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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Saga Broken - An Episode III Duel - Complete

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by red rose knight, May 15, 2003.

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  1. naw ibo

    naw ibo Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 1999
    Where is everyone?

    Watching DWL hopefully :D . That's why I missed posing about yesterday's installment of this brilliant, amazing piece of fiction here, so understandable enough. :D

    Anyway, new piccie of Ewan, looking a bit Obi-Wanish at the Cannes Film Festival where he's got two films he's involved in--Young Adam(which is getting some really good notices and I saw a couple clips, looks very dark and moody) and some motorbike documentary thing and you know how he likes his motorcycles! This pic is from that. :D

    [image=http://ff.fansites.com/FN-1470McGregorprev45.JPG]

    Ooopps, sorry for adding onto an old post but these are also from Cannes, at the Young Adam photocall--

    [image=http://images1.wireimage.com/images/thumbnail/1122195.jpg]
    With his co-star Emily Mortimer
    [image=http://images1.wireimage.com/images/thumbnail/1122145.jpg]

    There are a ton of those little thumbnails at wireimage.com.

    [image=http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-5/197571/svartkilt.jpg]
     
  2. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    You can just feel his weariness and pain. Geez, Qui, if you can yell to Anakin for a couple minutes in AOTC, come back and talk to your suffering Padawan. Methinks you owe it him at least a little!

    Lovely writing as always, RRK!

    Shaindl

    PS: Thanks, naw_ibo for posting that lovely picture! :D
     
  3. Kelly Kenobi

    Kelly Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 23, 2000
    So good to see you posting again Red!!!! Once again you have sucked me into your world so deeply I swear I am there.

    You are amazing girl and I hope we hear much more from you!!!!

    How about that Obi/Garen story you promised??? You know how I love those two boys!!!
     
  4. Sugar_Bear

    Sugar_Bear Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 14, 2001

    A beautifully written excellent post, RRK. Heartrending to observe Obi-Wan's anguish at his self-perceived failures and haunting loneliness.

    Yet, also inspiring to witness how the Jedi subsequently regrouped with quiet calm and dignity, ready to face his future fate.
     
  5. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    Lovely photos Naw. I was at DWL this afternoon, so I'm going to go back and read Red's post now.
     
  6. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    Mmmm...yessss....Down with Love was amazing....

    Geez, Ewan even makes the word 'Tang' sound lovely... [face_laugh]

    What wonderful posts, red! I agree with the others. Your words are so vivid it's like being there. I can only hope the movie version would be so beautiful and haunting (although I have to admit I doubt it! There are just some things that are lost if you film a story rather than writing it)

    You're truly a great writer, and every story is, in my opinion, a masterpiece. ;)

    Beautiful.
     
  7. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Beautifully done and with such angst in Obi-Wan's heart. I like where this is leading. Now, Obi-Wan has come full circle and is back where he lost his Master. Will he lose his apprentice in the same place?

    Looking forward to more.
     
  8. PaddyJuan

    PaddyJuan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 15, 2002
    such very vivid descriptions. so well done.
     
  9. ObiLegolas

    ObiLegolas Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 15, 2002
    Oh, wow! I just found this fic. I've only read the first post so far but this is an excellent fic! Very well done, RRK! I'm glad to have finally found it. Can't wait to find the time to read the rest of it!
     
  10. red rose knight

    red rose knight Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 3, 2001
    naw ibo?Good god, it's like being there ?? Thanks! [face_blush] Yeah, well I hope the real duel(s) live up to my expectations and I am trying to keep an open mind about it too. :) Ooooh, pretty pictures. [face_love] ::sits back and drools for a while::

    Shaindl?Geez, Qui, if you can yell to Anakin for a couple minutes in AOTC, come back and talk to your suffering Padawan. ?? He is probably off yelling at Anakin/Vader hoping to appeal to his calmer senses. ;)

    Kelly Kenobi?How about that Obi/Garen story you promised??? You know how I love those two boys!!! ?? Another month probably. This one sort of sidetracked me but I am back on the ?Wild Knights: Grasping an Ancient Fire? wagon. Don?t forget Siri, she has a big part in this too. Maybe after ?Broken? is finished I will throw some WK spoilers everyone?s way.

    Sugar Bear?Yet, also inspiring to witness how the Jedi subsequently regrouped with quiet calm and dignity, ready to face his future fate. ?? He will need it for the trial facing him.

    PadawanKitara? :)

    LuvEwan?Geez, Ewan even makes the word 'Tang' sound lovely... ?? :D ?? every story is, in my opinion, a masterpiece ?? I would hold off on any judgments until you reach the end.

    dianethx?Now, Obi-Wan has come full circle and is back where he lost his Master. Will he lose his apprentice in the same place? ?? You will find out soon enough. After today?s post there are only 4 more.

    Froggy?such very vivid descriptions. so well done. ?? Thanks!

    ObiLegolas?Oh, wow! I just found this fic. ?? Glad you did!

    Back to the past and the catwalk?
     
  11. red rose knight

    red rose knight Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 3, 2001
    Anamnesis:

    Every breath came in shallow bursts as Obi-Wan retreated from Anakin?s extended reach. ?You can stop this.?

    ?It is too late for that.? The younger paced the small area before an anchored workstation like a wounded Melorian tiger. The Borimai lights gave a cool sheen to his sweat dampened face. His intense gaze never left that of his former master as he moved across the deck toward the walkway the Jedi was so desperate to get too. With a cruel smile he shook his head in silent warning.

    Anakin rushed forward, his weapon held in a two-handed grip.

    The maintenance platform rattled with each landing, its size keeping the battle close-quartered as the combatants surged back and forth. The calmer Jedi easily deflected Anakin?s emotionally charged slashes, but Obi-Wan could do little to protect the catwalk as it suffered under the onslaught. He knew they would soon find themselves at the bottom of the Senate chamber if the battle did not quickly end.

    Gathering the Force, the Jedi channeled it as he reached out. Anakin, as if sensing his adversary?s intent, leapt out of the way of the invisible attack and somersaulted over Obi-Wan?s head. The Jedi spun about slamming the rail that Anakin meant to land on with a Force push. The support shook, jarring the blond haired man from his would-be landing and nearly toppled him over the edge onto the glass dome below.

    Before the youth could fall, Obi-Wan rushed forward, grasping the black material of his tunic and pulled him forward just enough to allow him to tumble safely onto the deck. With the sweep of his boot, he kicked the lightsaber hilt out of Anakin?s mechanical hand.

    The instant the danger was sensed, it was too late and Anakin sent the Jedi flying. The young man rose to his feet and with a sharp motion called the dormant hilt back to his protective grasp. ?More tricks and lies,? he said as the saber snap-hissed back to life.

    A long, deep exhale was the only answer the Jedi offered as he sadly shook his head. After all these years, did Anakin really know him so little?

    How could he have been so easily taken in by Palpatine?s dark machinations? The same way all the Jedi had, they believed what they did was in the service of the Republic. Palpatine had exploited Anakin?s weaknesses.

    Pushing the thought to the side, cerulean eyes focused on his wayward apprentice. While his heart refused to accept it, he knew that it might very well be too late to save Anakin. Still unwilling to give up, his thoughts raced over a thousand things he could say, all of which he knew would be firmly rejected. Then, in silent acceptance, he knew where he had to go to reach the young man. ?What about Padmé??

    The azure blade faltered.

    Taking advantage of the moment and wishing not to continue fighting his padawan?Anakin was still his responsibility?the Jedi rushed forward, hoping to make it to the walkway spanning between two maintenance platforms. If nothing else, he wanted to reach stable ground to finish the fight.

    Underfoot the platform wrenched hard tossing its occupants to the side. Obi-Wan desperately gripped the rail, turning back to see Anakin?s wickedly pleased expression and several severed suspension cables dangling next to him. A terrible moan filled the air as the deck twisted causing the catwalks attached to it to strain. Rivets cried out as they were pulled from their welding and the deck buckled.

    A menacing look grazed Anakin?s usually handsome features as he raised a trembling fist. ?You will not escape,? he said in an even tone. The Force writhed with the dark energies as it was brought to bear on the shuddering walkway. The platform shifted.

    ?Do not do this,? Obi-Wan softly said.

    ?He was right,? Anakin whispered.

    With the simplest flick of his wrist, the fallen Jedi ripped a damaged section of walkway free and sent it flying to the side.

    The chamber shook with the power of a great cataclysm the instant the twisted durasteel crashed into the Borimai glass. With the s
     
  12. JadeSolo

    JadeSolo Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2002
    oooooo, exciting!! Kick his @$$, Obi-Wan--I mean, uh...yeah.

    I was just wondering, exactly what color is "ginger"? Because after "observing" countless pictures of Ewan, I have decided that his hair is a sort of reddish-blonde, and the AOTC novel describes it as "wheat-colored", but the official character guide says just plain brown. Such a mystery :)

    mmmm, Tang! [face_love]
     
  13. Sugar_Bear

    Sugar_Bear Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 14, 2001

    A thrilling and heated face to face with way cool fight choreography, RRK.

    Exceptionally fine renderings of a desperate Obi-Wan, hoping beyond hope to redeem his padawan's tainted soul and of a ruthless Anakin, dangerously dark, with murderous intentions for his master on his mind.
     
  14. naw ibo

    naw ibo Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 1999
    RRK, I'm biting my nails reading that post--it was so tense. You write these duel scenes like nobody's business(and they say girls can't do action::pshaw:: ;) ). This is so tragic and Obi-Wan is so desperate.

    I'd say in Ewan/Obi's case ginger is sort of a reddish gold Ginger Ale color. It's not strong red but it isn't brown and it isn't quite blond.

    It's kind of like his eyes, they aren't quite green, but they aren't quite blue and they aren't quite grey--in one article this week the writer said "his eyes could best be described as grey", yet on E! news when the two female reporters were gushing over him and trying to explain to their male cohort just what it was they made Ewan so gorgeous they said "he's got these bright green eyes and they sparkle" and yet I've also seen them described as sparkling blue as well.

    I think that's why so many of us are so fond of him, even when you're looking right at him, he's still something of a mystery. ;)

    That beard is really getting there(and it's a good look at above mentioned hair color):

    [image=http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-5/197571/cannes8.jpg]

     
  15. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    It is hard to come up with new words to describe how wonderful this is. I can just picture the catwalk, the crash of the glass dome, the jumps and swirls of the lightsaber battle.

    Looking forward to more!
     
  16. naw ibo

    naw ibo Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 1999
    dianethx or how about the moaning of the metal as it suffered under their onslaught? I got the eeriest feeling reading that. This has such a sense of immediacy, which I think actually enhances the fact that it's a "flashback".
     
  17. PaddyJuan

    PaddyJuan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 15, 2002
    such a wonderful description of the action and the desperation/regret he is feeling.
     
  18. red rose knight

    red rose knight Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 3, 2001
    JadeSolo--I was just wondering, exactly what color is "ginger"...the AOTC novel describes it as "wheat-colored" ?? Naw's description is the best...as for wheat colored I suppose...maybe if you are describing "red" wheat and that is just because I have seen it all my life but ginger just sounds so much more interesting. [face_love]

    Sugar Bear--Exceptionally fine renderings of a desperate Obi-Wan, hoping beyond hope to redeem his padawan's tainted soul and of a ruthless Anakin, dangerously dark, with murderous intentions for his master on his mind. ?? :) I love how beautifully you sum up the posts...of course, this is nothing....

    naw ibo--You write these duel scenes like nobody's business ?? Thanks! We will see....the other duel is about to begin. I hope the two battles hold up. I spent a lot of time watching the duels in TPM, AOTC and ANH for reference. ?? Oh naw! What a beautiful picture. Sinatra and lightsabers dance in my head. Okay, so Sinatra has been dancing in my head since Friday night...it is now backed up by the hum of lightsabers.

    dianethx--It is hard to come up with new words to describe how wonderful this is ?? The old words work just as well. [face_mischief] Thank you for your kind words.

    naw ibo--I got the eeriest feeling reading that. ?? Really?

    froggy--such a wonderful description of the action and the desperation/regret he is feeling. ?? [face_blush] Thanks!
     
  19. ObiLegolas

    ObiLegolas Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 15, 2002
    intriguing! Great job as usual, RRK! Come on Obi, take the brat out! ;)

    Hope to see more soon.
     
  20. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    I have gone so many months without an RRK story that I forgot about the adrenalin rush that goes along with reading the post. Especially these action packed scenes.
     
  21. red rose knight

    red rose knight Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 3, 2001
    ObiLegolas?Hope to see more soon. ?? Lucky for you then, another posty up in a moment. :)

    PadawanKitara?I have gone so many months without an RRK story that I forgot about the adrenalin rush that goes along with reading the post. Especially these action packed scenes. ?? Has it been that long? Wow. Well, hopefully you won?t have to wait that long for the next.

    Thanks! I appreciate all your wonderful words. [face_blush]

    The next two posts are really short so I have doubled up today. The first is the ?present? and the second we go back?
     
  22. red rose knight

    red rose knight Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 3, 2001
    ?It is only fitting, my Master, that you return to the place where your treachery began,? the deep, mechanized voice resonated as the quiet chamber became awash in the steady, automated breathing of Darth Vader. The dark caped figure stalked across the floor. Moving without hesitation, he activated his crimson lightsaber, which cast an ominous glow in the muted lighting. Long strides never faltered until he reached the kneeling figure.

    Obi-Wan opened his eyes but remained motionless, his unprotected back exposed to the dark lord. Instead of shielding himself, he reached for the Force, seeking its calming energies.

    Spoken in that slow bass, Vader taunted, ?Does he speak to you, my Master, the way he had so often whispered to me??

    My master.

    Sighing heavily, Obi-Wan closed his eyes and bowed his head. Even the gentle ebb and flow of the ancient energy could not ease the anguish that rushed up through him at the cruelty inflicted upon those words. Struggle though he might, the Jedi knew the peace he needed would not be with him this day.

    ?He saw you for what you are, a failure.? Vehemence laced every word, especially the last driving it into the quiet older man. ?Your failing as a master is now complete.? The dark lord paused and turned as if listening to something only he could hear. The cape that draped his armored shoulders swung out like a great bird of prey swooping toward the Jedi before being swept back by a leather encased hand.

    Words, nothing more and they could not harm him, Obi-Wan swore. Not if he did not let them.

    Yet it was a war he fought everyday, more often than not losing as their pronunciations crept into his consciousness.

    ?You must have been a great disappointment to Qui-Gon Jinn to be so easily cast aside for a slave boy he had only just met.?

    With a fire more powerful than any lightsaber, grief pierced Obi-Wan?s heart but his expression remained serene.

    Vader turned to stare toward the melting pit, the lights reflected pitifully off the smooth black helmet that separated the mechanized man from his former self. ?Was it your failures as an apprentice or jealousy that cost Qui-Gon his life??

    No, it was not jealousy! Never jealousy.

    The cruel lines of the false face turned to focus on the silent Jedi.

    It was failure.

    The words bit hard and demanded the Jedi answer them out loud. With inborn grace, he rose to his feet and calmly turned to face the embodiment of the Dark Side.

    The culmination of his failings.

    Vader slashed at the air with his weapon bringing the fiery tip dangerously close to the still figure before him. ?Did you imagine me so blind, my Master?? his voice vibrated against the unyielding walls. ?You allowed him to be cut down. For all of your Jedi honor, your sins are no less than mine for you set all this in motion.? A sweep of a gloved hand motioned to the crumbling room and stirring the dust ever so slightly.

    Motioning back to his shattered form.

    The dark lord was not the only one bearing a mask, for Obi-Wan kept the turmoil raging inside carefully checked behind his own calm gaze. A deep exhale met Vader?s boldness the instant the dark lord closed the space between them.

    The menacing hum of the Sith?s lightsaber was nearly deafening. He held out his leather-encased hand for the Jedi to see. ?Just as easily as you cast Qui-Gon into his death, your jealousy tossed me to my doom.? He drew his hand into a tremulous fist. ?You let go.?

    Obi-Wan said nothing.

    ?You could have saved me, my Master.? The glowing red blade at Vader?s command was not the weapon of choice as he delivered another accusation, ?Out of jealousy you held me back when it was clear I was far superior to you and when that would no longer suffice, you sent me tumbling to my death.? With all the menace and power of the Dark Side, Vader boomed, ?I was destined to be the greatest of the Jedi!?

    ?In raw power only,? came the soft reply.

    The Force bubbled with Vader?s silent rage.

    Sadness clung to Obi-Wan?s pal
     
  23. naw ibo

    naw ibo Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 1999
    I really have to wonder how Lucas' version is going to hold up in a couple of years after reading this. There is so much pain evident in these posts, will he even allow us to get a glimpse of it, or will he be directing them to down play it as he usually does.

    [image=http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-5/197571/rex61.jpg]

     
  24. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    Agree with naw ibo. Your descriptions are beyond stunning, red.

    But I'm not sure if its possible for Ewan to down play when it comes to that scene. I can't imagine him not putting every shred of emotion into his performance...Hayden, on the other hand... [face_devil]

    So many great moments to comment on. Your description of the place falling slowly apart as Obi-Wan's life has, while Ani taunts him on all his 'failures'...shortcomings and wrongs that surely belong to the Padawan, not his young Master.

    Lovely, red. And yes, a masterpiece. I mean, come on. I still think your Path arc was a masterpiece..and we all know what happens to Obi at the end of THAT! ;)

    Looking forward to more.
     
  25. Sugar_Bear

    Sugar_Bear Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 14, 2001

    Awesome mental and physical duel underway, RRK. Brilliantly written with amazing visual style.

    Although Obi-Wan didn't give Anakin the satisfaction of flinching at the many vicious taunts hurled his way, it was painfully evident how underneath the Jedi's serene composure so many of the barbs hit home.

    Adored it when the master pricked his apprentice's ire by countering Ani's vile and cruel lies with the profound truth.

    P.S. Thanks so much, RRK for all your gracious comments.
     
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