Beyond - Legends Before I Lose You (J/NY ANGSTY one-shot. You've been warned.)

Title: Before I Lose You
Author: Vongchild
Era: Post NJO (AU)
Genre: ANGST
Couple: J/NY
Notes: Well, I?m finally breaking away from the OSAL timeline to do something unrelated in the ?ship. It?s an Angst!bunny I've had for a while, bugging me and nibbling on my ears. So I finally wrote it. And don't say I'm attacking my own laws of Yuuzhie Genetics. OSAL isn't Canon. And this is probably more realistic, anyways.

Before I Lose You

Nen Yim?s hands were numbly draped around a mug of tea. Her eyes were fixed unfocused on the wall. Jacen sat next to his wife, his eyes just as expressionless, his hands just as unmoving around a mug long gone cold. The house was too quiet, he thought bitterly. This time, six months ago, he and Nen Yim had both believed that there would be a child in their lives sometime soon.

But, he reminded himself, they had been foolish to believe that.

Three other times they had believed that, and three other times their hopes had been crushed by nature; by the pure fact that there was only a one in ten chance that the genetics would align correctly.

Nen Yim had taken the most recent loss especially badly. In exchange for her hyper-tuned immune system that she had developed as a shaper, she had been consciously aware of every miniscule movement of the child. Her shock at the loss had been debilitating.

Six months.

The house shouldn?t have been quiet.

Jacen opened his mouth to speak, but only a dry sound emerged. Nen Yim pushed her mug away and stood up.

?Jacen,? she said softly. ?These last two months??

?You didn?t say anything,? he interrupted when she trailed off. ?Why??

?Because I knew the chances were slim,? she replied. ?And I was right. Unfortunately. I thought that if I didn?t tell you again, if I just dealt with it on my own? I?ve seen how upset you get every time??

?It hurts you more,? Jacen replied.

?I?m strong,? replied Nen Yim. ?I can?? she faltered. Jacen pushed his chair away from the table and stood in front of her, drawing her close in an embrace. Closing his eyes and reaching out with the force, he found a small, flickering light within the familiar void.

Just to meet you, before I lose you, he thought, wrapping his force presence gently around it, trying to hold on. It was no use. The light flickered. Smaller. And smaller. And smaller.

Until, finally, there was nothing left to hold on to.

Fin.

 

Aww man! That's so sad, no wonder why you wouldn't let me see it! You are evil! Evil! Evil! Evil! *rereads* Wait... she's dead?!

 

No, Dev.... Geez.

Yeah, that's exactly why I wouldn't show you. Because you'd try to talk me out of it.

 

I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry.

Almost didn't make it.

Excellent vignette here... very sad, but I liked it.

 

AlisonC- there's nothing to be ashamed of in crying.

Thanks.

 

Nooooooo!
Somehow I love the idea of Jacen and Nem Yim. But their child.... They deserve a child!

 

Leona - I've found that since I so *rarely* write tearjerker angst I *have* to warn people. Because more of my readers are *such* happy people. [/face_dripping_with_sarcasm] And you say you don't know J/NY! I've seen you in every J/NY fic on the boards!

Chilla- I've given them one in every other J/NY fic I've done. I felt I had might as well be realistic for once. It's very plausible that an interspecies couple would run into dificulty in this area.

Don't worry, Nen! You'll get it someday!

 

Oh no, I loved it! I would never talk you out of something.

 

That was beautiful. Sad, of course, but wonderfully written.

 

whoa...

wasn't sure how I felt about the NY/J ship before...but this was tragically incredible. very well done, almost got me to cry too...

 

I won't really venture out of my territory for j/ny, but i liked this one.

BettyBug

 

JoE- Thanks!

Tk-421 - Another satisfied customer. So, have I nearly converted you?

BettyBug - Aw, but J/NY sooo blows J/TK out of the water! (Actually, though I don't admit it much, I'm very tolerant of J/TK, being a shipper of it myself sometimes.) Thanks!

 

if my opinion amounts to a hill of beans, j/ny just splashes j/tk. But hey, i ship j/z too against the odds.

Will we be expecting anything else?

BettyBug

 

LOL. Actually, I've got a few other plot bunnys in development in addition to a full-lengther already posted. (Of Scars and Love, aka OSAL. there's a link in the co-authored section of my fics page, the link to which you may find in my profile.)

 

I am all teary eyed now. I thought I had lost a child once and the process was... awful. To know and feel one move inside you and then lose her... three? times? How horrible!

I love the understated agony you wrote. No dramatics, just quiet and very profound sorrow.

Well done.

 

Z- I'm sorry I've made you cry. (I've realized my angst has that affect on people. ) And actually, four. Wait, no, five! I'm more like Lusa_thul every day - I rag on her for beating Lusa and Raynar with the angst!stick, and then look what I turn around and do!

It's all terribly quiet....

 

I'm sorry if I sounded angry or soemthing like that. But I was very sad about it. My mother has also lost one child, about 1 year before my little brother came. Although I was very young, about 6 years old or even less, I was very sad. And the pregnancy with my brother was a risk - my mother was already 40.

 

No, you didn't sound angry.

 

Lovely, lovely, VC! Sorry its taken me so long to get around to this! Been busy, as you've heard! Great job! Short but sweet! I'm still not converted, but I won't nind reading more of these!

 

Lusa - resistance is futile...

 

I should be working on "The Past as Another Land"... But I'm procrastinating instead.

 

Up?

 

I can't believe it, you killed their child! *goes after VongChild with a bat* But seriously, it was beautiful!

 

Vc: " " ... but, that said, it was very well-written....

I'm impressed with the way you balanced the 'fic around two little insights through their different senses - her physical awareness and his Force-sensitivity - and in doing so, captured both the differences between them, and their fundamental similarity...

It was beautiful. Precious. Peaceful, somehow. I'm not sure what I can say more than that.

Kudos.

- The Imperial Ewok