Breath of Night (Obi, Qui, & now Dooku!) **COMPLETED**

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Cascadia, Oct 8, 2002.

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  1. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    I have always enjoyed your stories. This one looks to be no exception :)
  2. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    CYN I always love to hear the thoughts of such a great writer as you! And I'm thrilled that you're reading! [face_love]

    Shelia I'm relieved that Obi-Wan's feelings on the situation could be felt. As far as what the commotion is about . . . you'll find out in the next post. [face_devil] Don't count on it for a few days, though. But don't worry, it will be soon. :)

    PadawanKitara Thank you! :D

    With Christmas coming up, I probably won't have the next part up until afterward. So until then, Merry Christmas! [face_love] :D


    EDIT Oh, I keep forgetting to answer a question I think a couple people asked about Remnants in the Mind. I left a few comments in the reviews for it at ffn, but I know some of the same readers are over here, so I'll answer here too.

    I know a few of you have asked if I will continue along with the Silent Shattering/Remnants in the Mind storyline. Well, I'll say that I originally did NOT plan to, but I did leave it at a place that could be expanded upon. So, now I'm actually thinking about it. But if I do, then it'll be awhile. I would want to come up with an interesting idea before I just jumped into it.

    Thanks for the interest. [face_love]
  3. Jovieve Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 19, 2002
    star 4
    **sigh** what a great opening Cascadia. Please keep going. And about Silent Shattering/Remnants in the Mind I've been following that as well and hope you will keep it up as that is a fabulous story.
  4. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2002
    star 5
    Finally a post!! A great one too!!

    Poor Obi!
  5. Obi the Kid Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 2000
    star 4
    WOOHOO! I've been waiting for you to continue this story. And what an emotional way to start things out.

    Looking forward to more of this!

    Obi
  6. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    Jovieve Thanks! You're so good for my ego. [face_love]

    AJK Thank you! Poor Obi??? Just wait until later. [face_devil]

    OTK Thank you for reading! I'm glad you are still interested in this. I'll try to keep it interesting. :D

    Post coming up very soon.
  7. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    Here's a short post. I'm not sure how I feel about it, though. I never like the action sequences that I write, and this one will probably have more action than any of my other stories so far - not that it will be a lot, though, just more than I've had before . . . probably. :D
    *******


    CHAPTER 2~Starry Clusters Bright
    Part 1

    Sleepy eyes opened to the ethereal glow of morning that lit the inside of the grass hut. Instantly, the dull gaze flew to Qui-Gon. He was motionless, of course. How else would he have been? Even in the innocent dawn light did the man look irreparable.

    Obi-Wan wearily pushed himself up from the dusty floor, slightly startled to realize that he had fallen asleep while working on the comm. A myriad of dismantled parts was strewn across the floor beneath him. He rubbed his eyes and listened cautiously to the voices and odd sounds outside.

    Deciding it might be best to see what was causing the disturbance, he rose to his feet and stumbled to the shell curtain in the doorway. He was so tired. Evidently, he had slept, but his body was telling him that it was not enough. The days after Qui-Gon's accident had been trying. And very wearing. Taking care of himself and his master in these primitive conditions were taking a toll on him. A quick glance at Qui-Gon, and he slipped through the door and into the bright day.

    Nomads were gathered all along the small clearing between the grass dwellings. They had settled down and now waited in anticipation. But there were others too. Squinting his eyes into the harsh light of the sun, he saw large reptilian beasts . . . bearing riders. The animals were over twice Obi-Wan's height, sorrel scales with darker patches of orange on their underbellies and encircling large oval coppery eyes. Strong thick legs tapered down to cloven ebony hooves.

    Humanoid and violet skinned, the riders looked like the Dibari, except for the way they dressed. Unlike the simple gowns in muted colors that the nomads wore, the new arrivals had scarlet tunics under bronze metal chestplates, black loose-fitting trousers tucked into black knee-high boots, and atop their heads, bronze helmets shone in the morning sun. These were warriors.

    Obi-Wan's hand carefully slid to his lightsabre and rested there. He watched impassively as the beasts stomped into the midst of the camp, rending deep guttural moans.

    "Bi Va'tom," said a soft voice to his side.

    The padawan glanced sideways to see a young Dibari child around six years old. Her glittering dark amethyst eyes peered up at him through a wild cascade of long wine-colored hair. "What?" he asked quietly.

    "Bi Va'tom," she repeated teasingly, as if he should know what she was talking about.

    He dropped to one knee beside her, keeping a close eye on the approaching riders. "What is . . . 'bi va'tom'? Please tell me?"

    An infectious smile broke across the little round face, and the padawan could only smile in return. "Bi Va'tom . . . The Takers," she answered, still smiling.

    One of the men barked an order to the rest. Then all of the men dismounted and spread out among the camp. Some entered huts, others grabbed children, herding them to their riding beasts.

    Obi-Wan stood, tensing and gripped his lightsabre tightly. He looked curiously at the Dibari. They made no move to stop these invaders.

    Two of the soldiers passed the padawan by, eyeing him curiously. He knew that with his appearance so different than the Dibari he undoubtedly stood out.

    Three more came directly towards him, their hands resting on sword hilts. They apparently meant him harm.

    "What do you want?" Obi-Wan asked them, hoping that they would understand Basic, as some of the nomads did.

    With a metallic slink, the swords were drawn and brought forth in offensive positions. The nomads around the padawan rushed away from him, and a pathway through the people opened up between the soldiers and the padawan like a parting sea.

    "Please don't make me hurt you." Obi-Wan said slowly. Then he reached out to the Force
  8. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    :eek: Getting very interesting Cas.And I think you did a great job with the action! :)
  9. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2002
    star 5
    *danger sense goes crazy*

    I have a very bad feeling about this...and man what a cliffie!! MORE!
  10. Wild_Huntress Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 15, 2002
    star 4
    Hmmmm.... I have a *bad* feeling about that....

    Great post and I love the depth you gave to this planet/people in so few lines! Sigh I worked so hard on that in my first major fic...
  11. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Oh my gosh, Cascadia. That was just wonderful. So descriptive and intense. Your stories are simply the best! :D
    Keep the posts comin'!
  12. Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2002
    star 5
    Oh dear, what was that all about?

    I think the action was great, Cas. Can't wait for more. :)
  13. Aunecah_Skywalker Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 25, 2002
    star 5
    [face_shocked] I missed the post. [face_shocked]

    Well, the least that is happening, Cas is something really, really bad. This is turning out to be really interesting.

    Aun
  14. Shaindl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Cas,

    Great suspense with that last line! What could they want? (cue ominous music...)

    And I know what you mean about writing action scenes - I've got a few coming up that I'm not looking forward to writing. Great work and I'll look forward to more.

    Shaindl
  15. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    oe Thank you! :)

    AJK I have a very bad feeling about this.
    And you should. [face_devil]

    Wild_Huntress I love the depth you gave to this planet/people in so few lines!
    Thanks! I'm glad you think so.

    LE [face_blush] Thanks! I'll keep 'em coming!

    Suzuran Oh dear, what was that all about?
    I hope it'll all make more sense in the next post. :D

    Aunecah Well, the least that is happening, Cas is something really, really bad.
    Of course! Things have to get really bad before they can get good, right? ;)

    Shaindl What could they want? (cue ominous music...)
    [face_laugh] You'll know in the next post.

    Thank you all for reading! You're all so sweet! Even all you lurkers. ;) I hope to get the next part done within a few days.
  16. Obi the Kid Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 2000
    star 4
    A new post! YAY! And a very intriguing ont at that...just what is in store for Obi in all this? Gotta keep tuned in.

    Oh, and I forgot to mention..I finally got around to finishing Remnants. A fantastic story all the way thru. And a very satisfying ending. I do enjoy the way you portray Obi and Qui together. Fantastic job on that story!!!!!!

    Obi
  17. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    New post in a few days?

    :D

    Goody!
  18. CYNICAL21 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2001
    star 4
    I don't know why you insist on worrying about your actions scenes, Cas. They work just fine. You had a lovely, minimalist style, meaning that you manage to raise a multitude of issues and generate great foreboding, without spouting unnecessary verbiage.

    Extremely well done - and very, very ominous.

    More soon?

    Oh, and BTW, I'll be delighted to see you pursue the storyline that follows the end of Remnants. All of your work is imaginative and compelling - but that one is something really special.

    CYN
  19. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    OTK just what is in store for Obi in all this?
    Hmm. You'll just have to wait. [face_devil] Thanks! I'm glad the ending of Remnants was satisfying. That was something I had worried about. And about the way I portray Obi and Qui together: Thank you so much! :D I don't want to spoil anything, but there'll be some Obi/Qui interaction coming up in a few posts. I hope to have alot. I think I'll enjoy writing this more once I get there.

    LE Yes, yes! A new post is in the works. :D

    CYN [face_blush] Thanks! I'm glad the action sequence turned out so well. More soon! Thank you for your comments about Remnants. :) :D

    During the struggle to write action, I had to escape into the land of mush for awhile. So I've started a little fluff/hurt/comfort fic (Obi and Qui, obviously), but I'm NOT going to start posting it until it's finished. Somebody slap me if I do. 8-}

    Thanks again!
  20. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Truly enjoyable. I can't wait for you to start part III of Remenants
  21. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    PK Thanks! :D

    Post probably tomorrow, and it'll be longer than the last one.

    Happy New Year! :D
  22. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    I finally got my DVD player, so I can watch all the extra stuff on TPM and AOTC DVD's. Hope everyone had happy holidays. :D

    Sorry for the short post last time. I hope this one will make up for it. :)
    *******


    CHAPTER 2
    Part 2

    The crowds around Obi-Wan remained silent. He noticed soldiers standing among the crowd, some of them edging their way toward him.

    "You take children as tribute?" the padawan asked, adjusting his sweaty grip on his weapon.

    Leather creaked as the commander leaned forward to rest his arms on the saddle horn. "We take whatever may be useful. Now put your weapon down before someone gets hurt."

    The padawan's eyes, brimming with concern, scanned the crowd. He knew it was not his duty to interfere with this society, but he could not help but want to keep them from suffering. Children with faces of fear stared at him in bright wonder. He doubted that any of these nomads had ever known true freedom.

    One of the soldiers approached the commander, muttering something up to him.

    Eyes suddenly bright with new knowledge fell upon Obi-Wan. "The pale man in the hut," the commander said. "Is he your companion? Your father, perhaps?"

    Obi-Wan masked his worry and faced him with a straight expression. "Perhaps."

    "He is in need of medical attention. Perhaps we can help," the man punctuated with an arched purplish eyebrow. "We have exceptional healers." He paused, appealing with outstretched arms. "Come with us, and I will see that he receives the utmost care. Trust us," he smiled.

    Obi-Wan swallowed, his throat dry and his heart urging with hope. "Why should I?" The strong resolve of his voice did not hint at the desperate beating of his heart.

    The commander sighed and spoke in a kind tone. "How long have you waited for help here? Clearly, you do not belong. Come and let our people look at him."

    Obi-Wan stood impassively, his lightsabre a gleaming azure.

    The commander visibly relaxed. "We mean you no harm. But my soldiers are accustomed to precaution when encountering anything new - such as your appearance. Come with us. If your father cannot be healed by us, then you will be free to go. You are not one of the Dibari, therefore you do not fall under threat of tribute. Come," he urged.

    Obi-Wan considered the proposal. As golden as it seemed, there were unspoken concerns - whether they could be trusted was the foremost. But there were others, as in any field situation. True, it was not his duty to protect the Dibari. As a matter of fact, the Jedi Council would probably tell him to not interfere, but that did not soften the fact that he had killed one of their children. Did he owe them, or did they even want help?

    With a sputtering flicker, the glowing blade of his lightsabre blinked out and drew him from his musing. Momentarily surprised, he then remembered that he had taken the compression coil out. Evidently, there was a little energy that had built up, but was now exhausted without the coil to keep it charged. But the failure seemed to be lost on the invaders, who likely thought he had purposely turned it off.

    Without his weapon, he knew it would be nearly impossible to protect Qui-Gon, in his fragile state, not to mention anyone else. Maybe they could heal Qui-Gon, he hoped. If not, and if this was all a deception, then the padawan deserved whatever treatment he would get from them. After all, he had caused an innocent child's death . . . and his master's incapacitation.

    Obi-Wan lowered his weapon and nodded wearily.


    ~*~


    Somewhere along the way Obi-Wan had fallen asleep. He opened eyes pale and bright in the glow of the falling sun. It took him several seconds to recall what had happened and why he was curled up next to Qui-Gon in a narrow wagon being pulled by a large beast. Sitting up, the padawan gazed at their surroundings.

    The waving ocean of verdant grassland was giving way to sandy lichen-strewn lowland. From here the gloomy mountains of the Dibari were out of sight, and the earth gave up the
  23. Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2002
    star 5
    Up late, so first reply. :D

    Lovely post, Cas. I'm glad that the King has decided to help Qui, as Obi tortures himself, of course. :p

    Great post. [face_love]
  24. Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2002
    star 5
  25. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    A double post! I think they're multiplying!
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