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Broken Vows (Post AOTC) - A/P's Marriage is Discovered: The Consequences (Preview for next story!)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Scruffy-looking, Aug 26, 2002.

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  1. MissPadme

    MissPadme Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 9, 1998
    Amazing stuff, Scruffy. You really have these characters nailed.

    Oooh, that Sidious :-( .

  2. aotc02

    aotc02 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Oct 17, 2002
    Great post! The conversation between Mace and Windu was excellent. It gave some good insight into their characters.

    I hate Palpatine! He is so mean and manipulates everyone so they aren't happy!

    I can't wait for the last part but I don't want this to end!
  3. C3SoloP0

    C3SoloP0 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Dec 10, 2002
    I hate Sidious!!!!!!!!!!! He is a heartless manipulator!!!!!!!!

    This is such a sad turn of events although we know it has to happen.........

    Scruffy is an awesome writer *stands up and applauds* Wonderful!! (spoken in 3P0 fashion ESB)
  4. Scruffy-looking

    Scruffy-looking Jedi Youngling star 3

    May 26, 2002
    Time for responding to readers!

    After Chapter 23 - Part One

    Calen2kk - Thanks for the up!
    Altaira - Yes, Padme doesn't believe in vengeance. Of course, it's easier to forgive your enemy after they're dead! :eek:
    Arriss - Seems lots of people empathize! :eek:
    lori71 - The tide is definitely turning... :(
    Jedi-Roxy - Thanks! ;)
    PLJ - Gosh, I've truly become the new bearer of bummerdom! :_|
    DANA28 - An A/P fix is on the way...
    george starwars - Don't worry, Padme's not quitting yet...
    Breezy - :eek: "Oh no, what have I done?!?"
    aotc02 - This story will be over, but there are always others...

    After Chapter 23 - Part Two

    Altaira - Wise words indeed! :)
    george starwars - (sigh) If it were up to me, I'd do things differently, but remember -- this isn't my story! ;)
    MissPadme - Glad you've enjoyed it to date!
    aotc02 - Yes, I've tried to make the Jedi sympathetic, give them good reasons for why they do what they do. Of course, they're still wrong trying to break up A/P, but all I'm saying is, they have their reasons. :(
    Satoshi - Thanks!
    FTeik - Wow, interesting thought! Maybe not quite in this story, but definitely beyond!
    Arriss - And thank you for your patronage, Master Jedi! ;)
    Darth Lex - Thanks for the insightful comments! :)
    REBADAMS7 - Wow, thank you so much!
    george starwars - "I know..." :(
    ForbiddenLove - Why thanks! As for the last line of your sig: :_|
    JediSenoj451 - Glad you've liked it! Stay tuned...
    Allyjw007 - Thanks; I thought it would be a neat twist to make Arriss related to Dooku (it's also hinted in Chap 14-2). 'Mush'? Did someone say 'mush'? We shall see...
    Master Jador - You can always download it and print it out for your reading leisure! ;) And definitely stay tuned...
    lori71 - Glad you've enjoyed it -- that's why we write and read fanfics, to be entertained! :)

    Does anyone else have anything to add before the final post?

    "Speak now or forever hold your peace..."


  5. PadmeLeiaJaina

    PadmeLeiaJaina Jedi Grand Master star 6

    May 23, 2002
    Oh man! Poor Ani and Padme- they're so happy and in love and the whole Galaxy is against them. Although the Jedi bent to their wills, they now distrust the duo- AND their own decision to do so... look what it did- it opened the doors for more discontent amongst its ranks.

    (BTW if above didn't make much sense- don't sue me- I'm freezing in NE and I think my brain's half Frozen!) :eek:

    And Sideous looms to destroy all that is good and pure. *Sigh* :(


    (Reminds self- there would be no OT if Anakin did not fall.)

    Oh bother. :(

    Good job Scruff! Hope the last part of the Epliogue we get to see the newlyweds... before darkness falls completely.
  6. Satoshi

    Satoshi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Sep 2, 2002
    This story is an absolutely perfect setup for Episode III. Awesome job, Fred!
  7. Allyjw007

    Allyjw007 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Aug 6, 2002
    :mad: :mad: Bad Palpy!! :mad: :mad:

    I like your portrayal of him, though. I think he seems slightly less evil than the guy we met in episode VI (although VERY slightly), which is good characterization, cuz I think a few decades of a dictatorship would boost Palpy's ego even more than it already is. GREAT thoughts about Anakin, though.

    Hmmm . . . other Jedi are getting in on it too, huh? I hope things work out for Enrik and Miri.

    :_| This story's almost over! You're gonna let us know when you have other stories up, right? ;)
  8. Scruffy-looking

    Scruffy-looking Jedi Youngling star 3

    May 26, 2002
    Hi everyone, as Broken Vows comes to a close, I want to once again thank everyone for their patronage! I know there are many, many fanfics out there, and the fact that you have taken time from your busy lives to read this story is most gratifying! :)

    I have an announcement for the final post: it will be posted on Sunday, January 26th at 12AM PST. I can give a precise date this time because unlike in the past, I have actually completed the chapter before hand! :eek: In case you're curious, the first post of this story was on August 26th, precisely five months ago! :p So if anyone wishes to leave feedback on any chapter besides the last one, now's your chance! ;)

    Once again, many thanks and have a great weekend!


  9. Altaira

    Altaira Jedi Padawan star 4

    Nov 11, 2002
    Super Bowl and Scruffy! What a good day! [face_laugh]
  10. george_starwars

    george_starwars Jedi Master star 4

    Oct 23, 2002
    Palpy! :mad: Hate the man. Let me just tell you palpatine, that you will get whats coming to you. Even if it IS twinty years from now, its coming... [face_plain]
  11. Scruffy-looking

    Scruffy-looking Jedi Youngling star 3

    May 26, 2002
    Some last words of thanks!

    Satoshi - The wait is over!
    C3SoloP0 - Hello and welcome! I'm always glad to learn that someone is enjoying the story.
    Drusillac - Thanks; I'll miss it too! :_|
    george starwars - Thanks for the endorsement! ;)
    Breezy - Thanks! ;)
    lori71 - Indeed -- sorry for the downer of the chapter
    ForbiddenLove - Thanks for all your comments
    Altaira - Yes, a cold and wicked wind comes... :_|
    Darth Lex - Thank you; if I didn't say this before, the Jedi Order is the big loser in this story, remember Ani and Padme won! This last chapter tries to show how difficult it can be to change one's beliefs, even if it's necessary.
    Arriss - Hey that rhymes! :p Actually, I don't think Yoda rejects the idea, but he is skeptical -- I don't think the Jedi thought their Chosen One would get married! :eek: Let's just say that after thinking about it for 20 years, his views might have mellowed...
    REBADAMS7 - Thanks; 'Bien fait' ?[face_plain] Need to help me with that one! :p
    rhonderoo - Sigh, I wish it were so...
    MissPadme - Many thanks - yeah, Sidious is 'hideous', as it's been said! :p
    aotc2 - I know, he's the man everyone hates
    C3SoloP0 - Aww, thanks a lot! [face_blush]
    PLJ - Thanks, and I think you'll get what you want! ;)
    Satoshi - Thanks, I tried my best! :)
    Allyjw007 - 'Bad Palpy' indeed :( Interesting, I tried to make him arrogant, but I can see how he was more careful than in ROTJ. Enrik and Miri may yet appear again, we shall see...
    Altaira - Yes indeed, enjoy!
    george starwars - Hee hee, indeed!

    And now, the moment you've all been waiting for... the conclusion to Broken Vows. :eek: Enjoy!

  12. Scruffy-looking

    Scruffy-looking Jedi Youngling star 3

    May 26, 2002
    Epilogue ? Part Two

    A gentle breeze passed through the secluded garden, rustling the leaves of the trees nearby and causing hair and loose clothing to flutter and billow. Underneath the light of the afternoon sun, the people assembled for the day?s ceremony watched in spellbound silence as the ceremony came to its climax.

    The village holy man looked left to the young man, blond and blue-eyed, curly of hair and striking in stature, dressed in dark flowing robes. He then looked to his right, to the young woman, garbed in a splendid white wedding gown, her long brown hair spilling out from beneath her bridal shawl. Looking only into one another?s eyes, the young couple held hands, trembling imperceptibly.

    The holy man spoke. ?Do you wish to be the wife of this man?

    ?I do,? Padmé said.

    ?And do you wish to be the husband of this woman??

    ?I wish it,? Anakin replied.

    ?To the family and friends gathered here today, do you give your blessings to this couple??

    ?We do,? Padmé?s family said solemnly.

    He smiled and looked at the couple. ?And what vow do you make to each other today??

    They said in unison, ?That now and forever, we are both one.?

    Tears flowed freely down the cheeks of Jobal and Sola as they gripped the hands of their husbands.

    ?One in joy,? Padmé said softly.

    ?One in grief,? Anakin replied.

    ??One in health??

    ??One in sickness??

    ??One in riches?.?

    ??One in poverty??

    ??One in life??

    ??One, until death.?

    The holy man raised his hands above their heads and said loudly, ?Then let all that is holy and good, from the earth below to the heavens above, proclaim that Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Naberrie are husband and wife.?

    And as they did before, Anakin and Padmé came together and met in a tender kiss.

    An explosive cry of joy broke out as the intimate gathering stood and applauded. Even Ruwee could not hold back his fiery tears of joy. Heedless of their mother?s restraint, Ryoo and Pooja broke free and ran towards Padmé and Anakin, laughing and shouting while flinging their stash of violet pedals with uncontrolled glee.

    Gently Padmé broke free from Anakin?s embrace and scooped Ryoo off the ground to twirl her about in the air. With a broad grin, Anakin did the same for Pooja. Their wild energy now spent, they waddled back to their mother and father, still smiling and giggling. Small recorder droids floated about unobtrusively, recording the events for future posterity, as the re-wedded couple came to greet their small but enthusiastic crowd of well-wishers.

    The ceremony concluded, the newly-extended Naberrie family retired to the house for the reception set up in the main gathering room.

    Inside, Jobal said to Anakin, ?Welcome to the family!? She then wrapped him in a giant hug and kissed him on the cheek.

    Blushing, he said, ?Thank you; I?m honored, Mrs. Naberrie.?

    With a mischievous smile, she replied, ?Anakin! If Darred can call me ?mom?, so can you. I insist!?

    He tried to keep his grin from slipping. If only I could? ?Of course,? he replied charmingly.

    Jobal gave him a pat on the cheek and then went to embrace her once-again newlywed daughter yet again. Sola came up and embraced him as well.

    ?I?m so happy for you and Padmé,? she whispered into his ear. ?I had a feeling about you two, you know. Like it was meant to be.?

    Anakin hugged her in return. ?I couldn?t agree more.?

    He felt a tug on his robe; Ryoo and Pooja had came up to them. ?Uncle Ani! Uncle Ani!? they cried in unison.

    Laughing inside and out, he bent down to meet them at eye level. ?And what can I do for you?? he said happily.

    They were insistent. ?Do the shuura trick! Do the shuura trick!?

    He glanced back up at Sola, who merely smiled back. ?Okay, but promise not to tell Uncle Obi, okay?? he said with a mischievous grin.


    Anakin stretched out his hand and levitated one of the shuura fruits from the bowls on each table. The fruit wobbled towards them, then dove and circled about Ryoo and Pooja?s heads. Screaming with delight,
  13. Scruffy-looking

    Scruffy-looking Jedi Youngling star 3

    May 26, 2002

    The first people I want to acknowledge are all the people who have contributed their time to read and comment on this story. I hope you've enjoyed the ride! :) I also want to make special note of DarthBreezy, jedi-ES and PadmeLeiaJaina, three people who have helped beta chapters. Be sure to stop by and read their ongoing fanfics! :D

    What's next, you ask? Two things: my next fanfic project will be the much-anticipated fleshing out of my Ep 3 script. This was the first fanfic I ever wrote, literally days after AOTC came out in the theaters! :eek: After that will be the conclusion to my Padme 'Tetrology' of stories, a fanfic about Luke and Leia learning about the identity and fate of their real mother. I should note that for people who are very interested in that story, that it may be better if you do not read my Ep 3 story in progress -- because the Luke/Leia story will make reference to the events of the Ep 3 one. If you don't want to 'spoil the surprise' as they say, you might be better off waiting. Also, the Ep 3 story will be really dark and scary, a big departure from what I've done to date. But of course, it's your choice! And, I even have ideas beyond that! :eek: I have an outline for a post-Ep 3 story starring Arriss Senoj, but due to time constraints it will have to wait until summer. Sorry!

    With the story complete I would love to hear everyone's thoughts about it, what they liked or did not like, things worthy of note. There might be some more things to come in Broken Vows, we shall see! ;)

    Thanks again all, and may the Force be with you!


  14. Altaira

    Altaira Jedi Padawan star 4

    Nov 11, 2002
    I was here right at 3 am, I?m a little slow, I set 2 alarm clocks!

    I think we?re to the point of beyond commits, but

    I do understand how Anakin feels. I have met another persons relatives under uncomfortable circumstances even though they welcomed me and I had been around them. He did better than I. And, I moved six times in a five year period so I can understand when it doesn?t feel just like home. It just takes until you hang your pictures.

    Padmé and Anakin is, for now (there?s that nasty, I know the movies), going to do just fine.

    I didn?t suspect Anakin was taking Padmé to renew their vows.

    So, I?ll just get to my thanks (I wrote this part yesterday, knowing it was going to be early). This part is sincere and when I was alert.

    The fates have been smiling on me. Through a chain of improbable events, I found your stories (time, motivation, access and interest). With that first link to the JC given to me, provided by you, I stepped into a new and larger SW universe.

    I have enjoyed spending this time reading along with everyone. The disappointment that the story has ended has changed to happiness at having been able to read your wonderful story.

    As with any good book, you can?t wait to get to the end. When you get there, it can be a little depressing. ?It?s over??, you think with a sigh, as you hesitantly and gently put the book down.

    Thank you for all your work. I have enjoyed all your stories. Now that I?m hooked, I will keep an eye out for more in the future.

    May the Force be with You, too
  15. aotc02

    aotc02 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Oct 17, 2002
    Wow! What an amazing end to a wonderful fic. I'm utterly speechless.

    I didn't suspect that Anakin was taking her to renew their vows, but it made the ending even better. The ceremony was great and Padmé's family was so happy and loving. I loved it how Anakin felt that he was home with them.

    When Ani and Padmé moved into their new house, they were so happy. I only wish that it would last longer than it did.

    I can't wait to read whatever you write next. You are truly talented and a great writer.
  16. Darth_Lex

    Darth_Lex Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 17, 2002
    Oh, man, you're so unfair. I actually had to regain my composure before I sat back down to respond. :D

    Like the rest of them, this post was amazing. All the wonderful moments of starting a new life with someone you love. :_| (joy, not sorrow)

    Anakin the hopeless romantic. Hee hee! ;)

    At this point, I'm almost ready to discard the OT and let them live happily ever after. On the other hand, I always have loved Darth Vader... [face_devil] [face_laugh]

    Fantastic work. I'll be eagerly awaiting your take on Episode III (which I have not yet read at your website -- and I think I'm now inclined not to; the anticipation of watching it develop as you post will be far better than being "spoiled").

  17. DarthBreezy

    DarthBreezy Force Ghost star 6

    Jun 4, 2002
    Well Fred, we've finally come to the end...
    To quote the 'Late great', What a long, strange trip it's been...

    You have gained stregnth as a writer in each succsessive chapter, and althought "Love of a Jedi" is near and dear to your heart, I think a 'reworking' would benefit greatly from your newfound skills... it could only make a great story stronger. Original characters with dimentionality, and a richness and depth to the cannon characters helped make this a very enjoyable read...

    Words that might have made all the differance to Anakin had they been spoken by Obi-wan...

    Well Done....

    With Love,


    PS, Thank you for the "Kudos!" That was very kind and unexpected... As always, (well, MOST Always... provided that I don't get into a fight with my ISP again!) my AIM is at your disposal... looking forward to teaseing and testing plot points with you again!

    [face_love] [face_love] [face_love]
  18. Mr_Boba_Jango

    Mr_Boba_Jango Jedi Master star 3

    May 20, 2002


    What can I say except BRILLIANT! :)

    Your choice to end the story with the renewal of their vows put a smile on my face. And your depiction of Padme?s family and their acceptance of Anakin as one of their own, was right on the mark.

    Off to the side, Anakin sighed, a feeling of total contentment and peace washing over him. Watching his wife and father-in-law dancing, a thought that he swore he would never think again filled his mind:

    I?m home.

    Two words that summed it all up! I couldn?t have said it better!

    I?m glad that you decided to end BV on a happy note. While you have pointed out that Palpy has horrible plans for Ani, and we know he will eventually turn, I felt as contented as the two lovers on the hill at this wonderful ending to your story.

    Its been a pleasure to read your work over the past ½ year. You have become a truly talented and sophisticated writer and a master at political intrigue. You?ll remember that it?s stories like ?The Love of a Jedi? that got me interested in becoming a regular reader of fanfics in the first place. In fact, I think you were the very first person on these boards that I had the pleasure to get to know. Bottom line Fred is that your stories have been a real treat and escape from my DRL drudgeries. And in my opinion, BV has been your crowning jewel.

    For me it really wasn?t until AOTC that I realized that the entire saga (including the OT) was really about Anakin Skywalker. Sure, I knew that the PT would be about the story of Darth Vader and how he became ?evil?, but I never thought that it would cause me to see him in a completely different light. I certainly never thought that I would end up caring more about any Star Wars character as much as I do Anakin Skywalker. And although I give GL a lot of the credit for making this happen, its really writers like you, and Eric, and Paulie, and Lisa who have breathed life into Anakin?s character for me. You?ve added a new and wonderful dimension to him that wasn?t present in the movies.

    Once again, TERRIFIC JOB FRED!

    And thanks again for your hard work. :D


  19. Master_Jador

    Master_Jador Jedi Youngling star 2

    Aug 31, 2002
    That was a wonderful conclusion to a fantastic story, Scruffy! Your characterization was perfect, and your plot worked beautifully. Let's just say I'll be watching carefully to see what you do in the future!
  20. MissPadme

    MissPadme Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 9, 1998
    I'll say what I said to Master Windu months ago about her "Hour of Separation": I've read and written SW fan fic for 11 years and this is one of the absolute best I've come across. It's rare to find fan fic where not only can the author put the characters through a well-thought-out plot, but the author can also show much s/he loves the characters and the universe they inhabit.

    The last post was wonderfully romantic and sweet. Anakin and Padme have found joy in their lives but we all know that joy will be short-lived. Having them renew their vows with the Naberries was a great idea.

    Can't wait to read more of your stuff and keep up the excellent work.

  21. C3SoloP0

    C3SoloP0 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Dec 10, 2002
    *sniff sniff*

    I can't believe its was a wonderful written story and ever since i started reading it I got hooked....I only regret that i didn't find out about this web site earlier for I'm sure i would have started reading it way before....

    I will surely be looking out for more of Scruffy's writing...

    May the Force be with all of you....
  22. Satoshi

    Satoshi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Sep 2, 2002
    This is probably the best fic I've ever read. Amazing work, Scruffy :)
  23. PadmeLeiaJaina

    PadmeLeiaJaina Jedi Grand Master star 6

    May 23, 2002
    Bravo, Bravo! Wonderful ending to a wonderful story. Again you manage to pack in the ending epilogue with rich, delightful details that brought the entire scene to life.

    *Sigh* What a wonderful way for Anakin to show how deeply he loves and respects Padme, by having them openly renew their vows in front of everyone.

    A masterful story, Fred. Worthy of mention in the Jedi archives... :p I can't wait for your Luke and Leia fic. Be proud of yourself, this story was rich and a delight to read!
  24. george_starwars

    george_starwars Jedi Master star 4

    Oct 23, 2002
    *sniff* *Hic!* *sniff* And so it ends...beautifully.

    Thank you. Thank you for taking us on this jurney beyond AOTC. I am looking foward to your tour into Episode 3. Wonderful ending for a wonderful story.

    Live long and prosper, er I mean, The Force will be with you...always.

  25. anakin-player

    anakin-player Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jun 22, 2002
    Great conclusion to a wonderful fic! Now, I'm sad to see the end because I'm always greedy for more. :D

    I'm also still trying to recover from the Raiders Super Bowl lost. :(

    How can anybody not the like a team who plays the Imperial March before the team introduction?
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