Breath of Night (Obi, Qui, & now Dooku!) **COMPLETED**

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Cascadia, Oct 8, 2002.

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  1. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    LE Oh, thanks! I didn't know until you told me. Now that, I think, is my best written story so far. Remnants in the Mind was definitely a turning point in changing some things about how I write and becoming more comfortable in staying true to my own personal style of writing. Although at the beginning of it I wasn't there yet - I was still trying to write like too many others. But anyway, enough of that. I could go on and on about writing. Thank you for voting for me, LE. [face_blush] That's so sweet of you. [face_love] I've been working on the next part here.

    shan Thank you for the up. :D I let you in on the main theme for this story on the JAFD list reply I sent. I'm glad you're all caught up now. :) Something significant is going to happen in the next chapter. Whether or not I decide to split it up and post the first part of it to get up a post earlier is still undecided, though. Boy, I'm so talkative today. . . .

  2. CYNICAL21 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2001
    star 4
    Perfect, Cas - and, despite the beautiful visual scenery you're providing, the foreboding is now thick enough to cut with a knife. So when do we get to find out just what it was that our poor, suffering Obi agreed to, in exchange for his Master's cure? Nothing good, I'll wager!

    More soon?

    CYN
  3. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    CYN When, you ask? I think it'll be in the next chapter, but I might split it into 2 parts - which could be in 2 posts. I'm not sure yet though, because I thought I would already be to that part and it's turning out longer than I thought it would be. But I don't mind. I'm having fun writing scenes. :D

    Nothing good, is right. But poor Obi might just feel like he deserves it. More in a day or two or three.
  4. shanobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 11, 2001
    star 4
    I missed something apparently. I don't think I read part 2. I've got to check it out. Just what has our favorite little padawan done now??

    --Shan
  5. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    It was very subtle, shan. I didn't want it to be so obvious at first, so you might not have missed the 2nd chapter. I don't know. CYN picked it out easily, though.
  6. CYNICAL21 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2001
    star 4
    Shan - devious little cuss, isn't she? :D But this is turning out to be so delightfully addictive, who cares?

    CYN
  7. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2002
    star 5
    Awe that was sweet :_|

    Really great one Cas!
  8. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    I agree that 'Remnants' was just an exceptional work. One of my very favorites to be sure! ;)

    I'm glad you're getting comfortable with your personal style. It's wonderful. And an upcoming post?

    Great! :D
  9. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    CYN Shan - devious little cuss, isn't she? But this is turning out to be so delightfully addictive, who cares?

    [face_laugh] Devious, huh? Well, as long as I can keep you reading you can call me anything you like. ;)

    Arwen-Jade Awe that was sweet Really great one Cas!

    Thank you! :D

    LE I agree that 'Remnants' was just an exceptional work. One of my very favorites to be sure! I'm glad you're getting comfortable with your personal style. It's wonderful. And an upcoming post? Great!

    Thanks! I had trouble working out part of the next scene in my head, but I figured it out last night. So I hope I can get alot of it written today. :)
  10. Sheila Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2002
    star 4
    Beautiful post Cas . I will definitely need those tissues. You had me choking up three separate times. First with Obi-Wan's terrible nightmare, then when Qui-Gon awoke and last when poor Obi-Wan starts to doubt himself yet again. You are an incredibly talented writer. You find just the right words to portray the emotions perfectly. I look forward to your next post even if I am dreading the fallout of Obi-Wan's agreement.
  11. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    Sheila *passes Sheila a huge box of tissues* Sorry, I didn't know this story was going to be so sad, or I would have put a tissue warning on it. :( I enjoy writing emotions, though. I have a little fic I've been slowly writing that starts out really happy before it gets a little angsty. The end should be happy too, I hope. :D

    I have the first scene of the next post ready, but I want one more scene finished before posting it. And - bad news - you still won't find out what Obi agreed to until the post after. [face_mischief]
  12. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
  13. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    [face_shocked] Moi?? Surely you jest. [face_laugh]


    [face_mischief]


  14. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
  15. Lieutenant_Page Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 17, 2001
    star 4
    Alrighty! I didn't know this was up and running so I havn't read it as you were posting. Sorry about that. But I'm all caught up now :)

    I'm glad Qui-Gon's awake :) I wonder if someone stole that com or if Obi-Wan just forgot to bring it....hmmm
  16. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    LP Yay! You found this again! :D

    I wonder if someone stole that com or if Obi-Wan just forgot to bring it....hmmm

    Good question . . . post is coming up!
  17. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    There is a small humor warning on this one. It's not much, though, just a little. I hope it's ok. :)

    *******


    CHAPTER 4~Trouble in the Distance Rose
    Part 1

    Obi-Wan brushed away the distressful worry over the missing comm unit and slipped into the hall, intent on finding someone to bring a meal to his master. The corridor was wide with an arching ceiling that seemed to disappear up into blackest obscurity. Lit torches perched on rusting metal sconces along the walls served as the only lights. Their flames crackled softly and danced about, throwing gloomy shadows on stone grey walls and embroidered tapestries that hung periodically along the way.

    There was no one in sight as he wandered about the endless dim passageways that made him think of a creepy labyrinth with an unnamed hideous creature lurking around the next corner. That thought elicited a tiny shiver down his spine.

    As he walked, one particular tapestry caught his eye. Its sparkling threads twinkled shyly in the dinginess, but it was the picture that drew his gaze. A bearded man with the build of a warrior warmly clasped a younger man in his arms. A perfect picture of a father and son, reminding him so much of he and Qui-Gon in recent years. The rogue he was, Qui-Gon had not listened to the Council's warnings of strong emotional attachments and had formed a much closer bond with his padawan learner than had been advised.

    Obi-Wan had been grateful.

    The Council had not.

    Perhaps they would have preferred the dream Qui-Gon, the padawan mused, bitterly. His master had never been cold toward him, but last night's dream version had taken on a harsh reality in itself by touching that sensitive pang of guilt for having ended one life and seriously injuring another.

    He blinked and realized he was standing still in front of that tapestry, staring at it. Qui-Gon loved him like a son. That was a fact. And would have been enough to make his heart soar, but for the heaviness of guilt for hurting him that remained.

    "Are you lost?"

    Only mildly startled, Obi-Wan turned toward the voice. "I suppose I am," he answered truthfully in a soft timbre.

    The woman was middle-aged and dressed plainly, the padawan noticed, in a simple dress of dull black, with her dark wine-colored hair wound into a tight bun. Probably a servant.

    Eyes as dark as a starless sky narrowed with scrutiny, as they looked him up and down. "You must be the new . . . the new guest," she said a bit guardedly, her wispy lips stretching to a thin smile.

    Obi-Wan folded his hands within the billowing sleeves of his robe and turned fully toward her. "Yes, ma'am."

    Her face remained half in shadow, half in torchlight as she continued her dark stare. "Why are you out of your room?" she asked, still tight-lipped.

    Obi-Wan blinked at her accusatory tone. "Well, my . . . uh, my father," the boy explained, not sure why he was keeping the nature of their relationship a secret, "needs some nourishment. I was hoping-"

    Her sable eyes suddenly sharpened in interest. "He's awake?"

    Obi-Wan nodded, his expression serious. "Yes. He is."

    She noted the apparent childlike nature of this one and nodded slowly. It would not do to pity him though, so she cast away that thought and said, "I'll take you back to your room then. Breakfast will be brought to you."

    "Thank you." The padawan bowed politely.

    Ignoring the kindness, she swept past him. "Come. And don't leave your room again unless told to," she called over her shoulder, her tone rimed in frost.

    Through the dim corridors, Obi-Wan followed closely behind. They only paused once, when three small, gray-furred rodent-like creatures seemed to appear out of nowhere and scurry past them, only to disappear in the blackness of an intersecting passageway.

    Obi-Wan had almost drawn his lightsabre in surprise, ignoring the fact that it would not have worked with the missing part. "What was that?" he asked in a hushed breath.

    She snorted sarcastically. "Karabils. They're perfectly harmless . . . as
  18. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    Like I said before. EVIL! :(
  19. Shaindl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    Start the ominous music...

    The plot thickens and we're about to find out just what Obi-Wan has gotten himself into. Can't wait!

    Shaindl
  20. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2002
    star 5
    ditto that, evilness!!! Great post though, I wanna know what's up with these people!!
  21. Cascadia Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 15, 2002
    star 4
    oe Like I said before. EVIL!

    [face_laugh]

    Shaindl The plot thickens and we're about to find out just what Obi-Wan has gotten himself into. Can't wait!

    Yep, it's coming up next. :D

    Arwen_Jade ditto that, evilness!!! Great post though, I wanna know what's up with these people!!

    [face_devil] 'What's up' with them will be in the next posty.

  22. CYNICAL21 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2001
    star 4
    Note to self: Give good writers a mind-boggling lecture spelling out the true ugliness of leaving readers with their tongues hanging out, dying to know what comes next!!!!!!!

    There's entirely too much cliff-hanging nonsense going on around here. :eek:

    Although I do admit to having the most - AHEM - incredible fantasy images of what might be waiting for our favorite padawan.

    And now you've done it again, Cas. I'm going to need another cold shower.

    DRAT!!!!

    Somebody go round up those cyberhounds - just in case certain authors forget to post on a timely basis.

    CYN
  23. Lieutenant_Page Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 17, 2001
    star 4
    What are these people up to...and what do they want with a comm unit?

    I knew there was someting fishy about the King's Neice (can't spell her name right now :p ).
  24. Sheila Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2002
    star 4
    Poor Obi-Wan is so distracted by his own guilt and worry over Qui-Gon, he is not really paying attention to his situation at all. Being told to stay in his room didn't set off the alarm in him that it should. I can't wait to find out what is really going on here and just what Obi-Wan actually agreed to. :)
  25. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Somehow I missed the other post. I think they are about to find out exactly what Obi-Wan agreed to.
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