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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Beyond - Legends ~Beyond the Rim~ A/T SbS AU Completed 8/09!!!!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Lonewolf89, Mar 31, 2003.

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  1. Lonewolf89

    Lonewolf89 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 26, 2001
    Chapter 15: Meeting the Natives

    After several carefully flybys and the utilization of the Firelight?s cloaking device, Jaina and Danato finally located a landing spot. A clearing in the forest canopy was just the right size to slide the ship into place. It was a little over 15 kilometers away from the Naraox cave entrances so the strike team would be close enough to get to the Yuuzhan Vong base without having their ship spotted.

    Anakin and Kyp walked down the docking ramp first, heavy blasters in their hands. Although their scanners had detected no alien activity Anakin wanted to be absolutely sure before allowing the whole team to step into the clearing. The last thing he wanted was to lead them into was an ambush.

    The planet reminded Anakin of the pictures he had seen of Endor. The woods were slightly more overgrown, casting eerie shadows wherever he waved his glow rod. The call of birds echoed in the distance and a soft breeze caused the trees to rustle up above. But that was the only sound he could detect. After two sweeps of the area he motioned for the rest of the Jedi to come out of the Firelight.

    Both Jaina and Tenel-Ka kept a careful hold of their weapons. Tahiri and Valin on the other hand explored the clearing with more excitement. Danato and his two team mates came out next, all casting weary glances around. They seemed to be having the same feeling about the situation Anakin was. Commander Rhyll pulled up the rear. Unlike the others she seemed puzzled by this new atmosphere. Her eyes traveling upwards, towards the canopy opening. Anakin glanced around as he made his way over to her.

    ?What?s wrong?? he asked cautiously. He expected her to give him another coarse reply but instead she looked at him with an expression of wide eyed amazement.

    ?I?ve never seen trees before,? she said, her gaze returning to the leaves that were blowing overhead, ?I?ve seen pictures, but never the real thing.?

    Anakin watched her walk off the ramp. Of course, General Adare had told him that the Yuuzhan Vong had taken over this galaxy hundreds of years ago, long before Arles had be born. By the time she came around all the planets would have been bent to the will of the Vong. They had become barren, lifeless waste lands. Nonetheless he couldn?t imagine living a life where he had never seen a tree. Growing up on Yavin it was impossible to escape them.

    ?So, what?s the plan, oh fearless leader, sir?? Jaina asked, breaking into his thoughts.

    Anakin looked over at her with a smirk as the rest of the team wandered back towards him. ?Well, I think flying through that maze back there took more out of us that I had expected.?

    Jaina couldn?t help but nod in agreement.

    ?Then,? he continued, ?I say we set up a make shift camp here. Get something to eat, rest for a few hours and then head out. If Rhyll's right and we have forty seven hours then we?ll have plenty of time to reach the base and set up the explosives either way. That sound good to everyone??

    The group all nodded as they fanned out to gather supplies.

    ~~~~~~~~

    Anakin dropped down on the ground next to Tahiri as he finished setting up the last explosive trigger. He, Kyp, and Tenel-Ka had been working on fixing a secure perimeter around the clearing to protect the ship if the Vong some how manage to locate it.

    Anakin happily accepted the bowl of food Valin passed him, sighing as he leaned back against his pack. They had set up a fairly good camp in the last half hour. Jaina had arranged the glow rods into the middle of a small sitting area. Valin, Jacen, and the others had started breaking out some rations and were able to make a decent dinner. Now they all fell into silence as they ate their food, the sounds of the forest reverberating around them. It was almost peaceful sitting there in the growing darkness. But the fact that they were on an enemy planet never left their minds. After a long silence the group slowly began to drift into conversation.

    ?So, how long have you training as a Jedi?? Danato asked Anakin a
     
  2. Star-Lead

    Star-Lead Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 22, 2003
    The natives certainly are a friendly bunch aren't they?
     
  3. Lonewolf89

    Lonewolf89 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 26, 2001
    Great aren't they? :D

    I was watching The Princess Bride right before I wrote that so I was envisioning the Rodents of Unusual Size in the fire swamp. These guys are a little bigger and meaner but just as welcoming.
     
  4. Jade-Walker

    Jade-Walker Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 2002
    Great description of the woods, Lonewolf! You make me feel like I was really there! ;)

    I like how you made Rhyll awed by seeing the trees. It gives her some more depth. :)

    Her mile a minute chatter still amazed him. When they met he had assumed it was something she only did when she was nervous. Obviously he had been wrong.
    [face_laugh] Excellent! I loved that!

    ?He killed my brother."
    I didn't see that coming. Interesting. :)

    Although most of the time she thought he was clueless he was a lot more aware than Tahiri might gave him credit for.
    Hehehe.

    Got the idea from Princess Bride, huh? :cool:
    I love that movie! :D

    Great post, Lonewolf! I look forward to the next installment. :D
     
  5. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2002
    Marvellous mix of action and softer moments. It's hard to keep the mix going in a story and you do it really well. I liked Rhyll's reaction to the planet too. Great idea to have the Merin with some special abilities of their own - ie the night vision.

    I also like the bit where Anakin alerts the Jedi through their telepathic link - it's good to see everyone using their various abilities to the best advantage. Great idea with the creatures attacking - it all helps to build up the tension.

    I'm enjoying Anakin's leader-like behaviour - ignoring what's not helpful, but confronting people when he needs to. He's got the leader instinct that's for sure. :) Lovely rumination by Anakin about Tahiri, and I liked the idea of Tahiri sleeping in the fetal position - great touch and reminder of her torture. :)

    Gripping stuff :)
     
  6. Lonewolf89

    Lonewolf89 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 26, 2001
    Jade-Walker: Thank you! I just had to make some reference to Tahiri?s chatter. It wouldn?t have seemed right not to. :D

    [face_blush] Thanks Tahi! The night vision was fun to add to the fic. I knew I had to find some way to make the people in this galaxy distinctly different from the ones in Anakin?s galaxy and that seemed like a good way to bring that out.

    Great feedback everyone! More tomorrow! :)
     
  7. Lonewolf89

    Lonewolf89 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 26, 2001
    Chapter 16: Unexpected Events

    Anakin threw his pack over his shoulder as he clipped his lightsaber back to his belt. The fight may have been short but it had cost them a member of there team, and that was a price he wasn?t willing to pay again.

    ?Here?s the plan,? Anakin said, pulling Danato?s map out of his pocket. The rest of the team gathered around him as he began laying it out for them. ?More than likely that little light show we just threw gave away our position which means the Vong are going to start scouting the area; so we need to move fast.?

    ?Jacen, Kyp,? Anakin locked eyes with the two Jedi as he pointed to a cave entrance on the map. ?We don?t know which cave is being used as the main base so we?re going to have to split up. I want you two covering entrance number one. It should take you about an hour to reach it. If you see something call the other teams and wait for us to get to you. Otherwise keep complete radio silence. Tenel-Ka and Jaina, take the cave two. Danato and Rhyll will take the next,? Anakin pointed to another point on the map, ?Tahiri and I will scout that last one. For all we know each cave leads to a different destination, but it could be that they all be leading to the same place. We need to stay alert.?

    He exchanged a glance with Tahiri who was looking at him with a calm green gaze. Despite the never ending twists the last few days had thrown at them she still managed to renew his faith in the mission. Any doubts he had were crushed in that moment.

    ?What about me?? Valin Horn asked, glancing up. The boy had been quite ever since they had landed and Anakin guessed that he was scared. Reaching out with the Force he could sense the swirl of emotions surrounding the younger man.

    ?I want you and Captain Rava?s remaining officer to stay here. The Firelight may be our only way off this rock and if the Vong find it they?ll destroy it. You two need to make sure it stays protected.?

    Valin lifted his chin higher so he could look Anakin in the eye, ?Yes sir.?

    ?If there are no questions, start moving out. But remember,? Anakin glanced back at the alien creatures sprawled across the ground, ?There could be more of those things out there so watch your backs.?

    The Jedi Knights exchanged glances, sending waves of comfort out to each other as they began pairing off. Anakin looked over his shoulder as they each disappeared into the woods. He wondered absently if he would ever see any of them again. The thought of dragging them this far only to get them killed was something to painful to consider. He had to have faith that this was going to end differently than the mission in his vision. He had to have faith in the Force.

    Finally, he pulled his eyes back to Tahiri. Reaching over he grasp her hand and they both plunged into the darkness.

    ~~~~~~~

    ?Is it just me or is it getting darker out here?? Tahiri asked as she followed a few feet behind Anakin. Things had moved fairly easily when they first exited the clearing but after a while the going had becoming much harder. Anakin had been forced to use a viro blade to cut through the dense foliage, now they were slowed to a crawl.

    ?I think you?re right,? Anakin replied, casting his gaze upward as he tried to make out any stars. His view was blocked, however, by a thick green canopy hanging hundreds of meters overhead. If there were any stars up there no light was going to make it through those leaves.

    ?Can we take a brake?? Tahiri questioned after another short struggle through vines and waist high grasses.

    Anakin stopped and looked around for a place for them to sit. Sweeping the area he spotted a log a couple meters away. He made a few quick slashes with his viro blade as he stepped over to it. Tahiri jogged forward, dropping down onto the log as she shrugged off her pack. She sighed happily, letting her bag fall to the ground.

    ?Want some?? she asked, thrusting a canteen into Anakin?s face. He shook his head, sitting down next to her. Despite all of the intensive training he had been putting himself
     
  8. Jade-Walker

    Jade-Walker Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 2002
    Despite all of the intensive training he had been putting himself through over the years he was finding this hike exhausting.
    Maybe he should have worked out with Tenel Ka more often! ;)

    Jaina would keep up without a doubt.
    I don't know about that. She never could keep up with Tenel Ka at the Jedi Academy.
    And Jacen? [face_laugh] But you're right. He probably would really feel in his element with all the life forms surrounding him.

    The sleeveless white shirt he was wearing showed off Anakin?s always improving physique very well.
    [face_love]

    He looks that good and he has absolutely no idea. Maybe I?ll clue him in one of these days.
    [face_laugh] That's a great characterization of Anakin and Tahiri.

    Jacen shouted, ?We?re surrounded!?
    *rolls eyes*
    Leave it to Jacen! 8-}

    Her eyes were stark white, like most Merins when in dark confines.
    Cool! :cool:

    Good fight scene with the Vong, too!

    Another of your great posts, Lonewolf! I love reading your stuff! :D
     
  9. Jek_Windu

    Jek_Windu Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 26, 2003
    Great post!!!


    POST MORE ASAP
     
  10. Star-Lead

    Star-Lead Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 22, 2003
    Trust Jacen to get himself into trouble.

    Should I ask Rico's Roughnecks to get him out?
     
  11. Lonewolf89

    Lonewolf89 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 26, 2001
    Jade-Walker: Thanks!

    Jaina would keep up simply because she?s too hard headed to admit that Tenel-Ka was fitter than her. :)

    That wasn?t exactly be most detailed A/T mush scene, but I couldn?t help but throw it in.

    Leave it to Jacen!

    Hehehehe, I might be changing his character a little, but he?s still the same old Jacen. Besides, how fun would it be if Anakin didn?t try to save his brother from certain death?

    Jek_Windu: Thank you! I?ll have more up tonight hopefully. :D

    Star-Lead: Trust Jacen and Kyp to get in trouble. I think they could use all the help they can get now.
     
  12. Jade-Walker

    Jade-Walker Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 2002
    I?ll have more up tonight hopefully.
    :D Cool!
     
  13. Moff_D

    Moff_D Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2002
    Tsk tsk Lonewolf, nothing good comes when the team splits up. ;)

    I like your characterization here, it fits well.

    Jade: keep it in your pants. :p

    Looking forward to more. :)
     
  14. Jade-Walker

    Jade-Walker Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 2002

    [face_shocked]
     
  15. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2002
    Marvellous scene, Lonewolf. I'm enjoying the interactions between Rhyll and Danato - the awkwardness and the tension. Good exploration of Danato's thoughts too.

    Ah - the old Anakin-with-his-top-off motif. I love it. It's one of the unwritten laws of writing Anakin stories ;) Why even Moff did it too. :)

    He exchanged a glance with Tahiri who was looking at him with a calm green gaze. Despite the never ending twists the last few days had thrown at them she still managed to renew his faith in the mission. Any doubts he had were crushed in that moment. I love this bit - another reminder of how they need each other.
    Danato found it interesting that the only time they were able to connect with each other was when their lives were on the line. I like that bit too. It seems Danato is a bit more intuitive than Rhyll.

    Good point about Jacen being in touch with the fauna. Maybe he can use it to save Kyp and himself. :)


     
  16. Moff_D

    Moff_D Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2002
    Why even Moff did it too.
    True, but let's be clear I only did it because you women like it so. ;)
    More coming too.
     
  17. Lonewolf89

    Lonewolf89 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 26, 2001
    Tahi: Thank you! I?m glad you like Danato and Rhyll! They?re a lot of fun to write together.

    It's one of the unwritten laws of writing Anakin stories.

    I agree with you there! I can?t think of one Anakin fic I?ve read that doesn?t at least mention something like that once. :D

    Where ever Moff_D and Jade-Walker are, trouble?s not far behind. You might want to watch your step there, Moff. Jade?s starting to look angry. :D


    Chapter 17: Firefight at the Firelight

    ?What are we going to do?? Jaina asked as she began to pace the small clearing Anakin had made with his viro blade. He could feel the restlessness surrounding his sister and she wasn?t doing a very good job of hiding it.

    ?Well, we don?t have much of a choice. We?ve to go after them,? Tahiri stated.

    ?No,? Tenel-Ka interjected, ?We must continue the mission. The Yuuzhan Vong now know we?re here. We?re only going to have a short window of time before they beginning searching these woods. We need to keep moving.?

    ?You?re both right,? Anakin broke in, holding his hands up.

    ?Tahiri, you, Jaina, Rhyll, and Danato are going to find the base. Tenel-Ka and I are going to try and track down Jacen and Kyp.?

    Tahiri looked at Anakin and he could see the unasked question in her eyes.

    Please, go. For me, he sent her through their bond. She nodded and turned away. Her confusion and hurt was replaced by a twinge of anger, but he knew she wouldn?t object.

    Anakin shrugged off his pack and dropped it to the ground. Reaching inside he pulled out two modified thermal detonators and passed them over to Jaina. ?I?ve been working with these. Once you get side the base set them to go off five hours from now. Hopefully we?ll be able to catch up with you all before you reach the brain, but if not we?ll meet you back at the Firelight.?

    ?Anakin I can?t-?

    ?Jaina,? Anakin?s gaze leveled at his sister, ?If we?re not back by then we?re already dead. There?s not much you can do for us then.? Despite the humor in his tone Anakin?s expression remained serious. Jaina nodded and took the explosives, burying them in her own pack.

    ?Now, Tenel-Ka and I will head back to Jacen and Kyp?s last known position. Your team needs to head out,? Anakin stated firmly, looking at the rest of the group. Tenel-Ka stepped over to stand next to him while Danato, Rhyll, and Jaina marched back into the forest. Tahiri glanced over her shoulder one last time at Anakin, an unsure smile on her face, before moving after them.

    ~~~~~~~

    Valin Horn scanned the tree line nervously. It had been almost two hours since the other Jedi had left and so far everything had been quite. Still be couldn?t shake the feeling that something was going to happen before they got back. He bit on his bottom lip, trying to push the feeling to the back of his mind.

    ?It?s really erie out here, isn?t it?? Xanic Marsh, the pirate crew member, said in a nervous voice. Valin had learned earlier that Xan had only been with Danato a few months. In fact he was only a year older than Valin himself.

    ?You can say that again,? Valin replied, sitting down on the ground next to him.

    ?Do you have any sisters?? Xan asked suddenly, breaking into the frightening silence that had fallen between them.

    ?Just one,? Valin replied, ?Her name?s Jysella.?

    ?They?re pains aren?t they? I have two and I never get a moment?s peace.?

    Valin smiled at him, ?Tell me about it. My sister?s always following me around, and she can talk more than Jedi Tahiri.?

    Xan?s eyes widened, ?I don?t think anyone can talk more than Captain Solo?s girlfriend.?

    ?There aren?t many people who can, but Jysella?s manages it somehow.? Valin paused, searching for something else to say. Listening to the sound of the trees was only making him more jittery. ?What about your parents? Do they work with Danato??

    Xan shook his head sadly, ?My mom died a few years ago from some weird Vong disease. My dad?s still around but he doesn?t serve on the Taranis anymore. What about your parents??

    ?My mom and dad are
     
  18. Star-Lead

    Star-Lead Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 22, 2003
    Oh man, Valin's in serious trouble.
     
  19. Jedi_jainafel

    Jedi_jainafel Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 5, 2002
    Dude!!!Those posts were wicked cool!!!!!

    He looks that good and he has absolutely no idea. Maybe I?ll clue him in one of these days.LOL.I would love to see Tahiri's "clueing in conversation", it would be pretty funny.

    Woah, go Valin!!!!!!!!!But..10?He's in troubllle.

    nina
     
  20. Jade-Walker

    Jade-Walker Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 2002
    ?I don?t think anyone can talk more than Captain Solo?s girlfriend.?
    [face_laugh]

    Like most Merin children born during the invasion he knew what it was like to miss loved ones, and worse yet, to loose them. It was nice to think that his wasn?t the only galaxy where children were separated from their families.
    Yeah, one of the tragedies of the war. The children never really got to be kids. Not that the Solos ever had a normal childhood to begin with. It makes me wonder what is in store for Ben.

    Great fight scene, Lonewolf! Those are hard to do. But Xan dies! [face_shocked] Oh my! And poor Valin having to sit right there and watch without being able to do anything for him!

    Ooo! A cliffie!

    :D Another great post, Lonewolf! :D
     
  21. Lonewolf89

    Lonewolf89 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 26, 2001
    Star-Lead: He sure is. [face_devil]

    jainafel: Thank you!

    Jade-Walker:

    Not that the Solos ever had a normal childhood to begin with.

    You can say that again. The Corellian Trilogy alone is a testament to that.

    I'm glad you're liking the fight scenes. They are hard to work through. I rewrite those over and over before I can get them to run right.
     
  22. Moff_D

    Moff_D Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2002
    Excellent post Lonewolf. Good action. :D
    Valin seems knee-deep in it but if he's anything like his old man he'll manage. ;)

    And how do you like being called dude? :p

    Where ever Moff_D and Jade-Walker are, trouble?s not far behind. You might want to watch your step there, Moff. Jade?s starting to look angry.
    Eh, she's not so tough. ;)
     
  23. Tahi

    Tahi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 8, 2002
    Good to see Valin in action and going through the same dilemmas that Anakin and his siblings have. It's certainly true that these Jedi kids have had to grow up in circumstances that could easily unbalance them.

    I particularly liked the bit where Anakin has to order Tahiri to go with Jaina as this is the same situation they were in in SbS. I'm wondering if she'll let it affect her the way she did then. It'll be interesting to see what you do with the idea. I think we all have our theories about the wisdom of them separating from each other. ;)

    Great action scene again. Yep - I know what you mean about these type of scenes - they are hard to write. Space battles are hard too. Romance is soooo much easier ;) :)

    I liked the dialogue between the two kids - nicely written. Moving death scene too - poor little Xan. And poor Valin. But it was good to see him recalling Anakin's advice. Anakin is very much his mentor isn't he?
     
  24. Lonewolf89

    Lonewolf89 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 26, 2001
    Thanks, Moff! :D

    And how do you like being called dude?

    I've gotten used to it. A lot of my friends are skateboarders, they tend to call everyone dude.

    Tahi: Anakin's fallen into the role of mentor for a lot of people. Valin tries to be like him in many ways, and hopes that he won't let Anakin down. I wish they had focused a little more on that relationship in the NJO. That's one of the things I love about fan fiction, you can expand on the story. :D
     
  25. Jedi_jainafel

    Jedi_jainafel Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 5, 2002
    Tahi, with Anakin and Tahiri, seperation in battle or on mission's is NEVER a good thing.Infact i think it spells impending doom.

    nina
     
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