Blatent drive for post #2000

Discussion in 'Chicago, IL' started by JediJeff13, Dec 6, 2000.

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  1. JediJeff13 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2000
    star 4
    Well, I have something to say:

    Went to a place called Turtles in Morris, IL. Little restaurant/pub place - kinda like a Bennighan's I guess. Anyway, on the kids menu, along with the standards of hamburger, grilled cheese and hotdog, is beer-battered chicken and beer-battered shrimp. No lie.
  2. JediJeff13 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2000
    star 4
    http://www.theonion.com/onion3712/action_figures.html

    But does he have the Ultarama???? HELL NO! :D
  3. Xmaveric Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 25, 2000
    star 5
    Hey penguin, that Summoner Geeks link didn't work, do you have another? I am assuming that this is the Dark Alewives dungeons and dragons spoof audio with the summoner video game characters, I've heard...but never seen. Show me, oh great birdie!
  4. Le_Penguin Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 26, 2000
    star 4
    Sorry to say, it was only on my friend's site for a few weeks. I can see if he can put it back on there when he gets back from vacation, but that might be a while.

    -Le Penguin
    "spin spin, sugar..."
  5. Mos_Eisleian_Radio FanForce CR Secretary Chicago IL US

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    Nov 26, 2000
    star 4
    I feel like singing about a town I've never been to. This rambling, epic song is by "Weird Al" Yankovic:

    Albuquerque

    Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait Shop... You know the place...

    Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was juuuuust peachy... except of course for the undeniable fact that every single morning my mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast. Dawww!! Big bowl of sauerkraut! Every single mornin'! It was driving me crazy.

    I said to my mom, I said, "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother, she just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train. And she leaned right down next to me, and she said, "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU!" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth and force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was 26 and a half years old.

    That's when I swore that someday, someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place, where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer, and the towels are oh so fluffy! Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long, and anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel!

    Wacka wacka, doo doo, yeah!

    Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true. Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest to see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt. I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize. That's right, a first class, one-way ticket

    to Albuquerque!
    Albuquerque!

    Oh yeah. You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before, and I gotta tell ya, it was really great...except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor. And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time. The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts, and the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore...and, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out, and we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside and the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died. Except for me. You know why?

    'Cause I had my tray table up
    And my seat back in the full upright position
    Had my tray table up
    And my seat back in the full upright position
    Had my tray table up
    And my seat back in the full upright position

    Ah-ha-ha-ha. Ah-ha-ha. Aahhh. So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage, I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days, draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag and my tenor saxophone and my 12-pound bowlin' ball and my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel. But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn where the towels are oh so fluffy! And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna. It's OK, they're clean.

    Well, I checked into my room, and I turned down the A/C, and I turned on the SpectraVision, and I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow that I love so very, very much, when suddenly there's a knock on the door. Well, now, who could that be?

    I say, "Who is it?" No answer.
    "Who is it?" There's no answer.
    "WHO IS IT!?" They're not sayin' anything.
    So finally, I got over and I open the door, and just as I suspected, it's some big, fat hermaphrodite with a Flock Of Seagulls haircut and only one nostril. Oh, man, I hate it when I'm right.

    So, anyway, he bursts into my room, and he grabs my lucky snorkel, and I'm like, "Hey, you can't have that! That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me."
    And he's like, "Tough!"
    And I'm like, "Give it!"
    And he's like, "Make me!"
    And I'm like, "'kay!"
    So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus, and I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows, and I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation, yes indeed, you better believe it. And som
  6. Mos_Eisleian_Radio FanForce CR Secretary Chicago IL US

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    Nov 26, 2000
    star 4
    (holds a flashlight under his chin)

    This is Post 2,000. This is Post 2,000.

    Phil
  7. JediJeff13 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2000
    star 4
    For a good, hearty giggle:

    http://www.liquidgeneration.com/howto_celebrity.html

    And check out "The Lightsaber". [face_laugh]
  8. BaseDeltaZero FanForce CityRep South Bend IN USA

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2001
    star 4
    Another good one is
    www.UselessKnowledge.com
  9. Le_Penguin Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Nov 26, 2000
    star 4
    I'm pretty sure I put this up somewhere before, but I've found a new wrinkle. Select the Elaine dance and click on the little kitty in the corner that's watching our hero.

    http://home.earthlink.net/~zefrank/invite/swfs/navigation.html

    -Le Penguin
    "My pistol is loaded,
    I shot Betty Crocker.
    Delivered Colonel Sanders
    Down to Davy's Jones' Locker."
  10. JediJeff13 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2000
    star 4
    Things I've noticed while in my car:

    People with a Jesus bumper sticker or that fish emblem are the rudest drivers on the road.

    Most of the billboards advertize alcohol.

    With all the d*mn moving construction they do on 53, fruit flies are older than the surface on that raod. Yet it still sucks.
  11. JediAutobot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 3, 2000
    star 4
    Somehow I just knew we'd see this thread again after Mav's comment in the Post Count thread.

    :)
  12. JediJeff13 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2000
    star 4
    Deep down......you missed it Autobot.

    "Search your feelings. You know this to be true!"
  13. Xmaveric Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 25, 2000
    star 5
  14. JediGemini Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 28, 2000
    star 4
    Where the heck did ya dig up this old fossil? ;)
  15. ProfessorMurder Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2000
    star 1
    Not unlike this topic itself, every screen name needs some time off to reflect. That said, say goodbye - at least for a little while - to Professor Murder.

    And please join me in welcoming the newest Designated Badass on the Chicago boards: Spicy McHaggis.

    -Professor Murder
    "See you in Hell, candy boys."
  16. Spicy_McHaggis Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Oct 9, 2001
    Hi, Everybody!

    -Spicy McHaggis
    "Open another big box of cheap wine,
    We're pushin thirty, we're doin just fine"
  17. JediJeff13 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2000
    star 4
    How about "Turd Ferguson"? That's pretty bad@ssed to me........
  18. JediGemini Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 28, 2000
    star 4
    Hello! I haven't seen this topic in ages!

    Bonjour, Spicy_McHaggis! Bienvenue!
  19. Spicy_McHaggis Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Oct 9, 2001
    Go to Hell.

    Please.

    BTW, to anyone interested in a guaranteed good live show (accent on "lively"), Dropkick Murphys will be playing at the Vic on the 19th. Intense show, to be sure. A Fun time to be had by all.

    -Spicy McHaggis
    "Slip a fifty to the wife
    And for each brat, a brand new five
    To give me a break on a Saturday night
    Up came A Bottle of Smoke."
  20. Spicy_McHaggis Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Oct 9, 2001
    Now why didn't I think of this....

    http://www.pornbomb.org/

    -Spicy McHaggis
    "We can't have nice things!!"
  21. JediJeff13 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2000
    star 4
  22. Bosh_Talk Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 29, 2000
    star 4
    This lousy thread only has 96 posts...we're never going to get to 2000!!
  23. Bosh_Talk Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 29, 2000
    star 4
    This lousy thread only has 96 posts...we're never going to get to 2000!!
  24. JediJeff13 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2000
    star 4
    Patience, my young padawan.

    That and a fifth of Stoli.
  25. Stardreamer Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 26, 2000
    star 3
    People with a Jesus bumper sticker or that fish emblem are the rudest drivers on the road.

    Okay, so I've got a shark emblem on the back of my car, what does that make me?

    Rudest driver on the road, but honest about it?


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