Breath of Night (Obi, Qui, & now Dooku!) **COMPLETED**

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Cascadia, Oct 8, 2002.

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  1. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    Shaindl Great work, Cas. Describing the emotions and thoughts of a man in a vegetative state must have been difficult but you handled it beautifully. Well done.

    Can't wait for more!


    Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying this! :D


  2. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Wonderful description of Qui's emotions and frustrations.
  3. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    Kitara Thank you! You're always so faithful to read and reply. :D

  4. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    I just noticed I've passed 100 posts! You readers are wonderful! [face_love]
  5. Jedi_Suzuran Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 22, 2002
    star 5
    What lovely, fluid descriptions, Cas, and Qui's desperation and distress was so sad. :_|

    Great post. :) :_|
  6. Sheila Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2002
    star 4
    I just knew you were going to do this Cas ! I can't think of anything that would have upped the angst level of this story except for Qui-Gon being able to see and hear Obi-Wan but not being able to respond. :_| :_|

    ** Heads off to find a box of tissues **

    Absolutely terrific descriptions in that last post. I look forward to more. I will keep my tissues by my computer for the duration. :D
  7. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    Suzuran What lovely, fluid descriptions, Cas, and Qui's desperation and distress was so sad.

    Great post.


    It is sad. :( Thank you! :_|


    Sheila I just knew you were going to do this Cas ! I can't think of anything that would have upped the angst level of this story except for Qui-Gon being able to see and hear Obi-Wan but not being able to respond.

    I already had in mind that Qui-Gon hear and see Obi-Wan, but didn't think about giving his perspective until when I started to write that post. I'm happy it came off so well. :)

    ** Heads off to find a box of tissues **

    *hands Sheila a box of tissues*

    Absolutely terrific descriptions in that last post. I look forward to more. I will keep my tissues by my computer for the duration.

    [face_blush] Thank you!


    I especially thank those who always read my fics. I guess I'm never going to drag in the masses with angsty stories like this, but at least I'm enjoying writing it, and it makes my day that others like to read it. :D I'll get more up as soon as I can.

  8. Ginger_Jedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2001
    star 6
    Wow Cascadia. I just found this and it's very well written and so emotional! I look forward to the next update :)
  9. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    Ginger_Jedi Another new reader! :D I'm still working on the next part. Thanks for coming along!
  10. Jovieve Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 19, 2002
    star 4
    Juno! Where have I BEEN!

    I get neglectful for a few days and you just take off on this story!

    Wonderful, Cascadia! Beautifully written. I feel for Qui-Gon trapped in his own body. How agonizingly frustrating and madness inducing it must be!

    Yep, I'm afraid Obi-Wan sold his soul for Qui-Gon's care - but then we all knew he would. :cool: Obi's the man!
  11. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    Jovieve Good to see you again! I was afraid I'd lost you. :D I'm trying to update very frequently now, so look for the next part soon. :)
  12. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Soon? How soon? [face_mischief] Now? How about now?! :D

    You're such a tremendous writer, Cas, I can't go long without another post!!! [face_love]
  13. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    Hmm. Looks like I have a pesky reader. 8-}

    Just kidding! Thanks for asking. I'm especially flattered when one of my favorite writers does so. [face_love]

    Soon is when I can finish this stupid scene I've been picking over for days. I'm still trudging through it. Sorry. :( I'll try to get it up soo- I mean sometime. [face_mischief] :D :D
  14. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    I'm pretty sure I can get up the next scene tonight. It's coming together, so I'll post it before tomorrow, most likely.
  15. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    *AHEM* I'd like to respond to that with a resounding:

    WOOOO-HOOOO!!! :D Can't wait for tonight! ;)
  16. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    LE I love your enthusiasm! [face_love]

    Anyway, I'm not sure if this part is up to par, but I'm tired of fooling with it, and it's finally complete enough to be able to post it.

    EDIT: Oops, I forgot to italicize the dream sequence. [face_blush] It's fixed now. Hope I didn't confuse anybody.
    *******

    CHAPTER 3
    Part 2

    The warm sensuous blush of light swept softly across youthfully rounded cheeks and a smooth strong jaw. His eyes, at the same time bright with hope and glazed with an invisible pain, stared relentlessly at the man on the bed. Refusing to leave Qui-Gon's side, Obi-Wan had been kneeling at the foot of the stylish bed since the healers had arrived, his chin resting on arms flat on the mattress.

    For long hours three healers were gathered there. Through the glass balcony doors, stars glimmered across the dome of the heavens, like priceless jewels in a black velvet crown, then faded at the first glints of dawn.

    In the shelter of the room, in the presence of the healers and his master, Obi-Wan could no longer remain awake as his heavy lids finally sealed and the welcoming arms of exhaustion carried him to slumber. . . .

    Howling winds receded, and the earth fell silent from the banshee shrieks of the twister, but the horror had just begun.

    He left the protection of the ditch and dashed across the field, frantically searching with trembling hope. Damp blades of grass slashed against his legs, and he almost slid on the wet ground while nomads followed behind, speaking words he neither knew nor concerned himself with knowing at the moment. When he finally spotted the dark brown of Qui-Gon's robe, his eyes darkened and the wild flutter in his chest increased.

    "Master," Obi-Wan whispered in desperation, dropping beside the Jedi master.

    A shaky hand pushed silvery beige strands of hair out of the noble face, and the padawan gasped upon seeing the eyes that usually flared in wisdom open, but unfocused and vacant.

    "Master, are you hurt?" he asked, smoothing the hair behind Qui-Gon's head. "Master?" The pitch in his voice had increased, and he pulled a sticky, blood-covered hand away.

    Abruptly, Qui-Gon's eyes blinked and focused on him then, but they bore a coldness that the boy had never seen.

    "M- Master?" This was not how he remembered it. No, this was not right!

    "The child is dead, Padawan," spat out Qui-Gon, sharply. "And I've received a serious head injury. There is no excuse for this."

    "But . . ." protested Obi-Wan, fighting for breath.

    "You've always let me down, Padawan," the voice continued crisply. "Always. How many innocents will pay for your incompetence? How many problems will you cause with no hope for reparation?"

    He wanted to say something to defend himself, but he knew the reprimand was justified. He knew his master was right. He was always right.

    "They should have sent you away long before they tried. I would have applauded. The whole Temple would have. They knew what I did. That was why no one ever wanted you. No one will ever want you. I never did, and I certainly never will."

    "Master, please," Obi-Wan begged.

    "It's all your fault, Padawan. All your fault. Even if I recover, it will always be your fault, and the child will always be dead. It's all your fault. All your fault. All your fault. All your fault. . . .


    How long he remained asleep he was not sure as he was stirred by a familiar presence, both gentle and gloriously powerful within the confines of his mind. At first it felt tentative, almost confused in its state before stretching with a giddy boldness.

    With effort, Obi-Wan dragged his eyes open and raised his head. At first nothing appeared different other than that the elegant chamber was presently bathed by the gleaming incandescence of a waking sun. Shafts of light poured through the balcony doors, and the whole room was vivid in peacock green, soft creams, gold, and sable. The dimness of firelight from the night before had not hinted at the sheer beauty of the place.

    The healers were go
  17. Wild_Huntress Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 15, 2002
    star 4
    :_| Oh dear. This is going to get much worse for poor Obi isn't it? :( Great post though!
  18. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    :( Me no likey this Cas ! What's wrong with our Obi?
  19. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    WH Thanks! Yes, it is going to get worse for Obi-Wan. :(

    oe What's wrong with our Obi? Well, besides Obi-Wan, who says something's wrong with him? All may not be quite like he thinks. [face_mischief]
  20. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    *gasp* This post was magnificent Cas!!! Every word was perfect. I don't know how you do it. [face_love]
  21. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    LE [face_blush] I'm glad you like it! Thank you for always reading.
  22. Jovieve Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 19, 2002
    star 4
    **Ouch!**

    Poor Obi-Wan, he never gives himself a break!

    WONDERFUL angsty post Cas, why did you doubt it? :D
  23. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    Jovieve Thanks! I guess we writers are usually unsure of how something will come across. I'm glad you liked it. :D

    You should find out just what Obi-Wan agreed to in the next post.
  24. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Congratulations on being nominated for story of the month again on darknesswithin!!! I already voted for you!!!! :D


    And, btw, can't wait for next post! ;)
  25. shanobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 11, 2001
    star 4
    Just had to pop in for an UP while I was here Cas. Left my reveiw for ya on the JAFD mailing list :)

    Great job!

    --Shan
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