Beyond - Legends Black, White, Grey and Red - Ben Skywalker [DDC 2013] - Updated Aug 1st

They have a nice therapist. A very intense chapter with all the revellations

 

I like this alot..I liked Luke addressing his failing. I think Luke was so much into his own pain he forgot his own child, which is really sad..since Ben is his only son...and basically all he has

 

I agree with JL. EVERYBODY in the GFFA needs therapy. Dr. Maalanra sounds great, though.

 

My dad nodded. “Yes, for a while there, I did. But now, I know I’m needed and wanted here.”
Kegin let out a small noise. He asked something that shook my world. “Luke, if you found out that you were going to die tomorrow, would you be sad?”
“No,” my dad said simply. I guess my shock radiated though the Force. “I’d miss you, Ben, terribly and I want to assure you that I’m not suicidal.”
“That’s the thing, Dad.” I nearly started crying. “In your line of work, that kind of thinking is suicidal.”

This section just about killed me. I'm glad they are both getting help, that they can do this together and really get to know each other.

This was a wonderful update!!

 

I'm glad Ben and Luke are working through things. I can imagine Ben being shocked at Luke saying that he wouldn't be sad to die. And I can see Luke realizing that Ben is only 14. Children in the galaxy far, far away have to grow up far too quickly.

 

AN: Thank you everyone for reading!


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Entry 11

I guess this is my first entry for Kegin. Just FYI dude, I’ve started this journal already. If you want you can read the other stuff, there isn’t much you already don’t know.

I had nightmare last night. It was even worse than the one I had a few weeks ago. This time around both my mom and dad were strapped into embraces of pain. I wasn’t though. I was the one that put them there. I don’t remember much of the dream. I remember both my mom and dad glaring up at me with sadness in their eyes. Then I killed them both as Jacen looked on.

My dad woke me. He was already sitting on the edge of my bed. I guess he had been trying to wake me for a while – according to him I had been screaming in my sleep.

I remembered my dream in an instant and started to cry uncontrollably – gah, I’m such a cry baby these days.

“Ben, it’s okay,” he said, rubbing my back. “It was just a dream. I’m here and you’re okay.” He reached forward and tapped on my light. If possible, he grew more concerned about me than he already was. “Ben, are you feeling alright? You’re really pale.”

“I think I’m going to be sick.” Then I got up too fast and I ended up vomiting all over my dad. It was not a pretty sight.

My dad did not get mad, he simply let out a deep breath. He does that when he is trying not to get annoyed or angry.

“Oh, Force, I’m so sorry Dad.”

“It’s not anyone’s fault. Do you think you’re going to be sick again?”

I was going to say no, but then I realized that I was. I quickly nodded and rushed off to the refresher to do my business.

My father came in a few minutes later wearing a robe. I was hanging off the side of the ‘fresher.

“I put your bed sheets and everything in the laundry. Did you get any on yourself?”

I shook my head.

“Okay. I’m going to line my bed with towels and you can climb in there for tonight.” I followed him after I felt ready to stand. I entered my parents’ room to see my mother’s side of their bed pulled down and lined with towels. A barf-bucket was on the floor and a tall glass of water was on the nightstand. I felt a bit awkward as I climbed into bed, firstly because I was 14 and climbing into my parents’ bed and secondly because no one had slept there but my mom.

“Your sheets will be done in the morning,” my father said, trying to put me at ease. “I’m going to have a quick sanisteam. If you want to talk when I’m out, just tell me.”

He left and eventually came back and climbed into the bed. He looked at me. I knew he wanted me to talk.

“Is it normal for nightmares to have such gross side effects?”

“No,” he said, and then he smirked. “I think the dream, and the other side effects, were from the six-year-old fliss takenos you ate before you went to bed. You really shouldn’t eat things you find at the bottom of our freeze-box.”

I grunted. “If someone went grocery shopping, I wouldn’t have to dig to the bottom of the freeze-box would I?”

“If someone didn’t eat me out of house and home, I wouldn’t need to go grocery shopping every single day.”

I didn’t have a comeback for that one.

“So, do you want to talk about your dream?” he asked, trying not to sound too pushy.

I didn’t really want to talk about it, but I knew I was going to be guilted into talking about it. “Do you think I could ever become like Jacen, or like Vader?” I finally asked.

My father let out a heavy sigh. “After seeing a kid like Jacen fall, I now know better than to never say never. But you have been through a lot. I think if you didn’t fall after your mom’s death and after Jacen did all those horrible things to you, I’d like to think that it would take a lot for you to fall. I’d also like to think if you ever start going down that path, I’d be able to correct your ways.”

“Okay, thanks.”

I think my father got that I didn’t want to tell him my dream. He turned to tap off the light. “If you are going to be sick again or, you know, want to talk, just wake me.”

I went back to sleep and as luck would have it, I had another nightmare, this one was a lot like the first, except my dad and Jacen weren’t there. It was just me, torturing and killing my mom.

My dad woke me again, bucket in hand, calling my name. I was in cold sweats this time around. This time I felt terrible and knew better than to sit up. I grabbed the bucket, turned on my side and puked again.

He took the bucket from me and went to go rinse it out. I took a long swig of water. I then curled up into the fetal position and wanted to forget everything.

I felt my father get back into bed. “Ben, I think we need to talk about these dreams you’ve been having.”

I nodded but didn’t say anything.

“Ben, please. You remember when you were a little boy and you used to have dreams about monsters? You used to tell me about them and when you did they would stop.”

“Yeah, I remember. You used to make me hot chocolate and I would cuddle with Mom….” I couldn’t think after that. I just started to choke up.

“Are your dreams about Mom?”

I nodded and I told him about my dreams through my sobs. I felt like such a baby. Basically my dreams can be summed up by saying “I killed you and I killed Mom twice.”

“Ben,” my father sighed. “No one knows this but your mother and Aunt Leia. After I found out that Vader was my father, I had terrible nightmares about killing my loved ones, both ones that were alive and dead.”

“How did you deal with them?”

“I had them on and off for a number of years. It wasn’t after the whole Emperor reborn incident that I realized that I could and would never turn evil because I had family and friends looking out for me, as do you. I also learned that talking with someone about the dreams helped a lot.”

I nodded. “Thanks Dad.”

I’ll continue this entry later. Man I blabber a lot.

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He sure has terrible dreams and a caring father.
A nice entry

 

Aw ben don't feel like a baby. You know i often imagined Ben needing once in aawhile to sleep in his parents bed after Mara died

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Wow! What a terrible night. At least Ben is not alone for it.

 

Nice, showing versus telling. You show Ben's fears very well and Luke's caring. Whew! Talking is definitely helpful.
The therapy is certainly pulling things out I'm thinking that were pretty near the surface anyway. I had a good LOL at the teasing about the food and fridge. Ah, the appetite with the metabolism of a teen. Wistful

 

No one should have to go through what Ben went through.

Frightening nightmares and I do believe that if Ben talks about them it will help in more ways then one.


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"The Starman and Moon Goddess."

 

Poor Ben! *hugs him in my mind*

He shouldn't feel bad about being 14 and still getting in his parents bed. I'm 28 and when I'm home for a vist I climb in bed with my mom.

Loved the little bit about the food from the freezer and Ben eating so much as teenage boys do. I also loved Luke sharing his nighmares with Ben.

Great update!!

 

Poor Ben. I feel so sorry for him.

 

Poor Ben. He has so much to deal with. But I'm glad he is able to talk to his father, bit by bit.

 

Sorry for the late update, but thank you everyone for reading.


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Entry 12

Anyways, so after I talked to my dad about my dreams we went back to sleep. In the morning I woke late. My father was out of the bed, but I still sensed him nearby. I got up, slowly this time, and went to his study. He was there at his desk, working. He looked up at me as I slumped down in an arm chair.

“Hey, how are you feeling?”

“Worse than after that time Aunt Leia tried to make Fete dinner.”

He wrinkled his nose. “Please don’t remind me of that. Do you want me to make you some dry torla?”

I got up. The idea of dry torla sounded good. “I can make my own.”

“No, Ben,” he said sternly, getting up. “I am your father and you are sick. I need to start acting more like a parent.” I understood his meaning. He needs to act like a parent because he’s the only one I got left.

I followed him out and slumped down on the living room couch. He brought me my breakfast.

“I made your bed this morning. I want you to climb in there and get better. I’m going to go out a bit later. Do you need anything?”

“Mom used to always make me jodefn noddle soup when I was sick.” I said rather pathetically.

My dad smiled. “Only because my Aunt Beru made me it when I wasn’t feeling well and I made your mom make me it when I was sick.”

I smiled. I never knew that.

I spent the rest of the day in bed. That night I had no dreams and I’m feeling much better today.

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sorry for the double post

 

Very nice! I'm glad those two are getting better. You know in the profics I didn't like the Luke in exile plot, but it did give him and Ben a lot of time together, so that is a good thing. I guess it wasn't so bad after all.

Nice update.

 

Nice for Ben to have a caring parent.
Like the little references to Beru

 

Very nice father/son moment.

 

Very nice to be cared for and for Luke to do it, and such a relief not to have dreams.

 

I really do love this thread. Luke is a good father and that's something the profics didn't get right.

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Very sweet.

I like the admission that Mara only knew/made the soup at first because Luke asked her too.

I STILL can't find that 24th Century Computer Virus! I think it's under the Borg Cube debris but now I'm wondering if it's buried with the debris from the Destroyer or stored on the Helicarrier. They might be moving it just to keep it hidden.


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"The Starman and Moon Goddess."

 

Loved the Aunt Beru shout-out and a Skywalker tradition.

 

Aww...
I loved that Ben brought up what Mara did when he was sick and that it was actually do to Luke. Warmed my heart a little.

 

Thanks for reading everyone.
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Entry 13

A few weeks ago my dad decided that for his 60th birthday, he wanted to go on a trip with me.
After much debating (arguing) we decided on Garqi. We are staying in an amazing nature reserve. My dad took my mom there before they were married and now he wants me to go there with him. We are spending this week camping, hiking and swimming. My dad thought it would the perfect way to get out of any 60th birthday celebrations. For the most part he was, but I wasn’t going to let him off the hook that easy.

On the way there I made sure to remind him that he was turning 60 as much as possible. One time I waltzed into the main hold of the Jade Shadow and asked him, “So is Aunt Leia fine with you missing her 60th birthday?”

He glared up at me from his work. “You’re a shavithead,” he replied. “She’s fine with it because it’s my 60th birthday too.”

We went hiking on his birthday and I got in every old-man joke I could. Every few minutes I offered to stop for his ‘aching joints’. I was beginning to believe he was going to shove me off the top of the mountain… especially when I opened up my lunch sack and got out two cupcakes with large blue 60s written on them. Fortunately he just laughed and said. “You know what, I wasn’t sure that I was going to make it through today without crying.” He was talking about this being his first birthday without Mom. “You have made today very enjoyable, yet somehow, I still have the undeniable urge to do this.” He then took the cupcake I gave him and shoved it in my face.

I merely shrugged. “More for me. Besides, there are about two dozen more at the cabin.”

“Please tell me that those are the only birthday related things waiting for me there.”

“Yes, Dad,” I said honestly. “I didn’t want my old man having a heart attack from some stupid surprise party.”

He merely rolled his eyes at me.


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