Before Bittersweet Revenge. resopnse to the 'evil Obi' challange. Obi, Xan, short vignette

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Star_Angel, Aug 8, 2006.

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  1. Star_Angel Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2006
    star 4
    Title: Bittersweet Revenge
    Author: Star_Angel
    Characters: Obi-Wan, Xanatos.
    Genre: angst-ish AU vignette.
    Timeframe: Pre-TPM, Obi-Wan is 23.
    Summary: The bomb that Xanatos planted in the Jedi Temple's Room of a Thousand Fountains successfully hit it's target and everything changed for the worst.
    Notes: I just had to try this. Although, I warn you, I don?t know much about Obi-Wan before TPM and nothing about Xanatos, well, I read a little before I wrote this. Oh, and this is very, very short.
    The Challenge you are responding to: The ?evil Obi? challenge, I hope that he is evil enough.

    The three quotes I decided to use were:

    * "Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our point of view."
    * "In my experience, there's no such thing as luck."
    * "How uncivilized."


    ~o~o~o~



    The only thing that was heard inside the small, dark room was the sound of a lightsaber going on and off, on and off.

    The man that sat behind the desk had his boots comfortably resting on the wooden surface, the dim light that came from the small lamp above him didn?t light the room enough, and his face was covered by shadow.

    The door opened and a man walked in. His dark gaze moved over the desk to the man in the shadows who made a small gesture toward the chair.

    ?Obi-Wan Kenobi,? The dark-eyed man called Xanatos said as a half-smile spread over his face. ?I?m surprised to see you alive.?

    ?Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our point of view." Obi-Wan said wisely." I knew that you were the one that planted that bomb, you wanted us dead and I guess that you succeeded.?

    ?I don?t understand that, but I?m sure it?s true. You survived even thought you shouldn?t have, so I guess that means that you were pretty lucky then.? Xanatos declared and smiled.

    ?In my experience, there's no such thing as luck.? Obi-Wan said sternly and Xanatos fell silent. ?Was the death of Qui-Gon really what you wanted??

    ?Do you really want me to answer that?? Xanatos asked, looking at his feet.

    Obi-Wan got to his feet and moved towards him; Xanatos wanted to scream, but he couldn't make a sound. The once handsome face, something that not even he could deny, was gone. What was left was burning red skin that still looked utterly painful. His left was missing and he had a hideous, deep scar on his still functional side of his face.

    ?You see what happen to me?? Obi-Wan asked ?Do you see what you did to me??

    Xanatos couldn?t speak, the shock of seeing another person like this was enough to silence even him;

    ?What?s the matter, nothing to say?? Obi-Wan asked, laughing softly.

    Then Obi-Wan turned around and walked along the table towards the small, dirty mirror next to it.

    He stood there and examined his own reflection while his hand, which Xanatos now could see was made out of metal.

    ?I guess that you?re not going to say anything, so I might as well talk.? He heard Obi-Wan say as the man turned toward him again.

    ?We never saw it coming, neither of us, I must admit that it was a smart move on your side.? Xanatos nodded as Obi-Wan continued, ?The flames spread fast thought the room with a thousand fountains; you would think that that with a room with water it wouldn't have, but it did.?

    ?Qui-Gon died early, I guess that he was lucky, he never had to see what happen to the others, to the Jedi burning to death, or hear the screaming of pain,? he got a sad look in his eye. ?Or me.?

    ?I woke up almost a month later and this is what I had left..." he said pointing at his face. "A destroyed face and they told me that the damages on my right arm were untreatable, and they had to replace it,? He paused for a moment. ?And look at me now; I feel like am more a machine then a man.?

    Xanatos nodded again, still unsure what to say.

    ?But I guess that I should thank you.? Obi-Wan said and as their eyes met, Xanatos saw something twisted hiding in there, watching him like a beast watchea its prey.
  2. yuna_kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 1, 2006
    star 3
    wow![face_thinking]

    terrific fic!=D=

    poor obi!...:_|

    nice...in a twisted way...=D= :_|

    (first review!)
  3. UnderCoverJedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2006
    star 2
    Nicely done! =D= It was twisted, yes, but good. =D=
  4. JadeSolo Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2002
    star 6
    Some say he died right afterwards, too tired to live and so he had killed himself, other say that he is still out there, waiting for the eternal rest to claim him, too proud or too much of a coward to end it himself?

    Nice! You definitely made him evil enough, and I really like the uncertainty at the end. Not to mention Xan's twinge of regret. I hope you do more in Before. :D
  5. Kestrel_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    oooh, Star_Angel - yes, evil enough for me! What a unique fic...kind of scary and yet sad. Poor Qui and Obi :(... Good job on getting all the quotes in as well!

    =D=

    and welcome to Before! :)
  6. Stella_Ripple Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2005
    star 3
    Welcome to Before! Hope we see more of you here!

    That was great! =D= A very imaginitive AU (*whispers* they're the best kind!) It really worked, quotes, backstory and of course the newly twisted obi! Great answer to the challenge.
  7. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    Very good response to a challenge
    all the required elements.
    Plus a good story to boot=D=
    Loved the twisted Obi-wan [face_devil]
    and the helpless Xanatos.

    Nice job.[face_dancing]
  8. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    WOW - what a great response to the challenge.

    I can't really blame Obi-Wan for wanting to kill Xanatos.

    Nice job on this

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  9. Star_Angel Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2006
    star 4
    yuna_kenobi ? Thank you so very much for reading and I?m so happy that you liked it[:D], but I agree with you, poor Obi:_|.


    UnderCoverJedi - Thank you[:D], I wanted it to be kind of twisted so I?m glad that I manage to do it:D.


    JadeSolo - I actually got the inspiration for that ending from Harry Potter, not that I?m sure that you can tell. Also, I don?t know much about Xan so I?m not sure if he actually could feel regret, probably not, but I though that I should give it a try.
    Well, thank you so much for reading[:D] and I do hope to write more in before sometimes:D.


    Kestrel_Kenobi - Thank you for the warm welcome[:D], and thanks a lot for the kind words[:D], I?m so glad that you liked it. Although, I must admit that the last quote ?How uncivilized? was the one I wasn?t so sure about, it was hard to find three quotes that fitted, I could only come up with two so I just picked one that could work[face_blush].


    Stella_Ripple - Thank you and I hope that I will have the chance to write more here, and I agree, I love AU?s;). Thank you so much for the kind word[:D], it brought a smile to my face:).


    Gkilkenny - [face_laugh] *lol* and thank you[:D], I?m so glad that it did work.


    KELIA - Thank you KELIA [:D], I?m so glad that you liked it, and no you can?t blame him, I probably would have wanted the same thing[face_shhh] ;).
  10. Gina Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2003
    star 4
    :eek: Whoa!! Evil Obi is so chilling! *shivers* VERY nicely done! =D= =D=

  11. leia_naberrie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 10, 2002
    star 4
    [face_shame_on_you]

    Not good. [face_shame_on_you] Not good at all. [face_shame_on_you]

    :p

    More like excellent. [face_peace] Or maybe even brilliant... :D but I'm getting carried away. ;)

    The ending was just Haunting:
    Some say he died right afterwards, too tired to live and so he had killed himself, other say that he is still out there, waiting for the eternal rest to claim him, too proud or too much of a coward to end it himself?

    =D= =D= =D=
  12. Star_Angel Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2006
    star 4
    Gina ? Thank you so much for your kind words and I?m glad that you thought so [:D].


    leia_naberrie ? Oh, feel free to get carried away, j/k :p...or am I ;), thank you so, so much and I?m glad that you liked the ending [:D].
  13. musingmiyu Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2006
    star 1
    *shivers*

    Obi is too scary in this story, but I thought you really captured the mind of a man who has nothing to lose after losing everything.

    Chilling! =D=

    I especially liked the conclusion...


    Some say he died right afterwards, too tired to live and so he had killed himself, other say that he is still out there, waiting for the eternal rest to claim him, too proud or too much of a coward to end it himself?


    You are now one of my favorite authors. @};-
  14. Star_Angel Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2006
    star 4
    I am so late with that and I?m sorry about that.

    musingmiyu ? I?m so happy that you liked it, and now I have a huge smile on my face, thank you so much [:D]
  15. Alley_Skywalker Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2005
    star 4
    Ah an evil Obi...how facinating!

    Great job=D=
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