Chic, IL Blatent drive for post #......er....what number are we on?

there are, of course, no profanity restrictions at the Chicago Force Holonet, should you feel the need to swear.

i'd also be happy to purr expletives into the phone for anyone willing to pay my rather exorbitant fees. pm for more details.

 

How come I never heard of this site?

 

You must be deaf, dumb, and blind.

You sure do play a mean pinball, though. Sense of smell. Who would have guessed?

 

Gratuitous profanity is one of the mainstays of Chicago Force. That and pot roast.

Mmmmmmm, pot roast!

 

pot roast sounds good right now jeff. i'm cold and don't feel good. hey, how do you know if you have an ulcer?

 

A big hole in the lining of your stomach is a good clue. That, and vomiting blood.

(OK, seriously, I think one symptom is a burning stomach-ache, possilby when you are stressed, that goes away after you eat, but don't quote me)

 

ok well he don't know what is wrong with me so i get 2 medications and have to have an ultrasound next week. wish me luck. but the pot roast still sounds good. he told me NO caffine or chocolate. i think he is nuts. what woman can live without chocolate?

 

wait, wait, wait...women love chocolate?




--and sorry to hear you're not feeling to well Tex...good luck w/ the whole doctor thing....I personally hate them all.

 

fett, i agree with the whole doc thing. after having the blood work done, doing the ultra sound, and taking all my meds the stupid doctor has no clue what is wrong with me. so now i can go get a new script that will cost $108. i don't think so. any other suggestions guys?

 

I dunno. What are your symptoms? You wanted to know about ulcers, but I am guessing that's not it?

 

no it's not an ulcer. i had an ultrasound done on my gallbladder and there's nothing wrong. i am one of those people who can go to 3 different doctors and come out with no diagnosis. i stump even the good doctors. oh well. i will just have to live with it.

 

Thats horse manure!! (I really want to say the CORRECT word...) Doctors can go bend over backwards and have thousands of neddles fly up their black hole!!

I wish I could point ya in the right direction...but I'm no good with my own self....

 

Maybe you have a bun in the oven.....

 

ummmm NO. not yet. our 2 year old is still in the potty training phase. but by her 3rd birthday i hope to have another. then someone's gettin fixed!

 

Should we start a poll to see which one will get fixed? Or is that already predetermined...you know what...nevermind...dont wanna know...

/blush
/SLAP
/cry

I'm sorry....

 

My vote is for Jeff.

 

pains in the Tummy area, are the most difficult to figure out.

I do not know anyone, who got a quick/easy answer, and all were
unhappy with the solution when the problems were found.

for myself, after many......censored.....tests,
eventually went to the internet and just began plugging in my
symptoms and guessing at what might be a good test to
eleminate possiblities I was suspicious of and my doctors (round and round)
were not.

It got to the point where I did not care who paid or even approved
my hairbrained (or I do not advise this) ideas of what test I should have.

Eventually, I embarrased my doctor with a requested test,
...most of my tummy pains come from GERD.....which that test reveled.

Back to the internet to learn about this and also some clases at I.U.
have helped me a lot.......

Best of luck to you on your quest to learn what the heck is going on.
It can be one thing or combinations....

NOTE: If it is ulcers.......well......most caused by a virus and can be cured!
Page 32 Suntimes 10-4-05......I learned about this long ago at a class at I.U.
2 Australians will get Nobel Prize for this.........and all those years doctors
said it was spicy food and stress.......hhhhhmmmmmm

 

I think we should all become doctors...they get paid lots of money to know jack shiznit about whats wrong with us! I have been to multiple docs about my back problems, and EVERY one of them says something different...even when looking at the same frickin MRI!!

There has to be some internet thing where we can get some kind of liscense (fake or real) and open up the Chicago Force Health Center...we take care of nothing, but you still pay us...

...I think I'll end here...

 

I'm a doctor...

<.<



>.>

Now swallow these....*Hands Fett many differently colored capsules*

 

*he's probablly all hopped up on goodballs*

 

My mommy told me never to take candy from a stranger... She didn't say anything about pills though!! I only want the red ones!! The rest we can feed to the dog.

 

I may have found one of my Christmas presents, now I only have to find someone that loves me enough to buy if for me.

Calvin & Hobbs

~H~

 

First Reaction:


Second Reaction:


I want this.

 

Two things:

- Damn you monkeys
- goat.....beware of MaraJadeSkywalkerFF

************************************************************************

Aries March 21 - April 19
The corpse of 16th-century astronomer Nicolaus Corpenicus will rise from the grave this week to explain, once and for all, that the universe does not revolve around you, you self-centered prick.

Taurus April 20 - May 20
The old adage "Don't count your chickens before they hatch" will feel very apt next week when you're forced to return over $200 worth of baby clothes and cigars.

Gemini May 21 - June 21
After forgetting to take your medication for five days straight, you'll have no trouble explaining the voices in your head; however, it will be much harder to explain why they all sound like Rosie Perez.

Cancer June 22 - July 22
You've always been the type to see the glass half-full, but that will change next week when you start drinking.

Leo July 23 - August 22
Any hesitation you have in summoning the underworld demon Astaroth will be more than canceled out by your eagerness to sacrifice a goat.

Virgo August 23 - September 22
Your decision to purchase a pair of cargo pants was based entirely on the number of Hot Pockets they could hold.

Libra September 23 - October 23
You've never believed in the theory of evolution, but lately you just can't shake the feeling that the monkeys at the zoo seem to be improving their aim.

Scorpio October 24 - November 21
Circumstance will prove again and again this week that only half of the old saying, "If it bends it's funny; if it breaks, it's not" applies to femurs.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21
While everyone says that there's more than one way to skin a cat, you have never been able to come up with more than 57.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19
The effects of your four-year tour in the U.S. Navy become especially evident this week when, despite hours of trying, you are physically and mentally incapable of finishing a plate of Captain Highliner's Fish Sticks.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18
You'll die a grisly and violent death next week after being chased around the tri-state area by sumo wrestlers, but not in the manner you expect.

Pisces February 19 - March 20
Scientists have predicted that, one day soon, tiny robots will travel through our bodies repairing damage on the cellular level, but tomorrow, giant robots will hurl your body over the horizon, shattering it beyond repair.