Big Brother 5: The Musical; 6/30: "We want Beds Now!"

This is silly and probably sucks. It's also rather boring, which means it is a correct depiction of the game.

All users are shamelessly ripped-off. I don't know any of them so their depiction is based solely on poetic licence.

It is rumoured that Lucas owns them all...

---

[u][b]The Users must play [/b] [/u]
('Jesus Must Die' from Jesus Christ Superstar)


[i](The mod board. Random mods mod about and try to make the boards a better place for random users who fail to appreciate the effort. Problem users are discussed, so is the general atmosphere of the boards. The room is dominated by a huge round table. All mods can sit around it, though it is quite impossible then to make out the one sitting on the other side of the table. It's a symbolic thing.)[/i]


GRIMBY_THE_HUTT [i](not dead, despite all claims, cautiously approaching Sith-Lord-Gunray[/i]):
Good EssEllGee, the council waits for you.
all the admins and mods are here for you.

[i](They enter the board where all other mods and admins are assembled, even the RSAs and GSAs have come. )[/i]

SLG:
Ah gentlemen, you know why we are here.
We've not much time, and quite a problem here

[i](They look down at the boards proper. A crowd is gathering there.)[/i]

MOB (outside):
YJCC Drama!
YJCC Drama!
YJCC Drama!
YJCC Drama!

NYCITIYGURL [i](looking pointedly at the assembly, pointing towards the mob):[/i]
Listen to that howling mob of blockheads on the boards!
A ban or two of users, and the whole JC's on its feet.

MODS [i](nodding their heads)[/i] :
It is too much fuss!

MOB:
We demand big drama!

MODS:
We need solutions!

MOB:
Flame spam and snark, content most bizarre.

JEDI_DAJUAN[i](stands up and slams one hand down on the table):[/i]
We're needing a game right now to distract the wild crowd.

ROGUE?JEDI:
A rabble rousing event that is easy to start.

MODS:
We must act right now!

MOB:
We demand big drama!

MODS:
There's no time to lose!

JEDI_DAJUAN:
Look SLG, we must edit the lot.

ROGUE?JEDI:
Quick SLG, go call the Roman guard*.

SLG[i](raising both hands over her head in a grand gesture):[/i]
No, wait!
We need a more permanent solution to our problem.

NYCITIYGURL:
What game to play to distract from crisis?
It needs to draw the attention of all.

ROGUE?JEDI:
With riots and armies and fighting and slogans.

SLG[i](jumps onto the round table)[/i]:
There's only one way out -- Big Brother Five!

NYCITIYGURL[i](standing up and punching a fist into the air):[/i]
We can control them while they're in the house.
The drama will easily be contained there.

MODS [i](all getting up)[/i]:
But how can we force them?
Resistance increases
By leaps every moment; we need a good lure.

SLG [i](walking around on the table gesticulating wildly)[/i]:
A week of colours should do
The crowd just loves them; they'd do anything
There'll be blood and destruction,
one elimination for each week is planned.
But we could increase the number at whim.

MODS [i](clapping their hands down on the table in a fashion that could have been called rhythmically, if they had decided on one rhythm)[/i]:
This is a good idea to boot!

SLG [i](grinning evilly)[/i]:
We'll show them true boredom in their first week in

MODs[i] (beginning to walk around the table, still clapping various rhythms on it)[/i]:
That will make them eager to please, to appease, to play our game.

ROGUE?JEDI[i]( getting onto the table to SLG)[/i]:
When do we start to imprison the users?

NYCITIYGURL:
It needs a disguise so it looks like free will.

MODS [i](becoming frenetic and starting what looks to be a badly mangled aboriginal dance with lots of stomping)[/i]:
We'll post the call-outs in more than one forum
That way it will look as if it 's free for all

SLG [i](throwing herself into a heroic pose)[/i]:
The fools, they won't see it coming!
We'll trick them completely throw sand in their eyes
They'll be locked up forever
We shall have quiet if the users will play.
For the sake of the forum, the users must play.

MODS either [i](thumping their fists on the table or raising them to the sky in defiance)[/i]:
Must play,

 

Hmmph. Sounds an awful lot like Fanfiction the Musical, which you unfortunately didn't finish with us.

 

Okay, let's have some drama Ish.
You really could have talked to me back then. I was right there, but how many pms did I get in the end? How much did I get to know of what was planned and going on?
It was always 'we're doing this' and next is that'
Iwrote stuff that was never ever used, thoug integrating bits of it would have been easy.
I grew incredibly tired of pming you and asking what are we doing right now?

In the end, I had to fin out IN THE FRIGGING STORY THREAD that the musical was written on by just one of us.

Yes, I was damned ToS-violated.


Anyway, of course, it looks like the FF Musical, what were you expecting?
Only without all the backstage stuff. I was never any good with that...

 

Well, I?m sorry if you felt that way, but no matter how many days or even weeks we would wait at a time, we couldn?t consistently rely on you. As far as I was informed, that was by your choice. And we integrated stuff that you HAD sent us frequently and then took out what didn?t work, as we did with our own stuff. And yes, backstage stuff has always been my flair, not yours.

 

So basically, we have to sing our own theme song, or we can't?

 

Guys, this is supposed to be a musical, not a drama. I feel like I was lied to.

 

It could be a dramatic musical.

 

No.

 

Ish sits on a stool center stage, wearing a sparkly green dress and holding a microphone.

ISH:

I?m nothing special
In fics, I?m a bit of a bore
If I write crack!fic,
You?ve probably read it before
But I?ve got a talent
You?ll find that I?m quick
Cause everyone curses
At the end of my fics
I?m so angsty and droll
Everyone wants to be sick on the whole

So I say thank you for the angstfics
The tales I?m writing
Thanks for all
The plot bunnies biting
Who can live without ?em
I ask in all honesty
What would life be
Without a fic that ends raw and bloody
So I say thank you for the angstfics
For giving them to me

Mama says I was a sadist before I could walk
Mm-hmm she says I began to scream long before I could talk
But I?ve often wondered
How did it all start
Who found that nothing
Could capture a heart
Like a suicide can
Well whoever it was
I?m a fan

So I say thank you for the angstfics
The tales I?m writing
Thanks for all
The plot bunnies biting
Who can live without ?em
I ask in all honesty
What would life be
Without a fic that ends raw and bloody
So I say thank you for the angstfics
For giving them to me

I?ve been so lucky
I am the girl with a twisted side
I want to type it out to everybody
What a joy
What a life
What a chance

So I say thank you for the angstfics
The tales I?m writing
Thanks for all
The plot bunnies biting
Who can live without ?em
I ask in all honesty
What would life be
Without a fic that ends raw and bloody
So I say thank you for the angstfics
For giving them to me
So I say thank you for the angstfics
For giving them to me

 

(The Guardian of Arlon enters. Looks around and sees Ish sitting there. Goes over to her)

TGOA: Hey, what's this thing all about? What are we doing? What are they doing? (Referencing to the crowd)

 

You know Ish, that's just what I mean.
First, I don't get told what to do, and then you just post.

Where am I supposed to put the 'You're in Big Brother Now' song?
Communication. I got a damage there.

And it's not just 'I felt that way'. I didn't get answers and I didn't get anything to do. If I made suggestions it was 'we're doing this right now, maybe later'. How was I supposed when later was in your plan?
I still have that metal medley for Beyond...


Um, contestants, I thought you wanted drama? You confuse me.
Anyway, yes, you can chose your own song. If you don't I'll just make something up. If you want, you can also write your own lyrics, but please tell me in advance, so I can try to keep the story somewhat on track.

Current plan: Getting the people into the house, introductions and the luau...

So yes, we can collaborate, but we do communications MY WAY!
That basically means: TALK TO ME BEFORE YOU DO STUFF!

 

oh..okay. Well I'll try to come up with something first...

 

Take your time.
I still have to finish the second piece where we all get grabbed and brought here.
Also, we don't have to put all introductions right at the beginning. I am sure we can find a way to insert them sensibly.

 

Sorry about the "communication." The way you worded it sounded like you wanted us to contribute our songs by posting and those who did not would have you write them for them. Do whatever you like. I'm not coming in here anyway.

 

No problem. I hear that posting updates in other peoples' stories is all the rage in FanFic right now.
I'll just insert it again later. Unchanged except if you'd like some changes by then....

 

Thank you. WHerever you feel is appropriate.

 

Whatever has been agreed on is appropriate.
It's all about communication.

 

Agreed.

 

I will now start on the contestants theme songs. Plese note that so far only Ish, Sam and I have provided one.

---

[u][b]You're in Big Brother Now![/b][/u]
('In the Army now' by Status Quo)

[i](SLG and Rouge?Jedi hover over the boards like two putti of doom. They have list with them and keep checking on the sign-ins.)[/i]

SLG: The first should be here any moment now.

ROUGE?JEDI [i](pointing on a map of the boards): [/i] The first candidate should up here.

SLG: SWC? I thought she was running for WNU?

ROUGE?JEDI: Indecision is not our problem. Ah, there she is!

[i](They drop into the SWC, pouncing an unsuspecting QUI-GON_REBORN.)[/i]

BOTH: You come with us, and no fuss!

QUI-GON_REBORN ([i]looking for the hidden camera in puzzlement[/i]): What for?

SLG (bursting into song): A vacation on a foreign board
You are chosen to be aboard
(ROUGE?JEDI joining in): You're in Big brother now
Oh, oh, you're in Big brother now!

QUI-GON_REBORN[i]( still looking for the camera)[/i]: You're joking right?

SLG: Nope.
[i](She touches QGR with he ban stick and thus beams her into the BB5 House)[/i] All too easy.

ROUGE?JEDI: Next is in Senate.
[i]
(They teleport to the Senate forum, avoiding some heated discussion on the way. They inch around the argument about homosexual marriages into the social thread where FID is relaxing.)[/i]

SLG: FID, say your goodbyes, and be fast.
(singing again): A vacation on a foreign board
You are chosen to be aboard
(ROUGE?JEDI joining in): You're in Big brother now
Oh, oh, you're in Big brother now!

FIRE_ICE_DEATH [i](teleported away in the middle of his first half sentence in this musical): [/i] Oh, okay?


ROUGE?JEDI: This is taking too much time. Can't we just round up a few of them and group-zap them? Some should be frequenting the same forums.

SLG: Let's see. maybe we can get JediMasterAmanda, MsLanna and DarthIshtar in one go in the FanFic Resource.

[i](The teleport and hover over FF Resource. SLG keeps watching dots move across a map, while ROUGE?JEDI uses strange looking binoculars.)[/i]

ROUGE?JEDI: Got them. ([i]He swoops down and herds the three women together. SLG follows, playing a holo of herself and ROUGE?JEDI)[/i]

holoSLG: (singing): A vacation on a foreign board
You are chosen to be aboard
(holoROUGE?JEDI joining in): You're in Big brother now
Oh, oh, you're in Big brother now!
[i](She teleports the women into the house before they can even reply)[/i] Good thinking, huh? The recording is rather convenient. So, who's left?

ROUGE?JEDI [i](consulting the list): [/i] zacparis and marcusp2 from games, malkie from comms, Aragorn from the Senate, and Darth_Seldon from - uh nowhere I think. No wait, says Amphitheatre here.

SLG: Good thing I have a recording.

[i]
[b]*zap, boing, frizzle*
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *[/b][/i]

Are [i]YOU [/i] excited for the current Big Brother game? Can you not wait to get more information about the house and it's residents? Rejoice! The first issue of [b]Big Brother 5 - The Official Merchandise Magazine[/b] is available in shops today!

Know the backgrounds of the contestants, get inside information on the latest scandals and collect all pieces to build you very own Big Brother 5 house. As a special treat, you can also purchase figures scaled to match the house!

Get the first issue of [b]Big Brother 5 - The Official Merchandise Magazine[/b] today and secure the grounds of the house. Get an EssEllGee action figure including the list of contestants and binocular as completely free bonus!

Start today and re-enact your favourite scenes in your own Big Brother 5 house tomorrow!

[b][i]* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
*swoosh, frizzle, hiss*[/i][/b]


[i](SLG and ROUGE?JEDI are hovering over a pit of boiling chaos. They look down in dismay, calculating how long it would take to locate the remaining contestants in that hive of [group-flaming is not allowed]. )[/i]

 

And they find no beds or anything.

It's just due to economy is all. No problem.



I say Lanna stays to comeplete this, as I want to see the ending.

 

I thank you for your vote of confidence, Georgia.

---

[i][b]We Want Beds Now[/b][/i]
('We will rock you' By Queen)



[i](The stage shows the inside of a house, like a doll house the fourth wall is missing. Literally. The rooms are empty except for the contestants that keep running all over the brightly lit place.[/i]

DAFT_VADER [i](suddenly stepping forward to the edge of the stage, raising an accusing finger): [/i] This house is devoid, nothing inside
Is this a bad joke? We need some furniture in here.
Where's the mods of this place?
Where shall we sleep?
In this house there's no single soft space

ALL [i](halting and turning to face the audience):[/i]
We want, we want beds now!
We want, we want beds now!

(The contestants beat the rhythm onto the walls as ZACPARIS steps forward)

ZACPARIS[i] (pointing around accordingly and beating his chest with a fist in the last line):[/i]
We have only walls here, cold floors
Okay for the day we can occupy ourselves
But when darkness falls, we need more than walls
Where shall we sleep?
I would even take a bed made out of nails

ALL [i](stomping and clapping, some even in the correct rhythm):[/i]
We want, we want beds now!
We want, we want beds now!
[i]
(the contestants improvise a choreographed dance, but give up when MsLanna jumps enthusiastically from the first story and is not caught)[/i]

THEGUARDIANOFARLON [i](stepping around the crumpled MsLanna):[/i]
Mods you cannot do that, hear us
We'll break down the gates fetch us some beds or just escape
We will get our way
Where shall we sleep?
Somebody better put beds into this place

ALL [i](falling onto their knees and hammering the rhythm onto the floor):[/i]
We want, we want beds now!
We want, we want beds now!

[i](Clapping on their thighs and with their hands the contestants approach the front of the stage, ready to run for it)[/i]

ALL:
We want, we want beds now!
We want, we want beds now!


DAFT_VADER [i](pointing up)[/i] Look! A plane. It's dropping off beds!

[i](Beds drop on the stage and consequentially all contestants get buried under them)[/i]

 

Nice. This is fun.

 

Everyone has AIDS!
AIDS AIDS AIDS!
AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS!
Everyone has AIDS!

And so this is the end of our story
And everyone is dead from AIDS
It took from me my best friend
My only true pal
My only bright star (he died of AIDS)

Well I'm gonna march on Washington
Lead the fight and charge the brigades
There's a hero inside of all of us
I'll make them see everyone has AIDS

My father (AIDS!)
My sister (AIDS!)
My uncle and my cousin and her best friend (AIDS AIDS AIDS!)
The gays and the straights
And the white and the spades

Everyone has AIDS!
My grandma and my dog 'ol blue (AIDS AIDS AIDS)
The pope has got it and so do you (AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS)
C'mon everybody we got quilting to do (AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS)
We gotta break down these baricades, everyone has
AIDS! x 20

 

You have aids.
Yes you have aids.
I hate to tell 'ya boy that you have aids.
You've got the aids.
You may have got it when you stuck that filthy needle in here.
Or maybe all that unprotected sex what you hear, it isn't clear.
But what we're certain of is you have aids.
Yes you have aids.
Not HIV but full blown aids.

Be sure that you see that this is not HIV.
But FULL BLOWN AIDS!
Not HIV but really FULL BLOWN AIDS

I'm sorry I wish it was something less serious.
But it's aids.
You've got the aaaaaa-i-ds!