Before " BALANCE WITHIN THE FORCE "*01/08* OWEN STRUTS HIS STUFF & IS GOOD AT IT

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ewen, Sep 6, 2004.

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  1. snowbee-wan kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 28, 2000
    star 4
    Wow! What a twist. Poor Obi...Poor Qui!

  2. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Oh man :( poor Obi indeed... he's gonna get done showering and find out that the ship has left the planet... or he'll sense that when the bond with Qui weakens due to the distance. Same for Qui. Man I bet Qui will have a hissy!

    Great job! Loved how you had Obi tell the guy off *snrk* hehehe
  3. DarkDream Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 22, 2004
    star 1
    Whhooops... Missed a post... How did that happen? :confused:

    Obi is alone? :( Again? :mad:
    *Hits Qui for leaving Obi alone*

    Great twist!

    Yours,
    DarkDream
  4. Altaira Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2002
    star 4
    The King and Obi are off to a fabulous start *sarcasm intended* Benjamin breaking his words to the jedi will not help the relationship with Obi-Wan.

    Now, onto our Qui-Gon, freeing Yoda is a priority but trusting the King was not. [face_worried] He didn?t have any options but I don?t have to like it. Neither will Qui when he knows the King left... with Obi.

    :)
  5. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    I plan to post a small teaser for Part 2 tonight some time. No I haven't forgotten the story.

    Had finals and then you know a girl does have to shop!!!!!

    PEACE ewen
  6. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4

    Qui-Gon sat in the kitchen of his small apartment at the Jedi temple Coruscant. He was aware of his two best friends still ranting and raving about the maneuvers done against the Kragorian guards during Yoda?s rescue.

    Yes, very aware of it, but only at a distance both in mind and proximity. Yoda and Mace sat comfortably on Qui-Gon?s sleep sofa in the main area of his *home*.

    Qui-Gon had chosen the kitchen with only the breakfast bar separating the other two masters and himself. It was enough.

    His thoughts still lingered on the little boy he?d lost forever. The boy, Obi-Wan Kenobi thought to be his next apprentice had been shuffled off by his father, King Benjamin while he rescued Yoda. Rescue was not exactly what they had done. Master Yoda had everything well under control when Jinn and Windu reached him.

    When the three Jedi masters finally returned to the king?s ship, it was gone and gone with it was Jinn?s future apprentice. Destined instead of being a Jedi to one day be king of his home world, Jinn theorized in his mind. He had to admit it at first it gladden his spirits for Obi-Wan to find someone who was his family.

    However, knowing Obi-Wan was not an orphan now did not dull the ache in his heart. He had lost something so very precious to a Jedi master, an apprentice. A bond had formed but he had not even been able to ask Obi-Wan to become his padawan. The redheaded freckled faced little imp?s father had snatched him away. Jinn tried to think more rationally.

    King Benjamin did not snatch Obi-Wan. He had every right to little *Ben*. Father?s rights supercedes Jedi masters? desires to make a child his padawan. But oh how I wanted Obi to my apprentice and this bond.. What in the Sith spit do I do with this bond now?

    He was shaken out of his thoughts by a cackling laugh from his former master followed by chattering mirth by his best friend Mace. Mace slapped the knee of the other master to further startle him from his thoughts.

    Only then did it seem Mace and Yoda both snapped back to the reality of Jinn?s pain. Only then did they stop to think how much agony their Jedi master friend must be dealing with over a bond yet unfulfilled and at the moment seemed never destined to be fulfilled. Both sobered their actions.

    Mace rested his clamped together hands on his knees and stared at the floor. He felt a little guilty for being in such a good mood when Qui-Gon suffered so.

    ?Pleased with ourselves we are but forget you Qui-Gon we have not. Feel your unhappy aura in this room around me I do.?

    Jinn looked up and braved a smile.

    ?Nay do not worry for me. Bask in your glorious escape Master Yoda.?

    Master Jinn forced himself to smile. It was funny when he thought of it. Yoda had conned his captives in believing they had successfully put on the force inhibitor and they did.. However as soon as it was put on Yoda had figured a way to take the simple mechanical device off his neck. He just waited until he was sure Qui-Gon had Obi-Wan safely away before he unleashed his fury and his lightening bolts through his finger tips. Extraordinary even for a Jedi. Yoda and a couple of masters before him were the only ones known to be capable of doing it other than the Sith Lord Sidious himself.

    "We did make an impressive threesome as we battled our way out of the prison with you? If they had only known not to assume they could take the highest ranking master with more powers than a dozen Jedi masters put together and stifle that power. I can?t believe you didn?t take that collar off until right before we arrived.?

    ?Deal with force suppressants I have, many times in fact. Easy to remove the pain. No need for my force until time was right. Right time it was after sure little Kenobi safe with Qui-Gon he was. Give myself away I didn?t wish too? Aye forgot I have though deal with misery of the bond you do. Seek healers advice have you, Padawan mine??

    Qui-Gon did not dare look into the eyes of his former master, just replied with a ?HUMPH? in a disgusted tone.

    T
  7. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Well I'm glad that Qui is still gonna do something about Lars! :D

    Poor Obi... he's suffering from absence of Qui thru the bond. Poor kid...

    Great work! :D
  8. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    at least his father is figuring it out
  9. Altaira Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2002
    star 4
    Qui is not accepting the loss of Obi-Wan well. Lars may regret ever meeting Obi but I think Yoda is right to worry. Qui-Gon sounds like he could cross the line easily, :( and that won?t get Obi back.

    The Queen Mother is an strict one. Obi-Wan has left one prison for another. I?m glad King Benjamin is becoming more reasonable to his trouble even if he doesn?t know the what to do.
  10. TraxxasJedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2004
    star 1
  11. DarkDream Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 22, 2004
    star 1
    Obi is ill? You won't kill him will you? [face_worried]
    I don't like Benjamins mother she behaves like a -censored- :D I think you know what I mean.

    Write more as sonn as you are able to!
  12. DarkDream Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 22, 2004
    star 1
  13. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Come on Gus- let ewen near the computer
  14. DarkDream Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 22, 2004
    star 1
    Come on Gus- let ewen near the computer
    ~ Yes! There are people addicted to this story!
  15. DarkDream Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 22, 2004
    star 1
  16. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4
    Owen hid in an abandoned shack in the woods not far from where his home was. Had been?. Now I have no home, no mother, brother?.. And Risi saw to it I have no father. I knew Dad was in with the wrong people. Still I am not sure why he was killed. Had all this happen on Kagor planet I would not be alive. It is just that I know this area on my home planet Rayos like the back of my hand, that I was able to escape.

    Tears for his father had been cried out of him.. The sixteen year who thought of himself as an adult had cried like a baby when he witnessed his father?s death but now.. Now the shock of his father?s terrible demise was pushed aside for his own survival. He kept on the run and was sure if he didn?t he would meet his father?s same fate.

    Through a veil of tears Owen stumbled through the night, down lonely streets, in even darker alleys with a heavy heart and the thought that he would not survive, alone on the run.

    If only the Jedi were here. They have probably abandoned us, the way they were treated. I wonder what happened to Obi-Wan? If the Jedi can?t save me, my one wish would be that they could have found and rescued Obi-Wan. If I knew *Ben* was safe, my death would not be in vain.

    #### QGJ and Mace####

    ?Well it seems your revenge has been pulled right out from under your feet. Lars Kenobi is dead and along with him is the paybacks you sought.?

    It was unlike Mace to say harsh cruel things to his oldest and dearest friend. Then again it was unlike Qui-Gon to have sought revenge on another living sentient. The look of disappointment on his face when he?d found out that Lars Kenobi had found his fate, his destiny at another?s hand and that *other* had not been as kind as the Jedi would have been. He had been killed and with no real explanation for it.. The story told was more than likely a lie anyway to cover for the death.

    Mace hung back from Qui-Gon as the Jedi hurried through the city as if he actually knew where he was going and once there, what to do.

    Maybe he knows our plan of action but if he does I wish he would tell me what it is.

    Mace kept getting further and further back from the long legged master who could make twice the distance in one step as Mace would with one of his.

    ?Qui-Gon just wait up a second. Where are we going and most importantly what do we plan to do when we arrive??

    ?Lars Kenobi?s death has changed nothing Mace. The Jedi sent us on a simian and we have to complete it.?

    ?Do we have to do it in such a hurry? Risi isn?t going anywhere. As far I can tell, Rayos has become his second home and his power has only doubled while we were away. He is the top overseer here now.?

    ?Exactly!! and he has no right to be. This is not his home world and it is not something he can just take away from the rightful inhabitants of this planet. I think sometimes the Jedi are too generous and kind with their Jedi edits on how to handle someone like Risi and the Kragorians in general.?

    Mace finally caught up with Jinn after a short rushed pace of his own. He hooked his hand on Qui-Gon?s elbow and whirled the bigger man around.

    ?And just what is that supposed to me? We have protocol to handle missions Master Jinn. Jedi protocol and friend or not, I plan to make you abide by that protocol. I won?t let you do anything else but??

    ?Settle down Mace. It is only my frustration speaking not my true actions, though I think sometimes a harder hand used on people like Risi is needed by the Jedi it will not be me that break Jedi ritual of guardians of peace no matter how you and the rest of the council thinks of me as a rogue Jedi. And contrary to your opinion I I do not relish the fact that Lars Kenobi is dead. His fate by me would have been worse than death but under the Jedi guidelines. With him I did not seek revenge but justice. There is no justice in his death.?

    Mace softened his tone.

    ?I know Qui. It is just sometimes you worry me when you offer up such radical solutions to a problem. I also know how very much you wou
  17. SarkaVrae Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2004
    star 5
    i like it that you are still throwing in twists even this far into the story! :) great job, ewen.
    thanks for the post! :)
  18. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
  19. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Great work! Poor Owen :(
    Loved Qui's determination!!
    And what's this with Ben's father? He actually realizes something :D great work... perhaps the old hag will eventually see that as well... ;)
  20. Altaira Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2002
    star 4
    That was a surprise, Lars found what his worth was. I do feel for Owen being alone, but he?s better off.

    Also glad the king is seeing where Obi belongs, now just to get them all together. :p
  21. DarkDream Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 22, 2004
    star 1
    I really, really hate this woman. But I think I said that before, didn't I?!
  22. ewen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2001
    star 4

    ?Why do I get the feeling I have been reduced to inquisitive actions of a padawan or worse a two year initiate grabbing for answers about this mission? Would it be too much to ask you where we are going in such a hurry? I know our goal here is to topple the Kragorian Risi from his self appointed position of power but how do we plan to do that??

    ?First I have something other that toppling ?King ? Risi. That is certainly what he thinks he has become to the disgruntled people of Rayos. If Lars Kenobi was here and we know he was then where is Owen. I owe it to Ben to help his brother, if I can't get to him at the moment.?

    ?So much for the mission being top priority.?

    There was that stench of disappointment and raw venom in Mace?s voice again. Qui-Gon had sworn his allegiance to the Jedi and this mission. However the Jedi master kept dodging the mission for things that kept popping up to stop him. That is how Mace saw it at least.

    ?Don?t start again Mace. My desire to find Owen is two- fold. When we find him, Obi-Wan's brother might be the one to rally the people to be successful in overthrowing the Kragorians. The people have to be wiling to do it. We can?t take on an army, not two Jedi and a council unwilling to help the Rayosian fight to right the injustice of Risi and his people.?

    ?Qui-Gon you are not being fair to the council or the Jedi. We are guardians of peace. How much trust would be instilled in us if we went around fighting wars for other planets? None?. that is how much. We can oversee but not actually engage.?

    ?That is what I plan to do once we have found Owen. Oversee the people of this planet when they pick up arms and *engage * in a battle like none they have ever fought; for their homes, their freedom, and their very lives.?

    ?I doubt that. The Rayosians are not a war-like race.?

    ?Well with Owen?s help if we can get them congregated and explain what they need to do, they better become as one and do it. Or they are going to be enslaved with Risi and the Kragorian power never to be free again.

    ########Owen#########

    Night came quicker than Owen Kenobi had wished. He feared to build a fire and the wind had picked up just as soon as the sun went down on Rayos, chilling him to the bone. He pulled his coat together a bit better and snuggled in a bed of pine branches he?d broken from the bottom of the tree. The tree sat about fifty feet from where his farm home had once stood, the shell of the burned out farm house still stood. He?d wanted to go through the burnt house and sift through the remainders. Possibly find something that he could take with him and remind him of the good times in his life.

    There were good times. Father was always good to me in his own way.. I loved Obi?s mother as if she was my own and Ben..

    A mischievous half smile crept up on Owen Kenobi with the memory of his little step-brother.

    Things were always good between us even when he came here as little boy. He followed me like a shadow and I have to admit, I enjoyed being idolized as the big brother by him. Oh I wish I could take these last couple of weeks back restart them.. I can?t believe so much has happened in such little time and most of it bad.

    The smile left as Owen nestled in the pine branch bed, trying to ignore the occasional pricks and pokes he got from sometimes prickly pine needles. He needed the cover of darkness to travel but it was too cold out there and he also knew he needed the darkness of night to find some rest. It had been well over twenty-four hours since he?d closed his eyes. Sleep came swiftly The pine branches did a lot to break the wind and warm the boy?s body but nothing to warm his heart and soul. He fell into a restless sleep with thoughts of the past to soothe the inside while the pine branches kept him warm outside.
    #############
    Qui-Gon flung his arm out in front of Mace to halt his forward motion. The violent exhale of the council member's breath made Jinn realize he might had hit Mace in th
  23. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    jedi mischief and mayhem? I'm game ;)
  24. Altaira Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2002
    star 4
    Qui-Gon is determined to help the Rayosians. I liked Mace?s words but Qui did have a counter to each. :D

    Owen?s in for a waking surprise too. [face_laugh] Qui-Gon has been having a few bad days, he?s ready to vent. ;) It always good to flex the saber arm.
  25. SarkaVrae Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2004
    star 5
    jedi mischeif & mayhem sounds like a lot of fun, at least to watch-I don't imagine I'd want them to do any of it against me ;)

    great post! :)
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