Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated Sept 20, 2011 - Complete

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by dianethx, Mar 16, 2003.

Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. dianethx Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Shaindl- Thank you so much for saying that you like my fic. Comments are like air to me - I need them to breathe.

    And how very like Qui-Gon to tell his Padawan not to contact him because it might bring him trouble Yes, Qui-Gon said that to Obi-Wan in the original story "But". I thought it needed to be emphasized here since Obi-Wan feels soooo very guilty about the whole situation. It's not as if he can do anything about it - he is thwarted at every turn but that just makes the guilt greater. I have always loved the Qui/Obi pairing and they have such a rich and deep relationship that it makes for great fic (even when things go wrong - oh, all right, especially when things go wrong).

    Yes, it appears that the Jedi Order has sunk pretty low but not low enough. That's in the next several chapters....I would imagine that this is how the Sith came into being - a war over power and control and right now the Sith are winning...

    I liked the cells. I was hesitant about them - I thought that my descriptions were a little subtle but obviously I was wrong. Good... because I didn't want to go over the top, just interject enough to make you feel Obi-Wan's psychological pain without it being too intense and turning people off.

    You probably won't see Qui in the next posting but definately in the one after. Hope you like how I portray him. The next post will be tomorrow. There is a bit of a brief homage to TPM. Remember that "But" takes place about 6 months before TPM timewise and we are now in the AOTC timeframe.

    Bye for now.



  2. dianethx Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    And, now as promised, the beginnings of Chapter 5....

    Chapter 5 - Old friends long gone

    The two day flight to Naboo proved to be a boon to the weary Jedi. With no badgering sycophants, no cryptic admonishments for proper behavior and no life-threatening stops along the way, there was finally time to rest, a surprising gift after the exhaustion of endless missions.

    "There you are, Padawan." Obi-Wan wore a slight grin as the still bleary-eyed Atel moved into the common area of their tiny accommodations. "I was wondering when you were going to get up. You've been asleep almost a full day and there is much to discuss."

    She just grunted in response and moved to get some juice from the table. "Master, how is it that you always seem so...awake in the morning?" Admittedly, when Atel finally awoke from her dreamless sleep, she had not been eager to vacate her comfortable bed. It had been so long since she could revel in anything so luxurious, so decadent. But immovable duty called and so she sought out her Master.

    He shook his head in fond remembrance. "You think I get up early? You should have seen Master Qui-Gon; he was always up with the dawn."

    The mention of that former Jedi brought a quick frown to Atel's features but she turned her head so that Obi-Wan could not see it. She was still uncertain as to how to take her Master's assertions that Jinn was no rogue. Could all of her teachers have been so wrong? Could the histories be false? She knew that Master Obi-Wan would never consciously deceive her but he could be mistaken. Loyalty could beguile and twist perception into lies especially when his bonds with Master Jinn were so powerful. She would have to wait and see. She clenched her jaw, for just a second. *I will have to be strong if he cannot. I just hope it will not come to that.*

    Schooling her features into one of calm concern, she looked towards the datapad, lying loose in his grasp, asking. "Maybe you should tell me about the information on former Master Jinn. I assume that it is complete."

    He snorted at that and frowned. "No, it is not."

    Tossing it to his apprentice, she grabbed it neatly out of the air and sat down to read.

    The information on the life and times of the former Jedi Master, one Qui-Gon Jinn, was frustratingly brief. For the first few months, he had been tracked incessantly, every job, every conversation monitored; it wouldn't do for a Jedi, even one dismissed from the Temple, to be behaving inappropriately. Discarded, yes but not unnoticed, Qui-Gon had gone from menial job to slightly shady dealings back to menial job. Finally, he obtained a position with the Naboo security forces and was moving up the ranks when, as per Temple policy, the half-year investigation ceased and Qui-Gon Jinn dropped out of sight.

    He showed up again eight years later, a successful businessman, residing in the hill country of Naboo. Going off-world several times a year for supposedly "mercantile" dealings, there were instances of spikes and ebbs in his cash flow accounts, unexplained and undocumented. He gave heavily to something called the "Bendu Philosophical Group", to the "Abolitionist Union" and the "Rescue Relief Fund" but also to many other charities, legitimate or otherwise. In addition, he had been called upon by several influential Outer Rim groups to negotiate disputes, not a bad thing in of itself, but hovering close to that of the Jedi's fiercely protected mandate. More damning was the gathering of several force-sensitive individuals within his sphere of influence, potential problems if they decided to band together and challenge the Jedi Order's place within the Republic and the powerful Senate. The Council did not take kindly to any threat, however insignificant, and these small coincidences were enough to warrant an investigation.

    Obi-Wan paced as his apprentice sat quietly and absorbed the information. He knew that there was not enough evidence on that datapad for outright condemnation of his former Master. Point of fact, there was little rea
  3. Dyanne_Kindred Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Nov 29, 2002
    Have I forgotten to say how much I enjoy this story?! Well I do!

    I tend to have a one track mind sometimes.

    It is good to see Obi back to his old self. He had me worried there for a while... Although I am making plans to have some of those cheapstakes at the Senate put away.

    :: Did I say that aloud? No matter. ::
  4. LuvEwan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Fantastic post, diane. :D

    What a great detail, that Qui-Gon would give to various charities. [face_love] And excellent way to slip Anakin & Padme into the story.. ;)

    Obi-Wan's character is beautiful and compassionate, perfectly done.

    Can't wait for more.

    (And thank you for the responses to my fic. :cool: )
  5. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    I wrote a long reply this morning, but it didn't go through, and right after that, the boards went down. Argh! :(

    Let's see if I can remember what I wrote.

    *I will have to be strong if he cannot. I just hope it will not come to that.* Atel worries me a lot. What is strength? Sometimes it takes more strength to follow your instincts and leave an organization if you have the gut feeling that it's headed in the wrong direction. I think she wouldn't see it like that, though, because the idea that the Order could be wrong wouldn't have a chance of getting through to her, at least not yet. Maybe there's hope, though ...

    I like the way Qui-Gon is gathering Force-sensitive individuals into his so-called "sphere of influence". Why not? Where else would they go, after being dismissed from the Order? Why shouldn't they stick together? I'm sure the Council will be quick to dispense 'justice', though -- more than quick.

    No, there's no such thing as luck, otherwise I would say that it's lucky the nine-year-old boy is NOT at the Temple. Definitely the will of the Force there.

    And I really liked the way you portrayed Qui-Gon as being stoic and inscrutable on the outside, but with abiding affection and patience underneath. That's how I see him, too, and I get sad when people portray him as cold, unfeeling, and completely clueless.

    Poor Obi-Wan, betraying somebody no matter what he does. I'll bet he does hate the situation.

    More soon, please?
  6. Shaindl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Gack!

    I forgot to reply yesterday to your post. Brilliantly done, as I'm coming to expect from you. I'm glad Obi-Wan is finally opening up to his Padawan about his Master - I really can't wait for their first meeting.

    I also liked how you fit in Padme and Anakin. Will we be seeing them more in this story?

    Great work, Diane, can't wait for more!

    Shaindl
  7. JediNemesis Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2003
    star 4
    I only read the prequel to this (But) a couple of days ago, and I count myself lucky I didn't have to wait long for the sequel! :)
    Great writing - chapter 12 here I come...
  8. dianethx Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Dyanne_Kindred - hi again. I'm so glad that you are enjoying it. I also can have a one-tract mind - just ask my family as they try to get my attention as a scene is trying wildly to escape...LOL.

    As for taking out the cheapskates in the Senate, I think you'll have to wait in line. But, then, the Senate is so easy to manipulate as Sidious has found out. And you haven't seen the worst of it yet....

    LuvEwan - I'm glad you're still with me as we discover just how bad the Order can get.
    Yes, Qui-Gon gives to a lot of charities. You should look closer...
    I did enjoy adding the stuff about TPM. It made me laugh about the way Atel couldn't believe the history (kind of mirrored how a lot of fans felt about it).

    As for Obi-Wan, I adore the man just as much as I adore Qui-Gon. I much prefer the two together as a team but, unfortunately, this fic demands that they be at odds with each other.

    Your fic is great and I look forward to more. It always amazes me that some people can write so quickly and so well. Me, it takes forever.

    As for more, all of my readers have been great so I'll post the next part tonight and you'll get to meet Qui-Gon at last. Hope you like it...author hesitates and is thinking of running for the door once the next part is posted....
  9. dianethx Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Jane-Jinn - I totally understand the loss of an almost post. There you are, trying to finish your thoughts and get them out and - bam - the computer locks up and everything is gone. It has happened to me more than once!!!

    As I've said before, Atel is an unfortunate victim of her environment. If she had been raised at the same time as Obi-Wan, I think she would be seeing things very differently. But, this miasma of distrust and history manipulation had changed her and not for the better. She does need to be watched and Obi-Wan needs to teach her lessons that he has not realized yet that she needs to be taught. He will find out in this fic eventually.
    As for strength, I agree that there are times when you must let go and leave. However, people tend to stay in situations that some outsider would question their sanity. I think that both of our Jedi have this problem. Plus they are always exhausted so they aren't necessarily thinking too clearly.

    Yes, Qui-Gon's sphere of influence...You are so right. Where else would they go? Dismissed, almost penniless, the banding together of the former Jedi would be a boon to them. And, of course, the Council would only see it as a threat. Darn Council.

    Yes, Anakin was very lucky that he didn't go to the Jedi. He's much better off where he is.

    I portrayed Qui-Gon as I perceive him. There are lots of fics out there that choose to use him as the bad guy. I can't see it but, as long as the motivation is there, I can accept it. However, I adore Qui-Gon and try to write him always with compassion and respect (even when I'm torturing the poor guy).

    As for Obi-Wan, the man is caught between a rock and a hard place. He cannot win here and I'm sure the Sith love the irony.

    See, a long reply and the computer hasn't crashed yet...
  10. dianethx Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Shaindl - Thanks so much for your comment. Oh..."brillantly done" - I like that.
    Yes, it's about time that Obi-Wan opened up about his relationship with Qui-Gon. He felt so guilty over the years, never knowing what happened to his mentor, that he just couldn't speak of him. I hope you like the meeting between them. It will be interesting...and I will be introducing new characters as well as some old.

    Sorry to disappoint, but you won't be seeing Padme. I just couldn't fit her in but you can assume that Anakin has been seeing her from time to time (off the page). This fic is more focused on Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon and their relationship. Hope you aren't too unhappy about it....

    More coming up...

    JediNemesis - glad you could drop by. I know it was torture for some of my readers, especially when I continued to say that I would NOT write a sequel to "But". I'm still not sure I should but I got lambasted by my friends at work and my own daughter as well as my listsibs on the QGJDL. So here we are.

    Chapter 12 is a ways off...we're still on 5 and if I posted everything I had so far, you'd be happy initially but then you'd have to wait 2-4 weeks between each post. I'm sure you don't want to do that....do you?
  11. dianethx Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Here's the second and third parts of Chapter 5. Hope you won't kill me....



    The Jinn residence was located quite close to Naboo's secondary spaceport, an easy landspeeder ride over gently dappled hills. As they approached, Obi-Wan Kenobi could not help but admire the serene loveliness of the place. Colored in rich honeyed tones, low and rambling, the stone house was wrapped in a blossom-covered porch, feathery trees kissing the gleaming slate roof. Several windows peeped through the green shrubbery, reflecting the blued, ice-capped mountains in the distance. Everywhere, the air was incredibly fresh and scented with flowers, delicious and relaxing. It made him envious for a moment but he hastily shook off the unnerving feeling.

    As soon as the speeder powered down, Kenobi told his apprentice to scout out the area. He planned to meet with Master Qui-Gon alone, to gauge his reactions to this intrusive "visit". When he was more comfortable with the setup, he would contact her. The Padawan nodded and scampered away towards the larger outbuildings. Obi-Wan remained behind, patiently waiting for his former Master to appear, discovering for himself just what reception he could expect after all these years. He didn't have long to wait.

    "Hello, Obi-Wan."

    Kenobi closed his eyes for a brief moment, then pivoted slowly, the sound of that calm, beloved voice triggering a myriad of stunning memories, bright flashes of intense imagery cascading through his mind, Bandomeer, Telos, Qui-Gon laughing, screaming at him to get down as blaster bolts twanged past, gentle smiles, severe frowns, that last horrible day on Coruscant. It was too overwhelming, the emotions of a lost lifetime. Obi-Wan knew he must regain control and so he brutally suppressed the thoughts with an almost audible snap. He swallowed hard, finished his turn and stood there in typical Jedi stance, lifting his troubled eyes to the man that had once meant everything to him - Qui-Gon Jinn, his former Master.

    The years had been kind to Qui-Gon. Brown and silvered hair still cascaded down his broad shoulders and he remained bearded, but there was a lightness of being in his clear blue eyes, his body straight and tall. He was not dressed in Jedi robes now, but in a comfortable blue tunic and leggings, slightly stained from kneeling in the soil. Qui-Gon's hands were covered in dirt, a smudge on his cheek, but he seemed very content, at ease with the universe. Seeing Obi-Wan's face, he broke into a broad smile.

    "It's so good to see you again." Jinn strode forward, impossibly fast, and Obi-Wan was abruptly enveloped in a ferocious hug. The moment seemed forever as Obi-Wan eagerly leaned into the embrace, remembering the warmth and spirit that was uniquely Qui-Gon. His breath hitched once as he blinked away sudden tears. Finally, reluctantly, Qui-Gon stepped back a bit, his large hands still grasping the shoulders of his former apprentice. Grinning as he studied Obi-Wan, his intense gaze faltered slightly as Jinn looked more closely. Obi-Wan knew that he wore the stoic Jedi facade well but there was an unsettling shadow to his manner, his mouth tightly compressed, his blue eyes hooded. He could not hide the unhappiness buried deep inside, not from his old Master.

    "Padawan, how I've missed you."

    "Hello, Master Jinn."

    "Obi-Wan, please. Not so formal. My name is Qui-Gon, in case you have forgotten." He teased, blue eyes twinkling.

    Stepping back, he wiped his large hands on his leggings and looked again at his former apprentice. Obi-Wan knew that Master Qui-Gon was remembering the last time he had seen him, ten long years before. Forced to leave the Temple, practically penniless, without friends or family, told to leave all behind, clothes, possessions, lightsaber, it had been a harrowing time. But the most damning thing of all was having to abandon his apprentice. The loss of that relationship had hurt both men deeply; they were still paying the price.

    As Qui-Gon continued to scrutinize him, Obi-Wan realized that he co
  12. LuvEwan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    It really frightened me when you referred to Anakin as handsome--yuck!--but you quickly redeemed yourself, already calling him an idiot. [face_love] Hooray for diane! 8-}

    And it's funny, I never even imagined that Qui-Gon would be married when Obi-Wan found him. Especially with two children! How sweet! [face_blush] But I wonder how Obi-Wan will react to the family he has now, will he think he has been forgotten amidst Qui-Gon's intimacies.

    I love Obi's Padawan too. I'm glad she's so protective of him...but mostly because she doesn't like Anakin! [face_laugh]

    Wonderful post, diane. And don't sell yourself short. You write beautifully and orginally. You give us posts pretty quick, too.

    This is a fantastic story. You should be very proud.

    :D
  13. Shaindl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Hi Diane,

    No, not disappointed at all, I was just wondering. I'll be interested to see what you do with Anakin in this story. I'm glad that Qui was so welcoming - we'll see how long it lasts. Your descriptions of Naboo were just lovely; made me want to go camping! :D

    Great work, you're doing wonderfully, and I can't wait to meet Qui's wife and child!

    Shaindl
  14. JediNemesis Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2003
    star 4
    Can't imagine where I got chapter 12 from - probably something else I was reading. Still, this is absolutely brilliant, and I can't wait to see how it all turns out.

    In response to LuvEwan : Ani IS handsome, at least in his manifestation as Hayden. But yes, he is an idiot, and a brat to go with it. :)

    Waiting for next post. Keep going, Diane!

    - JediNemesis :D :D
  15. LuvEwan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    HAVE to disagree there. Ewan could run circles and circles and circles around Hayden. 8-} Don't try to argue with me, because my opinion there is unshakeable! Hee hee. [face_blush]
  16. dianethx Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    LuvEwan - ummmmmm, will you still like my fic if I tell you that I think Anakin is cute? I hope so...I got to see Hayden at Celebrations II and he was adorable. Plus all my friends think I'm nuts that I actually like Anakin - somewhat creepy that he is. He is such an interesting character to write and I feel more sorry for him than anything else. However, fear not. This is not turning into an Anakin story. He is here for certain plot points (some pretty important ones) but the main focus is Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon!!!My two favorite Jedi!!!

    As for Qui-Gon being married, a lot of the early Jedi were married. Besides, the Order had been very clear when they told Qui-Gon that he was not longer Jedi. So why not? However, never fear again. This will not turn into a family affair either...

    As for Atel, she is very protective of Obi-Wan, even when she is wrong. LOL.

    I'm very glad you have stuck with me so far. Don't worry, there's lots more going on that I haven't even hinted at yet....and things can only get worse before they get better...right?

    Thank you so much for your support!!! It's made it very worthwhile. And because my readers have been so good, you will finally get to meet the family tonight...

    Diane
  17. Shaindl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Tonight? That means - gasp! - I won't be able to see it until Monday!

    How dare you tease me like that! :D

    Can't wait to read it, Diane!

    Shaindl
  18. dianethx Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Shaindl -Glad you are enjoying it so much. I loved Naboo especially the hill country. I was actually at Lake Como and it is as beautiful as the movie showed. I don't think that Lucas has to change very much at all!!!
    Yes, I tried to show the differences between the decay of the Temple and the living Force of the hill country. I'm glad it wasn't too over-the-top for you. And you're right. I'd love to go hiking in the mountains overlooking the Jinn farm.

    Qui-Gon was welcoming for a little while, wasn't he....you'll just have to see how long it lasts, especially with a family to protect.

    I'm glad you like it so much. And you get to meet the Jinn family tonight.

    JediNemesis I think that I mentioned that I had just finished writing Chapter 12 so that is why you might have thought it was here ...my fault. I'm trying to pace the posts so that you won't have to wait too long between them.

    Hayden was quite sweet at CelebrationsII, answered all the questions with serious intent (or humorous if it was). I heard that one young kid asked him about the Force and he answered it very seriously, just as a Jedi would do. I think maybe my experiences with Hayden may be coloring my reaction to Anakin.

    Glad you are enjoying it. Next post is coming right up!!
  19. dianethx Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Wow, you guys posted before my posts were up...LOL.

    LuvEwan - I have to agree that Ewan is quite gorgeous. I think I liked him best in AOTC when he was talking to Dexter. The twinkle in his eye was devastating!!! And a wet Ewan was something I really enjoyed! I still prefer him beardless.
    But I did like Anakin in the meadow scene when he was teasing Padme and he was really adorable in the (darn Lucas) deleted scene with Padme's relatives.
    However, have you seen the latest picture of Liam Neeson in a dress?!!! Apparently he was in a play for a single night yesterday(otherwise I'd be over there right now) - dressed in a 1860 gown and blonde wig - all 6ft4 of him. I burst out laughing. I usually think he's gorgeous but that was over the top.
    I did get to see Liam in the Crucible on Broadway - he is gorgeous in person plus I had 3rd row center seats and he took his shirt off and washed his face - the droplets trickling down his oh-my chest. I almost had a heartattack on the spot...

    Diane - needs to cool off....
  20. dianethx Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Okay, here is the rest of Chapter 5. It's relatively short but I will post Chapter 6 on Monday.

    And now the family...


    Obi-Wan pushed the front door open and entered a large common room, beautiful in its quiet elegancy. Two comfortable couches skimmed the far walls, a scattering of fabric covered chairs, a low table near the sofas - all denoted that this was the outward facade, the meeting place for guests and business clientele. Done in cremes and beiges, there were also bright splashes of color here and there; the pillows strewn on the couches, artwork of people and places hung on the walls, a shawl cast over one chair. There were clusters of flowers everywhere, done in simple designs that spoke of wealth and style.

    Beyond the far right doorway, a whoosh of running water and the soft undertones of voices beckoned him. But then the sounds turned strident and he paused, torn by the twin problems of letting Qui-Gon have the privacy he deserved and the mission-imperatives that Obi-Wan must follow. Duty won and he moved closer.

    A feminine voice rang out, troubled and angry. "Kenobi's here!?" The sounds turned sarcastic. "Well, about damn time. Ten years of ignoring you and he just waltzes in here without a word."

    "Le', please. Can't you just let it be, just for a little while? I've missed him. Now, he's here. Let's at least pretend he's here to see me."

    "So, now, it comes down to pretense. Qui, love, he's hurt you every day. I could see it in your eyes, hear it in your voice. I won't let him hurt you again." The sound of water stopped. "All right, all right, for your sake, I'll be civil." Soft noises and a heavy sigh. "Why is he here anyway? A mission?"

    "Not a visit, not after all this time. Look, I've left him out there. Go and be polite while I change... Polite, mind."

    Another sarcastic "Yes, oh wise Master."

    The sound of footsteps coming his way galvanized Obi-Wan to step back into the center of the common room. The woman who entered was about forty years old, tall, with braided waist-length red hair and piercing green eyes, relatively thin, although her waistline had begun to thicken with pregnancy. Le'orath Jinn was not beautiful, but striking in the classic sense, so much so that, after a moment's reflection, mere beauty would seem unimportant. She filled the space with her presence, her emerald eyes staring straight into the soul.

    "Knight Kenobi, welcome to our home. Please sit down." Her voice was pleasant, seemingly congenial as she gestured to one of the far couches.

    Obi-Wan bowed politely. "Thank you, Mistress Jinn." He sat quickly, his tattered brown robes pooling around him, and turned to his hostess. "You have a very lovely place here."

    She settled next to him and, smiling, reached for his hand. Taking it in her own, she squeezed gently at first but with increasingly painful pressure. She leaned over, still smiling, her eyes stone cold, and spoke quietly, so that her voice would not carry.

    "Listen to me, you miserable gundark. I don't know why you've come. I don't know why it took you ten years to get your worthless Jedi carcass here to visit him. And, by the Gods, I certainly don't know why he still loves you like a son. But I swear to you, if you hurt him again, I don't care who you are - Jedi Knight, Republic representative, Supreme Chancellor, I don't care. I will hunt you down and destroy you. Do you understand me, Jedi?"

    With that, she let his hand go and he shook it slightly to help circulation return. At first, her words had filled him with astonishment but the shame soon followed. *Coward... Kenobi, you should have tried harder.* It was clear that she loved Qui-Gon very much. To threaten a Jedi so was not to be taken lightly.

    "I understand, Mistress Jinn. Perhaps more than you know."

    He turned to say something else, maybe reassure her but at that moment, Qui-Gon returned. Dressed now in white shirt and dark-blue leggings, commanding and tall, he almost looked like a pirate or mercenary. Behind him stood a child, about four y
  21. LuvEwan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Awwwwww! I love little kids! How cute! 8-}

    And now, I'll reply seriously. [face_blush]

    THANK YOU for painting Qui-Gon's wife as a real woman, instead of some rail thin, gorgeous thing. You see that constantly in fics, and it just lowers the realistic feeling for me. You've written her as pretty, but in a 'classic' way, which is wonderful. ;) And I couldn't help but feel a twinge of pain for Obi, seeing his Master with his blood son. Obi's a strong man, but jealous is a powerful foe.

    And what's with the boy's dream!? [face_shocked] Take Qui-Gon away? Whoa.

    It's getting real good, diane.

    And I can't believe you got to see Liam Neeson, shirtless and wet! I hate you! :mad: ... ;) I loved the scene at Dex's too. His face just looked so soft, and his eyes never looked more beautiful...except for maybe in Moulin Rouge. 8-} Both men are to die for...

    But I'm sorry, I have yet to see Anakin as attractive. Ewan liked him, which probably means he's okay personality-wise, but he's just not my type. Everyone thinks I'm weird, cuz I don't go for the tall, young men, opting for those much older than me, and not so tall. I don't get that strange a reaction about Ewan, most of the time, but when I mention I like Jack Nicholson, people just think I'm insane. [face_blush]

    **worries that diane is thinking the same thing. Runs off to hide, hoping I haven't lost a reader. **

    Sorry such a long reply, but your story just inspires me I guess. Wonderful, perfect, beautiful job. [face_love] Can't wait for more.
  22. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Ack, two busy days, and I miss two posts! Well, let me try to get in a reply before something else drags me away from the computer.

    I liked the description of Qui-Gon as comfortable, content, at ease with the universe. Life away from the 'new and improved' Jedi seems to have done him good. I couldn't help but compare him to Obi-Wan, who seems so tense and unhappy. Atel has never heard him seem so unsure of himself. What a contrast.

    I like the distant echoes of the Temple here on the estate, though; the rings and bars hanging from the high ceiling of the outbuilding, which would have been used for training exercises in the Temple, and the young man's hairstyle being reminiscent of a padawan haircut. Very interesting! I also liked the way he went from a 'quite good-looking' young man to a "brash idiot" in Atel's opinion as soon as he started in on the 'high and mighty Jedi'.

    And now we've got two people here facing off against each other, each determined to protect someone close to them. I can see the sparks flying already.

    So, Anakin thinks the Jedi are a threat, but Le'orath thinks Kenobi has just been ignoring Qui-Gon all these years? Hmm. Loved the sarcastic "Yes, o wise master." :D And the way she quietly threatened Obi-Wan, and he had to shake circulation back into his hand after she'd let go of it. Oooh, she sounds fiery! A worthy match for Qui-Gon, too, I think.

    Loved the way Qui-Gon teased his son, too; I always thought he'd be good with kids. Saddening to hear that Obi-Wan had had to help out in the creche because most of the staff had been dismissed. Good way of sneaking that detail in there. But, oh dear, what's this? The boy is not just Qui-Gon's son, but also a Force-sensitive child who is convinced that Obi-Wan is going to take Qui-Gon away? "Out of the mouths of babes ..."

    Here's seconding LuvEwan's thoughts about Le'onath as a real woman. Good job!

    And let me agree that the scene in Dex's Diner was where Obi-Wan looked the best in AOTC, unless it was that part on Kamino where he said "That's why I'm here."
  23. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Oohhh... a reason to cross over to "the saga" board!! A surviving Qui-Gon... yay!!

    The Jedi Temple downsizing.... what a horrendous thought, though I suppose no more so then what happened with Palpatine just out and out destroying them. Sidious and Maul were extremely gruesome.. *shudders* the scene of Obi-Wan in front of the Council (?), noting on how they're dressed is depressing and irritating that more Jedi have realized the same thought "Perhaps because they want us to fail"

    I do wonder, what's become of those that were the Jedi Council during Qui-Gon's time... certainly what's become of Yoda?? The description of the Temple, falling into disrepair is disheartening.. though I very much enjoyed Obi-Wan's relating his meeting his master the first time!! :D :D

    Now I don't think Atel deserved her Master's wrath for pointing out why she thought he hated his former Master... and calling him a rogue is only what she's heard over the years... I wondered what he may find in the gardens... no gardens :( :(

    The question is - why are they lying about it?" -- I agree the why would shine a big light on all the happenings of late.

    Hmmm, I suppose it's only natural that Atel believes her Master's idea of Qui-Gon is incorrect, I'm as curious as seeing her meet the man as Obi-Wan.. I do wonder exactly what Qui-Gon is doing to bring the wrath of ... can't say the Jedi for that is what they no longer are... down on him. Like Jane, I worry over Atel's thoughts that she needs to be strong is her master cannot be....

    The reunion of Qui and Obi was fabulous!!!! And I was as shocked as Obi with the family... though it would be like Qui-Gon to have one. Hmmm... I suppose I'm not entirely surprised that Anakin is at the farm... though I'm rather liking him for once. Aanyone who'd be so protective of Qui-Gon is ok in my books!! :D :D

    Can we say wow at Mistress Jinn's bluntness with Obi-Wan!!! And Ben... love that he named his son Ben, having vision of Obi-Wan taking him away??? Oh dear...

    This is a fantastic thread Diane and I look forward to more... plus I've got to go look for But..

    A bit late but, post often, post soon...
  24. dianethx Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    LuvEwan - Yes, I got to see Liam. He was superb in the role of John Proctor. I really don't like the play the Crucible and I've seen quite a few plays and musicals on Broadway but he did out-and-out the best acting job I have ever seen and I'm not just saying that because he was Liam. The play was done brilliantly but I was in complete awe of his skill. Obviously, his skill doesn't translate nearly as well onto film as it was on stage. If you ever get the chance to see him in person, do it!!!

    And Ewan was gorgeous in a couple of scenes. I do prefer him with dark hair aka Christian, though. It brings out the blue in his eyes. He was superb in Moulin Rouge.
    Actually Hayden looks good in black hair as well (from Life as a House) and I loved what he did in that movie.

    Yes, we all have our tastes and they certainly vary...Jack Nicholson....hummm. No, I'm not going to say you're insane. He's just not my cup of tea. Good actor, though.

    And, now onto other things...
    To me, Qui-Gon needed a woman capable to standing up to him and yet one that could love him without reservation. I, too, am tired of the rail-thin women described in the fics but I wanted Le'orath to be more realistic. She is fiercely protective of her family as is Anakin. I did write her with red hair and green eyes because I always wanted to be that way...LOL.

    As for Ben, he is cute..most 4 year olds are. But he has a very strong Force presence and a gift that daddy Qui-Gon is anxious to protect. You'll see...
    I didn't want you to think, however, that Ben will be the focus. He will not. He will show up from time to time as the plot demands...

    Yes, take Qui-Gon away....hummmm. Is Ben right? You'll just have to wait and see....

    Next post will be up on Monday. Thanks for all your feedback. It's been great.


  25. dianethx Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    JaneJinn -Sorry I didn't get back to you as quickly as I would have liked. Real life and all...

    Qui-Gon is comfortable with his new life. He is well-loved, believes in what he is doing. His dismissal from the Order was the best thing that ever happened to him as opposed to Obi-Wan who is tense,unhappy and questioning everything that he is doing. Yes, it was meant to be a contrast and will continue to be so for some chapters yet.

    Actually, this relates a great deal to real life since when there are large layoffs, the people left behind are often worse off than the ones who are gone.

    I like the distant echoes of the Temple here on the estate - I thought that someone from the Temple would bring their memories and environment with them to some extent - from the rings used for exercise to the "Padawan" hairstyle.

    As for Anakin, I tend to be much more sympathetic to him than most on the boards (as you know from reading Draigon's Lair). He is very protective of Qui-Gon but still retains his brash energy. He needs to learn to keep his emotions in check, he has great power, but I think with Qui-Gon and the situation I've created (you'll see more later), he should be all right.

    As for Atel and Anakin, they are alike in many ways - protective of their masters and willing to give their lives for them, powerful in the Force and likely to clash again with each other....

    Le'orath is indeed a worthy mate for Qui-Gon. She loves him without reservation but is still willing and able to be just as stubborn as Qui-Gon if she thinks she is right.

    I, too, always thought Qui-Gon would be good with kids. Look at how easily he related to the young Anakin in TPM- with smiles and hair ruffling and yet treating his questions with serious consideration.

    As for Ben, yes, he is very Force sensitive and has a great power in the Unifying Force, even though he is only 4. I wasn't sure just when the kids at the Temple would be able to handle the Force with any finesse so Ben is still taking baby steps here. And yes, he does see future events even if the future is always in motion...

    As for sneaking details in, I do that a lot, burying them in paragraphs so that you are aware of them in the back of your head but not really sure until they are brought up again later. Yes, most of the creche staff have been dismissed and the reason why is in the next chapter but I wanted to give a hint here...

    As for Ewan's cuteness in AOTC, I found him adorable in Dex's diner, the whole initial Kamino thing where he is talking to Lama Su (sp?) and even the chase through Coruscant (my favorite part of the movie). The only times I didn't like him was when he was being so sarcastic to Anakin on Geonosis (poor kid was only trying to rescue him - cut him some slack). I do adore Obi-Wan. That's why I like to torture him so much in my fic...LOL.


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