Saga Broken - An Episode III Duel - Complete

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by red rose knight, May 15, 2003.

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  1. red rose knight Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2001
    star 4
    Summary: Speculation on the Episode III duel between Obi-Wan and Anakin/Vader.
    __________________

    The usual disclaimers apply. George Lucas owns it all; I am not making any money on this.
    __________________

    Authors Note: I don?t know if it is as ready as I would like, but if I don?t post it I will just keep tinkering with it and accomplish nothing else. This was just one of those evil plot bunnies that wouldn?t let me write anything else until I completed it. This tale is purely my own fantasy.

    Thanks, PaddyJuan, for help over the bumps!
  2. red rose knight Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2001
    star 4
    Broken

    With every fall of worn boots, dust and small pieces of debris were sent skipping across the broken stone floor. Deep mahogany material brushed lightly against the brown leather as the silent figure paused before continuing his journey through the crumbling remains of one of Theed?s great buildings.

    Not even the gentle breeze that swirled in through the collapsed ceiling like the currents of the ever-flowing Force could soften the sound of footfalls.

    A mournful cry of a kaari bird in the distance, weeping for its lost grasslands and poisoned springs cut into the strange pall that dominated chamber.

    The gray floor rose up in a gentle crescendo before reaching a precipice that ran the length of the main hangar. Obi-Wan Kenobi stopped at the edge, staring down at the more than a meter drop. His exhaustion-dulled thoughts wondered what kind of firepower it took to shatter the floor and bedrock below.

    A small frown slipped across the care worn Jedi?s face. The truth was he knew exactly what kind of power it took. More times than he wished, he had witness the might of the Grand Army of the Republic, nee the newly christened Imperial Navy.

    Turning toward the red tinged Naboo sky, the Jedi welcomed the warmth of the yellow light that filtered through the dust-clogged air. Watery blue eyes crinkled at the edges as he watched tender wisps of smoke move like ominous clouds overhead.

    Bits of rubble tumbled over the diminutive cliff as the Jedi took a step closer to the edge. His calm gaze lightly scanned the crumbling walls of the hangar. A whiff of acrid air caught his senses and impelled Obi-Wan to stifle a cough.

    Burying his hands in the billowing folds of his cloak sleeves, he continued his silent inspection of the hangar. The waterfall entrance had collapsed under the assault. It had been a miracle that the cliff face itself had not torn away. Glancing back over his shoulder, he noted the burned out remains of the only starfighter left in the hangar. Just a touch of the goldenrod yellow remained at the back edge of the crushed ship.

    The rest of the starfighters had fallen in battle; their scattered remains littered the blackened countryside. The combined efforts of the Naboo and Gungan armies could do little against the might of the Imperial troops that stormed across the planet leaving a swath of destruction in their path. Those few that had survived the attack came away with little more than their lives.

    The suddenness of so many lives lost left a psychic scar planet wide, the horror still fresh in the Force. The unseen tides slammed into the Jedi, the agony of a million voices suddenly crying out in terror. Not even the most intricately woven of mental shielding could protect the Jedi from the onslaught. Not that it mattered to Obi-Wan. Naboo?s devastation was not enough to drown out his own anguish.

    The wounds of his heart remained for no salve could heal them.

    Reddish-brown of his cloak fluttered as he leapt down onto the sunken section of floor. Dust stirred upon a muted landing.

    Maintaining his inspection of the chamber, the Jedi continued on his journey toward the palace entrance until a patch of white caught his eye.

    Obi-Wan approached the object, which was coated completely in a yellowy mixture of cinder and stone, save for a small area that gleamed perfectly white as if beckoning to him. Answering the silent summons, he used the toe of his boot to clear a small area in front of the waiting object before kneeling.

    Battle worn fingers grasped the bottom edge of a discarded helmet. Gripping the cool surface he roughly pulled it from the rubble and turned it over in his hands. With his sleeve, he wiped the face clean revealing the emotionless mask of a Clonetrooper.

    Fingers tightening over the scratched surface until his knuckles paled but just as quickly as the brush of anger had exerted itself, it was released into the Force.

    Caressing the edge of his cloak over the black eye slits, he wondered how this so
  3. JadeSolo Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2002
    star 6
    I get first reply (I hope)!!

    Wow, I've been waiting so long for another of your stories, Red, and this one, as usual, is excellent.
  4. JadeSolo Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2002
    star 6
    Oh, and silly me, in my excitement I forgot to say this--your descriptions are really incredible and vivid. It's like I can actually see everything happening.
  5. Shaindl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    What a way to brighten my day - a new RRK story!

    Incredible images you've painted here - the desolation and emptiness of the hangar, the helmets lying amongst the debris, the description of Obi-Wan. I love the idea of their final battle taking place on Naboo in the same chamber where it all started. I don't believe I've seen that before.

    Wonderful, haunting beginning, Red! Thanks for picking my day up immeasurably!

    Shaindl
  6. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Oh my gosh red ! [face_shocked]

    That was astonishing! I can't believe how beautiful your descriptions were. Every word was perfectly placed and just...breathtaking. You should NEVER stop writing.

    LuvEwan

    Oh, and need more...if there is more...
  7. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Excellent, RRK! I liked how you echoed the past with the unbearable present. The descriptions were wonderful - I could picture it all too well. Loved how the yellow starfighter could just be hinted at just a touch of goldenrod yellow - vivid and easy to see in my mind's eye.

    Looking forward to more....
  8. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    I found it! This is the perfect brightspot in my dull and sleepy day.
  9. PaddyJuan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 15, 2002
    star 4
    such a very vivid beginning of the end
  10. naw ibo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 18, 1999
    star 5
    RRK, you are certainly back with a vengeance. :D

    The descriptions are so vivid, both of the setting and of the inside of Obi-Wan's heart and mind. It seems there are places there which are even more devastated than the planet Naboo.

    I especially like the way you have connected the past to this moment, where Obi-Wan's path was changed forever.
  11. red rose knight Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2001
    star 4
    JadeSolo?I get first reply (I hope)!! ? Wow, I've been waiting so long for another of your stories ?? Wow! You were quick on the draw too. Thanks!

    Shaindl?I love the idea of their final battle taking place on Naboo in the same chamber where it all started. I don't believe I've seen that before. ?? It does take place on Naboo and it doesn?t. Tonight?s post will hopefully clear it up. There are 2 duels?one in the past and one in the present. I didn?t want to make it easy on everyone. ;)

    LuvEwan?You should NEVER stop writing. ?? Well, I am trying not to. Thanks! And yes, there is more?7 more posts.

    dianethx?I liked how you echoed the past with the unbearable present. The descriptions were wonderful - I could picture it all too well. ?? [face_blush] I am glad. Thank you.

    PadawanKitara?I found it! This is the perfect brightspot in my dull and sleepy day. ?? I am happy that I could put a little light in your life?although you will probably regret that later. ;)

    PaddyJuan? such a very vivid beginning of the end ?? Hopefully the rest of it will hold up.

    naw ibo? the inside of Obi-Wan's heart and mind. It seems there are places there which are even more devastated than the planet Naboo. ?? This is just the tip of the iceberg.

    Thank you everyone, another post will be up later this evening.
  12. Sugar_Bear Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2001
    star 3

    Outstanding, RRK!. A pleasure to partake in a rich and marvelously detailed post graced with the luminousness of Obi-Wan's indomitable bowed, but not broken spirit.
  13. red rose knight Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2001
    star 4
    Sugar Bear?A pleasure to partake in a rich and marvelously detailed post graced with the luminousness of Obi-Wan's indomitable bowed, but not broken spirit. ?? Wow. Don?t know how much I missed those elegantly worded replies, SB.



    There are equal amounts of flashbacks in this story and I didn?t want half the story in italics and using the words past and present to define didn?t look so good, the same with using the word flashback. I did want to separate them so all sections beginning with Anamnesis is a flashback. Hope that makes sense and you will have to forgive my artistic needs, they sometimes get the better of me. :D

    Anamnesis = A recalling to memory; recollection.
  14. red rose knight Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2001
    star 4
    Anamnesis

    Durasteel vibrated under Obi-Wan?s thunderous pace as he raced over the lightweight decking of the narrow catwalk. The gentle, upward curve of the walkway carried the Jedi across the massive expanse of the Senate chamber?s false ceiling. Like the webbing of a great arachni, the suspended walkways floated above the elegant Borimai glass dome.

    The crystalline creation shimmered with ethereal blues and greens, casting a calming light into the chamber below. The effect was opposite within the false ceiling where an eerie turquoise ambience filled the enclosure.

    Turmoil raged within the Jedi as he bound from one section to the next. Nearing the apex, he pressed his emotions to the side and cast out through the Force. Every place he touched with his extended senses, the darkness reigned. With every passing moment, the light grew a little dimmer. Jedi were in battle for their lives all about the structure and he could feel their numbers diminishing with every passing moment.

    If he did not enter the fight soon, he would be all that was left of the Jedi within the Senate Complex, not that escape was his plan. The Army of the Republic was marching on Coruscant. All avenues of escape would soon be closed.

    The violent shake of the rickety catwalk threatened to rip apart at the brackets and crash into the heavy glass that separated him from the floor far below. Yet, he could not slow, every footfall driven by desperation.

    The madness had to be brought to an end.

    Palpatine must be stopped.

    The murky veil woven by the Sith lord had done its job well to disguise the dark power he wielded as well as his plans for galactic domination. Now the shroud was lifted and those that could?would?waged battle against the agent of darkness. They would die if need be.

    He would die.

    Just beyond his reach, he could feel the two faces of the Force battling one another and the light struggling against the consuming darkness.

    At the apex of arching web of maintenance walkways, he vaulted onto a work platform. His gaze zoomed in on the next catwalk that would lead him a little closer to the Chancellor?s heavily guarded office before he had to enter the patrolled and embattled corridors.

    With the barest warning through the Force, his breath hitched as he bounded backward just out of reach of a flaming blue blade. The familiar hum of a lightsaber flew at him once more causing Obi-Wan to duck out of the way and crash into the thin rail eliciting a groan as it bent under the strain. Colored splotches danced across his vision and hid his attacker in the shadows.

    ?Traitor!? a voice echoed off the curved steel plating of the roof. The otherworldly lighting was shattered once more by the bright blue saber blade as it was driven toward the stunned Jedi but came to an abrupt halt the instant it crossed the paler blue of Obi-Wan?s weapon.

    ?Anakin!? the older Jedi called out as he blocked another intense attack before throwing himself out of the way of a wild swing. Shock radiated through the ginger haired knight at the darkness that swam about the youth. Wrapped up in the moment, he was not given the time to think.

    Anakin Skywalker drove the blade down, slicing through the railing where his master had stood a heartbeat earlier. ?Did you think I would let your treachery go?? he growled through clenched teeth the rage vibrating in his voice.

    Squaring his shoulders, Obi-Wan brought his lightsaber up defensively as he carefully shifted a step toward the walkway. He did not have the time to fight his apprentice. He would cross swords.

    The Force pulsed with Anakin?s fury and the ease at which he grasped the Dark Side.


    ?I will not fight you,? Obi-Wan said, the strength of his defiant voice echoed throughout.

    The dark tides within the Force bloomed with the declaration but Anakin merely laughed. The tall man straightened as calm glazed his features; the Borimai glass glistened in his bright blue eyes but reflected no joy. ?I?m not here to figh
  15. Shaindl Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2002
    star 4
    It is far too difficult to say how powerful your writing is. So I'll leave it at that was an incredibly beautifully rendered scene. The emotion in it was so raw and palpable. Anakin's anger and power and Obi-Wan's desperation. Magnificent work, RRK!

    Shaindl
  16. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Again, wonderfully written with incredible descriptions. I could almost hear the creak of the catwalk as the metal continues to strain beyond safety to its breaking point!

    Looking forward to more!
  17. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    Amazing. If only the film could be like that. I know- I'm only dreaming...
  18. Sugar_Bear Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2001
    star 3

    A terrific post, RRK, riveting and dazzling in execution.

    This lightening paced, action packed confrontation blazed with electrifying intensity and visceral emotionalism.
  19. Flashbacca Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2002
    star 4
    :eek: Master red - you finally posted it - and :_| I almost missed it :( but I am here finally and all I have to say is

    YAY!!!!!! another story and this one is just - WoW!!!!!!

    HAPPY
    HAPPY
    JOY
    JOY

    :D :D :D :D :D
  20. red rose knight Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2001
    star 4
    Shaindl?It is far too difficult to say how powerful your writing is. So I'll leave it at that was an incredibly beautifully rendered scene. ?? [face_blush] Thank you.

    dianethx?I could almost hear the creak of the catwalk as the metal continues to strain beyond safety to its breaking point! ?? Oh, good! I was really worried about the catwalk. I was beginning to think it was a mistake putting the past duel up there.

    PadawanKitara?If only the film could be like that. I know- I'm only dreaming... ?? If only?although I am sure whatever GL conjures up will be all that and more.

    Sugar Bear?riveting and dazzling in execution ?? Thanks!

    Flashbacca?Master red - you finally posted it - and I almost missed it ?? Well it is about time you showed up, you silly rainbow colored Wookiee! ;) 8-}

    I saw Down With Love last night and you all need to run out and see it! It is absolutely one of the funniest movies I have seen in quite a while. :D And Ewan wasn?t bad either. ;)

    Expect another posty tonight, sometime after I get back from a short road trip?if I survive all of the togetherness. :)
  21. Flashbacca Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2002
    star 4
    *peers anxiously into the gloom-of-the-night hoping Master has survived the togetherness*

    :D :p

    Sorry was not here sooner, blame it on Darth Finals :(

    BUT have finally escaped their evil clutches and am prepared to follow Master everywhere :p [face_laugh]
  22. JadeSolo Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2002
    star 6
    Okay, first of all, this just makes me dislike (not hate, because that is of the Dark Side) Anakin even more. What a dope. Padme's such an intelligent woman--what was she thinking?

    Secondly, I saw Down With Love today, and all I can say is oh my. Actually, I can say a lot more, but there would be a lot of girly squeals of delight in between each word. After the movie, I immdediately bought the soundtrack and giggled like mad all the way home blasting Ewan's lovely voice in my car. [face_love] [face_love] [face_love]
  23. red rose knight Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2001
    star 4
    Flashbacca?*peers anxiously into the gloom-of-the-night hoping Master has survived the togetherness* ?? The day just went on and went on and by late last night when I crawled into the house, my brain was so fuddled I just went to bed. Sorry. ?? Sorry was not here sooner, blame it on Darth Finals ?? Well as long as you passed with flying colors. :)

    JadeSolo?Padme's such an intelligent woman--what was she thinking? ?? Ah, but love is blind. ?? Actually, I can say a lot more, but there would be a lot of girly squeals of delight in between each word. ?? Oh, I know what you mean! Everyone else was walking out of the theatres jazzed about the Matrix and my friend and I are all giggly and laughing about DWL and going on about the scenes while getting strange looks.

    Thanks, everyone! We are back to Naboo again?.
  24. red rose knight Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2001
    star 4
    Deep within the structure, lights continued to burn, albeit far dimmer than normal as the last of the power from the auxiliary systems drained. Soon a permanent darkness would fall, as there was no one left to maintain the equipment or effect repairs to all the damage that had been wrought upon it.

    Obi-Wan paused, casting his gaze along the bluish stone wall. Carbon scoring marred the surface where a battle had raged. Where Clonetroopers had stormed in and killed all who had resisted and many more who had not. The lingering memory of those deaths floated absently past the Jedi, his attention focused on the narrow corridor that lay ahead.

    At the edge of his mind?s eye the ghost of the now dormant capacitors engaged and the glowing laser walls sealed him from the circular room just ahead. His heart pounded with eagerness and desperation to pass into the waiting chamber.

    The sound of shifting debris shattered the illusion and drew the Jedi?s silent attention toward the shadows as he listened to the distant echo of falling stone. The walls all around him were veined with cracks that rose up from the foundations reaching toward the ceiling.

    It would all come down soon.

    But not today.

    Returning to the reverie, he folded his arms across his chest in a well-worn fashion before stepping into the once laser protected corridor.

    Midway through, Obi-Wan paused. As crisp as the day it had happened, he memories brought the click-clack-swoosh of the security system back to life. Everything was awash in red and the air vibrated with the menacing buzz. A few cells ahead, the Jedi conjured up the image of his master kneeling in quiet meditation as the tattooed Sith stalked before him impatiently awaiting the continuation of their battle.

    His pulse thundered in his ears as he too shifted, ready to break and race ahead the instant the lasers disengaged.

    Raising a battle scarred hand; he stared at it for a moment as if astounded by the existence of actual flesh and blood. Within the dream, he pressed callused fingers into the memory of the laser wall. The beams did not burn him for they no longer exited. Pulling his hand back in surprise, Obi-Wan stared into the round chamber that lay unguarded before him. The silent voice of the Force beckoned, tugging at his weary spirit and pulling the reluctant figure toward the room where everything changed.

    At the entrance, he turned back, his boots leaving prints on the dust-laden stonework. The gentle currents of the Force guided him forward.

    His heart ached as a heavy sigh left him but it did little to lift the invisible weight he bore. Yet, something moved in his mind, a soft voice whispering into his thoughts.

    All would be over soon, one way or another.

    Inside the generator room, Obi-Wan paced along the outer wall. His fingers grazed the cool surface, grounding him to this place. The fading lights fluctuated, intensifying before dimming once more as if threatening to abandon him to the complete darkness that loomed ever so close.

    Retreating from the safety of the wall, stone crushing under each footfall, Obi-Wan approached the edge of the melting pit. The abyss gazed back.

    Closing his eyes, he allowed the gentle crests and falls of the eternal currents of the Force to brush against his still form. Within the waves lingered the faint memories of the terror that had befallen the bucolic world.

    For all the agony of this world, it could not drown out the faintest remembrance of his master. Qui-Gon Jinn?s death, as much as his life, had left an indelible imprint on all that he had touched. His Force signature remained embedded among the structures of the chamber.

    Homing in on the mark, the ginger haired man offered up a small smile as he sank to his knees before the very place his master?s flame had been extinguished.

    Brushing wayward strands of hair from his face with a rough hand, he searched the gentle patterns in the pale gray powder that dulled the once glossy floor.

    ?I am here. What do you want of me now?? he
  25. naw ibo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 18, 1999
    star 5
    Good god, it's like being there RRK. It's like being able to feel the weight that threatens to crush him. The feeling of past and present colliding as well as light and dark. A broodingly fantastic post.

    And more happy note, I saw DWL yesterday too. What a wonderful film, I loved it and Ewan was great(as was Renee but I think was better :D ). Loved the song and dance over the credits(again, have to say I think Ewan topped it out, he's definitely got the stronger voice and he's got a certain natural grace to his movements that makes up for the fact that he's not a trained dancer).
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