main
side
curve
  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Saga Birth Rite - AU/AR Padmé, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Yoda, Palpatine. *Author's Note* 7/21

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Daenarrah, Jun 1, 2006.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. leia_naberrie

    leia_naberrie Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2002
    Woah! I can't believe I missed this. :oops: I feel so embarrased [face_blush] but :eek: wow, this last chapter was amazing. I mean this is one of the best written stories on the boards and you're obviously a talented writer, but this last chapter just Rocked!

    Nejaa stared at Beddect a few seconds, taking in the scene before him. He then glanced at Anakin, the feeling of unease growing when he noticed the darkness in the young man?s eyes and the way shadows seemed to dance across his features. Kneeling down, Nejaa reached out to feel for a pulse in Verso Beddect. He found none. Looking up with shock in his eyes, he asked, ?Anakin, what have you done??

    Standing stone still, unwavering and his eyes unblinking, Anakin responded in a low voice. ??I killed him.?



    Can someone say dark? [face_devil]
     
  2. Daenarrah

    Daenarrah Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2005
    leia_naberrie:
    Woah! I can't believe I missed this. I feel so embarrased but wow, this last chapter was amazing.

    Not a big deal there. :) I know DRL can be demanding and when it puts you in a stranglehold you just have to comply. :D ;) [face_laugh]

    Nejaa stared at Beddect a few seconds, taking in the scene before him. He then glanced at Anakin, the feeling of unease growing when he noticed the darkness in the young man?s eyes and the way shadows seemed to dance across his features. Kneeling down, Nejaa reached out to feel for a pulse in Verso Beddect. He found none. Looking up with shock in his eyes, he asked, ?Anakin, what have you done??

    Standing stone still, unwavering and his eyes unblinking, Anakin responded in a low voice. ??I killed him.?


    Can someone say dark?


    Yeah, Ani went Dark side there. And while I was nervous about writing it and the chapter was difficult to bring together I actually had a fun time with it. Dark Ani is fun to write about. [face_devil]

    Thanks for reading.


    --------


    Can you believe it? Chapter 16 is finally done. I never thought I?d see this day since nothing wanted to come together properly. I think I finally have it right. I think, I hope. Three massive overhauls and I should hope so. Thanks everyone for being so patient. *falls down dead*

    Before I get to the chapter
    My PM list:
    VA_Parky
    KELIA
    Jade_Max
    Valairy_Scot
    Star_Angel
    VaderLVR64
    anakinsangelover
    ehopepower
    Across_The_Stars-24
    FitJedi
    leia_naberrie
    Padlei
    G__Anakin
    merijune
    Mr_Dagobah
    LoveAnakin1
    full_moon
    Jazz_Skywalker
    jacen200015
    randomangel22
    Venus_Star2-com
    JediNemesis
    penpadme
    rocketscientist
    AnakinsFavorite
    DarthVaderette
    LVB
    Kyana-Morgaine
    satanat_solo
    laura_az
    DarthSilious
    Darth_Drachonus
    Lady_JediSkywalker


    Let me know if you want to be added or removed.

    And now, here we go.



    -------------



    Nejaa stood up slowly, looking at Anakin and watching his young friend?s expression carefully. He felt a slight chill of worry ripple through him when it didn?t change. A flashing moment of seeing Anakin Force choke Beddect passed through his mind and he wondered if the look the young Knight wore was the same one he had heard about when Anakin led the raid into the Intergalactic Communications Center on Praesitlyn. A part of him didn?t want to find out.

    Another part just wanted answers to what had happened.

    Taking a deep breath, he asked, ?What do you mean by you killed him??

    Anakin turned his head slightly to meet Nejaa?s eyes. His gaze solid and, from what Nejaa could see, there was something dark flickering behind the blue. ?I killed him.? Anakin?s voice was monotone, yet firm. ?He deserved to die for what he did.?

    Nejaa swallowed the ruthless words, as well as the lump that grew in his throat, feeling them drop hard into his stomach and continued to stare at Anakin. He didn?t know what to say and he had no idea where to begin. It felt like a stranger was standing in front of him. This person couldn?t possibly be Anakin.

    A thick heavy silence hung between the two, the only noticeable sound being Anakin?s long and steady breaths. He held Master Halcyon?s eyes in a firm gaze, one that made Nejaa incredibly uncomfortable.

    Looking away, Nejaa turned his attention to Verso Beddect again. Examining the scene before him he immediately noticed the severed arm laying only a few meters away from the body and the large hypo-needle clutched in the hand. He glanced back at Anakin, whose expression he noticed had softened only the slightest bit, then back to Beddect?s arm. Walking over, he kneeled down to inspect the needle, using the Force to lift the hand up so he didn?t have to touch it. For what seemed like long moments he stared at it, taking in what was undoubtedly the deadly agent at the other end. Something clicked then and he got up and looked at Anakin with what could only be a sense of hope in his eyes.

    ?He attacked
     
  3. DarthSilious

    DarthSilious Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Nov 4, 2006
    First reply! [face_dancing]

    I have to say that Nejaa is very understanding of his Anakin's situation. Just as well that it was him that found Anakin first. Good revelation that he may have done something similar if he'd been put in the same situation as Anakin.

    I've always felt that Anakin needed a bit more understanding. Not necessarily forgiveness as there has to be some repercussions for his actions but he does need more understanding than he he's ever received in the past - or future!
     
  4. Jazz_Skywalker

    Jazz_Skywalker Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2002
    I too am glad that Nejaa found Anakin first. Obi-Wan would have just scolded him, and that is definitely not what he needs right now.
     
  5. VA_Parky

    VA_Parky Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 10, 2005
    Wow, Nejaa is so cool. He really adds a great aspect to this story, Daenarrah! Don't get me wrong, I adore Obi-wan with my entire heart and soul, but Nejaa just 'gets' Anakin on a whole different level. It's really fascinating to see the interactions between the three men - I'm enjoying it very, very much! :D

    You did a fantastic job with this chapter - all your hard work was clearly worth it. There's nothing more frustrating than a section that won't come together, is there? [face_frustrated] But wow - you would have never guessed it after reading this masterpiece. It was perfectly done and delivered just the right amount of angst and uncertainty! =D= =D=

    I CANNOT wait to see the ramifications. Will Anakin finally realize what his anger can lead to? Probably not - after all, he is a slow learner! ;) But maybe he will be a bit more hesitant next time...? [face_praying] A girl can hope!

    Way to go! Thanks for the PM - I love this story!
     
  6. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2005
    Oh, dear. Yes, I agree with another poster above that Anakin needs understanding, but he also needed to confide in SOMEONE.

    Great chapter - interesting to see how this plays out, the uneasy silence as it were over what happened and how it will play out.
     
  7. FitJedi

    FitJedi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 14, 2006
    Ohhhh Anakin... always letting his fear cloud his judgement, however I am glad that he has someone like Neeja there to help him through this. At least he understands where Anakin is coming from with his anxieties about Padme.
    I do hope they are able to recovery something from Verso's computer and that Anakin will finally be able to talk with Padme soon or at least get a message from her. He really needs something to help him relax a bit.
     
  8. rocketscientist

    rocketscientist Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 16, 2005
    Daenarrah, this is quite a plot twist! I like it!

    ?I killed him.? Anakin?s voice was monotone, yet firm. ?He deserved to die for what he did.?

    Nejaa swallowed the ruthless words, as well as the lump that grew in his throat, feeling them drop hard into his stomach and continued to stare at Anakin. He didn?t know what to say and he had no idea where to begin. It felt like a stranger was standing in front of him. This person couldn?t possibly be Anakin.

    Wonderful tension there! I could just feel Neeja's worry - more than worry - dread. Awesome!

    ?Padmé. He?s the one that?s poisoning her.? Anakin stared at Nejaa with a sense of disbelief. ?Don?t you see? He had to pay for what he?s done.?

    The words were not what Nejaa expected and he stood dumbfounded, looking at Anakin in his own disbelief. He knew the uncertainty about what was happening with Padmé was tearing Anakin apart, especially word of her false assassination attempt, but he had no idea it was taking such a toll. It was causing him to have irrational thoughts?

    This is very cool - I'm really liking this.

    You've done some remarkable things plotwise here. Keep up the good work and don't be afraid to take risks!

    =D=

    PS - I loved the character interaction!
     
  9. Jade_Max

    Jade_Max Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 28, 2002
    [face_peace] Nejja is awesome! Still a Jedi, but also the family man who understands, far better than anyone what Anakin's going through. I was on pins and needles until Anakin snapped out of his darkness. I can see how this was a difficult part to write, but you did it fabulously, darling! [face_love]

    I love how Anakin and Nejja interact, like brothers more than friends - in a way I think he'd have made a better master for Anakin simply because of his situation. But at the same time, Obi-Wan makes an excellent mentor because of the differences in their situations.

    Obi-Wan's observant habits certainly almost made everything fall apart there. I think when he finally thinks it though later, Anakin's "He's old, maybe the shock killed him" isn't going to sit well....

    I'm really looking forward to seeing what's going to happen next, this was just an awesome update. Thanks for the PM![face_peace]
     
  10. leia_naberrie

    leia_naberrie Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2002
    I really enjoyed how this chapter played out, with Nejaa at first wanting to be persuaded that Anakin didn't really do anything wrong, to him trying to convince Anakin to tell Obi-Wan. Very realistic. I think it was a good thing that Nejaa got to Anakin first before his own Master. Of the two older Jedi, Nejaa is in a better position to understand and that's precisely what Anakin needs.



    I do worry about Anakin's mental state - convincing himself that Padme is being poisoned and that this totally unrelated-to-her character is responsible for it.
     
  11. randomangel22

    randomangel22 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 11, 2006
    I love Nejaa such a good friend to Anakin [:D]!!

    And leave it to Obi-Wan to totally be observant of his surroundings :rolleyes:.

    This was worth the wait and a perfect chapter ;)!!
     
  12. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Every character is flawlessly portrayed here! Love it.

    ?And Padmé!? A strangled sob broke passed Anakin?s lips. It was one he had been holding for so long and knew he just couldn?t anymore. ?I just want to know that she?s all right, that she?s healthy and safe. I can?t take this not knowing.?

    ?I understand, Anakin.? Both hands were on his shoulders and Nejaa squeezed them in reassurance. ?Better than anybody, I understand.?

    ?I had to do something,? Anakin said roughly.

    Nejaa didn?t need to hear anymore; he knew exactly what Anakin meant by those words. He had seen first hand what not hearing from Padmé had done to his young friend. Their conversations and that one sparring match on the Stargazer was all the evidence he needed. Here on the surface, he saw erratic behaviors that while Obi-Wan dismissed them due to impatience, he knew were because his fear and anxiety about Padmé was overwhelming him and knocking out his ability to think rationally. By the time they had gotten into the city and had reached the lab Anakin?s level of desperation and feeling of complete helplessness was so high all clear thought was gone.

    When Anakin said he had to do something, he had to find a way to purge his anxieties. Unfortunately for Verso Beddect, he had become the means to do that.

    ?I know you did,? he said quietly.

    Nejaa had never faced a situation like Anakin had. But then his wife wasn?t a public figure who had faced multiple death threats and attempts on her life. Still, if he?d had to endure what Anakin had the past several months and not know if Scerra or Valin were healthy and safe would he have acted in a similar way? A part of him said yes. The thought made him shudder.

    Anakin saw it in Nejaa?s eyes; his own grim realization of what he might do in a similar situation. A part of him relaxed at that silent revelation. He didn?t feel so alone in his actions.


    Neeja really is the only one who can truly understand right now. Anakin needs both Neeja AND Obi-Wan, I think.

    =D=
     
  13. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2005
    Oh my. Neeja has finally gotten a good look at Anakin. At least he's concerned.

    I loved that he was able to talk some sense into Anakin.

    Poor Obi-Wan - Neeja should have seen the wisdom of telling him the truth right away.

    Great update

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
     
  14. AnakinsFavorite

    AnakinsFavorite Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 10, 2006
    Oh, I'm so sorry for my delay in reading this post- I've been sick. *Coughs on threads as proof*

    Anakin turned his head slightly to meet Nejaa?s eyes. His gaze solid and, from what Nejaa could see, there was something dark flickering behind the blue. ?I killed him.? Anakin?s voice was monotone, yet firm. ?He deserved to die for what he did.?

    Well, that was an ominous and bone-chilling line if I ever read one.

    ?It was self defense, right?? he asked, a frantic tone creeping in on the edges of his words. He was pleading inside that it was. Why else would Anakin use the Force in such a manner? He grabbed Anakin?s arms and shook him, demanding an answer. ?Anakin, tell me it was in self defense!?

    Wow? that was creepy. I have a bad feeling about this?

    Ack! Everything?s coming full circle! (Not that it?s a bad thing!)

    Please, do hurry and post soon!
     
  15. satanat_solo

    satanat_solo Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Sep 12, 2005
    yey! an update! [face_dancing]

    Hmm.. Neeja is a very understanding man isn't he?
    I hope he's not to understanding... bad anakin, killing people, tsk tsk. (not that i can blame him:p )

    lovely up, this is one of my favourite fanfics :D
    (I hope nothing to painfull has happened to poor padme since we last checked in on her?)

     
  16. Venus_Star2-com

    Venus_Star2-com Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    May 29, 2005
    I seemed to have dropped of the boards...not by choice but I'm invovled with the fringe festival ( its a huge arts festival in adeliade) and it has taken up my time but seeing this story again made me smile and then i read the chapters and i was

    "I HAVE MISSED THIS!!! ARGH" so please update soon


    and someone please put anakin;s mind at ease


    rachel
     
  17. Across_The_Stars-24

    Across_The_Stars-24 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Oct 27, 2005
    Thanks for the pm. The chapter was fantastic.

    I am glad Neeja found Anakin first. He is a little bit understanding than Obi Wan.

    Obi Wan & Anakin are still miscommunicating. I think they will miscommunicate cause Obi Wan will never understand the meaning of love.

    Can't wait for more.
     
  18. Star_Angel

    Star_Angel Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 18, 2006
    Wow, I don?t know how I feel about the lie but I guess that it?s for the best for now. Amazing update and thanks for the pm.
     
  19. Daenarrah

    Daenarrah Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2005
    I said I'd get replies done and I did. [face_dancing] Go me! They're not my usual responses. They're rather short. I'd like to thank everybody for reading and letting this chapter be a success. I was uncertain about having Anakin kill Verso but I'm glad I went through with it. Then pulling this chapter together was a real pain. I must say people's reactions were around what I was hoping for so that makes me very happy.



    DarthSilious: Nejaa can relate to and understand Anakin so much more right now than Obi-Wan can. That?s both a good and a bad thing when you think about it.


    Jazz_Skywalker: Anakin definitely needs someone who understands him right now with all that?s going on with Padmé. Nejaa happens to fit that description.


    VA_Parky: I love Nejaa. [face_love] I wish he had appeared more. And you?re right; he does ?get? Anakin on a whole new level. He understands him in a way Obi-Wan never will. And I adore Obi-Wan too. There?s just so much that could have been done with Nejaa and Anakin?s marriage secret.


    Valairy_Scot: I wish Anakin would have confided in Obi-Wan more but he had Nejaa there who just understands him so much better right now. I don?t necessarily consider it to be right because what will Anakin do once him and Nejaa are separated for other missions, but it?s working right now.


    FitJedi: I think Anakin would be lost by now, and I also mean to the Dark side, by now without Nejaa there. He?s so wound up right now that he needs anything to calm him. Hearing from Padmé would help him out a lot.


    rocketscientist: I have to say having Anakin kill Verso was a big risk for me. I was so worried about everyone would react that I almost didn?t take, but I?m glad I did. I?m loving the reaction it?s getting. It?s one plot twist I?ve become very proud of.


    Jade_Max: It?s fun writing Anakin?s and Nejaa?s scenes. They have that connection that no one else has and I love exploring it and drawing comparisons and similarities. I agree with you too, they are more like brothers. Cool! And I think sometimes Obi-Wan is too observant for his own good, especially when Anakin and Nejaa aren?t quite telling the whole truth. ;) [face_laugh]


    leia_naberrie: I struggled so much with what Nejaa?s reaction would be that I thought it would never come together. Like you mention, he?ll understand much better than Obi-Wan but he still feels Anakin has to tell Obi about what he did. And, unfortunately, Anakin?s mental state isn?t the best right now. I want to give him a hug. [:D]


    randomangel22: Nejaa is just the friend Anakin needs right now otherwise I think he would have lost it. And you might say Obi-Wan is just being his usual self. Gotta love him for it, though.


    VaderLVR64: Thank you so much for the kind words. [face_love] And this chapter was such a pain to write too. :_| I completely agree about Anakin needing both Obi-Wan and Nejaa. They understand him in different ways which helps him out so much.


    KELIA: I think it?s one of those things where Nejaa heard about but never actually saw when Anakin went, for lack of a better word, dark. Now he has and is worried about how it?s affecting him. As for not telling Obi-Wan what fully happened, Nejaa feels that?s something Anakin needs to tell him.


    AnakinsFavorite: Anakin?s not one for subtlety at the present moment, is he? He just says it like it is, damn the reasons. :D And there?s nothing like coming across a dead body with your friend standing over it, looking all dark and ominous, and wondering what the hell happened. Poor Nejaa.


    satanat_solo: Well, Nejaa did come to the realization he?d most likely react in a similar way if it was his wife and/or son in danger. He understands that way, for sure. But yeah, the killing people, not a good thing. [face_not_talking] And we?ll be getting back to Padmé soon.


    Venus_Star2-com: There?s a
     
  20. Daenarrah

    Daenarrah Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2005
    Like with Leave the Pieces Where They Fall I was able to get another chapter written for this fic. My son's still in bed so I'm able to post it. The med change is going well too so, hopefully, I'll be back a bit more next week and able to reply to some of the fics that have been updated. There's quite a few but they've all helped make this time a pleasant one. I love being able to sit and relax after a busy day and unwind with an update.

    Also, thank you to everyone who's reading this. [:D] [face_love] Your support means so much. I love reading the comments and you've all relieved my anxiety over the last chapter. It just didn't want to come together, as you know, so it made me feel good knowing you all enjoyed it, and that it seemed to have the desired effect I wanted it to. :) (And I told myself I will get replies done. I personally hate not having done them.)

    Of course, before we go

    My PM list:
    VA_Parky
    KELIA
    Jade_Max
    Valairy_Scot
    Star_Angel
    VaderLVR64
    ehopepower
    Across_The_Stars-24
    FitJedi
    leia_naberrie
    Padlei
    G__Anakin
    merijune
    Jazz_Skywalker
    randomangel22
    Venus_Star2-com
    JediNemesis
    penpadme
    rocketscientist
    AnakinsFavorite
    DarthVaderette
    LVB
    Kyana-Morgaine
    satanat_solo
    laura_az
    DarthSilious
    Darth_Drachonus
    Lady_JediSkywalker


    Let me know if you want to be added or removed. Also, there a some readers who haven't opened several PMs. To avoid future PM problems I've had to take your name of the list. If you want to be added back on please let me know.


    -------------



    On the way to the lab Obi-Wan briefed Anakin and Nejaa on how he had ordered Commander Cody to secure the facility as quickly as possible. It was clear Beddect and his staff - though Obi-Wan had yet to see one - were fleeing. He wanted to make sure every exit was under lockdown and no one escaped. Meanwhile he was going to go searching for his two wayward companions. Anakin and Nejaa shared sheepish expressions at this last remark. Obi-Wan also ordered Cody to contact him once the building was secure and to inform him of anything of interest he and his men might come across.

    --------

    It didn?t take long for the three to find the lab, but what they found left them with extreme feelings of discomfiture and disgust. Examination tables and restraining devices and several other contraptions that they didn?t want to know what they were filled the room. Suspension tanks were lined up against one wall; on the other what appeared to be a breathing or air chamber.

    The three stood in silence trying not to imagine what horrors were performed here. They didn?t have to; they could feel it lingering in the Force.

    Nejaa looked over to Anakin to see how he was doing. The way he clenched his jaw told Nejaa he needed to do something. He could tell it wasn?t good for Anakin here. Looking around, he caught sight of the lab?s computer main frame located on a low mezzanine up off the floor. ?Let?s see if we can find anything,? he suggested, walking towards it. Obi-Wan and Anakin followed right behind.

    --------

    ?Just as I feared, there?s nothing here,? Obi-Wan said, checking the last of the lab computer?s memory banks. He had hoped, really hoped Nejaa would have been right and they would have found something, no matter how small and insignificant it might have been. It was clear, though, that whatever had been there was gone, thoroughly purged from the system. Not even a deep scan had revealed anything. All memory banks were empty - every single one of them. It appeared Verso had been better prepared for the invasion than they originally thought. He had successfully gotten the upper hand, somehow getting all his notes and information off the moon and leaving them with nothing with which to even try and create an antidote.

    Obi-Wan let out a frustrated sigh and ran his hand through his hair while leaning back in the chair he occupied. First, Verso Beddect was dead, now this. This entire mission had turned into the campaign fr
     
  21. DarthSilious

    DarthSilious Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Nov 4, 2006
    Oooh! First reply.

    Really well done Daenarrah! =D=

    Really disturbing what Beddect got up to but it was so well written. Really enjoyed it and can't wait for the next update.
     
  22. rocketscientist

    rocketscientist Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 16, 2005
    Uhm... I have the feeling that this quarantine is going to be really hard on Anakin in particular. Very interesting!:)

    Your dialogue is great btw!

     
  23. AnakinsFavorite

    AnakinsFavorite Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 10, 2006
    Oh, that was so dreadful (in a good way!) that it sent shivers down my spine [face_worried]

    The three stood in silence trying not to imagine what horrors were performed here. They didn?t have to; they could feel it lingering in the Force.

    Let's see how I can explain this without sounding wierd... I have always been interested by concentration camps... more or less the psychology behind it. What people can and will do to each other. It's so ghastly horrifying... and, if I could ever do anything in my life, it would be to make sure that those innocent nine million people who lost their lives are never forgotten. @};- Because of this, I found your post... I don't know what to say- horrifying? Touched something deep down? Made me want to scream? I don't know... I liked the fact that it made me think, think about people, and how low we can go :(

    I hope that made any sense to you :D Basically, your post inspired rumminations that turned into ramblings :p
     
  24. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2005
    Oh,now chilling...

    Obi-Wan is showing some real leadership qualities in this chapter, even more than usual.

    Excellent chapter!
     
  25. FitJedi

    FitJedi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 14, 2006
    UGH!!! 30 days of quarantine... how frustrating- at least they will be going back to Coruscant where hopefully everything will be ok with the three of them.
    You are so bad, I was hoping he was going to be able to see if Padme contacted him in this post but I'm guessing that will come in due time.
    Very interesting post, and I'm so excited that you updated- great job.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.