Beyond - Legends Beyond the Legacy 1.1: Apprentices (OC)

So this is the first series of a multi-part series which takes place 1000 years ABY, and is completely made up of OC's.

I'm still writing it right now, and I'll make the full version into a PDF file. In the meantime, here's an excerpt:

PS I'm still new into writing stories, so any suggestions are welcome.


MON CALAMARI STAR CRUISER LIBERATOR, OVER CORUSCANT

?General Tard, we have arrived on Coruscant,? said one of the crewmembers. ?A gunship is awaiting your arrival.?

?Good? replied the Jedi Master. ?I?ll be right there.?

Minutes later, out of the Star Cruiser launched a New Republic third-generation LAAT Gunship, escorted by four XJ9 X-Wing starfighters.

?Gunship to Ground Control, requesting permission to land.?

It was standard procedure for arrivals on Coruscant to go through a series of checks, in order to prevent the disruption the limited amount of peace in the galaxy.

?Permission granted, pilot. You may proceed to land on Platform three-seven-seven.?

Mantal stepped into the cockpit, and spoke through the comlink, ?Actually, I was hoping that we could land in the Jedi Temple hangars.?

?Hang on there, General. Contacting the Jedi Temple.?

Instead of waiting, Mantal approached the keypad and typed a code, which was strictly authorized to only the most trusted of Jedi. Upon seeing the code, the deck officer replied with the following message:

Permission granted, General. Land in Hangar twelve.

?Thank you.?

Upon landing at the hangar, Mantal noticed the sky.

?It?s getting late. I?ll just go back to my quarters and meet the kids tomorrow morning.?

 

Welcome to the boards! Good start on your story.