2007
    star 2
    Oops, I almost missed this one. Can I get a PM for everything you write? Loved the father/son relationship. Did Qui-gon have a vision of what would happen on their next mission? Wonderful as usual.=D=
  17. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    dimyavie: The banter between Qui and Obi was wonderful and I loved how you could feel the affection they have for one another. The ending almost brought me to tears, with them thinking of "after Naboo" and us knowing the events that unfold there

    Banter is one of my strengths; I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

    Charie: A vision? Well, a bad feelings, perhaps - well, since bad feelings are Obi-Wan's forte, more like a pull from the Force, a pull towards the "chosen one" perhaps? Destiny was beckoning, all right.
  18. Seremela Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 12, 2008
    star 3
    ?It is perfectly obvious what is at the root of our current difficulties. Such a trifling thing should not cause enmity between us. Had you avoided introducing it now, we would be discoursing peaceably as usual at this time. Apparently I should have maintained greater supervision of your activities.?

    [face_laugh] Great banter! Great joke.

    And then it went so seemlessly to reflecting on the future, Qui-Gon realizing that the time was coming near where Obi-Wan would no longer be his padawan and not looking forward to it, while Obi-Wan doesn't seem to want to realize it's coming soon.

    :_| And then you just had to throw in Naboo :_|




  19. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Seremela: Great joke....And then you just had to throw in Naboo

    Yeah, I had one part of this written for ages before the rest of it came together - and Naboo just slipped in there so perfectly.

    Start off with - an argument? Turn it to humor then bam! foreshadowing.
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.