Before - Legends Birthright - Qui-Gon vignette - Sketchpad challenge response

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by UnderCoverJedi, Apr 29, 2008.

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  1. UnderCoverJedi Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2006
    star 2
    Title: Birthright
    Author: UnderCoverJedi
    Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn
    Notes: Written for the [link=]Literary Sketchpad Challenge[/link]


    ?You need to focus, Padawan,? the master chided softly. He stopped in mid-swing, bringing his saber up to a defensive position and waited. The low hum of the saber filled the still evening air.

    ?I know,? the young man replied, thumbing off his saber. He paused, frowning off into the distance. ?I just can?t today, Master.? He flicked an apologetic glance at his master. ?I?m sorry.? With a sigh, he hooked his saber on his belt.

    ?Perhaps you should tell me what?s bothering you,? Qui-Gon suggested after a moment?s pause. He too, deactivated his lightsaber. There was a time for saber practice, and it seemed that it was not now.

    A bitter smile twisted the fine features of the younger man. ?That?s just it,? he replied, shaking his head. ?I don?t know.? Once more, his eyes were drawn to the distant horizon.

    ?Is the Force speaking to you?? Qui-Gon asked, coming to stand beside his apprentice. Their shoulders brushed against each other and Qui-Gon could feel the tension quivering in the young man?s muscles. The Force had a soft voice that required complete concentration at times. To hear the Force?s whisper was one of the greatest joys of a Jedi?s life.

    ?The Force?? There was a snort of laughter from the Padawan. ?I don?t think so, Master.?

    ?How do you know?? Qui-Gon asked with a slight smile. ?The voice of the Force is sometimes subtle?hard to identify.? He paused for a moment, his own eyes seeking the horizon as well, as if he would see what the younger man saw. ?It is only when we are still and quiet in ourselves that we can hear what the Force is telling us.?

    ?I?m not a very still and quiet person,? the young man replied.

    ?So I?ve noticed,? Qui-Gon answered dryly. ?I?m a Jedi; we tend to notice these things.?

    A smile appeared briefly on the young face, only to flicker away like a candle flame.

    The two were silent for a moment, and then the apprentice spoke. ?Do you ever think that you weren?t meant to be a Jedi, Master? That some nosey medic found midichlorians in your blood and you got swept up in policies and procedures that brought you to the Temple way before you were old enough to decide what you wanted for yourself??

    ?I never quite thought of it like that,? Qui-Gon conceded. ?An interesting point of view, I must admit.?


    ?Well what??

    ?Do you ever think you weren?t meant to be a Jedi? That there is something else out there for you, maybe someone with whom you were meant to share your life?? There was intense curiosity in the young man?s voice.

    Young man? Qui-Gon mused. Closer to a boy most days, he admitted. Still, there were many years ahead of them for him to mature - to be seasoned into the Jedi Qui-Gon knew he could be.

    ?I think I am exactly where I was destined to be,? Qui-Gon replied at last. ?I was born with enough midichlorians to become a Jedi for a reason. If I was not meant to be a Jedi, they would not have been present within me?or I would have gone unnoticed for one reason or another.? He clasped his hands together. ?As it was, something brought me to the attention of the Jedi and I was deemed worthy by the birthright of what flowed in my veins.? He smiled. ?Just as it is your birthright.?

    ?So you are content with your lot as a Jedi??

    The question was more than mere curiosity; Qui-Gon sensed the boy?s intent interest in his answer. He did not want the correct answer, the one that the Council would have him give him. His Padawan wanted the truth ? whatever that might be.

    ?I am content.? He said the words with no hesitation or reservation. He was happy with his life as a Jedi, and if he had ever experienced regrets, they were few and fleeting. It was hard to argue against the will of the Force, though it was not often he had the urge to do so.

    The young man grew quiet,
  2. Glenstorm Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2006
    star 1
    Wow, that was good. Seemlessly written. :)

    I loved the quiet interaction between the two and Qui-Gon's thoughts on fate and the Force.

    His saber hummed in the quiet. Such a haunting promise of what's to come.

    Beautifully done. =D=
  3. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    That was wonderful.

    I loved the poignant conversation between Qui-Gon and Xanatos.

    I can imagine most Jedi faced those very questions at one time.

    Great response to the challenge

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  4. Takianna Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 22, 2005
    star 3
    You absolutly have Qui-gon nailed. Such a great portrayl of him. Loved it!!!
  5. Jinngerbread Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Sep 2, 2007
    star 4
    Awwww. I bet those words come back to haunt Qui-Gon later. I wonder if he remembers the advice he gave him later down the road. Especially considering we know how everything turned out in the end. I really liked that you didn't reveal Xanatos until the end. I thought it might be Obi-Wan, before Melida/Daan.

    I have to admit, Xanatos makes an interesting point, but Qui-Gon is right. The Force will provide a way if things are contrary to it's Will.

    He turned and saw intent blue eyes focused on him. There was a need for reassurance in the young man?s gaze and Qui-Gon smiled. ?You are a gifted Jedi, my young Padawan,? he said. ?Only the Force knows if you are on the path you are meant to walk.? He smiled. ?One day, you shall get the assurance you desire.?

    Excellent work. =D==D=
  6. dianethx Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    I thought you did a great job. I kept thinking it was Obi-Wan until the end. It was a good talk between Master and apprentice. Too bad Qui-Gon didn't find out what Xan really meant until it was too late.

    Well done!
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