Blurry (Obi gets ameisia at 18 years old)

Obi-Wan was in his cloud car. The radio was loud. He bobbed his head back and forth. But the road was ignored. Obi (Poor Obi!) screamed. Pain shot through his body. Then everything went black.

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How did you like the beginning? Please post your opinion!! And be glad I'm BAAACK!
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sounds interesting! Are you gonna post more?
God bless!

<3-Moose

 

Ah, good to see you back.



Can we have about eight more of those paragraphs please? It sounds interesting.

 

Thanks for the feedback! you could read my new story "When a FF athour's dream comes true" on my profile
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Here's more:


Obi-Wan's eyes opened. He was in a hospital room. He felt a bandage on his forhead, a cast on his leg. A nurse walked in. " Ah, you are awake Jedi boy. Do you want anything?" What? Obi-Wan thought, What's a 'Jedi boy'? What is this woman talking about? Where am I? WHO am I?
The nurse left when hadn't responded. Then a long haired man walked in.

 

I bet we ALL know who walks in now.
More coming soon! I am working on my novel which is still being written by me but I am trying to do as much FF as possible. I am going on Vacation where there is no computer

 

I'M BAAAAAACK!!! I didnt post for the last 2 weeks becuse for the first week my best friend from Latvija came to America to see me, and then I went on Vacation and then NEXT week I have to go to NC to look at houses to move to. HOTEL + ME = ROOM SERVICE


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Heres more:

"Hello Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon looked at the injured boy with sad eyes. The young Jedi looked at his Master blankly.

 

interesting

 

here's more (I always knew I was a good author! And to be up with the best too!)
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"Obi-Wan. Please talk. Just let me know you're OK."
Obi-Wan tried to make sounds. "O" was all he could say. His voice sounded old and worn to Qui-Gon. Not at all like an 18 year old should sound. Qui-Gon wiped a tear away and left the room. Obi-Wan rested a bit. After he took a short nap a woman walked in. Not a woman really, just a girl around Obi-wan's age. She had black hair and bright blue eyes. To Obi-Wan she was beutiful. "Hello Obi-Wan. I am Crestna. I will teach you to do the things you have forgotten to do. We will start with eating and drinking today.
Crestna picked up a fork with a bt of fruit on it. Obi-Wan opened his mouth and the food was inside. "Go like this." said Crestna and she opened and closed her mouth. Obi-Wan did the same. He showed his empty mouth. "Good job," said Crestna, "But drinking is a bit harder." She held up a glass of water. She put a straw in Obi-Wan's mouth. She showed him what to do, but he could not make the water go in his mouth. But after a few tries and with Crestna's help, he got it right. He wanted her to stay but she had to go home. And Obi-Wan couldn't ask her to stay anyway.

 

I'm upping this. UP!

 

UP more! and that clock is in the wrong time zone cuz on the east coast it's 1 AM!

 

Up some more! I need more Feedback people!!!!

 

I am not updating till someone replies to this!!!!!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

 

Shhh, OK, OK, I'm replying. Very good idea. (Poor Obi! We're all always beating up on him, including me! We're such an eeeeeevil lot!) Great idea, promising start. (Poor Obi again.) However your posts are- no offense- unthinkably short. I mean, dude, I thought my posts were on the short side? Aside from that it's great.

 

yeah it is really short. thats ok

I have temporary writers block ?

 

K, I'll reply too...as long as you promise to keep this living and all and not do like what I've done with all of mine (they aren't even dead--they're just kinda MIA i think...). Good story so far...hope you beat your writer's block soon.

 

thanks.

here is more:

Obi-Wan slept. When he woke up she was there.
"Here's breakfast." She began to feed him. Then with still some difficulty he drank. "OK now we see if you understand what people say to you. Do you know who I am?" He nodded a little but it hurt to move his neck. He touched it and winced. "OK we won't do that yet.We will practice to feed yourself how about?" He smiled. she put the spoon in his hand and showed him what to do. He did it well.

Thats all I got right now It's terribly short I know but thats all I got.

 

and thats all till inspiration strikes

 

Hmm. It's good (this is at least the third story where Obi gets amnesia that I've read) but tantalizingly short! OK my posts to my fics tend to be short too but well not this short, like four or five paragraphs when the average is higher. Gah come on we wanna see what happens!

 

up

 

Hmmm. Think I should try that "not updating till someone replies" tactic in MY stories? Problem is I'm a total snob and I hate to look like I'm "begging" for readers. It took me forever to just decide to put the links in my sig. Anyway I just want to remind you, AJM (c'I call you that?) that I'm eagerly awaiting the next post.

 

ok and yea you can call me that

 

Another postie!

That night a dream came to Obi-Wan. Crestna was there. She was dressed in white and glowed slightly as though she were immortal. She went in front of him and held her arms out. Then he woke to the light of the sun on his now pale face. He waited for her. When she came he took her hand and put it to his face. "Obi-Wan I don't understand. What is it? What do you need?" Obi-Wan mouthed "Love". She shook her head. She fed him and tried to help him make sounds. He couldn't. "All right." she said. Then she faded away. And Obi-Wan went along.

Trying to make a cliffhanger

 

no postie just an up

 

up again

 

Awww poor Obi. Good post AJM I just WISH these were longer!