Chic, IL Blatnet Drive for No Good Reason

Any non-SW news/links/rants that you feel like telling the world about? Dump 'em here!

Think a particular show/band/film/book/food/public figure is cool? Nor cool? Offer your opinion here and watch as everyone else tears it to shreds (topics to avoid: Krispy Kreme, Leno, Coca-Cola.)

Let the fur commence to fly.....

-Le Penguin
"It's deja vu all over again."

 

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought--
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One two! One two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

 

I have a severe dislike for several radio advertisements in my area. Be glad y'all live in the "big city" and don't have to deal with them.

(a little background here: my mother was a stickler for grammer and queen of the Guilt Trip. Any deviation from established grammatical rules was dealt with swiftly and severely, so it's turned into a pet peeve of mine)

There is a local auto/body shop that advertises that they "specialize in both cars and trucks". Considering that most people lump minivans in with cars and full-sized vans and SUVs with trucks, what they are effectively saying is that they specialize in everything. You CAN'T specialize in everything. "Specialize" means that you have picked one thing and become more skillful in that area, and less skillfull in another. You might be REALLY GOOD at everything, but you can't specialize.

There is another one for a local banquet hall that makes me turn to another station every time I hear it. The lady that reads the piece needs to learn how to read out loud. Here is how it SHOULD be read:

"Whether your party size is 10 to 450, the Mendota Civic Center is the place for your special occasion. It is excellent for parties, weddings, reunions, or any time you want to get together."

What happens is that the lady is obviously reading a paragraph, and she treats each line of the paragraph like a sentance, instead of pay attention to puncuation, so what you hear is:

"Whether your party size is 10 to 450. Or somewhere in between the Mendota Civic Center is. The place for your special occasion, it is excellent for parties, weddings, reunions. Or any time you want to get together."

Also, in the "party size is 10 to 450, or somewhere in between" sentence, the phrase "10 to 450" implies a wide range, and the "somewhere in between" in completely redundant.

Finally, there is the local nudie bar. Now, I am sure they are a fine establishment, but they really need to get someone else to write the print for their commercials. Here is their winner:

"Hey guys, are you waiting for your bachelor party to have some fun? Well, the ladies of the Silver Slipper Saloon are here to entertain you tonight."

What I want to know is this: what guy is sitting around thinking, "Boy, I would sure like to see some naked women, but I think I will wait until I find that someone special to share the rest of my life with, then count on my friends to arrange a rowdy bachelor party for me to attend."

I mean, COME ON PEOPLE, think before you advertise.

 

Ummmm.......ummm.....



planetary.

 

I never liked that McDonalds commerical that had the father waking the son up early to fish, and it turned out that it was fishing for fish sandwiches. The part that killed me was the first thing you heard in the commercial was the alarm going off. It sounds just like my alarm at home. I hate getting up in the morning, I don't need to hear that noise while I'm driving to.

 

Oh, and just to drive Hazmatt crazy,
"All your base are belong to us."

 

McDonalds is starting to smell worse than usual. I'm not adverse to fast food (I had some yummy nasty Burger King tacos this weekend and I can eat gyro meat til the cows come home) but something about the home of the Big Mac is starting to make me physically ill these days. Has anyone else noticed an increase in chemical nastiness there?

-Le Penguin
"Stop poking me!"

 

I'm actually tempted to give this (or a variation thereof) a shot...

http://www.formandcontent.net/projects/worldview/worldview.htm

 

Even though output on the Brunching Shuttlecocks site has slowed to a crawl, them guys is still prety funny:

http://www.brunching.com/streetfighter2-2.html
http://www.brunching.com/streetfighter2.html

 

hmmm or is it "all your base are belong to us"

 

Isn't that what I put?

Note to self, edit button is a good thing.

 

Someone set up us the bomb!

What you say!

Move zig, for great justice.

My beef with McDonalds is the beverages. I mean, I ask for Coke, and the drink I get looks like Coke, feels like Coke, even smells like Coke, but once it hits the tongue, the illision is over. What is that stuff, anyway?

 

www.funnyjunk.com/pages/squirrel.htm

 

I can't believe this page has existed so long without me knowing about it...

http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail.html

-Le Penguin
"The Cheat is grounded."

 

This has always been one of my favorites:

http://www.hackernetwork.com/flash/stickmen.shtml

Number 3 and 7/8 are the best, in my opinion.

And since someone had to mention Zero Wing, all your base ARE belong to us!

http://www.hackernetwork.com/flash/ayb.shtml

 

I love this. I don't know why, but it amuses me greatly.

~H~

 

what do you guys think of the Hamburgler commercials?.... and just McDonalds bringing the characters back..

 

I like the Grimance commericials, I really haven't seen the Hamburglar yet. But my question is, where's Ronald?

 

Ronald is ghey!

 

Not really a good Christmas lead-in week for you Sagittarians.......


Aries: (March 21?April 19)
Nothing can convince you that the chase sequence in Bullitt isn't the greatest love scene ever committed to film.

Taurus: (April. 20?May 20)
The stars say this is a good week for romance, but lately you've been getting the feeling they're not talking about you.

Gemini: (May 21?June 21)
You will come very close to acting heroically when you push an old lady out of the way of a hurtling bus and underneath a cement truck.

Cancer: (June 22?July 22)
Don't take next week's failures too hard: No one could have foreseen the sudden appearance of so many ax-wielding monkeys.

Leo: (July 23?Aug. 22)
Your neighbors are progressive enough to accept a May/December romance, but don't expect them to like your May/at-least-a-year-from-October fling.

Virgo: (Aug. 23?Sept. 22)
Certain shortcomings in your education and upbringing cause you to read meaning into the relationships among various celestial bodies.

Libra: (Sept. 23?Oct. 23)
You'll soon meet someone who helps you forget all about that previous bad relationship by forcing you to focus on putting out constant fires.

Scorpio: (Oct. 24?Nov. 21)
You will be bemused and bewildered to discover that you are mentioned in the creation myths of three-fourths of the world's cultures.

Sagittarius: (Nov. 22?Dec. 21)
Just when your life seems to be a never-ending series of miseries, disappointments, and small disasters, it will surprise you by abruptly ending.

Capricorn: (Dec. 22?Jan. 19)
Now that you've achieved exactly half of your life's goals, it's time to start thinking about eating a second whole turkey.

Aquarius: (Jan. 20?Feb. 18)
You will suffer humiliation and loss of reputation when your culinary experiments in Korean/Latin fusion blow an entire city block sky-high.

Pisces: (Feb. 19?March 20)
Your troubles will be over before you know it, but most witnesses will agree that you probably didn't feel a thing.

 

Well, sorry for my absence for the past several weeks, but I moved and once again Ameritech had to figure out how to install a phone line....which only took them 18 days from inititial contact this time.

Unfortunately I'm still on lowly Dial Up until the 31st (only takes them 1 month to install that).

In the mean time...what'd I miss?

I see some guy wants us to be in his fan film...and no one responded. It's my theory that when outsiders come to our boards and don't show any interest in our projects, events and even conversation that we rarely show interest in theirs.

I doubt the guy is reading this (but he may be). Is anyone even slightly interested in it? If so, I'll be glad to contact the dude and see just what this project is about. The last two Fan Films we were invited to be in turned out to be OK, but not exactly what we expected. One had a lack of organization and the other wasn't really Star Wars at all.

 

You're only saying that Bosh because you
weren't involved with The Skywalkers.

As for the johnny-come-lately, it seems like
he's more interested in getting people to give him money. That's why I've no interest in that project.

 

Every day, I run across something online that makes me question the validity of the World Wide Web at its very core (and I'm not just talkin about "pop up" menus.) Then I read something by Evan Dorkin, and he reminds me that not only does the web have its uses, but I'm also reminded that there are more important things to bitch about in this world...

http://www.houseoffun.com/athome/ejournal.html

-Le Penguin
"Is that gum?
Is that gum?
Is that gum?"

 

Click here...comedy ensues.

 

Yeah, that was pretty much inevitable. I think the Mac ads are the parody subject du jour, aort of like the Mastercard ads from three or four years ago.

Sorta like this one:
http://bantha.cjb.net/

-Le Penguin
"I didn't burn down the school! It was the butterfly, I tell you! The Butterfly!!"