Saga 'Black Hole' RE: The OC Story Dueling Circle Challenege Posted: 1/01/06

Challenge #14:
For your challenge, your OC(s) will fail, at what and how grand is up to you (the bigger the better). More importantly you must explore how they cope with the consequences, and what they do, or don't do, to overcome this failure.




Warning: The characters in this are Typo and Claws from my last OC response, but they are a bit less goofy in this fic. Think of this as an AU for these particular characters.



A long time ago in a galaxy far far away...

?Sharp right, Master! Take a sharp right! There?s a Sep droid on your tail - watch out! Missiles!?

Typo was so absorbed in his Master?s situation, he almost forgot about the fighter that was tailing him. He made a quick nose dive just in time. A barrage of laser fire exploded where he had been just milliseconds before. ?That was close.? Typo muttered. But he wasn?t even fazed.

Like many young Jedi, at only nineteen he had seen more and experienced more than many people would, even if they lived for hundreds of years. He had almost been killed hundreds of times over in space battles just like this one. He had seen people he had known since birth die, their precious lives snuffed out in a heartbeat as if they didn?t even matter. He had seen death. Smelled death. Almost experienced it himself. The galaxy was at war.

War. Just thinking the word brought a bitter taste to Typo?s mouth. Since the Clone Wars had begun, life had never been the same for him. He had changed. Of course, the war had changed everyone. Everyone had become harder in their hearts, it seemed to Typo, yet at the same time people had become more passionate, more caring. They had become more willing to die?to die to stop the war so that someone else would be able to live their life free of fighting, despair, and death.

Typo would never forget the day he and his Master Claws had been evacuating civilians from a planet named Valor. The home planet of a wonderful species called Shi?Wen who had lived up to the name of their home world.

Typo had seen people giving up their seats on the evacuation ships to people they didn?t know ? children they didn?t know. Only children escaped the horror of what happened to that planet. The adults had given up their seats so the younger generation would have a chance. The planet was later completely overrun by Grievous and millions of his assassin droids. General Grievous had decided he needed a new planet as his temporary headquarters, and he had chosen Valor. No one left on the planet was allowed to live.

The Republic had already been stretched far too thin by numerous other evils, and could only spare five evacuation ships to Valor that could seat a maximum of 200 passengers. 300 had been crammed aboard each.

Those people had given up their seats on the evacuation ships, to give those children a chance to live a longer life. Their efforts were wasted. Those children escaped the fates of their parents, only to experience one far worse. They put their trust?their lives?in Typo?s hands, and he failed them.

Typo tried to push the awful horrible memory further down inside him, to concentrate on the job at hand, but it was no use. The memory would haunt him till the day he died however soon or late that may be.

Claws and Typo had been given the assignment of safely escorting the ships to the rendezvous point. It had been a relatively simple assignment compared to some of the other things they had had to do. It had been a simple assignment, yet Typo had failed. Failed with a capital F.

Failed.

Once everyone who could fit was crammed onboard the ships, they had a flawless take-off until one of the evacuation ship?s began having trouble with turbulence. The children onboard the ship, already extremely upset from having to leave their parents and lives behind, were getting nervous. Some began crying. Screaming. Hyperventilating.

The pilot?s, not clone troopers but volunteers, couldn't concentrate. Their ship began to veer

 

Sweet DANG! What a powerful story, you really described the horrors of the black hole well.

The children being sucked into space...

Blood marks on the windows...

And the characters of the aliens on Valor.



Way 2 Go!

 

What the...Mere_K?!? That was truly heart-wrenching.
I loved your reponse to the challenge, I'm glad you gave us more insight to Typo. (It doesn't have to be AU for the two; just think of them as more solem after such a dreadful event)

-and the Shi?Wen, aren't they from Promise Fufilled?(sweet tie-in)

 

This is so sad! Poor Typo, the tormented soul! In addition to making a huge mistake, he was punishing himself endlessly. Excellent response to the challenge.

 

Holy Cow! That was good. I liked it.

 

Wow! That was incredibly well done!

 

Aiden_Sanic: Thanks very much, Aiden! (your response to the challenge was pretty good too )

corellian_ale: Thanks c_ale! And yeah, I originally made up the Shi'Wen for 'A Promise Fulfilled'. Thanks for remembering! (I'm terrible at remembering the names of aliens and stuff stupid me) Thanks again!

PadwanKayla: Thank you, Kayla!!!

Rogue_Pilot_2347: Thanks, Rogue_Pilot!!!!!! and to you!

Healer_Leona: Wow. Really? Thanks, Leona!

VaderLVR64: You really think so? Wow. Thanks very much, VaderLVR64!

 

That was written extreamly well. You did make me cry tho .



Great responce to the Challenge!




-Commander Tharen-

 

You were right about one thing...this is much darker than the other story with these OCs.

Very dark and sad. I noticed great improvement in your descriptions and pulling out the emotion. Very good work indeed!

 

MoeTharen: I really made you cry? Seriously? Wow... Thanks very much, MoeTharen!

Zane-Marit: You really think so? Whoa, thank you very much!

 

Fate has waved its cruel hand, poor Typo

I hope to hear from these two again.........
good job Meredith

 

boady22: Thanks, boady!

 

Very sad, very moving. And the part where the panicked kids come out of one of the ships was horrific. Very well written, though.

 

Ouch.

Beautifully written tragedy. Great work!

Can't just pop an emergency exit in space.
He watched in a horror-struck fog as one of the ship?s boarding ramps slid down. Somehow the horribly frightened children had managed to open it. They were sucked out into space, dying instantly, their mouths still forming screams, their eyes still wide-open with fear.

Bravo!

 

That was amazingly written, I really felt for the poor guy. Horrible how one teeny mistake can cause so much damage

And how he blamed himself so much

It really gave me pause for thought

 

Winged_Jedi: Thanks!

oqidaun: Wow, thank you very much!

ceridwen1977: Truly? Whoa. Thank you!