Chic, IL Blatent drive for post #......er....what number are we on?

Sid Hoffman

-Le Penguin
"There's a sock on me?"

 

Sid Hooooofffffrenchman. Sorry, you lose.

 

This is the stupidest game ever.

-Le Penguin
"Hey, crapface. Why don't you blow it out your ear?"

 

You're just mad cuz you keep losing.

 

I dare you not to laugh!!


Best email since burninating the peasants. That's not to say the other inbetween were crap.



Fangoriously......

 

I wanted to laugh, but a gelatinous linebacker interrupted me....

 

That was great.

 

Excellent email this week (look for the cameo by Eh! Steve!) tho I'm still partial to "The Cheat is not dead" email, which came in between Trogdor and this one...

-Le Penguin
"It's cinnamon."

 

Arr... Permission to come aboard!

Try http://www.fidius.org/quiz/pirate.php to find out your pirate name.
Mine is Bloody Charity Kidd.
Every pirate lives for something different. For some, it's the open sea. For others (the masochists), it's the food. For you, it's definitely the fighting. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

 

Is this fairly new, or am I really slow to come across it?

http://www.scoutwalker.com/

(Sorta adult oriented, but not really)

-Le Penguin
"It's dot com!"

 

www.scoutwalker.com

That is so wrong, in so many ways... and yet so freakin' hilarious!

 

www.scoutwalker.com

Oh MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I gots a question:

Just what are they teaching in school? Or even better yet, just how lax are the requirements to leave high school?


I was only wondering. See, I was in Burger Whop the other day with my son. At a nearby table, there were a couple girls with a mom. One was a senior, the other a junior. Being homecoming time o' da year, and the new trend seeming to be writing alllllllll over their clothes, they took this to the extreme and had their shirts, shoes and pants just plastered with words, phrases and names from their classmates. The part I question is two fold: what HS allows "Seniors kick ass!" to be proudly displayed on an article of clothing, and why in the world are we graduating students that don't know the proper use of your and you're?


And these are the kids that will support me as I get older and take care of me in the home........<shiver>

 

Oh your just being hard on them.

 

R.I.P., brother:

http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/TV/10/22/rerun.obit/index.html

-Le Penguin
"Hey, Rog. Hey, Dwayne."

 

Heh... Bosh said "hard on."

-Professor Murder
"Oh dear God just give me one channel!!"

 

Jeff: I don't think it's the standards that have been relaxed, but rather a general sense of apathy on the part of the people of the United States. I personally know of people who have graduated high school and still do not know how to read and write. How can that be possible? The standards and tests are there, they simple aren't enforced. Some schools would rather pass a student that have to deal with them for one more year, and the parents are so disconnected from their child's life that they either A) do not know or B) do not care. If you have ever watched the Jay Leno segment "Jaywalk All-stars" you will know what a sorry state we are in as a society. When I was living in Europe, I was in an area that had quite a bit of contact with people from the U.S., and one couple made the comment that in the 20 years that they had been there, I was the first literate American they had met. And that's from the people that LIKE us.

Don't get me wrong, I love this country. I wouldn't want to live (permanantly) anywhere else. We do have our problems, though, and lots of them. Sometimes I think we should change our motto from "The Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave" to "We're not perfect, we're just better than everywhere else".

On a completely unrelated note, I wanted to share this sad story with you. Before you rush to make a comment on it, though, I would like to make two things clear:

1. Do not post anything about how we need stricter gun controls laws here. Taking our guns away is not control, it's oppression. Good gun control is teaching children from a very early age the proper care, use, and respect they need to use with a firearm. Cars kill more people in a day than handguns do all year. Both can be dangerous weapons if not handled properly.
2. This story is not irony. It could, however, be considered pathos. Alanis, I love you (truly, I do), but your song is very grammatically inaccurate.

 

just don't get me started on the difference in generations thing.....
I start to sound like my parents did (rest their souls).....

 

I'm not gonna rail about the need of more gun control. There are plenty of laws on the books. The real issue, in my opinion, is enforcing them. It almost seems like the people that help make the rules, which make the masses happy, sneak about and find a way to keep the rules from being enforced.

So no, don't add more gun laws on the books (btw, I hate the NRA), just stop spending the money on stupid crap like $400 hammers and planes that can't fly and protect the people that actually, and stupidily (is that a word?) voted your sorry @sses in.


Speaking of wasting money, I have the perfect idea for the perfect plane. Okay, stealth is the way to go, right? Here's the deal-o. Hire a crapload of the best Hollywood special F/X people. Train them in some combat crap, but mainly get them into the Rangers or Seals or something. Now, when some dufus overlord threatens us, land that elite team into the country. Wait a few days, then let the team go to work rigging the place with C4, primacord and all that movie shizzzznit. Then blow it up good. Back at home, throw the Joint Chief of Staff on the tube and have him talk about the new stealth plane that drop a bomb on the suckers. They'll check their radars and realize they saw nothing. Next time the foreign dude starts trouble, just get on TV and annouce how a fleet of the new planes will be mobilized in the area. End of issue.



I got smarts. Keep 'em in a jar by my bed.

 

"Before Foreplay - if you have the chance - you should try and make yourself presentable and also set the scene. Even as a rampaging killing-machine out on the battlefield for weeks at a time you can still 'be prepared' by following basic daily hygiene as much as is practical. Cleaning you teeth, descaling your turrets, bathing daily - all are important not just in attraction of a mate but to prevent them pounding away screaming from your side when your drop your fetid armour and reveal the true putrescence beneath."

 

1) Take the concept of "Twisted Toyfare Theatre".
2) Use (mostly) Japanese monster toys instead of (mostly) super-hero toys.
3) Stir in a few dashes of humor not unlike "South Park", and another dash of "Beavis & Butthead".
4) Garnish with occasional social commentary.
5) Put it up on the Web once or twice a week.

Congratulations! You've just mixed up Twisted Kaiju Theater (found at www.neomonsterisland.com), an admitted rip-off of TTT but a funny one, IMO. Even if you're not a daikaiju fan, you might want to check out the archives for a laugh... be warned, though, that they do get foul-mouthed from time to time, so sensitive readers might want to avoid it.

If you do go, keep an eye out for the character of Grendel. He's portrayed by a super-deformed Godzilla that has been customized in a way that the 501st would appreciate. (See, there's a Star Wars tie-in to this post after all!)

 

I've seen a lot of things in my time: sex, drugs, perverse phography exhibits involving tennis rackets...

but I don't think I'll ever see a more creepy combination of events as I've witnessed tonight.

Matt, Phil, Dave... you all sicken me.

-Le Penguin
"Oh Holy Crap..."

 

There are few television shows in the history of the medium better than the short-lived "Action!" from 1999. The fact that it was short-lived probably makes it seem even better, since it never had to deal with being "past its prime" (i.e., The Simpsons, Jane's Addiction, Mario Lemeiux)

It's definitely not a show for kids, but but anyone over, let's say... 15 or 16 will get a huge kick out of it; the more one knows about Hollywood, the better.

FX reruns the 13-episodes from time to time, and decent VHS tapes of it are pretty easy to find on eBay for 15-20 bucks. Check it out, you won't be disappointed.

-Le Penguin
"I love writers..."

 

I just wanna know what the heck Matt, Phil, and Dave did that so sickened Penguin, man!

 

Matt behaved exactly as was expected of a person in his position, which was sickening if not surprising.

Dave proceeded to violate Matt's Constitutional (along with many other) rights.

And then there was Phil... I saw Phil dance to Front 242 at Exit. Thank Dog I was drunk; I sincerely hope he was, too.

-Le Penguin
"We are in very serious trouble"