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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Beyond the Saga Bringing Balance - My First Fic

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by tapperz, Mar 8, 2016.

  1. tapperz

    tapperz Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 8, 2016
    TItle - Bringing Balance
    Authors - tapperz
    Timeframe - not exact. at least a thousand years after the events in movies (or before, see notes)
    Characters - Master Fer, Itnel Ra, Darth Epax, Master Tilal, Jun Wab (Padawan)
    Genra - Drama....I guess.
    Keywords - Balance, Drama, Sith, Jedi, Spiders, teachings,
    Summary - A youngling learns the whole truth that is normally reserved for the masters
    Notes - SO, this is my first fanfic. I have really no idea what I am doing. HOWEVER, I had an idea for a story based in the star wars universe, and wanted to share it in some way. This isn't the original story I had, but it talks of a young girl learning the story. This is just me "testing the waters" to see how the story might be received. I went ahead and put that it was after the movies (just so I could make references) but it isn't set in stone.

    One last thing, I know nothing about the star wars universe outside of what is straight up spelled out for you in the movies. So if I get something wrong with confirmed canon, please let me know, so I can try to fix it.



    Chapter 1. A meeting.

    Jun sat in the room meditating. She had been called to one of the personal study rooms by Master Fer. The topic hadn't been mentioned, but it was easy to guess.

    The book she had been reading recently had some interesting information on one of the past masters, Master Tilal. She had been going over the teachings of the powerful man, when she had realized something. None of the books with his teachings were written by him. In fact, there was no record of him and his influence outside of things written by others.

    She had taken this to Master Fer, but he brushed her aside at the time. Shortly after one of her classes, the teacher had told her to meet Master Fer in this particular study room. She had come early and was trying to get her thoughts in order, in case Master Fer wanted to know what she had already learned.

    All of the resources that did mention Master Tilal were vague and only in lessons related to keeping the balance "..and as we learned from Tilal," "...this calls to the teachings from Master Tilal." but none of them talked about him directly, outside of calling him a "great teacher." But there was nothing on his history, his achievements, nothing. It seemed almost as if Master Tilal had been born a dead wise man.This was she could think of to explain how suddenly the records go from showing nothing, to everyone calling him a wise teacher.

    The door opened, and she snapped out of it. Expecting Master Fer, she was confused to see some tall man she was unfamiliar with. She could tell by his outfit he was not a master, but he could not have had access to the room unless he had Master Fer's permission.

    "I take it Fer isn't here yet?" He grumbled. Barely acknowledging Jun, he took an exaggerated look around room, as if there was somewhere Master Fer could hide in the small room. "He's late."

    An older gravely voice came from the still open door "Jun. What do we say when a Master is late to an appointment?"

    She recognized the voice as that of Master Fer before she saw him. "If a teacher is late to a lesson, it is because the lesson is on patience." She responded.

    The young man raised an eyebrow. "HA! Good for a student, But I am not one of the students to be taught."

    A slight bit of indignation managed to hit Jun before she could stop it. She responded in defense of Master Fer. "One never stops being a student, for even masters learn from the young."

    "Well said!" said Master Fer. Interrupting the reply already forming on the young mans lips. "But, we are not here to argue philosophy, this is a study room, not a politicians debate. Jun, may I introduce the guest, Itnel Ra. He is not a Jedi Master, but he is to be given the same respect."

    Itnel gave a gruff "harumph" Obviously still dwelling on the opening remarks. But he wasn't so vengeful as to deny sharing in the greeting bow Jun gave him.

    Turning to her teacher, Jun asked "Master, I believe I can guess why we are meeting today. Its about my questions about Master Tilal." At mention of the name, Itnel's eyes sharpened on her, and a look of understanding came over his face for a brief moment, before it turned stern again.

    Master Fer nodded, "Yes, but it is not so easy to answer your questions without an explanation. So before I start to explain, tell me what you have learned."

    Jun walked to the display console in the center of the room. Pulling up an image of the man in question. The title under the image read "Master Tilal - Jedi" The face of Master Tilal filled the room, and she began to review all she knew of him. "He was a human man that blessed by the force, and was reported to be as powerful as Yoda, or Skywalker themselves, some argue he was more powerful." A nod from Master Fer showed she was correct so far, and a small chuckle from Itnel. After neither of them interrupted her, she continued. "He was one of the greatest philosophers, particularly with regards to the Force. With focus on how to keep Balance, both of self and of the Force as a whole. However, the first mention I can find of him is of him aiding in the fight with Darth Epax, and even that is vague."

    Taking a moment to catch her breathe. Itnal chimed in "So far a clear summary, and I can see why Fer wanted me here. I am one of the few people dedicated to researching the life of Master Tilal, and one of the few with unrestricted access to his story."

    Jun's eyes shot towards him. Unrestricted? The past of a master? Why would the history of someone so powerful be hidden from the students?

    Fer sighed. "Yes, his story is restricted, because although he has lessons that are good, and should be shared. His studies are dangerous, and his actions are not ones we share until a youngling has proven they will not be unbalanced from the story."

    Jun couldn't hold herself back "Unbalanced? Master, we have access to horrible historical events. We even have access to recordings of Darth Vader slaughtering young ones in the temple. What could he have done that would need to be removed from public record?"

    Master Fer stepped up to the console, and inserted an access cube. There was a flicker of the face of Tilal as the hologram recognized the cube. Master Fer began typing commands into the console, talking the whole while " Maybe it is not the perfect option to remove the records, but it is the best in the current situation. Master Tilal was indeed a powerful Jedi, perhaps more powerful than any known before. And yes, he was a large influence in the philosophy of the Force, and methods of keeping the balance. However, he took actions, that by themselves were not something to be cleansed, but along with the ideals he held while committing them, they are dangerous." He finished typing, and the image flickered again. The face seemed a bit younger, but clearly the same, and the name under the floating face had changed.

    It read "Darth Epax - Sith Lord"

    She had to fight the wonder and panic back to keep herself calm, thinking back to all of the teachings she had read, how they had been insightful, how they were spread around as wise and, arguably most disconcerting, the fact that she had agreed with them all. How could a Sith be such a wise force, that the Jedi themselves would hide his true past in order to claim his teachings?

    Master Fer gave her a moment to calm herself, and then asked Jun what she knew of Darth Epax. "He was the first Sith lord to come to power after the second era of peace. We had finally ended the threat of the Sith, and we had several hundred years of peace, but then Darth Epax came forward and, by himself, brought the Jedi to their knees before a handful of Masters managed to kill him, but not before he had brought up a pupil of his own. He brought back the Sith, and ended the peace we had found."

    A silence hung in the air. Itnel spoke up for the first time in a while "This is where I come in." He walked to console and typed in a short command. The image changed to that of a forest planet, but not one Jun recognized. "To tell a story correctly, one has to tell it from the beginning. This is Tilal's home planet. A small forest planet called Piren. Have you ever heard of it?" Jun shook her head.

    "Not many have." He continued, "It is one of the things in the restricted history. The planet no longer exists, at least not in the same way." He typed another command, and the planet changed. It was the same planet, but it was no longer a forest planet, even with the zoomed out view she could tell that the planet was covered in fire. Trees were burning, smoke surrounding the globe.

    As she stared at the image, it began to zoom in on what, eventually, took the shape of buildings. All of them burning. A shadow appeared in the streets, a screaming youngling, clutching to an old man, who was clearly dead. Master Fer covered his face, and she could tell he was feeling the same sadness she did. Itnal spoke up, "The youngling in this image, is one of 3 survivors from the destruction of Piren. Three, out of several thousand that called Piren home."

    Jun wanted to reach out and touch the young man's shoulder, the holograph, advanced as it was, had captured a clear picture of agony on his face. Tears on his cheeks as he desperately clutched to the dead man. "Did Darth Epax do this?" She whispered.

    "No." Master Fer's face had cleared, but his eyes still showed his sadness. "The youngling in this holograph, is the one who would eventually take the title of Darth Epax."

    She snapped her hand back to her side. "But master, what could destroy a planet like this that wasn't something done by the dark side?"

    Silence filled the room. Jun gasped as she figured out why they were quiet. Why something so horrible would be removed from the Jedi records. Master Fer confirmed her fear.

    "The destruction of Piren, is the greatest sin the Jedi have ever committed."

    End of Chapter 1

    Authors notes - So like i said, this is just kinda setting up for the actual story I have in my head. I figured I would set something like this up to see if this gained interest/people reading it. I know nothing of the EU, and all I know about the movie universe is what is spelled out for you when watching the movies. I welcome any notes/corrections you may like to share. Please bear with my ignorance!
     
    Jedi_Perigrine and Ewok Poet like this.
  2. TheChosenSolo

    TheChosenSolo Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 9, 2011
    I like it! I think you're safe in placing this a thousand years after the Saga, IIRC even the Legends EU never went down that far. But yeah, you've already hooked me with this first chapter, it's a great story and I can't wait to see more! Can I get a tag?
     
    Ewok Poet likes this.
  3. tapperz

    tapperz Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 8, 2016
    Glad you liked it! I would love to give you a tag, but I don't know forums. If there isn't an obvious button for it, I don't know how to do it. I tried looking this up, but the only "tag" related stuff is related to the title of the thread. Gonna have to throw me a bone here buddy.
     
    Ewok Poet likes this.
  4. gaarastar58

    gaarastar58 Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 19, 2010
    This is a great opening chapter. I love stories about the ambiguity of the Jedi and Sith teachings. Good characters and you managed to convey a lot of information without it seeming too info-dumpy. I would also like to be tagged (to do that just type @ and then a username eg gaarastar58 ).
     
  5. tapperz

    tapperz Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 8, 2016
    AN: gaarastar58 Anakin Solo Revanchist
    Oh mah goodness. it's literally been months. I am super sorry, making up for it with a long one. I have been continuing to figure out what I wanna do, I just haven't been.......ya know......doing it. The main thing I decided, is I am gonna switch between perspectives every chapter, this one is from the perspective of 'Darth Epax' next one will go back to Jun, then back to Epax, etc, etc.

    Chapter 2: Peaceful days.

    "Young Jun, to truly understand any man, good or evil, you must first learn his past. Therefor, we will start from before he took on the mantle of Sith."

    The forest was pretty calm. Tilal was walking down the paved path alone. His destination was pretty clear, there was only one family that lived this far from the center of town. He was headed to the Iktal forgery, the home of his childhood friend Epax.

    "MY FEET!" he screamed to no one. he had been walking for sometime. his feet didn't actually hurt, he was just ready to sit down. He probably could have gotten away with hijacking one of the old unused speeders in the construction zone, but he would also get a talking to when he brought it back.

    When Piren had been discovered, there had been some life already there, a tribal community. The founders sent by the Republic had taken to keeping their kids from using "advanced" technology, so that assimilating the primative frog looking race would be easier. The "temporary inconviniece" ended up becoming tradition. The excuse was that kids should learn to live life without shortcuts, so that they don't take advantage of the gifts of technology.

    Epax's house was in view. Tilal could already hear Epax hammering away on what would probably be his caturn, His proof. Everyone went through a ceremony when they went from "younglings" to "adults", and part of it was to make something with your own hands, to prove that you could handle yourself without technology. Most kids didn't do this part, in fact, some never went without in the first place.

    Epax had been raised in the orphanage. Never new his parents. Tilal had a mom, but no dad. His dad had died in an accident when he was a newborn. So, whenever his mom had to go to work, she would drop him off at the orphanage so he wouldn't be alone.

    This orphanage was run by an old man that everyone called the Vetern. Never told anyone his past, but it was clear from his scars, he had seen violence. He was extremely old fashioned, and forced the old tradition on the handful of kids that were in his charge, including Tilal and Epax.

    Tilal was at the building now, and went around the outside to the back, where the noise was coming from. There, covered in sweat, hammer in hand, was his friend.

    "Eh." Or at least, that's what it sounded like Epax said. He was looking down at the metal piece he was working on, and had barely even looked up to see Tilal walk through the opening in the wall.

    "Boy! If yer gonna talk, open yer mouth!" Screamed Marx Iktal, Epax's adoptive father.

    Tilal couldn't help chuckling. Marx was tough on Epax, but it was clear he had cared for the boy ever since he cought the kid trying to use his forging machines. Neither of the younglings had ever bothered telling the gruff man that Epax had actually done it on a dare.

    "Sorry sir." Epax mumbled, he looked up at Tilal, "I'll be done soon Til, then we can head out."

    "Take as long as you need. The vetern isn't that impatient." He responded. They were meeting with the old man that afternoon for a fighting lesson. The vetern had once caught the two fighting, after being hit by a rogue thrown rock, he insisted that if they were gonna hit each other, they should know what they were doing.

    Tilal pulled a stool out from a corner and watched Epax work on the lump of metal. Tilal couldn't figure out what it was supposed to be. He could tell it had multiple seperat parts, cause there were several other pieces on a table nearby.

    Epax moved his project to a weird box that Tilal knew was meant to cool the metal without harming it. Epax then moved on to the table with the piece and some tools, and set to work. After a few minutes of tinkering, Epax turned his proud face to Tilal, holding up his project.

    It was a retractable blade, as demonstrated by Epax as he held it aloft, pressing the button that was causing the in and out motion.

    "It's based on that weapon that the vetern has, that lightsaber. I can't make an exact replica without knowin more about the things."

    Tilal sighed. "You really are obsessed with those jedi, huh?"

    "At least my caturn can be used by someone other than me." Epax pushed a button and the blade contracted. He handed it to his dad who started inspecting it without saying anything.

    "What was the name you made up again? A harp-a-what?"

    "Harperium." He smirked thinking about the complicated string instrument taking up half his room. It was inspired by a musician that had come through with a rare old instrument called a harp. TiLal had fallen in love with the sound, and, more importantly, the challenge of learning to play it.

    He had gotten so good at playing the harp after a few years, he dicided to amp it up by building his own, but one that had 5 times as many strings. At first even he didn't know what to do with the huge contraption that swalled him whole when he sat in the center. After some time, and alot of frustration, he had managed to come up with a few songs he could play on the thing.

    "Meh, not bad fer a kid." came the gruff old man's appraise of the blade. Which, from anyone else, meant it was an impressive piece of work. "Y'know, some o' them older tradition say ya need tah name a blade......"

    Epax was shaking his head before the man could finish. "Not this one, it's based off the lightsabers, and lightsabers only ever get named if the one using it becomes famous. Even then it's just named after the guy using it. 'Luke's lightsaber' 'Darth Vader's lightsaber.' stuff lIke that."

    "Each 'is own." He handed the blade back to his son. "Still don't understand why ya thought an ol metal sword was a good idea, won't do no good against a blaster."

    "Just thought it would .... you know.....look cool." came Epax's sheepish reply. He was often teased at the orphanage for his imagination. But it's the main thing that had made him and Tilal friends, their shared fascination with fantasy.

    End chapter 2.

    AN: very info heavy. but I promise this is gonna be the only/one of few chapters like it. It won't take long for poop(need to review rules on language) to hit the fan, so I was trying to get a ALL the basic back story stuff crammed in here.
     
    Jedi_Perigrine likes this.
  6. Jedi_Perigrine

    Jedi_Perigrine Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 22, 2008
    Pretty good! I can see you've got a nice world under construction. I like the characters so far and am looking forward to learning more about them. Please tag me when you update again. :)
     
  7. TheChosenSolo

    TheChosenSolo Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 9, 2011
    Glad to see an update! I like the exposition, it was cool to get to know a little bit of the history :)
     
  8. gaarastar58

    gaarastar58 Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 19, 2010
    Nice update, you're right, too much exposition can be a bad thing, but I think you did a pretty good job of weaving it into the action which is good. I look forward to finding out more about Epax and his obsession with Jedi and lightsabers, although I can't help but feel his friendship with Tilal won't end well somehow...