Senate Autism and social disorders

It's not something I talk about much, to anyone... But, yes, I have been diagnosed with... something, since young age, since I was little. I always was a bit different than other kids. Quieter, kept to myself much more. Never really enjoyed big events, parties. I still am very uncomfortable being in a large crowd of people. It has even influenced my choices in employment, working night shifts, by myself, alone... Other people hate shifts like that. But I always take them, gladly. I also find it difficult, sometimes, to really communicate and connect with other people in the real world, which is why I spend much time, a bit too much, here and elsewhere in the virtual world instead...

The psychologists my parents took me to, when I was about 10, back in Russia, said it is because I am a late child, my parents were both in their 40s when they had me, this can influence a kid's development, apparently...

My older cousin back then tried to help me, he was (and still is) big into combat sports and martial arts; got me into it too, into Thai kickboxing classes. Figured I'd loosen up a bit, make some friends, whatever. It backfired, if anything. I learned how to fight. Instead of just a loner, I became an aggressive, potentially violent kind of loner...

Before, some other boys, at school, at summet camp, wpuld pick on me a bit for my awkwardness at times and whatnot; now, people just gave me a wide berth. I made it clear I preferred to be by myself. They gladly obliged...

I've continued to struggle with it my whole life, still do. Witnessing a couple traumatic events in my childhood (I walked in on our neighbor at our dacha, our summer house, as he got drunk and blew his brains out with his rifle, when I was 8; and witnessed a man fall under a train and get chopped up to bits when was 11) didn't help matter either...

Fortunately, my parents never gave up on me, they always stood right by me, all these years; as did many other people, especially at my high school here in Canada. I think all the support I got ensured that I grew up to be a functioning good person, overall. Now, I am in a relationship with a wonderful woman, who accepted me knowing about all my inner demons (she knew me since school too)...

I am ok now. I feel very blessed to be where I am.

I worry about my niece though. She is a teenager, and seems to have similar issues to my own. But she is taking a much more destructive and dangerous path... Getting into drugs, among other things. Getting into fights with other girls. Even has punched a teacher once.

I believe I can help her though. Put her back on the right direction in life... She does listen to me. Respects me. Her parents, my sister and bro in law, not so much; nor her older brother. But always has looked up to me, for God knows what reason lol

Anyway, just needed to get this off my chest...

If anyone here has such issues, need to talk or whatever, I'm here...

Happy Canada Day and upcoming 4th of July also, to everyone

 

Yikes, I'm really sorry to hear all that, Sergey. It seems like life has dealt you a rough hand. I'm glad you're doing better now, and hope you can help your niece. If you can't, though, don't blame yourself. Sometimes kids are going to do what they're going to do. Still, it's great that she looks up to you. I'm aware that there are a number of JC members who are on the autism spectrum. With luck, your thread will help them out!

 

Thanks.

I don't complain about my life, I think I've had it much better than many other people...

Anyway, yes, again, I'm always happy to help out anyone I can. Those members are welcome to this thread and to PM me any time.

 

What's sad about disorders like Autism is that the people who are truly afflicted with the disease are tainted by those who are faking it for whatever reason.

Take my cousin, for instance. They say he has Autism, and his mother makes a big old deal about it.

A few good slaps would take care of that little brat. I got so close to that once...


But in other thoughts...

I'm sorry about your niece SergeyX2017 . Perhaps she looks up to you because she knows you have been through similar things? If she listens to you, that's good. I hope it is enough to persuade her to a different path.

The best of luck to you.

 

This is awesome news!

 

Also great to see the White House calling it Autism Acceptance Month instead of Autism Awareness Month. There's plenty of awareness by now, we just need acceptance at this stage.

 

Yeah Autism speaks thinks it's a great evil that must be cured. Glad they weren't invited and I hope they never are again.

 

This tweet and the short thread that follows is also excellent:

 

With the issues with diagnosis, awareness seems short still, as that doesn't feel like an acceptance thing. There's very much a gap on awareness of what it is still. Though I'm also not a fan of saying there's a need for an autism acceptance month.

 

Me neither- I don't personally like to think of it as something that NEEDS accepting by broad society- although acceptance on the small scale can be hindered as a result of ASD- I can attest to that.
It is the kind of thing that in some small way affects my life on the daily, but I think of it as just something that's just there- for better or worse. I definitely am skeptical of it being labeled as a gift- there are definitely brilliant people with ASD, whose abilities have even been guided by it- but the only thing I am gifted with is not having a more severe case. I sometimes feel bad even thinking of myself as having ASD when so many others are affected to a much greater extent (I'm probably level 1, while level 3 is often unable to function independently to any degree)

 

I am almost positive my dad has ADHD and always has, and he is too. But he is way past getting treated for it beyond the anxiety part which he does take meds for. And honestly that's ok, he's functioned fine for 64 years this way.

 

I scheduled my son for an intake with the Colorado Assessment and Counseling Center, to get him diagnosed again, as an adult. We're doing this so that he can get set up for services, through the center for autism and related disorders organization. They'll help him with things like developing social and coping skills, job search, etc... pretty much getting him ready for adult life.

 

There's definitely still a widespread lack of understanding of autism; my family are clueless, three years out from my diagnosis. For at least a year thereafter, my middle sister treated me as incapable of understanding basic concepts. But then she votes Tory and is pretty thick... If anyone has difficulty with basic concepts, it's her.

In my time as a mental health nurse, I often found that young women who were likely autistic, were commonly misdiagnosed as having borderline personality disorder. I mean, you can have both, but it's far more commonly an either/or scenario. Even mental health professionals were often very ignorant of what they were dealing with.

 

I was diagnosed with Asperger's in 2000 at the age of 13. Back then autism was not well understood and accommodations were usually a one-size-fits-all approach, which we now know doesn't work. I barely graduated from high school on time and had no hope of college or even employment back then. I sat around for eleven years on Social Security Disability (using my father's work record as he too was on disability for a long-term injury) and then got assistance from the local board of developmental disabilities in trying out a job, which was bagging groceries.

I didn't last long there as the fast-paced stream of customers was not something I could handle well (although I did last nine months before I quit), but it got me thinking about my future, and two months later I enrolled at a local community college to see if I could handle college classes. I soon realized I could, switched to a transfer program, and ended up finishing my bachelor's degree this past December summa cum laude. I now make $74,000/year as an entry-level software engineer and am fully independent for the first time in my life.

The difference between my struggles in high school and success in college was simply time. From when I graduated from high school in 2005 to when I started college in 2017, huge improvements had been made in understanding of autism that led to a vastly different experience when it came to accommodations and support. I was able to get better accommodations, customized to me and my needs, and support from advisers and counselors who understood autism in a way that my high school counselors did not (in fact, my adviser at the community college had a teenage son who is autistic, so he especially understood "my world").

It's amazing to think that so much progress has been made in such a short amount of time, and yet we have much further to go.

 

I'm ADHD and bipolar and on disability. The struggle is real and few people can understand what it's like to be to at school in the third grade and being told that no mater how hard you work you would not graduate but instead get a certificate of attendance. I want to be a author but it's so hard to stoke to one story. Some time I feel like I have failed my parents.

 

I have a coworker who openly shares he's autistic, but he believes he definitely doesn't have any empathy because of it, and very much says autism is something broken that should be fixed in people. But you're saying autism doesn't have anything to do with empathy?

 

How Autism May Affect Sympathy and Empathy

 

I think there's an important distinction between more complicated relations that may impact some people and things that directly lead to the next. There's a difference between "someone is autistic, therefore x" and "because someone is autistic, they may have x". The former presumes something is central and more directly causal, and the latter is a bit more tangential, either incidental or probabilistic.

 

...to say nothing of possible co-existing conditions.

 

This is undoubtedly the case; and whilst anecdote is not an absolute substitute for research, it is very useful to listen to neurodiverse perspectives on this, as this is precisely what many autistic people will say.

I can experience emotions very intensely, but not always have a name for it.

I practically got kicked out of my English literature class at school as I couldn't relate to the stuff being taught. I was unable to write stories that weren't garbage as a child, not even in the context of what was expected of my age group; and so I got into science in a big way instead. I didn't lack imagination, and I didn't necessarily lack interest, but I simply couldn't 'get' the art of storytelling.

Some years later, I began to explore literature- the literature I wanted to read, rather than that which was expected of me. I became obsessed. My library of fiction is now substantial and reflects every genre and literary age. By doing this, I taught myself how to understand what I was reading (though it took years); how to appreciate allusion, metaphor, and just the art of beautiful prose. I knew I had stories within me, but I needed to have the confidence and ability to write them. I am now weeks away from pitching my first novel to literary agents.

You can do it. It isn't easy, but you can literally teach yourself how to write by understanding the emotional mechanisms, not just the technical, behind great writing. A few years from now, I hope my neurodiverse hero's adventures will be read by thousands.

 

I do enjoy that both "no, autism has nothing to do with empathy" and "no, autism makes people more empathetic" have both been covered.

 

There was a journalist on BBC radio a coupla weeks ago talking about how she was diagnosed autistic late in life , 50's, but she had to go private to get diagnosed as apparently there's a 6 year waiting list on the NHS.