Beyond Blood Trail (Post-LotF: Jaina, Tahiri, Ben, Jag, Han, Leia, Luke) Completed 11/4/09!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by YodaKenobi, Jun 24, 2008.

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  1. Kailene Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 17, 2009
    star 3
    Han and Threepio [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Baby Fat [face_laugh] Aahhh, the wisdom of a child.

    Go, Allana! Wow !! Didn't see that one coming. Fett got his butt handed to him by a seven year old. =D=

  2. YodaKenobi VIP

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    May 27, 2003
    star 6
    GMK: First and before the PM

    Way to go =D=

    D@MN! Allana just took out Fett!

    Yeah, she did. She's a Solo, after all :cool:

    I honestly didn't see it coming. The fight between Han and Fett reminded me of Obi-Wan vs Jango in AotC.

    Strangely, I didn't even think of that one and I'm not sure why [face_thinking]

    Allana's actions reminded me of Force Repulse.

    Yeah. Or Force-kickass :p

    Great post, can't wait for the next one.

    Thanks so much and thanks for reading and replying :D





    jedimasterjsa: Wow! That was unexpected! Allana just reminded all of us that she is the daughter of Jacen Solo and Tenel Ka. And she did it in a very BIG way!

    Yeah, she's a pretty badass little seven-year-old [face_cowboy]

    I'm going to have to agree with Han on this one, most definitely NOT the wisest decision he could have made!

    Yeah, apparently a human skull against a super-strong metal helmet is a losing battle for the skull :( Who'd have thunk it?

    But I guess everything worked out in the end, right?

    Yeah, for the most part. At least, for now [face_mischief]

    Thanks for reading and replying :D






    TSF: That whole fight was classic Han!

    Thanks, I'm glad you liked it.

    And I must say....way to go, Allana!

    Yeah, she is quite impressive. This isn't her first fight. Remember when she took out Aurra Sing with her "Safety Stick" [face_laugh]

    Thanks so much for reading :D





    Celsete: Great chapter!!!

    Thanks!

    You write action scenes so well, YK! I was on the edge of my seat reading this chapter! It had just the right blend of suspense and surprise, and I'm always awed by your creative ways to describe things.

    Aw, thank you [face_blush] I definitely enjoy the action scenes. Especially when it's a fight with a lot of emotional investment like all the history between Fett and Han. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    And I'm seeing more blood... in keeping with the theme are we?

    Maybe [face_whistling]

    I did not see Allana's perfectly timed attack coming. It's really sweet to see how protective she is of her Grandpa.

    She and Han seem to have a really good relationship. I haven't gotten a chance to write a lot of it, but I'm enjoying it (enjoying that part of canon as well so far.)

    As always, Threepio is just hysterical, and Han's chagrin with the protocol droid is just perfect!

    Glad you liked that. Han and Threepio are always the perfect team 8-}

    I'd write more, but my brain is fried after a long day of work followed by a grueling rehearsal...

    Aw, sorry [face_peace] What kind of rehersals?

    Can't wait to see what's coming next!!

    Thanks for reading and replying :D






    Magnuskn: Typical 3PO.

    Pretty much :p

    Excellent chapter all around... although it´s only two old guys beating the piss out of each other.

    Yeah, that's true? like a lot of my posts, actually [face_laugh]

    I *wonder* if Allana having shown her force proficiency to Fett will at a later point somehow play into the storyline of children being abducted by the Sith...

    You know, you may be on to something there. Great observations, btw ;)

    You really think that you can finish up this fic in only seven more posts?

    I think it's only 6 now [face_thinking]

    There still seems a lot to be done. Or am I smelling a sequel ( hopefully including time-travel to the Legacy era )?

    There is going to be a sequel. This is only the first of two stories. So you're right in thinking not everything is going to be resolved. There will definitely be some cliff-hangers [face_devil]

    Thanks so much for reading :D





    Draconarius: Sixth!

    Good job =D=

    I just know Han is going to regret not putting a blaster bolt into Fett in the sequel.

    You're probably right :( But I don't really think shooting an unconsc
  3. amidalachick Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2003
    star 5
    Wow. That post was just completely...wow!

    First, I have to say that I just love Han and Threepio. Their interactions add just the right amount of humor to the scene without detracting from the action and the seriousness of the situation.

    Han head-butted him.

    It wasn't the wisest decision of Han Solo's life and he knew it even before he felt the pain spike through his skull.

    Fett stumbled back in surprise.

    Han just collapsed.

    The fibercord whip connecting them snapped as a result, freeing Han, but he was too dazed to take advantage, seeing three of everything above him through a veil of something wet and hot that was running into his eyes. Fett's dark faceplate seemed to be cracked? or rather, Fetts' faceplates, as Han was seeing it. It took the bounty hunter a moment to regain his balance, holding his helmeted head for a few breaths before moving back towards Han and aiming his left gauntlet at his face.


    Sorry for quoting so much, but I absolutely loved this section. You've got Han's character down perfectly. And I like the realism - that he gets hurt (um...not that I want him to get hurt, but I hope you know what I mean! :p) and doesn't immediately magically recover.

    And Allana! :eek: She's definitely showing the best of her Skywalker-Solo blood. Yay that she took out Boba...and then convinced Han to spare his life. Hopefully that will be a decision they won't regret...but I guess if he tries anything again, she can take him on and not be so merciful. [face_devil]

    Sorry for this crazy-long rambling reply. This post was just so full of awesomeness, with a very OT-Star Wars feel. Excellent job! =D=
  4. Diamond_Revelation Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 25, 2003
    star 3
    Wow I figured Allana would do something - but I didn't realise that it would be that dramatic! I love that she told Han not to hurt Fett any more - she is the sweetest kid!

    Great chapter Yoda - I look forward to the next!
  5. canadianjedimama Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 28, 2008
    star 4
    Chapter 43:

    [face_worried] Oh noes... Jag's nose is bleeding... which probably means he's bleeding in other places as well. You know... [face_thinking] a nasty liver laceration, will shoot your coag's all to hell. [face_blush] Sorry, I'm diagnosing.

    Ahem...

    Sith summer camp, huh? [face_laugh] :_| [face_laugh] Dude that was a good one.

    I freakin' love how darksiders think of all non-Force sensitives are dumb. Liek, srsly. 8-} But I guess that just ups the epicness of the pwn-age when it's handed down by a mere mortal. :p

    And did I read that right, somebody in the IR got a hold of Lumiya's poision dart collection? Well, well, well... [face_thinking]

    Nice update.


    Chapter 44:

    Awww... Allana. :_| Poor baby! And while she acted out of fear in hurling Fett away, she displayed true Jedi tendencies when she granted him mercy.

    But we all know Han's a big softie and wouldn't have shot him anyway. ;)

    Good stuff.

    Cyn

  6. YodaKenobi VIP

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    May 27, 2003
    star 6
    Thanks to everyone who voted for this fic or Lands of the Dead in the Fanfic Awards. Blood Trail won for "Best All-Around" and tied with the excellent Darth_Marrs for "Best Ensemble." :) I appreciate your support.





    amidalachick: Wow. That post was just completely...wow!

    Thanks :D I'm glad you liked it.

    First, I have to say that I just love Han and Threepio. Their interactions add just the right amount of humor to the scene without detracting from the action and the seriousness of the situation.

    Hehe. Threepio is always good for comic relief. Definitely don't want him undercutting how dire things are though.

    Sorry for quoting so much, but I absolutely loved this section. You've got Han's character down perfectly.

    Thank you [face_blush] Han has always been my favorite, so that's good to hear.

    And I like the realism - that he gets hurt (um...not that I want him to get hurt, but I hope you know what I mean! ) and doesn't immediately magically recover.

    Yeah, I know what you mean ;) Unfortunately, despite what Leia might have said in the past, Han's head isn't actually harder than durasteel :(

    And Allana! She's definitely showing the best of her Skywalker-Solo blood. Yay that she took out Boba...and then convinced Han to spare his life.

    Yep, Allana is quite the hero. And at only age 7! :eek:

    Hopefully that will be a decision they won't regret...but I guess if he tries anything again, she can take him on and not be so merciful.

    That's true, she already kicked his choobies once :p She can' do it again.

    Sorry for this crazy-long rambling reply.

    I enjoyed reading it [face_peace]

    This post was just so full of awesomeness, with a very OT-Star Wars feel. Excellent job!

    Aw, thank you so much :D And thanks for reading and replying!






    Diamond: Wow I figured Allana would do something - but I didn't realise that it would be that dramatic!

    She's full of surprises ;)

    I love that she told Han not to hurt Fett any more - she is the sweetest kid!

    Yeah. Allana the Merciful :p I liked that she spared his life too. Bodes well for her future as some sort of Jedi.

    Great chapter Yoda - I look forward to the next!

    Thank you very much and thanks for reading and replying :D





    Cyn: Chapter 43:
    Oh noes... Jag's nose is bleeding... which probably means he's bleeding in other places as well. You know... a nasty liver laceration, will shoot your coag's all to hell. Sorry, I'm diagnosing.
    Ahem...


    I should really start consulting you on these things [face_thinking] Your expertise would probably help.

    Sith summer camp, huh? Dude that was a good one.

    Thanks :p

    I freakin' love how darksiders think of all non-Force sensitives are dumb. Liek, srsly. But I guess that just ups the epicness of the pwn-age when it's handed down by a mere mortal.

    Well, Jag was about to die in the end :p

    And did I read that right, somebody in the IR got a hold of Lumiya's poision dart collection? Well, well, well...

    The poison Alema gave to Morto after injecting him was a Tenupian bacteria to rub on it. Jag's disease came from Tenupe? whether it was something he caught there or something he aquired in one of his tussels with Alema in LotF, we don't know yet.

    Nice update.

    Thank you :)

    Chapter 44:
    Awww... Allana. Poor baby! And while she acted out of fear in hurling Fett away, she displayed true Jedi tendencies when she granted him mercy.


    I agree. I think she has a bright future as a Jedi.

    But we all know Han's a big softie and wouldn't have shot him anyway.

    Yeah, I totally agree with that. Han wasn't going to do anything :p

    Good stuff.

    Thanks and thanks for reading and replying :D






    Going to try for a new post tomorrow [face_peace] Also going to try and stuff scenes from Korriban and Coruscant in it :p
  7. YodaKenobi VIP

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    May 27, 2003
    star 6
    Chapter 45: Rescues

    The muted drumming of boots against the flagstones echoed softly down the murky passage only moments before the pair of dark figures distinguished themselves from the gloom, pooling out slowly as though they were melting from the shadows. They were shrouded in black cloaks much like the three beings at the end of the tunnel watching them approach, and what little illumination the sallow light of the glimmering wall sconces provided revealed nothing of their faces save for mouths set in grim lines. As the shadows swelled amidst the clip and clap of boot soles however, it became clear by their shape and bearing that one was male and the other female.

    "What are you doing here?"

    The question came from one of the three male Sith at the end of the corridor? two humans and a sneering Bothan whose rust-colored fur was beginning to grey.

    The pair reached the point where the passage flared out into the cell's antechamber before responding. "We're here for the prisoner," the man said. His voice was regal, his tone civil, but there was a whisper of an alien accent threaded beneath otherwise perfect Basic.

    The statement forced a series of curious glances to be exchanged between the guards, accompanied by raised brows hidden by the shadows of their own cowls.

    "On whose authority?" Asked the Bothan, his fangs bared as though he could scarcely contain a snarl.

    "The Master, of course," the man responded, stopping a few feet from the guards? though the woman he traveled with pushed on a few paces further.

    Again, conferring looks were passed between the Sith guards. "Lord Yammka said she wouldn't be transferred to the freezing chamber for another hour? and that he'd be coming down himself to retrieve her," the Bothan replied skeptically.

    "Lord Yammka is a busy being," said the woman, speaking for the first time. It could be estimated from her voice that she was about 30. "There's been a change in plans."

    "Then why didn't he contact us?" Questioned one of the human guards, holding up a sable comlink in a reddish-pink hand webbed by white lesions consistent with burn scars.

    "Because he sent us," replied the male visitor. With more of the sconces' light dancing under his hood, it was becoming clear that he was extremely pale, and by the way his cloak was hanging off of his bones, dangerously frail.

    Something about the answer seemed to alert the guards. "We'll just see about that," growled the burned man, before thumbing on his comlink and raising the device to blistered lips.

    He never managed more than a gurgle into its receiver.

    The woman's slender hand plunged into the folds of her cloak and came out with a snap-hiss and a fan of red light, sizzling across the man's throat in a motion so swift her victim hadn't seen a hint of it. She pivoted just as quickly and caught the second man beside him while he was still wide-eyed and fumbling for his own lightsaber, carving a crooked scar across his body from shoulder to crotch that glowed an angry orange.

    The Bothan proved more adept, freeing his lightsaber and lunging forward in a blur as the girl made her second attack in an attempt to skewer her? she managed to deflect the strike, but just barely, a hiss of pain stabbing out from her clinched teeth when the white-hot tip grazed her right side. The Bothan followed his drive up with an overhand-hack in an attempt to pummel his lithe opponent to the ground, the visible tremors quaking through her arms when she fended off the blow with a horizontal, over-the-head block making it clear he was close to succeeding.

    A series of lightning-fast blows followed, spraying sparks over the stone floor and filling the air with the stench of scorched ozone upon each collision of the scarlet blades. The Bothan must have been waiting for the woman's ally to dash forward with his own lightsaber flashing, but he never did.

    When the man finally did attack, it was a low-powered maser beam that appeared instead, catching the Bothan in the flank, his da
  8. GrandMasterKatarn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 8, 2008
    star 4
    FIRST

    "So what do we do now?" Jaden asked. "If we can't get a ship, we're stuck here on Coruscant."

    "Calm down, baby Katarn," Han interrupted. "The Falcon's just a few blocks away in our private berthing. I didn't want to leave her behind anyway, and now we've got an excuse to go there and get her."


    rotflmao [face_laugh]:_|[face_laugh] That was really hilarious. I can't imagine that Jaden would take that, especially after being trained by Katarn.

    Jag... no time for simple explanations, just listen to Jaina. She knows (sort of) what she's thinking.

    Great post, can't wait for more.
  9. Draconarius Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 27, 2005
    star 4
    SECOND.

    Well, Jag and Cem/Evlyn have Jaina, now they just have to get to Ben and Tahiri and then get the hell out of there. Assuming they aren't 'sacrificed'--or whatever Jacen really meant--by then.

    I get the strange feeling that the GA soldiers will want to just let the Jedi get to the Falcon. Less mess that way. [face_mischief]
  10. Zardi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2008
    star 1
    "Han knows protecting Allana comes first," Leia replied, deflecting a blast back into the chest of a GA trooper with a longblaster. "I'm sure after this is over he'll pick a fight with someone to make up for it."

    Love that! [face_laugh]

    I must say, I'm rather disgusted with Jaina and the rescue party for not being more concerned about Ben and Tahiri...especially Jaina about Ben. She did drag that poor teenager into all of this, so she sure as heck better get him out of it again.

    Though, now that Luke, Han, and Leia are getting out of the Temple, maybe they will be able to track down Ben and Jaina and help out. I'm sure they are anxious to get their kids back.
  11. Magnuskn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 14, 2002
    star 4
    Ah, Corellian banter. It never get´s old. [face_laugh]

    The first few paragraphs read a bit like the beginning of Revolution, if you know what I mean... a bit too detailed for such minor ( and now dead ) characters, IMO. :-B

    All in all, excellent chapter, although I´d wish there´d be more. Damn those time constraints of yours! :p

    Read that part again. Jaina is having a heroic BSOD over Anakins reappearance, she isn´t making those decisions, nor really aware of them, as it seems. It´s Jag and Cem weighing if they can afford trying to free the others, not Jaina.
  12. Spike2002 Former FF-UK RSA and Arena Manager

    Member Since:
    Feb 4, 2002
    star 6
    Nice updates YK.

    And I just noticed, a PINK-armoured Mando? Friend of Goran Beviin's maybe? :p
  13. YodaKenobi VIP

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    May 27, 2003
    star 6
    GMK: FIRST

    Nicely done =D=

    rotflmao That was really hilarious.

    I'm glad you liked that :p

    I can't imagine that Jaden would take that, especially after being trained by Katarn.

    Jaden is still no match for Han Solo's awesomeness :p

    Jag... no time for simple explanations, just listen to Jaina. She knows (sort of) what she's thinking.

    She's just going to seem crazy to everyone for the time being. Anakin's dead after all [face_mischief]

    Great post, can't wait for more.

    Thanks and thanks for reading and replying :D






    Draconarius: SECOND.

    Way to go =D=

    Well, Jag and Cem/Evlyn have Jaina, now they just have to get to Ben and Tahiri and then get the hell out of there.

    Yep, sounds simple enough to me :p

    Assuming they aren't 'sacrificed'--or whatever Jacen really meant--by then.

    I'm sure we'll get some idea of what Jacen meant, whether it happens or not [face_thinking]

    I get the strange feeling that the GA soldiers will want to just let the Jedi get to the Falcon. Less mess that way.

    That's an interesting theory. Obviously, that's not what Daala would want, but I could see a lot of people in the GA forces only putting up a token defense and allow the Falcon to slip away.

    Thanks for reading and replying :D






    Zardi: Love that!

    Thanks, I'm glad to hear it :D

    I must say, I'm rather disgusted with Jaina and the rescue party for not being more concerned about Ben and Tahiri...especially Jaina about Ben. She did drag that poor teenager into all of this, so she sure as heck better get him out of it again.

    I don't think Jaina is unconcerned about Ben, it's just that Anakin's sudden reappearance has taken precidence in her jumbled mind. I don't think if Jaina found a way to get Anakin off the planet that she would leave without Ben and Tahiri either, even though she only mentions Anakin here. It's just whats on her mind when she's partly delerious.

    Though, now that Luke, Han, and Leia are getting out of the Temple, maybe they will be able to track down Ben and Jaina and help out. I'm sure they are anxious to get their kids back.

    I'm sure it will be their first priority when they finally get the Jedi settled at Haven. Han probably won't even let the Falcon's engines cool down before shooting off to find Jaina.

    Thanks for reading and replying! :D





    Magnuskn: Ah, Corellian banter. It never get´s old.

    Even in the middle of a battle when they should just be running :p

    The first few paragraphs read a bit like the beginning of Revolution, if you know what I mean... a bit too detailed for such minor ( and now dead ) characters, IMO.

    lol. It's been awhile since I've read Revolution. I know there's a lot that needs to be fixed up though.

    All in all, excellent chapter, although I´d wish there´d be more. Damn those time constraints of yours!

    This was a bit transitional. I think the next chapter will have more meat to it [face_peace]

    Read that part again. Jaina is having a heroic BSOD over Anakins reappearance, she isn´t making those decisions, nor really aware of them, as it seems. It´s Jag and Cem weighing if they can afford trying to free the others, not Jaina.

    Yeah, Magnuskn explained it better than I did here. Jaina is kind of out of it after what happened to her. It's just that the Anakin thoughts are everpresent at the moment.





    Spike: Nice updates YK.

    Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed them :)

    And I just noticed, a PINK-armoured Mando? Friend of Goran Beviin's maybe?

    Not what I was implying :p I just thought it was a pretty color for a Mando [face_batting]

    Thanks for reading and replying :D







    There should be a new post on Tuesday or Wednesday. And we'll actually be seeing Ben in it after many chapters without him. [face_thinking]
  14. Magnuskn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 14, 2002
    star 4
    BTW, with the news about Traviss leaving Star Wars fiction ( hooray! ), I noticed that the Mandalorians and Boba Fett getting pwned ( twice, in the case of Boba :p ) in your fics is really good timing. [face_laugh]
  15. TahiriSoloFan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 20, 2003
    star 4
    Short on time, so just let me say.... [face_laugh]
  16. Master_Jaina1011 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 20, 2002
    star 4
    I always keep forgetting that if you read a story and follow it closely you should review... so here's mine

    One: Go Allana! Use those Force powers...even if you don't want to.

    Two: Anakin? Are you sure you aren't Allston or Denning in disguise YK?

    Three: I can't wait to see how the Jedi get across town. I still want to throw Daala from the highest building and Coruscant and watch her fall splat somewhere.

    Four: The ultimate showdown... Han vs Boba Fett. And Han headbutts Fett? Guess Han is really getting old...

    Five: More... please and I love your characters.

    There I reviewed. Now maybe I can go to bed!

    Master_Jaina1011
  17. jedimasterjsa Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 20, 2008
    star 1
    That part about Artoo being able to wirelessly access the Temple'e security system was very cool. And now that you've mentioned that and got the idea running around in my head, why hadn't anything like that been done in cannon? I mean come on... we have al sorts of wireless stuff nowdays, surely that sort of thing would be so common place that it wouldn't even have to be installed!
    Anyways...
    I hope Jaina comes around and can assert herself a little more before Jag pulls her out of there! Even I wasn't convinced by her talk of saving Anakin, and I know that's what really needs to happen!?! ;) Then again... maybe it would be better if they escaped first and regrouped before their caught again. Then again, then again... they may never be able to get back in again or worse, they'll still get caught even after they escape, but before they can regroup/make a plan/leave the planet/etc.
  18. YodaKenobi VIP

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    Member Since:
    May 27, 2003
    star 6
    Magnuskn: BTW, with the news about Traviss leaving Star Wars fiction ( hooray! ),

    Yes, that's just horrible O:)

    I noticed that the Mandalorians and Boba Fett getting pwned ( twice, in the case of Boba ) in your fics is really good timing.

    lol, yeah, I noticed that too :p There are a lot of similar things happening in Blood Trail and LotD at the same time. They were outlined years apart though, so I think it's mostly coincidence.

    Still, poor Fett :( [face_mischief] This is a sad day for the Mandalorians.

    Although, I should add that I am irritated by the way TCW is pretty much demolishing SW canon as well :p





    TSF: Short on time, so just let me say....

    Glad it made you laugh :D

    And thanks so much for reading and replying :)




    Master_Jaina1011: I always keep forgetting that if you read a story and follow it closely you should review... so here's mine

    Cool :D It's nice to meet you.

    One: Go Allana! Use those Force powers...even if you don't want to.

    She's a little badass :cool:

    Two: Anakin? Are you sure you aren't Allston or Denning in disguise YK?

    I'm pretty sure [face_thinking]

    Three: I can't wait to see how the Jedi get across town.

    I'm hoping to squeeze that in to tomorrow's post.

    I still want to throw Daala from the highest building and Coruscant and watch her fall splat somewhere.

    [face_laugh]

    I'd like to squeeze that in too :p

    Four: The ultimate showdown... Han vs Boba Fett. And Han headbutts Fett? Guess Han is really getting old...

    It seems like a sound tactic to me :p

    Five: More... please and I love your characters.

    I'm hoping to have more tomorrow, and thank you [face_peace]

    There I reviewed. Now maybe I can go to bed!

    Goodnight 8-} And thanks for reading and replying! :D
  19. CelseteAntola TF.N Books Staff

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    Member Since:
    May 18, 2002
    star 3
    *slides in before new post* :D

    I know, I've been bad... I did read your update when it came out last Tuesday, YK, but I've been doing some major lurking of late, which I must keep myself from doing before it becomes yet another bad habit... :oops:

    Aw, sorry What kind of rehersals?

    I was in rehearsals for a musical at the time, and our male lead had just dropped out on us. [face_frustrated] So, we were stuck one week before opening night with no lead, and we had to start from scratch. I'm actually pretty impressed with the group of people we had, because in one week, and with only four rehearsals, we had put together a brand new show. It ended up being really good for me, because I went from only singing three songs, to singing eight pieces, plus a bunch of chorus music, and I choreographed the dancing for the whole show. It was fun, but very stressful. I'm just glad that it was a paying gig... [face_tired]

    Congrats on your awards!!!! =D= =D= =D=

    Now for the post-

    "Because he sent us," replied the male visitor. With more of the scones' light dancing under his hood, it was becoming clear that he was extremely pale, and by the way his cloak was hanging off of his bones, dangerously frail.

    Ok, I had two extremely different reactions to this bit. The first was 'Oh no!! Poor Jag!!' *sniff* :(

    The next reaction was this: [face_laugh] :_| [face_laugh] :p :D 8-}

    I'm sure you're curious as to the conflicting emotional responses, so I shall indulge you. I totally erupted in laughter at the line- the scones' light dancing . LOL! I think you meant sconces', but I couldn't get the imagery of warm, buttery scones drizzled with honey out of my mind. I laughed so hard that my co-workers were all asking me what was so funny... :D

    That being said, I just want to note that Evlyn totally knows how to kick arse. I'm really starting to like this girl. [face_mischief]

    As his emerald eyes began to adjust to the darkness, he began to make out her battered face and the obviously broken arm hanging limply at her side. "Jaina! Stars! What happened to you!"

    It's going to be interesting to see how Jag and co. manage to escape with Jaina in such bad condition... [face_worried] Somehow I get the feeling that they're not going to because Lord Yammka is going to run into them during their search for the exit...

    The weight of the decisions ahead suddenly weighed heavily on Jag's heart.

    Gosh, what a hard decision. *bites fingernails* So, who's going to get left behind, I wonder?

    "It's so simple," Corran replied dryly. "Why didn't I think of it?"

    "We don't have time for me to explain all the reasons why I'm better than you."


    [face_laugh] Great! You write amazingly witty dialogue, Yobi! How do you manage to do it without sounding forced or trite? Believeable dialogue is something I always struggle with, and I've been studying your work to see how I can learn from it to improve my own writing.

    Well, there's not really much to comment on for this chapter. It really is only a kind of 'filler' chapter, seeing that it's only purpose was to reunite most of the characters for us and to wrap up the loose ends from the previous battles. I'm really looking forward to this week's post, since I love reading the bits with Ben in them! :)

    ~Celeste
  20. YodaKenobi VIP

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    May 27, 2003
    star 6
    Celsete: *slides in before new post*

    Nice :cool:

    I know, I've been bad... I did read your update when it came out last Tuesday, YK, but I've been doing some major lurking of late, which I must keep myself from doing before it becomes yet another bad habit...

    No worries [face_peace] There's no rush.

    I was in rehearsals for a musical at the time, and our male lead had just dropped out on us. So, we were stuck one week before opening night with no lead, and we had to start from scratch. I'm actually pretty impressed with the group of people we had, because in one week, and with only four rehearsals, we had put together a brand new show. It ended up being really good for me, because I went from only singing three songs, to singing eight pieces, plus a bunch of chorus music, and I choreographed the dancing for the whole show. It was fun, but very stressful. I'm just glad that it was a paying gig...

    Wow. Congrats on getting through that [face_peace] Sounds like quite the show.

    Congrats on your awards!!!!

    Thanks :)

    Now for the post-
    Ok, I had two extremely different reactions to this bit. The first was 'Oh no!! Poor Jag!!' *sniff*
    The next reaction was this:
    I'm sure you're curious as to the conflicting emotional responses, so I shall indulge you. I totally erupted in laughter at the line- the scones' light dancing . LOL! I think you meant sconces', but I couldn't get the imagery of warm, buttery scones drizzled with honey out of my mind. I laughed so hard that my co-workers were all asking me what was so funny...


    [face_laugh] :_|

    That is almost as bad as the typo I made in LotD a few chapters back during the Anakin/Fett fight. I didn't realize it until someone quoted it, but I had something like "Anakin rained blow upon Fett" which drastically changest he meaning from "rained blows." I told Wedge I was now picturing Anakin sprinkling fistfulls of cocaine over the poor bounty hunter :( :p

    That being said, I just want to note that Evlyn totally knows how to kick arse. I'm really starting to like this girl.

    That's good to hear. Not sure if she's going to make it out of this one alive though [face_worried]

    It's going to be interesting to see how Jag and co. manage to escape with Jaina in such bad condition... Somehow I get the feeling that they're not going to because Lord Yammka is going to run into them during their search for the exit...

    That would definitely suck [face_worried] Not sure Jaina is going to let them escape without rescuing everyone first anyway, but there so outnumbered we know that will never work :(

    Gosh, what a hard decision. *bites fingernails* So, who's going to get left behind, I wonder?

    You'll probably know by the end of the next chapter.

    Great! You write amazingly witty dialogue, Yobi! How do you manage to do it without sounding forced or trite? Believeable dialogue is something I always struggle with, and I've been studying your work to see how I can learn from it to improve my own writing.

    I don't know, some of the dialogue in that scene was probably a bit too light-hearted for the circumstances. I'm not crazy about it, actually :p

    Well, there's not really much to comment on for this chapter. It really is only a kind of 'filler' chapter, seeing that it's only purpose was to reunite most of the characters for us and to wrap up the loose ends from the previous battles. I'm really looking forward to this week's post, since I love reading the bits with Ben in them!

    Thanks, I hope you'll like it :) And thanks so much for reading and replying :D







    Edit: Sorry. As it turns out, there will not be a post until early next week. This one ended up taking a lot more time than I anticipated and I just don't have the time to finish it at the moment. Hopefully it will be worth the wait. [face_peace]
  21. Rew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 22, 2008
    star 4
    This thread is in need of a major BUMP!

    Would tonight count as "early next week"? [face_batting]
  22. YodaKenobi VIP

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    Member Since:
    May 27, 2003
    star 6
    It would, but tomorrow is better for me :p Sorry about the delay [face_peace]
  23. canadianjedimama Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 28, 2008
    star 4
    R2 to the rescue! [face_laugh]

    Excuses, excuses... :p

    Cyn
  24. YodaKenobi VIP

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    Member Since:
    May 27, 2003
    star 6
    Here's another excuse? Tomorrow :p

    Sorry, guys, I didn't get a chance to finish it last night. I'm working on it now but you probably won't see it until tomorrow [face_blush]
  25. YodaKenobi VIP

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    Member Since:
    May 27, 2003
    star 6
    Chapter 46: A Fate Worse Than Death

    Though the world beyond the stone doorframe was scarcely lit, Ben Skywalker found himself wincing as he stumbled out of his cell. The Jedi Knight squinted against the glare of the torches mounted in brackets on the corridor's walls, trying to make out shapes in the bright blur while his ears were filled with the crackling and branch-like snaps of embers. There was a hissing, metallic rattle below it, and it took Ben a moment to realize the noise was emanating from the bindings fastened over his wrists, jostled by his unsteady movements.

    They'd kept him in complete darkness since the one called "Dician" had broken him and now even the soft glow of golden flames seemed a retina-scorching white to his sensitive eyes, forcing Ben to close them in defeat and wait for his vision to adjust through fleshy pink lids. He hadn't truly realized the toll the trek across Korriban's unmerciful surface had taken on his body, nor the two days without food or water, until he felt his knees begin to buckle with each step.

    After Dician had retrieved what she was after, the lights had gone out and Ben had been brought nothing for nourishment and received no more visitors. He was left alone, with only his guilt to keep him company.

    And that guilt had been a troubling guest.

    It was, he supposed, the reason he hadn't realized just how much physical agony he was in, hadn't realized how delirious with hunger and thirst he'd become. He'd been consumed by his weakness.

    "Follow me."

    It was a human voice that had gone so cold and dead there was little of any humanity left in it. A chill spidered up the young Jedi's spine as he turned in its direction and realized that it was somehow familiar to him.

    Ben tried to open his eyes, grimaced when he was reintroduced to the cruel light, and closed them again. "Who are you?"

    There was no answer.

    He was too weak to call on any Force techniques for aid, but summoning what little strength he had left, the Jedi allowed his lids to part in the thinnest possible apertures and peered through them at the milky haze beyond. The face he found staring down at him was cloaked in shadows, but as Ben forced his eyes to endure the blear and the pain, he began to make out the grim mouth set over a slightly dimpled chin, and a pair of haunting white eyes gazing at him from beneath a raised hood.

    "Oh, you," Ben grumbled. He'd seen the white-eyed-man when the one they called Wyyrlok had led Ben and their child prisoners into the strange Sith enclave. He wasn't sure if he was their leader? in fact, he got a strange impression that he was not? but the stranger clearly held some position of authority.

    Instead of answering, the cloaked being simply turned and started down the murky corridor. Ben was tempted to make things difficult for him, to regain some semblance of power after being made their slave, but a moment's consideration revealed nothing of the notion but futility. Ben could make a stand here of some kind, refuse to do anything they asked him from this point on, and these cruel beings would simply drag out a dozen or more of the children he'd been trying to protect since boarding the Krayt Metal's carrier on Felucia, and threaten to butcher them in front of him.

    What was the point? He could sense a group of six others behind him and even if he'd wanted to resist, he was in no physical condition to do so. Hanging his head in defeat, Ben shuffled after the man without being prodded.

    "What's your name anyway?" Ben asked, partly out of curiosity and partly to use the man's voice to help guide him through the gloom.

    "You can call me 'Master,'" White Eyes replied without turning to face him.

    Ben laughed. It was a dry, hoarse sound, but he couldn't stop it. "No thanks. I had a Sith Master once already and I didn't care for it. Your assignments are pretty crummy."

    "I am surprised to hear you say that," the dark man said.

    "Yeah? Why's that?"

    "Because I would think it was obvious that you are already our se
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