Title: Back to The Light Author: Padawan Jess Kenobi Rating: TPM AU, POV, angst Keywords: Repost Summery: A POV about Qui-Gon's death, (TPM) Feedback: YES YES YES YES YES! Disclamor: I wish it were all mine... mine. But its not! Please reveiw guys. This little plot bunny kinda snapped at me, so I HAD to write it down I hope this isn't too confusing... I can't beleive what happened. Qui-Gon Jinn is dead. My Master, or should I say former Master... is dead. Cut down by a sith. I could feel your pain as you were dying, as deep as a sea of crimson red blood. You tried to sheild it, but you were too weak. I felt everything inside you. In your last few seconds, your soul opened up and I was able to feel every little thing you had been hiding for the past years. Every last thing, significant or not. I can now remember all the missions we used to take together. We were one of the best Master/Padawan teams in the whole Temple! I was proud, and I knew that you were too. How I miss that, your pride. The times where you just watched me spar, pride lighting your eyes, love forming on your lips. You looked at me like I was the most special person, not just padawan, but person in the world. I miss that, there is no pride in how I live now, no love that is visible without even needing the light to see. I miss that pride that was felt from so far away, that the breeze could not even carry it. Remember that, Mas- Qui-Gon? Remember all the good times? There were too many bad that I care not to recall. I wish it were not so, but I fear the past is past, and can not be changed, but oh how I wish I could. I would give anything to change it, but I made some mistakes that were too large to ever be able to alter the speed of time. I use to look up to you so much. When I was twelve years old, I idolized you. You were my hero, my shining star on a dark night. You showed me the way, I only wish I could have followed it better. How I wish I hadn't caused you any pain. If only I had listened. If only I did not do what I did. I must admit that being your padawan was the best time of my life. But how could it be? I don't know. I am so confused. Nothing makes sense now, now that you were gone. Why am I greiving so much? Its because he meant so much to you No he doesn't! But I know deep down inside, that you meant the workd to me. I can only wish that I meant that much to you. Pain. You caused so much pain through your death, but I know that I caused much more in life. In your memory, I will come back to the light. Stop my sinister ways. Stop all the evil I can. Like you would have done if you were still alive. But there is something that I can not stop. I can't stop the sapphire blue blade from penetrating. You see what you did? You see what he had to do just to be with you? Your padawan impaled himself so he could be with you forever.. Two Jedi gone. Your precious Obi-Wan just wanted to live with you, like you promised you would to him. He had to resort to this. I would too, I admit, but I have things to do that I hadn't done in the longest time. In life we had the exact relationship that when I was younger, I prayed to the Force that we would not have. But tragic occurences caused this drift, in which I prevailed. Why? I'm just not sure. I know that you are gone, but I am coming back. I can do and be what you always wanted me to be. I will be the kindest, best, fairest, most peaceful Jedi in all the Galaxy. We are no longer enemies, we are allies. Like we used to be. This tear running down my cheek, the trembling of my hand is the symbol for this, my symbol of loyalty to you. I will not let you down. I will change. I am different. You made me different, of which I am grateful for. You always said that my determination to do what I wanted would set me apart from many other people. I grab my lightsaber, the one that you helped me construct and put it in my belt. I feel whole again. You can't come back, but I can. I came back. Your Xani came back to the Light.