Betrayals, Conflicts...and Love (JA, AU) - Updated 28/7

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by JediClare, Nov 11, 2001.

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  1. Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 16, 2001
    star 4
    come on quigon ass get your butt moving like: NOW NOW NOW :mad:
  2. Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 16, 2001
    star 4
    moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D
  3. Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 16, 2001
    star 4
    more
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  4. JediClare Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 8, 2001
    star 4
    :eek:

    Ooookay... :D

    < > < > < > < > < > < > < > < > < > < >

    To Obi-Wan's relief, the rest of the day passed without further...problems.

    He dumped his last load into the cart and pulled a lever set into its side, sending it bobbing on faulty repulsorlifts into a dark tunnel. Wiping the sweat off his forehead onto his dusty tunic, he followed the humans to their quarters.

    'Quarters' was a generous term. The single room the humans shared was bare. There were no bunk beds, not even any mattresses for them to sleep on. The thirty or so humans were crammed into a space not much bigger than the Council chamber in the Jedi Temple.

    The door slammed shut with a thunderous clang. The room was thrown into near-darkness, with only the pale light from outside which filtered through the tiny barred window.

    Obi-Wan sat in a corner, trying to make himself as inconspicuous as possible. He was hungry and tired, and the last thing he wanted was a warm welcome from the other humans like the one the black-eyed human had given him.

    The Force cared nothing about what he wanted. He heard heavy footsteps headed toward him and looked up into the evilly grinning faces of the black-eyed man and two of his friends.

    < > < > < > < > < > < > < > < > < > < >

    [face_devil]
  5. Jacinta_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 2001
    star 4
    uh-oh! I sense obi-hurt coming! More please! Good post!
  6. Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 16, 2001
    star 4

    more
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    OH NO I SENSE OBIWAN IS ABOUT TO BE BEAT UP GREAT AND WHERE THE HELL IS QUIGON GRRRRRRRR!
  7. Lonewolf89 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2001
    star 5
    Come on Obi-Wan, you can take 'em! :D
  8. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
    Mwahahaha!!!! I sense some wonderful Obi-hurt on its way!!!! [face_devil]

    More soon please! :D
  9. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
  10. JediClare Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 8, 2001
    star 4
    I am having a mild case of Darth Writer's Block. :( I just can't decide on how Obi-Wan is to be beaten up. [face_devil]

    *Sighs*

    x Clare x
  11. JediClare Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 8, 2001
    star 4
    :D This is nuts...a Christmas post and here I am, beating up Obi-Wan. :D

    Here you go: Obi-hurt, inspired by WWF fights. [face_devil]

    < > < > < > < > < > < > < > < > < > < >

    Obi-Wan pushed away a wave of fear. The Drancors hadn't given him any Force-suppressant since he had arrived at the work sector, and he was slowly regaining his use of the Force.

    "Well, well, what have we here? Oh, look! It's the new boy!" the man said in fake surprise.

    "Please leave me alone," Obi-Wan said.

    "I don't think so," he said.

    "No one gets K'han into trouble and gets away with it," the man on K'han's right added.

    "I'm sorry," Obi-Wan said with genuine regret.

    "You should be." K'han slammed one fist into the palm of his other hand.

    "You will leave me alone," Obi-Wan attempted a mind trick.

    But his control over the Force was just too weak.

    The three men laughed derisively. "What, you think you can control our minds or something? Well, it ain't working!" K'han sneered.

    Qui-Gon. His Master would be able to sense everything that happened to him. He could not allow Qui-Gon to feel his pain. He didn't want his Master to suffer because of him. Again.

    Obi-Wan closed off his end of the bond as K'han threw a punch to his midsection.

    He doubled over in pain. K'han smashed his balled fist down on the back of Obi-Wan's head, and the teenager pitched forward to hit the ground.

    He was hauled up by his hair and shoved against the wall. He ducked the oncoming blow and K'han hit the wall instead.

    "You idiot," he snarled angrily. "Hold him," he snapped at the other two men.

    They caught Obi-Wan and twisted his arms behind his back, making him cry out in pain.

    K'han pivoted on his left foot and kicked out at Obi-Wan's face with his right.

    Obi-Wan felt pain shoot through his face, and blood gushed from his injured nose. If his nose hadn't been broken when he had hit the floor, it was now.

    K'han's large hand encircled Obi-Wan's neck. The men behind him released his arms, and K'han slammed the boy against the wall. His forearm slapped Obi-Wan across his chest, leaving behind a trail of pain.

    Obi-Wan kicked K'han in the shins, but the large man ignored him and brought his knee up, at the same time pushing Obi-Wan downwards, away from the wall. The knee caught Obi-Wan just under his ribs. He moaned in pain.

    K'han let go of Obi-Wan and he collapsed to the stone ground. Dropping to one knee beside the boy, he held him down with a hand on his chest and pummeled him with heavy blows.

    Obi-Wan flailed feebly at him, but the weak hits did K'han no serious injury.

    When Obi-Wan finally stopped struggling a few minutes later, K'han got up and picked him up by his ankles and neck.

    Holding the teenager high over his head, he turned and threw Obi-Wan onto the hard stone floor.

    By sheer luck, Obi-Wan's head hit a thick patch of moss growing from the cracks in the granite.

    The rest of him wasn't so lucky. His arm was under him as he landed. The weight of his body on it was enough to break it. The rough stone inflicted bruises, cuts and bloody scratches on his body.

    Although the impact didn't kill him, it was enough to knock him unconscious.

    Satisfied that Obi-Wan had received his 'punishment', the three men strode away.

    Throughout the whole thing, the other humans in the room had looked on, unconcerned. Not one of them lifted a finger to help Obi-Wan. These things happened almost every day. Another one today made no difference.

    < > < > < > < > < > < > < > < > < > < >

    Merry Christmas, everyone! :)
  12. Lonewolf89 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2001
    star 5
    I'll help Obi-Wan!! *grabs lightsaber*
    Merry Christmas Everyone!
  13. Jacinta_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 2001
    star 4
  14. RisingAdela Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 25, 2001
    star 1
    That was nice Clare. :)

    Adela
  15. Darth_Destructo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 2, 2001
    star 4
    Interesting to say the least. Utterly addictive, and that's not neccessarily a bad thing... :D
    Having read the whole thread and heeding your calls for critique and discussion I will strive to deliver a subjective review worthy of such a fine FanFic. :)

    Firstly, good dialouge. I can actually almost hear Qui Gon and Obi Wan spewing the words from their mouths. You have captured the essence of their speech to realistic and believable standards. Impressive, most impressive.
    Characters act in a convincing and totally justifiable manner. Basically, what they do makes sense. Especially the part where Obi Wan tries to protect Qui Gon from the blunt of the pain (mental and bodily) which they share via the mind link.

    Okay, now the doubts :
    Obi Wan seemed to be completely indifferent to young Anakin's plight in TPM. In fact, he refered to Anakin as a 'pathetic life-form' when he learned sensed that Qui Gon had acuired Anakin from Watto.
    "Why do I sense that we have picked up another pathetic life-form?" (The first pathetic life-form being *shudder* Jar Jar)
    I can see only two reasons for his actions.
    1) He desensitised himself, because of this torture episode, so that his emotions/memories wouldn't affect his judgement, thus compromising the mission at hand.
    2) He realised that Anakin was better off then he. This jaded outlook would also have to do with his torture making him more calloused. However, maybe he was feeling jealous that Qui Gon would so easily help another young boy.

    This would also explain Qui Gon's egerness to help the young slave, Anakin Skywalker. Qui Gon didn't want to allow a slave to suffer at the hands of his alien owner.

    You got me hooked as well, and I have never read a single JA book.
    Thanking for posting me the link. :)

    26/12/2001
  16. JediClare Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 8, 2001
    star 4
    RisingAdela - Hi, Adel. Everyone, meet my Westlife-loving younger sister who cannot sing. :D :p ;)

    Darth Destructo - Gee, thanks. [face_blush] [face_blush] [face_blush]

    I admit I didn't think of Obi-Wan thinking of Anakin as a 'pathetic life-form' when I was writing the posts.

    I think Obi-Wan realized that Anakin wasn't as badly treated as he had been. I think in other circumstances, Obi-Wan would not have called Anakin, or any other slave, a 'pathetic life-form'. TPM took place ten years after this. It's possible that time dulled the painful memories. Also his irritation with Anakin being an unnecessary burden and distraction from his mission, and exasperation with Qui-Gon's tendency to pick up strays, led him to do so.

    x Clare x
  17. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
    Awesome post! Yay! What a wonderful gift... Obi-hurt! Mwahahaha!!

    More soon please! :D
  18. Darth_Destructo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 2, 2001
    star 4
    Hmm, good points. :)
    Of course, as the author, you ultimately have the final say. I was led to believe that Obi Wan was a bit of a 'bad ass', highly protective of his master and given to the occasional snobishness(is that spelt correctly?).
    Anyhow, we shall see in the later chapters won't we?
    ;)
  19. JediClare Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 8, 2001
    star 4
    Aaahhh! You put pressure on me!!!

    :D :D :D

    x Clare x
  20. Darth_Destructo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 2, 2001
    star 4
    I wouldn't want to do that... [face_plain]
    You seem to be busy enough.
    However, you must realise that we're all waiting for the next installment with baited breath... :p

  21. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
  22. JediClare Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 8, 2001
    star 4
    I hate Darths School and Homework... :mad: :_|

    < > < > < > < > < > < > < > < > < > < >

    Qui-Gon wanted to storm into the building and get Obi-Wan out immediately, no matter what happened.

    "Qui-Gon, we don't even know the layout of the building, where Obi-Wan is, how many guards there are, or what the security system is like," Tyan pointed out. "Getting caught wouldn't help Obi-Wan very much."

    "Yes, but..." Common sense wrestled with worry for his Padawan.

    Common sense won. "What do you suggest we do?"

    >< >< >< >< ><

    Tyan strode towards the Drancor standing guard at the entrance to the building. His body was striped black-and-white, and he appeared quite a number of years younger than Ssthith or Thiss.

    "I will see Ssthith now," she said imperiously.

    "Ssthith isss resssting. Come back later," he said, puffed up with importance at being given the assignment of guarding the front entrance.

    Tyan acted as if she hadn't heard him. "I will see Ssthith now," she repeated.

    The guard's irritation flashed through the Force. "No one disturbsss Ssthith during hisss ressst."

    Tyan leaned forward, her amber eyes glaring into his black ones, streaked with green. "I. Will. See. Ssthith," she said into the reptile's face with an edge to her voice.

    The Drancor almost moved back, but held his ground. "I sssaid, no - "

    Tyan stepped back, reached down for her lightsaber slung low at her hip and thumbed the activation switch. She brought the golden blade down, its tip leveled at the guard's throat. "Now."

    The guard hesitated, then stammered, "I-I-I w-will g-g -"

    "Go and get him. Immediately. Or I lop off your head," Tyan snapped, and brought the blade closer to his throat for emphasis.

    "Y-y-y-yesss," he said, shaking in terror.

    Tyan withdrew the saber a few centimetres back, and the Drancor shot away. She deactivated her lightsaber.

    A short while later, Ssthith appeared, accompanied by Thiss and two guards armed with blasters and a variety of other weapons. Tyan had a moment to note that the power packs in the blasters were different from those commonly used throughout the galaxy, before she turned her attention to Ssthith.

    "Greetingsss," Ssthith hissed.

    "I want the boy now," Tyan cut straight to the point.

    "You cannot havvve him. You havvve yet to givvve us the information we want."

    "I will give you that information later. I want the boy now," Tyan said.

    "You will not havvve him until we reccceive the information you promisssed usss."

    "There was no promise."

    "Then our deal isss off. If you do not help us, we will not hand the boy to you. We grow weary of waiting, SSShhhi'ido. We wonder why you take sssuch a long time to expresss your thanksss," Thiss said with a measure of sarcasm.

    Tyan mentally noted to watch out for the red-eyed Drancor. She was getting suspicious.

    Fury entered Tyan's eyes, then faded.

    "Fine then. I will need information about your city, and this building." Tyan gestured toward the building at which entrance they stood. "Especially this building. I believe this is your interrogation headquarters. I will need to know how advanced your equipment are for breaking humans, and how its security system functions. It would not do for our prisoners to escape, would it?"

    She glared at them. "I trust you will honor our deal. There will be no double-crossing. Otherwise..." The brush of her fingers against her saber hooked on her utility belt completed her sentence for her.
  23. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
    Oooooo... Creepy!!! Great post!

    More soon please! :D
  24. JediClare Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 8, 2001
    star 4
    Where'd everybody go?
  25. Cheryl_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 6, 2001
    star 4
    more please I need more Obi-hurt-er I mean Obi-well hehehe

    Ok that was just plain bad
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