Beyond - Legends Be Careful What You Wish For (UPDATED: Finished!!!) AU around 12 ABY Luke, Mara & others

Ha! I bet I can write this story with such a touching Luke /Callista story line that ginchy will relent and shine it up! Who wants to bet?

My sons tried to help me with the ending of this story...but every scene they thought up involved sledge hammers and chainsaws...and I don't think what they wanted to do to R2D2 was very nice.

Anyway, thank you everybody for reading. I will work on the ending.

 

ROFL!!!

 

rofl rofl rofl! Okay that settles it! JL, you're the undisputed queen of comedy and silly on these boards.

 

There are seriously not enough words or emoticons to express the feeling I have for this story. Just when you think that this fandom couldn't get any better, you go and do a Farscape on it and turn it upside down! CALLISTA is ARTOO!! I cannot fathom the brilliance or the hilarity.

The part about the moaning sound Artoo now makes when Luke is erm, polishing it, had me literally hoot with laughter and scare my cat. I'm more worried about what will happen to Arto once Voidy McForceloser is ejected.

All I can say is thank you for sharing this.

 

Mara rang the door indicator for the Solo residence. She was about to leave Coruscant on a run for Karrde when she received a cryptic call from Han Solo asking her to meet him at his apartment. Han said he couldn't tell her what crisis had occurred over an unsecure comlink?which was probably wise. She was pretty sure this was about Luke and the holopress would have a field day over Skywalker?s Man-Droid love situation

Han opened the door and quickly ushered Mara into the apartment. ?Thanks for coming.?

Mara was surprise to hear the nervous tone in Han's voice. She?d heard him angry, cocky, jovial?but rarely anxious. ?What is it this time Solo? Do you want me to install some?different type of attachment to Artoo this time??

?Don?t joke Mara, this is getting serious.?

The stress in Han?s voice stopped any further jibes she was going to offer. ?What happened now??

Han rubbed the muscles in the back of his neck. ?Things are getting out of hand with Luke and Artoo?I mean Callista.? He looked around nervously as if he expected a holo reporter to jump out from behind the curtains at any moment. ?I got a call from Wedge this morning. He said Luke was giving Artoo an oil bath over in the Rogue hanger.?

Mara shrugged her shoulders. ?So??

?He was in the bath with Artoo!?

Mara broke out laughing. ?What??

Han shook his head in frustration. ?I talked to Luke later and he said he did it as a joke.? Han rubbed a hand over his face and sighed. When he looked up at Mara she could see the stress etched in his face and the dark circles under his eyes.

?This is more serious than we thought, isn?t it??

Han walked over to the bar motioning Mara to follow him. He poured himself a drink and then held up the bottle. ?Do you want a shot.?

Mara shook her head. ?It?s a little too early for me.?

Han shrugged and then downed a shot and refilled his glass. ?Mara, Luke is the leader of the New Jedi Order and a very high profile representative of the New Republic. I would do anything for Luke, but I can?t sit by while he destroys his life. I know it's not fair that the holonet will mercilessly malign his image, but it will happen. Reporters love heroes, but they love publicly destroying them even more.?

?What can I do??

Han gazed at her steadily for a moment. ?Mara, Luke needs to realize what he's losing out on if he continues his relationship with Callista.?

?And that is?? Mara asked.

?Human physical contact.? Han said quietly.

Mara?s eyes narrowed. ?Solo, I hope you are not asking me to do, what I think you?re asking.?

?I?m talking about training. Ask him to help you with lightsaber training. He will never turn you down.?

Mara shook her head. ?I really don?t think sparring with me with lightsabers will tear him from his astromech soulmate.?

?True, true,? Han said. ?But maybe you can later on do some hand-to-hand training.?

Mara scoffed and turned to leave but stopped at Han's next words. ?I?ll pay you. Leia and I are desperate. We have 50,000 credits in the bank. It can be yours. Just spar with him. Do anything that will remind him what it?s like to have a real woman in his arms.?

Mara gave Han a scornful look. ?I don?t care how you explain what you want?it sounds to me like you?re offering credits in exchange for sex.?

?HAN SOLO!?

Mara and Han startled as they turned to see Leia walk into the room. Mara cringed at what Leia must think. She expected Han to start babbling explanations to try to pacify his fuming wife, but he looked more irritated at her disruption than anything else.

?Leia I am talking to Mara about Luke!?

The fury in Leia?s face melted away and she swiftly moved to Mara. ?Gods Mara, can you help us? Maybe not the way my husband is asking.? She turned and gave Han an icy glare. ?How dare you make such an indecent proposal?even if it was for Luke?s sake.?

Han threw up his hands. ?I didn?t, she interpreted it that way. I just want her to touch him in some innocent manner?and let him know that the female form is not easily replaced by cold steel.?

Leia nodded in approval. ?Mara

 

Oh dear god. I think Luke have might have actually lost it. If this doesn't get fix soon, Mara will catch Luke in bed with Callista-Detoo.

 

Where's Mark when you need him? Because Luke is wack-o.

 

He was IN the oil bath? Oye! I can only imagine the look on Wedge's face when he took all that in. I can only imagine he went back into his office and broke out a bottle of Whyren's.

And I think we all know what Han was asking of Mara.

 

This fic is making me kind of nauseous, and yet it's a train wreck I can't walk away from.


Um...congrats?

 

Oh. My. Word. This is going to get interesting, to say the least.

 

So glad this wasn't a one post.

 

This just keeps getting better and better. Onwards!

 

Luke has officially gone completely WACKO!!!!

 

Luke has lost his mind!

Han's paying Mara to make out with Luke?

 

No...that would be prostitution and writing that would probably be against forum rules. He just wants Luke to be around a sexy looking woman and remember that there is usually a physical aspect to any relationship. Anyway, Mara turned down the money. She only went along with the plan when she saw that Luke has gone totally WACKO! She couldn't let him become the joke of the universe.

Um...thank you...I think.

Thanks everybody for reading. I am working on finishing this up soon so it won't become another long drawn out story. I have thought of an ending that will make Callista fans and L/M fans happy. I'll start working on the next update now.

Thanks!

 

This is SO wrong... But reading it feels so right

I can't wait to see how you're going to fix this mess - Luke is obviously loosing his marbles!

 

Oh, - oh, - how could this get any funnier? !!! I don't know but it just did!

to the inventive authoress.

I can't wait for the great fix!

 

Gotta love a good crack!fic.

 

Just wondering... how is Threepio handling all this?

 

Thanks everybody. This last post is not really funny, but it is a way to make everybody happy...I think. Thanks for reading!

~JL~
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Mara paced nervously in the Palace gym. She didn?t know why she was doing this. It definitely wasn?t for any money. She was still irritated at Solo?s lewd suggestion. No matter how innocent he tried to play it off?his proposal was wrong.

She agreed to spar with Luke in the hopes of broaching the subject of Callista and talking some sense into the Jedi. Mara was absolutely certain that Luke?s grueling ordeal on the Eye of Palpatine had given him a form of post traumatic stress disorder. Oh, he might be in love?or at least think he is, but his infatuation with Callista was forged under severe mental duress. Mara was positive that after a few months he would start seeing the futility of their relationship, but by then the damage to his reputation might be beyond repair.

She looked down at her clothing and for a moment considered going back to her apartment and change into something more?modest. This morning she pulled on an outfit she had worn many times while working out. It was a formfitting black and red sports bra top and black low-cut lycra shorts. It was the exercise clothing she wore during her kickboxing classes. She liked it because it offered her maximum maneuverability?but, as she stood in the gym waiting for Luke, she also realized it also offered maximum skin exposure. Suddenly she became self-conscious.

She took an indecisive step towards the exit, but then stopped when she spotted Luke walking into the gym with a brilliant smile on his face and lightsaber in hand. ?Hey Jade.?

Mara smiled back nervously. Now that he was here she wasn?t sure if she could even go through with the talking part. She shouldn?t be interfering in the Jedi?s life.

?Hey, yourself.? She shot back trying to sound casual as her eyes traveled over Luke?s body. He was wearing a black tanktop over black nylon shorts. Her eyes paused at his arms and the impressive curve of his triceps. She never knew why she found that particular muscle sexy on a man?well that and a well toned backside?which Skywalker, as he began stretching his legs, appeared to also have.

Mara shook those thoughts out of her head. She was here to spar and hopefully talk, not ogle her friend?s firm buttocks.

?Are you warmed up?? Luke asked.

?I?m warm?? Mara muttered absently as Luke stretched his lower back by leaning backwards making his shirt ride up and giving Mara a glimpse of his tight abs.

He straightened up and smiled. ?What??

Mara was flustered. ?I?m warmed up.?

?Okay,? Luke said as he lit his lightsaber. ?Shall we begin.?
.
.
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Mara had to admit she was having fun. Nobody could work a lightsaber like Luke Skywalker. He moved with a grace of a dancer and the athletic ability of a gymnast. After about an hour Mara was getting tired, but Luke wasn?t even breathing hard.

?Stop, stop.? Mara said as she tried to catch her breath.

They both deactivated their sabers. Luke went over to the side wall and retrieved his and Mara?s water bottles. He walked over and handed the container to the redhead. ?You?re doing great. You?ve been practicing I see.?

Mara nodded. ?Yes, but only against remotes.?

Luke took a swig of water and then looked at her intently. ?You should come back to the academy.?

Mara almost rolled her eyes. It always came back to this argument. Well not this time. ?Would you like to do some hand-to-hand self defense training? I?m afraid Aves and Chin are useless to spar against. The biggest thing Chin wrestles with is a triple stacker Bantha burger and Aves won?t fight me because he said he doesn?t want to get beat by a girl.?

Luke laughed. ?Sure, I haven?t had much opportunity to work on that particular skill.? Luke pulled off his shirt and put it by the side wall along with his saber. Mara found herself temporarily mesmerized by the man. Obviously Luke?s workout routine at the

 

Callista was in Luke?s bedroom rolling back-and-forth in a droid version of pacing.




And she's so fickle. LMAO


Luke's on the rebound, Mara--but neither of them seem to mind. I'm sure like the real Callista nonsense they'll just put this all behind them, never to be brought up, except when Han's had too much Whyren's. LOL!!!!

 

Hehehe! Perfect ending. I thought it very fitting for Anakin to come save everyone.

But poor Artoo, is he going to remember all the stuff Luke did while Callista was in him?

 

Ha! I'm not asking you to do it, but tell me...did I end this fic in a way that a ginchy-shine could be possible? Or is it still a path you cannot follow?

Unfortunately, yes...unless he demands a memory wipe from Luke.

I guess Luke is a little on the rebound, but if I didn't do that this would end up as the never ending crackfic!

 

Really liked the ending.

Though, I hope things don't get awkward between Luke and Artoo from now on.

 

Yay! Icky Callista is gone!

I thought that R2 having mixed feelings about seeing Anakin was realistic.

R2 should know that Luke and Mara are doing something really important.

I spend a little too much time on fanfiction.net i think. Enough to no and then forget the rules of the JC Forums.