Saga Because I Love You. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. Angst, One Shot. Dark! AU & bring the tissues

Title: Because I Love You
Author(s): Valairy_Scot
Timeframe: Saga, after Naboo
Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn
Genre: Angst, AU
Keywords: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn
Summary: The night before Obi-Wan's knighting, Qui-Gon Jinn (who has survived Naboo) sees Obi-Wan's lonely future many years ahead, and decides to spare him so many years of heartache.
Notes: While finishing up my story
Tears of the Force (Book 1 now in Before the Saga, Book II to be in Saga in a few weeks), I had some bits and pieces of stuff that I had to cut, and they worked well in this vignette. Tears of the Force, by the way, does not kill off either Obi-Wan or Qui-Gon, the only connection between this and that is Ilum and Obi-Wan's visions of the future that we saw in ROTS and ANH.




Because I Love Him


It was all a mistake.

I mean, I truly did intend to do what I had just done. I just had not realized the consequences. It turned out to be a horrible mistake, and I had taken far more than I realized from Obi-Wan.

I took his hope.

I had done what I saw I needed to do, for I couldn?t stand to see my padawan, soon to be knighted apprentice, facing such a future. I loved him, my Obi-Wan, and had foreseen a great future for him, a bright light among the Jedi.

Tomorrow, he would stand by my side as a Knight.

Unspoken between us yet was which of us would apprentice young Anakin Skywalker, whom I believed to be the Chosen One. Obi-Wan was being knighted for defeating the Sith who had come close to relieving me of my life on Naboo. Force knows I wanted the boy, but I was getting older as the battle had served to remind me.

Obi-Wan was the future, as was Anakin. I thought to place the future in their hands, together. I had never been as happy as I was that night, even more pleased than Obi-Wan himself.

I should never have asked Obi-Wan about the visions he had faced in Ilum so many years ago, when he had constructed his first lightsaber. He had obviously passed through them, but he had been scarred by them, for when the thirteen year old boy had returned to me, he moved as if in a dream.

He had shivered as we left the planet behind, and disappeared. Once I had the course set, I had gone to find him. He was shivering in a corner and his eyes were blank with misery and pain.

Those jeweled eyes that shone with the light of the Force were now dark and haunted by something, deep within their depths.

?I?m going to be so alone?why will be I so alone? I don?t want to fail the Force,? he had said, lips quivering, and had thrown himself into my arms. He would not speak further of his vision.

I had watched him for a long while after our return, for he didn?t want to be alone even in our quarters. I could sense an ache of loneliness that was far deeper than I could possibly imagine, and such grief that my own heart was about to break. Out of desperation, I had told my padawan that he would never be alone, for the Force would always be with him.

He had looked at me for the longest time, then he nodded and a slight smile broke over his face. He had needed that reminder and it had brought my Obi-Wan back to me.

We had never spoken of that again, and he had seemed to put it behind him, had learned how to smile again.

Now, this evening before his knighting, he was deep in meditation and I sensed him struggling to accept something. I went to stand by him, and placed my hand on his shoulder, and I was drawn into a vision of his future with him.

My Obi-Wan was much older, and yet I knew he wasn?t as old as he appeared to be. My padawan, who deserved such a bright future, had been stripped of love, companions and friendship, a gentle soul forever alone and haunted by inconsolable sadness.

An Obi-Wan who thought he had failed, but still struggled on through each day.

Yes, I saw then what the future held for my Obi-Wan, the long lonely years, alone with bitter

 

Wow, I didn't expect that. Very interesting story. Qui-Gon kills Obi-Wan to relieve his suffering, but just causes more suffering. An unique take on Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan - nice job.

 

I didn't get a PM about this, did I? You know to PM whenever you post something!

This was gorgeous!

And I, who loved him, who had killed him, fell to my knees, a broken man holding his dead body. The stab that had taken Obi-Wan?s life had only wounded me. I was only dead in heart and mind.

?Forgive me?? I murmured, kissing his face and hugging his lifeless body to me, feeling the chill of death steal over that loving soul now set free. ?I love you.?

I rocked on the ground, with my beloved Obi-Wan dead in my arms. The light in the galaxy would be extinguished some years hence. The light in my personal galaxy had already gone out.

Darkness reigned.

And all because - I loved him.

The ending simply blew me away!

 

Darkness reigned.

And all because - I loved him.




Same could be said for Padme and Anakin.

I really enjoyed reading this. The emotion you put into this was what made it so heartbreaking. The "what if" questions involved are what makes this AU great.

 

Whoa - that was intense.

Very nicely written

 

Slow_dawn: An unique take on Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan - nice job. Yeah, I was playing around with some discarded sentences and all, and I suddenly wondered - what if Qui decided to spare Obi-Wan all that pain and anguish? I also did it cuz I've only killed Obi-Wan once before this, and I don't plan on doing it again (though one never knows).

VaderLVR64: The ending simply blew me away! Preens self - you know, I think I write a darn good ending myself. Best part of the story, sometimes.

Starfighter5: I really enjoyed reading this. The emotion you put into this was what made it so heartbreaking.
Thank you, writing I guess is my emotional outlet. I like to let them all hang out in fiction.

Kelia: Glad you found it intense - writing it was, too.

Healer_Leona: Very sad indeed. I'm playing with a story where dead Qui ghostie tells Obi-Wan about being a candle to light the dark. Combining that with leftovers from another story and voila!

 

I did not see that one coming.

Very sad, Qui-Gon wanting to spare Obi-Wan the suffering yet betraying him in the process.

There's a depth to it that we see every time we read/write about time, destiny and infinity...

Great work

 

With his dying breath, Obi-Wan looked into my eyes one last time, and spoke words that twisted my heart. Now I knew it was I who failed; I who had failed the Force, and I who would have to live with that knowledge.

?You have killed hope,? he whispered, and then I saw what he had known deep inside, why he didn't protest his fate.

His years of suffering and pain were a price he had been willing to pay, for it would have brought his killer?s son to save his killer, and thus the galaxy ? the man who would be as a brother to him and who would turn on him.

Obi-Wan saw that hope, that redemption, die with him. He would now die thinking that he had failed the Force. The guardian to the Chosen One and to his son would not guide them to their destinies ? his destiny. Because of me.

It is such a cruel irony for Qui-Gon, seeking only to spare Obi-Wan from pain, to hear that he has "killed hope."

Maybe "Never Think That You Know Best" should be the subtitle!

Sorry, but this viggie didn't bring me to tears. It actually made me smile!

Maybe now you can see why I must consider myself a Sith!

Thanks for the link!

Star

 

Wow. Both because of what happened and this great vig.

I really did not see that. Part of the reason why I loved it.
That was shocking. Great job, I really loved Qui-Gon's emotions, how they
change so quickly as he realizes what he's done.

Great job!

 

Wow, that was incredibly intense. From the beginning I knew what was going to happen, but it was just so stinking PAINFUL to read it! Qui-Gon has quite a bit of RotS Anakin in this, doesn't he? Darkness reigned... because I loved him (or her, as the case may be). I liked it, very much. *continues crying* Ooooh, boy. This death was so beautiful, and so wrong, but so right. *heavy sigh* And it makes so much sense understanding Qui-Gon's character. *whimpers*

Now. About those two fics you spoke of earlier? I am officially a sucker for Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan... and I would adore a pm for this upcoming book, porfavor. I'm really looking forward to a Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan SAGA (eeeeh!) fic from you. Don't see enough of them.