Boba Fett Facts

Discussion in 'Spokane, WA' started by -JediClone-, Oct 6, 2007.

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  1. -JediClone- Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 21, 2005
    star 2
    * Boba Fett shoots first, every time.

    * Boba Fett beat the Sarlacc. In fact, he plays Sabacc with the Sarlacc twice a month.

    * Boba Fett is not a clone. Jango Fett was a prototype.

    * Wookiee Sclaps or Padawan Braids: Does it really matter? Think about it.

    * Boba Fett's teeth can cut through Lightsaber blades.

    * Boba Fett taught Superman all his flying techniques.

    * Boba Fett can find the square root of negative-one. But if you want to know where it is, that'll cost you.

    * Boba Fett was in a staring contest with a Miraluka. The Miraluka blinked first. Miralukas do not have eyes.

    * The only reason you're not dead right now is you're worth more to Boba Fett alive.

    * Jabba's Rancor has a Boba Fett Chew toy. He?s afraid to chew it.

    * Boba Fett's rocket doesn?t need any fuel to launch 500 meters. It's just happy to be someplace else.

    * To escape from Boba Fett, a bounty once ran inside a cargo hold full of lockboxes of various height, width and length. It didn?t work. There is no safe distance from Boba Fett.

    * When Mister T goes to sleep every night, he checks the closet for Boba Fett.

    * Boba Fett doesn?t sleep. He waits.

    * Chuck Norris knows that Boba Fett stole that last fact from him. But he's too scared to do anything about it.

    * Boba Fett keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to disintegrate them.

    * Boba Fett's flamethrower is fueled by rage.

    * Boba Fett can beat stars into submission. This is where Black Holes come from.

    * Boba Fett can burn water. And does. Often. For fun.

    * Hyperspace only exists because it's afraid to be on the same plane of physical reality as Boba Fett.

    * Boba Fett can smell your fear. With an airtight helmet in the way.

    * When the Incredible Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, he turns into Jack Bauer. When Jack Bauer gets mad, he turns into Boba Fett.

    * The Law Of Averages says that every action in the universe has an equal and opposite reaction. This is why Stormtoopers cant hit anything they shoot at: Boba Fett is messing up the curve for everyone else.

    * The Empire had to name it the "Death" Star because "Boba" was already taken.

    * The only reason Han Solo is alive is because Boba Fett like to play with his food.

    * Slave 1. Galaxy: 0.

    * Hyperspace is where normal-space goes to get away from Boba Fett.

    * Boba Fett once roundhouse-kicked someone so hard they woke up on the Starship Enterprise.

    * The last thing the Sarlaac heard before it died was "Boba Fett? Where?"

    * Don?t ask Boba Fett for mercy. Unless ?Mercy? is the name of some woman you want hunted down and delivered to you.

    * Don?t offer Boba Fett a bribe. Unless ?Bribe? is your species? word for ?courageously expensive token of thanks?.

    * In a dual between Luke Skywalker and Darth Sideous, the winner is Boba Fett.

    * Boba Fett can split atoms with his codpiece.

    * Boba Fett doesn?t give a damn what Karen Traviss has to say about Mandalorian culture.

    * Boba Fett doesn?t give a damn what George Lucas has to say about Sarlaacs.

    * Boba Fett doesn?t give a damn what Leland Chee has to say about anything.

    * Peter Griffin never bets the Fett-man. Not even on a sure thing.

    * Princess Leia secretly wishes her husband was Boba Fett. Han Solo secretly wishes his wife was Boba Fett.

    * Boba Fett is known to rip Wookiees' arms off when he loses at Holochess. Which he doesn?t.

    * Boba Fett shot first. Period.

    * Boba Fett has three ways of scaling a wall; his grappling hook, his left hook, and his right hook.

    * Boba Fett eats C-3POs for breakfast. Not the cereal, the metal bits.

    * Boba Fett's heart-rate is measured in parsecs.

    *If Boba Fett were to cash out all his bank accounts all at once, the Galaxy would be plunged into a recession.

    *Boba Fett has three different color schemes for his armor. Just to be color-coordinated with the many different colors of alien blood spatter.

    *Boba Fett's fist is the only hand that beats an Id
  2. Eledaia Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2004
    star 3
    ROFLUMHE!

    (Rolling on the floor laughing until my head explodes)

    Ok, we are are so going to do this! John is going to buy the domain on Friday and make a kick a$$ website because these are so good!
  3. Darthchromer Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 6, 2007
    star 1
  4. JarusSarn Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 10, 2004
    star 4
    That is so far beyond cool. Chris started a new internet craze!!!
  5. -JediClone- Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 21, 2005
    star 2
    Thanks!

    John: Isnt Boba Fett in the Underworld comic where you got the curent Spokantina logo? I had though this would just end up on the Spokantina site, but if there's going to be a new domain involved, there should at least be some visual tie-in.

  6. -JediClone- Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 21, 2005
    star 2
    * Geico saved 15% by switching to Boba Fett.

    * When the Force wants to be strong with someone, it checks with Boba Fett first.

    * Fear leads to Anger, Anger leads to Hate, Hate leads to Suffering. Or you could skip the middlemen; Boba Fett leads straight to Suffering.

    * Boba Fett hacked Jeremy Bulloch?s Wikipedia page.

    * Boba Fett is the leading cause of death among Jedi.

    * Boba Fett made the Star Wars Holiday Special worth watching.

    * Stars wet themselves when Boba Fett gets too close. This is where Pulsars come from.

    * LOOK BEHIND YOU! Did you see Boba Fett? Of course not. He?s that fast.

    * Whenever a bell rings, Boba Fett just disintegrated an angel.

    * Boba Fett knows what you did last summer. And he?s willing to keep quiet for a reasonable fee.

    * When Boba Fett activates his jetpack, the sky asks for a stunt double.

    * Boba Fett taught Indiana Jones how to use a whip.

    * Boba Fett taught Mace Windu how to swear like a mother-######.

    * A Boba Fett in the hand is worth a bloody stump.

    * Boba Fett converted Vin Diesel to biofuel.

    * Boba Fett has eyes in the back of his helmet. No-one knows whose.

    * Jesus Christ has a Darwinfish on his car, being disintegrated by a Boba Fett Fish.

    * The chief export of Boba Fett is A Bad Feeling About This.

    * There is always a bigger fish. Unless that fish is the Bobacuda. The Bobacuda is the biggest fish in the Galaxy.

    * Boba Fett kills more people before 9AM than most armed forces do all day.

    * Boba Fett lives by only one rule: No Hutt chicks.

    * The title of the final Indiana Jones adventure EVER will be ?Indiana Jones And The Mandalorian Armor.?

    * Boba Fett put Bob Saget out of his misery.

    * Boba Fett put the Ewoks out of everyone?s misery.

    Earwen Edit: Board policy - gotta star the whole word out.
  7. JarusSarn Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 10, 2004
    star 4
    Oh, I plan on including a link with the Spokantina logo back to The Spokantina.com and likewise with the boba site.
  8. Dark_Jedi_Nasman Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 17, 2006
    star 1
    The only thing I can come up with is.

    * Oh my god it's Fett!

    A take from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit," if you couldn't guess.
  9. Daramin_of_The_Way Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 30, 2004
    star 4
    Nicely done, Chris!
    That is a long list.
  10. -JediClone- Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 21, 2005
    star 2
    Thanks again!

    With the next batch I'm about add to I'll have tooped 100!
    (not counting the 3 I snagged from Eric and Abbas)
    I think I'll stop there for now, and add anything else to the website.

    But first, some corrections to the first set:

    * When Voldemort goes to bed at night, he checks the closet for Dumbledore. When Dumbledore goes to bed at night, he checks the closet for Boba Fett.

    * If Bail Organa had paid Boba Fett on time, Alderaan would still be around.
  11. -JediClone- Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 21, 2005
    star 2
    * Boba Fett can track down the exact location of electrons, AND tell which direction they are headed AND at what velocity they are traveling.

    * Boba Fett can stick to a frictionless surface.

    * Boba Fett never blinks. He doesn?t have to. His eyes are afraid to dry out.

    * When Boba Fett stares into a sun, it has to sheild its eyes with a nearby moon. This is where Full Eclipses come from.

    * Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from Boba Fett

    * Boba Fett has an infinite number of fake identities. And they all have better credit ratings than you.

    * Boba Fett pities Mister T.

    * Boba Fett is rated NC-17 for excessive and/or graphic violence. The Star Wars saga is mostly PG, hence his limited presence in the films.

    * Boba Fett once beat a man to death with their own arm. This is what Boba Fett defines as ?prop comedy?.

    * The only reason the Red Vs Blue series is still going on is that Boba Fett hasn?t picked a side yet.

    * Boba Fett doesn?t bomb his targets back to the Stone Age. He bombs stones back to the creation of the planet they?re on.

    * Boba Fett lost a 5-credit bet on a sports game. Once. He sought out and destroyed all evidence of this bet ever happening, or that of the game he was betting on. This is why no-one mentions Pod Racing in the Original Trilogy.

    * Boba Fett put Stephen Colbert on notice.

    * Batman wears Boba Fett underwear.

    * If Grand Moff Tarkin had paid Boba Fett on time, the Death Star would still be around.

    * Boba Fett doesn?t need Jabba The Hutt?s money to finance his Corvette. Boba Fett made his car get off its lazy a#s and find a job.

    * Boba Fett doesn?t drop THX-1138 references. Boba Fett doesn?t NEED to drop THX-1138 references.

    * 1,138 in binary is ?10001110010.? Coincidently, this is also also droid-speak for ?Holy s##t, it?s Boba Fett!?

    * Like Roger Rabbit, Boba Fett can get out of impossible traps and escape-proof bindings? but only when it?s funny. Too bad that what Boba Fett finds funny most people find excruciatingly painful.

    * Boba Fett?s helmet gives Dark Helmet?s helmet feelings of inadequacy.

    * The best offense is Boba Fett. The best defense is getting the h##l away from Boba Fett.

    * Kryptonite?s only weakness is Boba Fett.

    * You are always in the first place Boba Fett looked.

    * Boba Fett never strikes twice. He never has to.

    * Fett happens.
  12. Earwen_Lightrider Former RSA & Spokantina CR

    Member Since:
    Jan 17, 2004
    star 6
    This is my favorite so far!!!

    [face_laugh]
  13. Raph1613 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 15, 2004
    star 4
    [face_laugh]

    Nat, you should at least appreciate this one:

    * Boba Fett has an infinite number of fake identities. And they all have better credit ratings than you.

    [face_laugh]



    By the way, Nat, it's good to see you still hanging around this Forum.

    Always a pleasure.

    And my best regards to your husband.
  14. Earwen_Lightrider Former RSA & Spokantina CR

    Member Since:
    Jan 17, 2004
    star 6
    [face_laugh] Oh, I liked that one too! Me and my love of socks and all. :p

    Of course I still hang out... I miss you guys!
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