Build an English Theme Park

Today I was looking down on Thorpe Park and Lego Land via Google Earth, and it occurred to me how little imagination we have when it comes to building and developing such venues. Neither these nor any other theme parks in England come anywhere near places like Disneyland/World or Universal Studios, and that?s despite us having some of the most colourful historical heritage and mythology in the world! I mean, even Lord of the Rings had to be adapted into a movie by the Kiwis rather than us! No wonder the government has to tax us so much! If they had any imagination whatsoever then they?d make a fortune out of an English themed park on a par with Disney! So, if you were a politician (one who?s not busy filling their own pockets), how would you go about building an English theme park to compete with Disney and Universal? Also, where would you put it, especially considering our unpredictable weather?

Me, the place I?d go for would be that massive, up until now, big white zit, the Millennium Dome. Inside I?d have Disney type rides representing all famous English historical events, mythology and literature, from LOTR, King Arthur and The Time Machine, to The Battle of Britain, The Battle of Hastings and the Spanish Armada.

So, what about you lot? Is there anything you?d either add or change? And if not the Dome where would you put the park?

 

First of all, Lord of the Rings was adapted by Americans, it just happened to be filmed in New Zealand with a New Zealand Director

Second, Alton Towers is a large, extremely renound and popular theme park with some of Europe's best rides.

Third, Disney is arguably the most wealthy and powerful hollywood studio, at it's peak it probbably could've financed 30 Alton Towers parks, that sort of money can't be matched by the British in any way that would have a point or be practical. The government had better things to spend money on then theme parks, and a company like Merlin does not have the financial power to beat Disney.

I agree we do tend to be a little poor with regards to building large scale projects. Whose crazy idea was it to spend hundreds of millions of punds on some pointless 50,000 seat Olympic Stadium which we are struggling to find post-games owners for when we already have a 90,000 seat stadium in Wembley which could easily be outfitted with a track around the pitch?

 

An English Theme Park? In this country? What for? Better to encapsulate all there is to being English into a small museum somewhere so that the future "inhabitants" of this land can look back at our quaint way of life.

 

Are we talking English English or British English?

I've lived in this country for a long time now, though not being English, or even British, and have travelled the length and breadth of it. My favourite part is Scotland and I think that area can add a great amount of ideas for a theme park. Ideally, I would incorporate all four "countries" in a theme park, if you guys don't mind but because England itself is such a diverse place I think the best thing would be to create a park that would correspond to the landscape.

So for the South East I would place children's rides because of the downs and in London a merry-go-round for Mary Poppins, even though written by an American, she's quintessentially very English and I'm a fan. Erm, whatever.

For Devon I would go for pirate rides, maybe some waterslides. Then going up North I'd place some forest-themed something with Robin Hood style shooting stands like in a fun fair.

I've not been to Wales yet, so I'll pass that one for now. I have yet to go to East Anglia but after watching some documentaries I'd say they could do something beachy themed. Maybe pool stands to catch seals and such.

Then for Scotland I'd put some high and mighty rides for their mountains definitely Norse-style.

Ireland deserves something to do with pixies so I'll put the food and drink stands there.

And now for the truth: I don't like adventure parks. But I think there's such amazing heritage on these isles and they are being preserved for the future. It's just I don't see many natives educating themselves on them.

 

This is probably my favourite thread of all time .

 

American money, Kiwi company.

The government have enough money when they want it, like in Middle East wars (BILLIONS of ££££) and for their own pockets, not to mention that aforementioned white elephant of a dome in the centre of London, so why not spend all that money on something that will be profitable for once?

I mean "English English". "British English" is the same thing...for now.

Lesson for today: England (English) + Scotland (Scottish) + Wales (Welsh) + Northern Ireland (Northern Irish) = Britain (British)

You have the right idea though, the park would have EVERYTHING in it that's to do with England, even things we'd have to get the Copyright for like Mary Poppins. But there'd be just one park, not loads of parks all over the country.

 

Lesson for Today: Northern Ireland is neither British, nor part of Britain. Britain is England, Wales, and Scotland.

The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland (or UK for short) includes Northern Ireland, but Great Britain doesn't

 

Blah, nit picking. The Northern Irish consider themselves British, I've heard them say so on the news.

 

I could consider myself French. But that doesn't make it so.

 

Definitely something water themed, submerged cities, flooded plains, etc, etc. Wait a minute...

 

English theme park should definitely have an English themed food court.



So Chicken Tikka Masallas all round then.

 

Whatever. When you guys can sort out your national and local identities I'll worry about it too. When the north of England wants a separate country, like the Cornish do, I see no point in nitpicking about what is Britain and what is UK. Technically, I know you're right, of course. Knew it before I first stepped on these shores.

Sorry, I got over-excited. I meant that there would be one humongous place for all of this stuff but laid out in the shape and relation of the isles. And we'll get that copyright sorted out, I'm sure.

 

New Line Cinema the studio that made the films is not a New Zealand company, WETA might be but they do visual effects only.

 

I think you'll find New Line's contribution to LOTR was only marginally more than 20th Century Fox's contribution to the PT. The PT had 20th Century Fox's logo at the beginning even though it had practically nothing to do with production of the movies. As far as I can tell from what I've seen New Line both funded and had final say over the films, but WETA did the full production.


The confusion about NI's place in the world and the question over who made LOTR aside, I'm quite interested in history and I believe there's something else that could make a good attraction/ride in a possible park. I'm thinking about London Bridge. Yeah, the Bridge has had quite a colourful history in its many guises. You all know the song "London Bridge is Falling Down", right? Well, the song comes from the fact that there's been so many of them, all of which have either burnt down, blown down, fallen down or simply been replaced since Roman times. Not only that but it's been the centre of several battles throughout history! There must be a ride or something in there somewhere.

 

What about an ice rink in reference to the times when it was frozen over?

Edit: I mean when the Thames was frozen over...

 

I prefer the London Bridge that was taken down brick by brick and shipped to the States

 

You mean the one the American buyers got confused with Tower Bridge?

 

What about the ghosts they left behind in the process?

 

I don't understand your smiley. London Bridge being shipped to the states is a fact. Whether or not the buyer thought he was actually buying Tower Bridge is an urban legend.

 

Ghosts. Now what about a ride based on The Tower of London. That grizzly place would make one hell of a historical ghost ride!

 

Yeah, that's what the American buyers said, that they bought a plain road bridge and shipped it all the way to the US on purpose. Now that Gothic monster would've been worth it, but that road bridge?

 

Again I don't understand. That's the bridge they wanted, and that's the bridge they bought. All of the parties have said so. There's no truth in the rumour they thought it was Tower Bridge.

 

If so, if they knew they were spending all that money on a plain road bridge, where do you think the "rumour" came from? Where do you think it was thought up and why?

 

Not a bad idea! A ghost castle within the confines of The Tower. The problem is we're getting a bit London-oriented and I heard way too many people on these isles whinging and whining about being controlled from somewhere so far away. Well, whatever. Let's do the Tower Ghost Castle too... No dam for great ideas today!

 

Same as all the other urban legends and rumours. In this case, someone such as yourself thought "Nah, they didn't want that bridge, they must have thought it was another bridge", and started spreading it around, each time with more additions leading up to the "They thought it was Tower Bridge, but were mistaken" rumour which must be true as Americans are stupid.

It's not true, there's no evidence to support it, all parties (buyer and seller) have denied it. It's a silly story, no more no less.

Of course, you may be one of the people who think that man didn't really land on the moon, or that George W Bush arranged the 9/11 attacks. If that's the case, then you just carry on