main
side
curve
  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

At What Price ( Yet another JA Story)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Eryce, Jan 3, 1999.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. MON CAL WARRIOR

    MON CAL WARRIOR Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 4, 1998
    I miss these discussions.
     
  2. Eryce

    Eryce Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Feb 29, 2000
    Hello. Yeah, me again. This is my Obi-torture story. Enjoy and don't hold back on the feedback, kay

    // denotes Obi-wan talking to himself

    ***
    Consciousness returned slowly as Obi-Wan emerged from the darkness that surrounded him. There were two things that he noticed almost immediately. He was being carried and that his body was telling him almost pointedly that he was hurting, from the tips of his eyelashes to his toes. And hurting bad. His head felt like it has been used for voosball practice and his body just went through the digestive system of a C'tha cat. He made a half-hearted attempt to open his eyes and ? shut them almost immediately as pain shot from his eyes to his brain. Fighting down the nausea, he willed the crescendo in his head to stop, succeeding to a certain extant. Enough to continue thinking coherently anyway.

    //What happened? Why do I feel like.. bantha poo?//

    Ignoring the pack of banthas that were still practicing their dancing routine in his head, he tried to recall the last thing he remembered.

    Mission to Y'dra. Trial to prosecute the most powerful ruler on the planet. Ambassador finally agrees to testify before the Senate. Pursued by fighter planes but managed to escape. Landed in Coruscant. Jedi Temple deemed too predictable a place to house the witness. Escorted the witness to safe house. Only five people know the location. Returned to the temple. Escaped to the gardens for much needed meditation. Walking down corridor. Felt a disturbance in the force a fraction of a second before something crashed against his head. Something pricked his skin. Tried calling out to Qui-Gon. Darkness.

    Ah. He was drugged. That would explain why he felt so sluggish. And his head. Ouch. Taking a deep breath, he tried to gather the Force to help purge the drug from his bloodstream?. and failed miserably. That constant presence in his life was there, surrounding him as always. He just couldn't tap into it. Cursing inwardly, he made another try and again, it was like trying to hold water with his hands, slipping away just when he thought he succeeded. He concentrated on the bond, trying to reach his Master but all he got was static.

    //The drug. Some sort of Force inhibitor? //

    "Chain him there and give him more of the drug. I don't want him using that voodoo magic of his to get away."

    "He's just a boy, V'nak. We're two grown men. I'm sure we can take care of one defenseless boy." The sarcasm there was almost biting.

    //Defenseless little boy? Me? Why you? //

    "Shut up, you fool!" V'nak again. "No names. We can't have anyone finding out our names. Do you know what the Jedi do to people who kidnap their own?"

    //And I'll make sure you get a demonstration. Wait till my Master gets here?//

    Obi-Wan felt himself being propped up against a wall, and chains snapped into place, binding his wrists and ankles. Immediately, he sagged, his weakened legs unable to support his weight. Only the chains prevented him from crashing onto the ground. He kept his eyes closed, knowing that his kidnappers would talk more freely if they thought he was still out. A few slaps on his face told him that the kidnappers were making sure he was still out like a light. Obi-Wan had to fight the urge to bite the hand away.

    //Patience, Padawan. You can't do anything in your condition. Don't fight battles you cannot win. //

    "I'm not afraid of anybody, Jedi or no Jedi. Look how easy it was to take this one away."

    "You've never fought one have you?" The voice shook a little and there were sounds of cloth rustling as his kidnapper sank into a chair. "Their reputations are enough to scare you into surrendering. We were lucky that no one was around when we took the boy. Our mole must have known that and I for one, am thankful."

    //Mole? Someone in the Jedi Temple works for the other side.. sith! I've got to warn them.//

    "Hurry up with the drug. I need him nice and quiet when the boss gets here so that he can ask all the questions he wants and we can get out of this stinking planet. I'm quite sure the bo
     
  3. HealerLeona

    HealerLeona Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 18, 2000
    Ohhh, more JA. My favorite.
    Great start Eryce. You certainly get right into the excitement, looking forward to more.
     
  4. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Oh, boy! Chained to the wall, deprived of the Force, and now a Mindseeker is coming! A very promising start! All is not well in the Temple, either, which will probably prevent Qui-Gon from coming to look for his Padawan any time soon. Plenty of time for the torture, so bring it on!
     
  5. Eryce

    Eryce Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Feb 29, 2000
    Umm.. hello? Is anyone actually reading this? *Eryce is a little insecure*

    On a brighter note, this is dedicated to Jane Jinn . Obi-torture, like I promised...


    V'nak has been called many things in life, most of them uncomplimentary. He had no illusions about himself, knowing there was no way in all the hells he could even be remotely called "nice". Any innocence he once possessed has been replaced by cynicism brought about walking the path of the shadowy underworld of Coruscant. It wasn't something he regretted, having known no other life. He was a hard man with a nervous twitch that enabled him to keep on breathing. His first and only priority has been to himself alone. Thus, compassion has never been a problem with him, having seen many things that would leave most people with nightmares. And yet? why did he feel this twist in his heart everytime the boy screamed?

    The cries were coming on louder now. V'nak flinched as yet another fist connected with the boy's midsection, the crunching of bones audible in the deadly silence punctuated only by the helpless cries coming from young one. He didn't make a sound at first, when the beatings started. The boss had arrived with two of his goons in tow. Without the Mind Seaker. That'll come later, V'nak was assured, they might not even need its services. V'nak did not like the sound of that. His fears were realized when T'dar immediately woke the helpless figure chained to the wall by splashing a pail of cold water on his face. Grabbing a fistful of hair, T'dar had demanded the barely conscious boy surrender the location of the witness. Or be prepared to suffer. V'nak snarled inwardly at the memory, T'dar irritated even him.

    Arrogance and cruelty personified, T'dar was confident that the young one would submit without a fight. Confidence that was quickly replaced by anger when the young Jedi spit in his face, stating without words what he thought of the prospect of sufferring. That was when the beatings started. At first, the boy refused to grant his torturers the satisfaction of hearing him in pain. Dignity and pride personified. No sound passed through his lips, even when he was repeated punched, slapped, and prodded with an electro-jabber. He gave no answers to the question that would have at least ended his misery. Oh, V'nak knew T'dar would kill the boy after getting the information he needed but at least he wouldn't be suffering. And the ******* was enjoying this. Despite the delay, T'dar was enjoying all the pain and blood with every fiber of his sadistic dark soul. The sicko.

    Tightening his grip on the back of the chair he was sitting on, V'nak held on for dear life as the screams tinged with sobs of pain signaled yet another round of pain. The young one was brave. V'nak didn't even know how much courage it took to withstand this much pain. Pain was something he knew well enough to know it was something he feared deeply, loathed and would avoid with every means possible. A coward's way perhaps, but that was what he was. A sniveling coward when compared to the child who was bearing pain he could only imagine. Was that what the Jedi taught the children? How to withstand torture?

    V'nak flinched as the Jedi let slip yet another moan of pain. Glancing at the limp figure dangling from the chains, he noted distantly that blood was beginning to trickle from those bruised lips. The short blond spiky hair was already matted with blood and sweat, the pale sweaty face, the blue eyes dilated and glazed with pain. Bruises covering every inch of the thin body, streaked with crimson. The gasps of his labored breathing filled V'nak's ears, as did the echoes of pain that reverberated in his mind, long after the actual sound had faded, only to be replaced by fresh screams. Stuffing his ears in a vain attempt to block out the sound, he wanted to run from the room, to leave this scene of torture. He couldn't take much more of this. He needed to be away from the scent of metallic blood and the neverending cries of pain. But T'dar had given him a chilling sm
     
  6. Amarice

    Amarice Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 13, 1999
    I reading! Poor Obi-Wan, the really sick thing is that I can't wait for more

    MORE!
     
  7. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Thank you for the dedication. I really liked the way you described the character of V'nak. We really saw his conflicting feelings.

    Now. *rubs hands together* When is that Mindseeker going to come? Like Amarice, I can't wait for more, either!
     
  8. Darth Tristeza

    Darth Tristeza Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 7, 2000
    AAAH!! I had to read the latest post peaking through my hands!! Yikes! I'm scared! Qui-Gon better come quick and rescue the poor boy. I hope I'm not reading an Obi torture-the-poor-kid-til-he's-dead fic!!
     
  9. Eryce

    Eryce Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Feb 29, 2000

    Obi torture-the-poor-kid-til-he's-dead fic? Hmm..Darth Tristeza, would I do that? *looks all innocent* But then again, anything can happen!

    Jane Jinn One Mind Seaker coming up.. if you think you've read Obi-torture... you ain't seen nothing yet..

    I'm really sick I know.. but I've just been through a bad bad week with Sith-spawned lecturers snapping at my heels.. so someone's gotta suffer! And who else but our favourite Jedi?
     
  10. Kim-kenobi

    Kim-kenobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 1999
    COOOOOOLLLLLLLLLL <I am just too evil sometimes> Obi-torture.

    I am really hoping the next part won't be too far away. Please hurry!(you are killingme here)LOL.

    Kim B
     
  11. JSkywalker

    JSkywalker Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 10, 2000
    Ouch! Obi-Wan's really in for it this time! But please, when Qui-Gon Jinn finds him, don't hold back on what he should do to them for beating his beloved Padawan! *smiles evilly* I can't wait, those guys will get what's coming to them! hahaha eek.gif
    Oh, the wrath of a Jedi Master who's Padawan was stolen from him!

    Jess
     
  12. Kaylla Norn

    Kaylla Norn Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2000
    Near the end there were you flashbacking to near the beginging again? Was the coweredly mr. V just remembering or pondering or what? Also, how on earth could they see the bruses "Bruises covering every inch of the thin body, streaked with crimson. "? and .... uh, am I paying to much attention to this story... Maybe I should just leave and go work on my homework. Yes that is what I will do. Well, that and hope that a new segement will be added to this story.
     
  13. Kim-kenobi

    Kim-kenobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 1999
    aghhhhhhhhhhhh PLEASE POST. THIS STORY IS SO GOOD. YOU ARE MAKING ME BITE ON MY PILLOW HERE!!!!!!!

    KIM B
     
  14. Eryce

    Eryce Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Feb 29, 2000
    Kaylla Norn, errmm.. I don't really understand your questions. Was I flashbacking near the begining again? I was merely explaining the situation from another perspective - the cowardly Mr V in this case. It obviously didn't go well.. you didn't understand it. As for "Bruises covering every inch of the thin body, streaked with crimson. ", I don't know who were the "they" you were referring to. Mr V saw that. How did he see it? I was assuming that before they were tortured him, they took off his tunic?

    Thanks very much for reading so much into my story, at least this way I know there are people reading my story Many thanks for the questions and comments. It's a learning experience for me, writing this story. I need to know if what I am writing actually works or not.
     
  15. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    As long as you're here, Eryce, how about some more story? I think it's working so far, so do some more!
     
  16. Kim-kenobi

    Kim-kenobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 1999
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
    there is no post !!!!!!!
    please you can't keep us hanging here like this!!!!

    Kim B
     
  17. jedi_master_gimpy

    jedi_master_gimpy Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Yes, pleeeeeeaaaaase post more, Eryce!! this is really good!
     
  18. Katri Tai

    Katri Tai Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Feb 26, 2000
    Another great story
     
  19. light_sabe_r

    light_sabe_r Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 11, 2000
    Man, Have I been asleep or what?

    I'm stumbling upon half finished yet excellent fan fics all day!

    And now I find this...

    Come on! now that I'm here you have to post more!

    I love the detail.
     
  20. Kim-kenobi

    Kim-kenobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 1999
    uppers so the thread is not closed please write more.

    Kim B
     
  21. Kim-kenobi

    Kim-kenobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 1999
  22. Kim-kenobi

    Kim-kenobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 1999
  23. Kim-kenobi

    Kim-kenobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 1999
    please post

    Kim B
     
  24. Kim-kenobi

    Kim-kenobi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 1999
    please tell me that this story will be updated soon. I am so curious to what will happen. PLEASE ERYCE (I am sorry to be nagging)

    Kim B

     
  25. Eryce

    Eryce Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Feb 29, 2000
    Errm... in another 1/2 weeks
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.