Chic, IL Blatent drive for post #......er....what number are we on?

I finally see why my job search has been going nowhere. DAMN YOU ROCKSTAR GAMES!!!!
****************************************************

Aries: (March 21?April 19)
Your health and dignity are equally important, but four square miles of ball bearings will make it difficult for you to maintain either.

Taurus: (April. 20?May 20)
You're technically in favor of people exacting bloody revenge, but everyone trying to do it all at once will seriously inconvenience you.

Gemini: (May 21?June 21)
You may be the best art thief on the continent, but your penchant for Lladro porcelain and collectible chess sets will keep your legend small.

Cancer: (June 22?July 22)
Not only is fusion sushi "so three years ago," but you apparently don't realize it has nothing to do with the musical stylings of Spyro Gyra.

Leo: (July 23?Aug. 22)
The population density of Wyoming is very low, but that doesn't mean the people there aren't also out to kill you.

Virgo: (Aug. 23?Sept. 22)
You don't like having limits imposed upon you, which is why it enrages you to hear Roger Miller sing "You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd."

Libra: (Sept. 23?Oct. 23)
The stars have something frightfully urgent to tell you, but the new Grand Theft Auto just came out, and they're not leaving the house.

Scorpio: (Oct. 24?Nov. 21)
You'll be credited with a new kind of piracy that is even less glamorous than "software" and "music," and a hell of a lot less sexy than "butt."

Sagittarius: (Nov. 22?Dec. 21)
As long as you're personally involved in the process, it'll be a terrible time to make career or romantic decisions.

Capricorn: (Dec. 22?Jan. 19)
The overwhelming sense that everything is falling apart around your ears will be reinforced by painful sonic and tactile cues.

Aquarius: (Jan. 20?Feb. 18)
All your money problems will be solved when an out-of-control armored car hurtles down your street, but not in a fashion you'll consider ideal.

Pisces: (Feb. 19?March 20)
You'll feel a certain sense of inevitability when you see John Waters sitting in the front row at your trial for the hair-dryer electrocution of your boyfriend.

 

Remember when jackalopes were considered weird?
http://www.creativeelectricstudios.com/default.asp?s=showShow&sid=13

-Le Penguin
"You keep out of this! He doesn't have to shoot you now!"

 

Lost Frog

There's a SW picture, but I won't tell you how far down the rabit hole.

~H~

 

"Lost Frog" is the new "All your base"....

 

speaking of strange internet phenomena, i miss these days.

Mr. T Vs. Everything

T versus Indiana Jones has always been one of my faves.

"It belongs in a museum!"

 

http://www.cnn.com/2004/EDUCATION/11/11/no.cartwheels.reut/index.html

In the words of Stephen so-and-so on si.com, "as kids become more sedentary and childhood obesity spreads, is this any way to treat an 11-year-old trying to get a little exercise?"

I think I'll go to the gym tomorrow...

-Le Penguin
"I wash myself with a rag on a stick."

 

The H*R guys seem to have gone a little insane this week:
http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail118.html

I wonder if that DVD is worth the $$$...

-Le Penguin
"It all started when I decided to drink 32 glasses of melonade"

 

Poor Compy.....we hardly knew ye.

SB best not get a Mac. Dat's all I gots ta say.

 

BTW - any know what's with the Transformer logo?


Autobot.....did you have something to do with it?

 

DeVrycepticons? That's messed up....

 

Nov. 22nd... 41 years of lies and counting, with no end in sight. Could it actually be getting worse?

Oh yeah, I almost forgot.

-Le Penguin
"Greetings:This is the Secretary of War at the State Department of the United States.
We have a problem.
The companies want something done about this sluggish
world economic situation.
Profits have been running a little thin lately
and we need to stimulate some growth
Now we know there's an alarmingly high number of young people roaming around in your country with nothing to do but stir up trouble for the police and damage private property.
It doesn't look like they'll ever get a job.
It's about time we did something constructive with these people.
We've got thousands of 'em here too. They're crawling all over.
The companies think it's time we all sit down, have a serious get-together-
And start another war.
The President?
He loves the idea! All those missiles streaming overhead to and fro.
Napalm...
People running down the road, skin on fire.
We don't even have to win this war.
We just want to cut down on some of this excess population.
Now look. Just start up a draft; draft as many of those people as you can.
We'll call up every last youngster we can get our hands on,hand 'em some speed, give 'em an hour or two to learn how to use an automatic rifle and send 'em on their way.
Libya? El Salvador? How 'bout Northern Ireland?
Or a "moderately repressive regime" in South America?
We'll just cook up a good threat story
in the Middle East - we need that oil.
We had Libya all ready to go and Colonel Khadafy's hit squad didn't even show up. I tell ya...
That man is unreliable.
The Kremlin had their fingers on the button just like we did for that one.
Now just think for a minute - We can make this war so big - so BIG.
The more people we kill in this war, the more the economy will prosper.
We can get rid of practically everybody on your dole queue if we plan this right.
Take every loafer on welfare right off our computer rolls
Now don't worry about demonstrations - just pump up your drug supply.
So many people have hooked themselves on heroin
and amphetamines since we took over, it's just like Vietnam.
We had everybody so busy with LSD they never got too strong.
Kept the war functioning just fine.
It's easy.
We've got our college kids so interested in beer,
they don't even care if we start manufacturing germ bombs again.
Put a nuclear stockpile in their back yard,
they wouldn't even know what it looked like.
So how 'bout it?
Look - War is money.
The arms manufacturers tell me unless we get our bomb factories up to full production the whole economy is going to collapse.
We all agree the time has come for the big one, so whadya say?!?

That's excellent. We knew you'd agree.
The companies will be very pleased."

 

Have a nice Thanksgiving you Tauruses:

Aries: (March 21?April 19)
Although nothing exciting usually happens to you, the law of averages will catch up this week and everything exciting will happen to you all at once.

Taurus: (April. 20?May 20)
What was shaping up to be the worst Christmas ever will be salvaged when you barely make it past Thanksgiving.

Gemini: (May 21?June 21)
You'll win an improbable bet by driving a stolen SWAT van through a burning oil refinery, but due to a lack of faith and foresight, the prize will be five bucks.

Cancer: (June 22?July 22)
An old man will finally teach you how to read letters and numbers. Since he meant no harm, you should probably stop the other villagers from burning him.

Leo: (July 23?Aug. 22)
If you think that nothing you do matters anymore, it would behoove you to consider your use of the word "anymore."

Virgo: (Aug. 23?Sept. 22)
You couldn't parallel park if your life depended on it, so it's unfortunate that, due to the alien invaders' strange emphasis on motorist competence, that's exactly what it comes down to.

Libra: (Sept. 23?Oct. 23)
Take heart: There are people with bigger problems than yours, and acting like you care about them will get you laid.

Scorpio: (Oct. 24?Nov. 21)
Yours is a story rife with pathos, sacrifice, and sexual intrigue, so it's confusing to see how pathetic it all sounds when you finally write it down.

Sagittarius: (Nov. 22?Dec. 21)
Your sense of triumph over getting a white rhino to mate in captivity will dissipate when the disgusted biologists inform you that they wanted it to mate with another rhino.

Capricorn: (Dec. 22?Jan. 19)
You'll achieve notoriety at the patent office after you discover a way to turn food into a nitrate-rich material useful in the fertilization of crops.

Aquarius: (Jan. 20?Feb. 18)
You've read everything you can on the subject, but it still seems to you that some stuff about religion just doesn't add up.

Pisces: (Feb. 19?March 20)
You'll finally get the public humiliation you deserve for using yellow food coloring instead of eggs in the batter at your British-style chip shop.

 

This is a joke, right?

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0764584596/103-4510411-5253459

Right?

-Le Penguin
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.asp

 

Ah, Jack Chick. Thanks. I needed a good laugh.

 

I just wanted to remind you all that there is just over 3 weeks remaining before I hand out my award. Get your votes in.

 

Methinks someone's been Googling their own name, which is always fun. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have high school classes to prepare in Utah....

 

Google mine and you get a no-talent limey "bastage" who's music is only suitable for playing in your Lexus SUV or at John Barleycorn's.

 

The top result for my name is some lame-o Star Wars geek in Chicago....

 

RIP: that guitarist guy from Pantera
http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/12/09/nightclub.shooting/index.html

I was never a fan, but geez... what a way to go

-Le Penguin
"Fuc&in hostile!!"

 

How can this be so accurate?!?!?!?

Bosh
Bytin' on my rhymes, stealin' my style..

 

From an article on the upcoming "Spamalot":
----------

The addition of Nichols' blue-chip credentials to the project sent the thing into another stratosphere as far as Broadway clout and viability was concerned. Potential investors now had the lure of Python zaniness and the ultimate name director. And then there was the very promising precedent of Mel Brooks' "The Producers." To a lot of people, the "Spamalot" project sounded like it could duplicate the wild success of that 2001 Broadway-via-Chicago venture. Actors got whiff of the plan and started to telephone in droves.

"I called my agent," Hyde Pierce says. "I told him I don't care what the part is, I just want to audition. I just could not imagine not being part of something this cool."

So what will "Spamalot" look like? The plot has been a closely guarded secret, but some things are leaking out. Although Idle will not be appearing in the show, Cleese will be playing the voice of God. On tape.

"I think we have some very nice moments," Idle says. "Singing cows. Things like that."

In essence, the show will have the same plot as the movie, with some of the same lines and the original two songs. But the character of King Arthur has been greatly expanded. Pretty much all he does in the movie is emit straight lines and prattle on about wanting to get the Grail. Since Idle has beefed up the war-and-conquest metaphors, Lancelot might take on more than a passing resemblance to Donald Rumsfeld.

And this being Broadway, there has been a big expansion in the role of the Lady of the Lake, who has gone from a quick reference in the movie to a full-blown diva played by Sara Ramirez.

"She's a funny, pretty girl who can sing and dance," says Idle. "She's the hottest thing."

And what about the problem of the ending? "We had a new one just today," Idle says. "That was number six."

God knows, they can do anything they want. Even people who claim to have seen "Grail" hundreds of time have no idea how it actually ended.

According to Nichols, the eternal Python love of self-parody also has been turned into a lot of spoofing of Broadway styles. There's a song that makes fun of the shows of Andrew Lloyd Webber and others, and theatrical conventions get lampooned. That's very much in the style of the original movie-wherein "Scene 24" gets mentioned about every five minutes for no clear reason.

But the biggest difference between the film and the stage show will be the music. Every famous piece of shtick you can think of now has its own custom ditty. Du Prez, who wrote the music with help from Idle, says the melodies are far from comic.

"In Python," Du Prez says, "I've always felt that the music has to be the straight man, so that the lyrics can be funny." In other words, Lloyd Webber only can be spoofed if the song sounds like actual Lloyd Webber; silly Arthurian lyrics only are funny if one is hearing recognizably stirring medieval music.

Idle, besides the entire book, has written all the silly lyrics. The success of the show hinges on how they're received. A lot of songs have been thrown in the trash.

"We've written this thing three times and Nichols still doesn't like it," Idle says at one point. "I'd have gone into rehearsal three texts ago."

Says Nichols: "This thing goes right back to my beginnings with Elaine [May]" in Chicago. "There is one criterion: Is it funny or not? If it's not funny, it has to go. If it is funny, we can move on to the next scene. There's no discussion of nuance or jargon or anything at all beyond that."

Idle will likely be spending Christmas with his wife's family in Chicago, tossing out songs and putting in new ones in the middle of the night.

"Eric is a philosopher," says Nichols, a man not given to lavishing praise. "He writes as low as fart jokes and as high as Heisenberg. He covers the spectrum. He's so highly intelligent, so highly educated and yet also deeply curious. He has enough grasp of the physical universe to be funny about it. Cleese is equally brilliant and equally curious, but he's a little bit

 

http://www.kontraband.com/show/show.asp?ID=1743&NEXTID=0&PREVID=1064&DISPLAYORDER=20041202142349&CAT=pics&NSFW=

Way trippy.

 

From The Onion A/V Club's annual "cheap toy roundup"
-----

Wolverine Talking Bobblehead
($5.99, from $12.99)

When the button on Bobblehead Wolverine's plastic base is pressed, his eyes light up and he says things like "One claw at a time!" and "Hey, bub, I'm not finished with you yet!" in a strained, nasal voice. Unlike the Wolverine from the comics, he only has claws on one hand; the other appears to be tightly clutching his Spandex-clad crotch, which might explain his hideous, pained grimace, swollen head, and hoarse voice. Thankfully, Bobblehead Wolverine comes with a Certificate Of Authenticity, so fans know this is an actual licensed piece of ugly, badly made disposable garbage instead of a copyright-violating piece of ugly, badly made disposable garbage.
-----

-Le Penguin
"It isn't even code-approved."

 

http://cnn.netscape.cnn.com/news/bigpic.jsp?photoid=20041213NYK351D_NYK351D.jpg&this=1&searchpage=photosearch.jsp&cap=Bush+Monkeys&w=ap+or+reuters&max=8&first=&fs=&floc=wn-np

 

I could type pages upon pages of disgusted rebuttal to all this, but it all just seems so pointless...

http://www.xoverboard.com/blogarchive/week_2004_12_19.html#001097

How can anyone take this guy seriously? It makes my head hurt. (be sure to follow the link about Israel, too)

-Le Penguin
"United States for United Statesians"