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Saga Bent But Never Broken 2nd drabble added - Satine, now

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Valairy Scot, Feb 2, 2013.

  1. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2005
    (Drabbles for those who don't know are 100 word "stories")

    Title: Bent But Never Broken
    Author(s): Valairy_Scot
    Timeframe: Clone Wars
    Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi
    Genre: Drabble
    Keywords: Obi-Wan Kenobi
    Summary: Obi-Wan has lost another dear to him; he left without his mission sanctioned by the Council or Senate - and he failed.

    Soon I will raise my head and face the gaze and judgment of my fellow Council members: without regret at my actions but oh so much regret in my heart. I left without word; I left without permission – and left without yet another piece of my heart.

    Qui-Gon, Cerasi, Satine : those I’ve loved and those whom I was unable to save. Who or what is next?

    Not Anakin! Not Ahsoka, not the Republic, not the Order itself. Have I not accepted enough losses? Please, no more: I have too little heart left to lose.

    Unless the Force wills otherwise.
     
  2. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 21, 2006
    A nice piece. Will you continue in the drabble challenge?
     
  3. leiamoody

    leiamoody Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 8, 2005
    Very awesome drabble. It perfectly reflects Obi-Wan's grief.
     
  4. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Force Ghost star 7

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Amazing and poignant. @};- If this continues, please tag. [:D] !!!
     
  5. serendipityaey

    serendipityaey Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 24, 2004
    :_| So many warring emotions, each touched on wonderfully. Incredibly impressive to do this in a drabble
     
    Jade_eyes likes this.
  6. Luna_Nightshade

    Luna_Nightshade Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jan 25, 2006
    Poignant picture of Obi-Wan's feelings. =D=
     
  7. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2005
    Earlybird: I guess I need to go back to that thread and see how it's set up. So, maybe.

    Leimoody: Thank you. "Awesome" - preens.

    Jade_eyes: I wasn't planning to continue, but when the muse calls...thanks for asking for a tag. Mucho appreciated.

    Serendipityaey: Someone as wordy as me ([face_laugh]:_|) needs to explore brevity once in a while. Thanks so much.

    Luna_Nightshade: Thanks.

    I really tried not to go overboard with Obi-Wan's emotions yet show he is not immune to them. Sounds like it worked.


    Satine:

    I look upon the face of my beloved, my dear Obi-Wan as death steals close. Oh, my dear, so much has separated us but now we are united in pain. Your eyes, my dear, I have always loved your eyes and now they hold so much silent meaning, so much unvoiced love.

    Some loves are just never meant to be. Ours is not emblazoned across the stars nor wrapped in a band around our fingers.

    Your arms and your love enfold me and I grow warm within even as I grow cold without: no better place within which to die.
     
  8. serendipityaey

    serendipityaey Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 24, 2004
    Aw, comfort in her coldest moment, nicely put
     
  9. leiamoody

    leiamoody Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 8, 2005
    Perfect, perfectly stated line here. It reflects the truth about Obi-Wan and Satine and the borders of their relationship.
     
  10. ruth baulding

    ruth baulding Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Sep 3, 2012
    :_|
    And in the words of so many Shakespearian heroines... "I die."
    And as for 100 word pithiness, I wil quote Dooku. "Impressive. Most impressive."
     
  11. Alexis_Wingstar

    Alexis_Wingstar Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2006
    You got Satine's voice perfectly.

    Both drabbles were very poignant.
     
  12. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Force Ghost star 7

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Wow! Very touching! =:D @};-
     
  13. Eryndil

    Eryndil Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 18, 2012
    You've caught the emotions and the characters really well in so few words - great job.

    And this:

    "Please, no more: I have too little heart left to lose.

    Unless the Force wills otherwise."

    Ah flip, that's just so... :_|
     
  14. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 21, 2006
    A perfect view on Satine so fitting to the first drabble
     
  15. Luna_Nightshade

    Luna_Nightshade Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jan 25, 2006
    Poignant and very sad, brooding drabble in Satine's voice. I liked your description of their relationship and how it is different than most. A sad punch in the gut. Beautiful drabble.
     
  16. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2005
    leiamoody:
    Thanks! It is a far "quieter" relationship, much deeper than friendship and far beyond "passion" although I think had the moons aligned right, Satine might have taught Obi-Wan a thing or two about "passion." :D

    serendipityaey: if you got to die, what better way to die than in Obi-Wan's eyes, looking up at his beautiful eyes and proclaiming your undying love?

    ruth baulding: What do I owe you again? ;)

    Alexis_Wingstar:
    I like the sound of that - "perfectly." Thanks! Am I nuts, or am I seeing you around the boards more frequently again?

    Jade_eyes:
    Thanks - and for the flowers, too.

    Eryndil:
    Yup,Obi-Wan gives in to a bit of human plea for all this to end, then pulls himself back into Jedi-mode.

    earlybird-obi-wan:
    Thanks!

    Luna_Nightshade: Aw, you're always so full of compliments - thanks.


    Maul coming up, once I dredge up both the pieces and fit them together. [face_laugh]