Betrayal (Obi/Qui angst - very AU) Updated Sept 20, 2011 - Complete

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by dianethx, Mar 16, 2003.

Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. Valiowk Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 23, 2000
    star 6
    While confrontations are never something that people look forward to, it's sometimes better that it occur and both sides come to understand that they may have misunderstood the other party. Certainly, the confrontation between Anakin and Obi-Wan could have gone much worse; at least both sides are now aware of what happened on both ends and are in a better position to understand, even if they are not ready to empathize with the other party.

    Great update, diane! Looking forward to the finale! :)
  2. Happy_Hobbit_Padawan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 3, 2003
    star 4
    You're almost done? :D Good timing - I'm packing for a trip tomorrow and I think I'll use the wifi in the hotel to start re-reading this instead of squeezing in another book! What's your word count? I think you'll have the last post up long before I get to the end!
  3. dianethx Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Ocelotl_Nesto - Thanks so much. That argument was giving me a lot of problems. He is both a hero and an idiot and trying to balance the two was hard.

    Musing ? well no most posts now. It's done. I'm glad that you liked what was going on between Obi-Wan and Anakin. It was a pivotal argument so that they could both let go of some of their anger toward the circumstances. Glad you liked it!

    Obimom ? Yes, it's now done. If you are going to reread it, I suggest you do so over at because the edited version is better over there. Yes, everything will be wrapped up! Hurray!

    BrightFeather ? thanks so much. Glad you liked it. :D

    The1stJediPrincess ? That's the most important line in that whole argument. It's the turning point for Obi-Wan. Glad you picked up on it.

    Valiowk ? the confrontation between Anakin and Obi-Wan were crucial to Obi-Wan's well being. He was thinking much too much of himself and not enough of others and it was Anakin behaving like an idiot that got him on the right road. Thanks.

    Happy_Hobbit_Padawan ? Yes, it's now done. I'm just about to post the last parts. For reading, the best place to find it all edited correctly is Betrayal on under Archaeologist. Have a good time on your trip!
  4. dianethx Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Well, it's done. Only 9 years and 285000 words later and I'm finished. I hope you enjoyed the ride!
    There was always an antiseptic smell in any Healer's hall; the one in the Sanctuary was no different. Even now as Qui-Gon walked briskly toward his wife's room, a mixture of reluctance and hope in his step, he could still sense it.

    Under the perfume of flowers and the cleanliness of pine and far-off snows lingered the sickening tones of pain and gut and blood ? the residue of the hall's real purpose but all the more unsettling for it.

    At least, Le'orath wasn't in intensive care any longer.

    As soon as he entered the hall, Healer Bors was hurrying toward him. "A word, Master Jinn."

    He'd already spoken with the man several times about Le'orath's condition but something could have changed in the last few days. Shoving aside his impatience, Qui-Gon said, "How is she?"

    "The surgery to restore some of her damaged organs went well. The cloned tissues are now in place and working as expected. I believe in time she will be able to have children again although it will be difficult for her. We would have to monitor her condition throughout the pregnancy but otherwise I see no impediment." The healer seemed almost smug but then his face turned solemn. "She may have trouble walking however. There was severe damage to her spine and nerves centers. I had hoped for better news for you when you returned but unfortunately it is not the case. Perhaps in time, things will change but at the moment?."

    "It is better than I had hoped, Healer. I thank you for your efforts." He turned to go but Bors was not done yet.

    "She refused to allow us to remove her scars, Qui-Gon, although I argued with her about it several times. She said they were part of her now." Shaking his head, Bors said, "I hope you will be able to change her mind. It's easy enough to do and it might help her find peace with what happened."

    "I will try. But you know how stubborn she is."

    "Qui-Gon, she's still fragile after all she's gone through and not a little confused with how to deal with it. Go softly with her."

    "I understand." His own scars were hurting again. Pressing against his gut just a little to ease the pain, he said, "I will talk to her about it - carefully."

    The healer was more observant than Qui-Gon might wish. Shoving a small container of pills into his hand, Bors said, "Pain medication and supplements for healing. Use them." When he started to protest, Bors just sent him a sharp frown. "Healer Leabe of the Jedi Temple contacted me about your injuries and Knight Kenobi's. I will expect both of you tomorrow morning for a consultation and physical therapy scheduling at the very least. Don't think that you can outstubborn me, either, Qui-Gon Jinn. I know where you live."

    He knew that Bors was an immovable rock when it came to his patients' health. Rather than argue endlessly and lose in the end anyway, he nodded. "Of course. Tomorrow morning. And now may I see my wife?"

    "As soon as you take your medication." Bors stood there, arms folded and waited for surrender.

    Biting back a scathing reply, he scowled as he shoved the pills into his mouth and dry-swallowed. "Satisfied?"

    Smiling ? the man could be incredibly smug at times, Bors pointed down the corridor. "First door on your right. I believe she's awake."

    Wheeling away, he didn't wait for the healer to finish talking. He'd had enough of conversation. It was time to face Le'orath.


    The room was filled with light. A window looked out to the snow-capped mountains beyond and there were trumpet flowers just outside, their pale blossoms glowing among the greenery. An echo of the life they'd had together.

    Le'orath was half-sitting in bed, propped up with pillows, staring out into the distance. The bandages were gone for the most part, although he could see a bulge of white on one side of her stomach and there were still tubes strung here and there and into the bandages. From this angle, he couldn't see much scarring, although there were Sith markings on her arm, raised welts th/>
  5. Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 6
    Good grief, Diane - what a magnificent ending to a superb masterpiece! I'm sitting here at work with tears in my eyes...your ending is a beginning of a story to be writ in our imaginations.

    A "happy" ending would not be appropriate, but this "bittersweet and nearly happy" ending is just perfect.

    =D= =D=

    And, of course, @};- !
  6. Musing Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2003
    star 2
    The end is here. :_| But what a wonderful way to go! =D= Not a fairy tale-type ending with everyone happy, but all the more poignant for its realism.

    I'm so glad you kept on going, dianethx, and gave us readers such a magnum opus. [:D]
  7. obimom Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2010
    star 4
    I just left a feedback on the Other forum...but i always have to follow up here (I'm Obiwan456 over there..:)), but just a wonderful ending.

    Hopeful, healing, promising, Obi-Wan on the right path again, promise of visits between Obi and Qui-Gon,'s all good. Congratulations on a story long in coming, but very well told!! =D= [face_dancing] @};-

    And yes, when I'm ready to read it all again, I will read it over there, and on my sons handy dandy hand held 3ds that gets wi-fi (which we have)...I can relax in bed as with good book and read till I'm ready for sleep. :) Looking forward to it.

    I could almost wish for a sequel, but I know that's not in your plans. Merlin takes precedent now for you, I know...but as Val said, we can imagine it...:)
  8. Ocelotl_Nesto Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2004
    star 4
    Very nice! A wonderful realistic (ok this is AU/Sci Fi) but believable ending. Very well done. This work is one of my personal favorites.
  9. Gkilkenny Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    Great story and I love the ending, giving us the feeling that Obi-Wan and Ben will be master and apprentice.
    It gave Qui-Gon hope too.
    Nine years of keeping us entertained. Well done.=D=
  10. Valiowk Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 23, 2000
    star 6
    This was a magnificent conclusion to a compelling, moving story, Diane - as other readers have noted above, not the happiest of endings, but a realistic and simultaneously hopeful one. =D=

    I liked your reference to Yoda's words "Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter" very much. It aptly summarises the lesson that many parties in this story have learnt through the trials they have faced: to look beyond a person's failings and see the compassionate soul within. A lesson that we real-life readers would do well to remember too.

    Congratulations on completing this epic work, and thank you so much for bringing us many years of joy with it! @};-
  11. Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 6
    Wanted to add:

    "Yes, I think I've been here too long already. The peace of this place, your calm guidance, Ben's childish laughter, even Anakin's sulks would keep me here if I could. But the longer I stay, the harder it will be to leave." He rubbed at his shoulder a moment and then scrubbed at his face. "I don't want to, Qui-Gon, but when did my wants ever have anything to do with it?"

    I don't quite know whether to cry for Obi-Wan or shake him, in a way (at this point in time). It's tragic in one way that his wants are only that - wants, but then, he chose to pledge himself to the Force. He had a choice, in the past and in the now, to keep his vows. Perhaps he didn't know the price way back when, but he always had the choice.

    But the human part of him will always wish for what the more rational part of him would call selfish - a desire to do purely as he wished to do based only on his own inclinations.


    I *wish* it had been possible to show more of the growing bond between Ben and Obi-Wan, since the two had very little interaction. Knowing they'll be paired in some years - well, I *could wish* for a few more paragraphs, but then, "when did my wants have anything to do with it"? [face_laugh] [face_talk_hand]
  12. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    I can't believe it's over. It feels a little surreal. This always seemed like an epic that would go on and on (in a good way ;) ) . I still remember back in the ol' Obi-Wan resource thread, when I got to ask someone to write a short story, and I asked you to write something in the Betrayal universe. It was the obvious thing to ask for, because the Betrayal universe is so rich in drama, surprises and great writing. Just reminds me how long Betrayal lasted, longer than a lot of other things on this site. Your amazing writing harkens back to those fun days, so it was a bittersweet experience to read this final installment.

    Beautiful descriptions and honest characterizations, as always. Of course Obi-Wan could not stay and of course it is breaking his heart. With every character, you have them do exactly what they are meant to do, and it all just came together perfectly.

    Also, from very early in the story, I was positive you were going to kill Qui-Gon in the end! [face_laugh] This is much better, and little Ben's prophecy was unexpected and very compelling.

    Thank you for staying dedicated to finishing this. You've definitely been the most thoughtful writer I've read on the boards, and it really shows in the story. Merlin is a lucky fandom, and I should catch up with that series! :p Congratulations and thank you again for sharing your gift of writing with us readers. @};-
  13. dianethx Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Val ? I'm so glad you liked it. I was never going to have a 'happy' ending because Star Wars never really does end happily (even if Luke and Leia were hugging at the end). But I'm just happy that it worked out and I was able to a) finish it and b) have it come out the way I wanted it to. Thanks so much for sticking with me!

    As for Obi-Wan, I think his life was always tragic. No matter what universe he was in, his wants were never first with him. It's not part of his personality, always self-sacrificing for the greater good. I'd like to think that in this universe at least, he got to see Qui-Gon more than a few times and really did help the Jedi to thrive.

    Ah, Ben. I did try and write a scene with just Obi-Wan and Ben bonding but the flow just didn't work and I deleted it. I'll leave it to your imagination as to their future together, keeping in mind that Ben has two incredibly stubborn parents!

    Musing ? Yes, a non-fairytale ending but I did want it to be this way, bittersweet but with hope in the distance. Thanks so much for staying around to read it. I really appreciate it.

    Obimom ? Yes, you did. Thanks so much! Yes, it is rather bittersweet but with hope for the future. Healing all around and everyone with purpose and a better tomorrow.

    No sequels.[face_worried] Every time I write a sequel, it's much longer than the original so I try and stay away from them any more. And yes, Merlin has my heart now and that's what I will be focusing on in future.

    Ocelotl_Nesto ? Thanks. I was going for more realistic ending, hopeful but not too happy. Glad you liked it.

    Gkilkenny ? I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Nine years and now I'm moving on to something else. I never thought it would be so long as this. :D Thanks for reading!

    LE ? It does feel like the end of an era. I do remember that Obi-Wan resource thread well and still have very, very fond memories of it. I think if it were still around, I might still be writing SW fic. I remember you asking me for a story in the Betrayal universe and I was happy to do it. I did love the side-stories that came out of it! It is a bittersweet experience to have put 'the end' on this. I thought I'd never finish.

    Glad you liked the characterizations. Those were the ones that gave me the most trouble ?oh Anakin ? and I was even having problems with my OCs at times. I'm just happy that it all seemed to work even after nine years.

    LOL on killing off Qui-Gon. Now would I do that? Sure I would! But I'd already written out the ending so I knew exactly where I was going. But of course, I couldn't tell my readers that. What would be the fun, otherwise?

    Thanks so much. You should catch up with Merlin! It's a fun show with a good balance of humor, drama, angst and did I mention the two leads were hot? I have a number of stories on the non-Star Wars forum if you want to check them out (Conversations with a sorceress and its sequel , Diplomatic immunity, are both quite long and I think DI is the best thing I ever wrote) ? or not. But if nothing else, give the show a try. It's already up to Season 3 and Season 4 comes out in Jan. on Syfy.

    I'm just glad I could deliver something that you enjoyed. Thank you so much for sticking around! I can't tell you how much I appreciate it!

    And thanks to all my faithful readers, lurking or not. I can't tell you what a pleasure it has been over the years, talking about writing and everything else under the sun. It's been a real privilege. =D=[:D]=D= @};-@};-@};-
  14. BrightFeather Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 13, 2005
    star 3
  15. Jedi_Perigrine Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 22, 2008
    star 4
    Everybody else has said it already, but I'll say it again. Awesome end to an amazing series. Thanks for your 100 pages of excellence, Diane. I wish you all the best in whatever you decide to do next!

  16. Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    I really didn't want to read this last post at all. Over the years I'd gotten so much joy from this story and just didn't want it to end.

    TO say the story was most satisfying would be an understatement, but it's everything that first drew me to fanfic in the first place.

    Thank you for sharing this, letting us be a part of your life for so long. It was magnificent. [:D]
  17. padawan3 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 1999
    star 4
    Holy God! I can't believe its over. The story has been a staple for me. No matter how many times I took a break from the fandom, it's always been there, slowly moving along. It gave me continuity.

    Hence, I want to say thank you. Most authors would have given up long ago. I know it took a long time and a lot of effort, but the final product was well worth it. This was one of my favorite stories, and I am glad that we all got to experience its conclusion. I just hope you're happy. Thanks again! =D=
  18. dianethx Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    BrightFeather - thanks so much for reading and keeping up when I took years to finish it.

    Jedi_Perigrine - I'm glad you liked it enough to keep up with it through the long months of no updates. Thanks!

    Leona - It has been a long time coming. I'm just glad that I finished it. Thanks for everything! I really appreciate your encouragement for all these years.

    padawan3 - Yes, it's finally over. LOL about the slowly moving along. Slowly was right! Too slowly but it's done at last. I'm glad that you liked it enough to keep coming back. Thank you!

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