Beyond - Legends Bulls eyed Bulls eye-er (GWG Macho Challenge Response)

Title: Bulls eyed Bulls eye-er (GWG Macho Challenge Response)
Author(s): JM
Timeframe: Sometime in the early EU
Characters: ?Reek? Slahey (OC)
Genre: Vignette
Summary: He is hunting his target and he knows there will be no escape (macho hurh!).
Notes: When looking at the stories I had ideas for I realised that I had a few in the same genre and decided to break these up with a few shorter vignettes on different subjects. Thinking further about one of these vignette ideas when the Macho Challenge was decided in the Gentleman?s Writing Guild thread I realised that it would actually work better as a response than it would they way I had been thinking of doing it before.

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?Reek? Slahey stalked around the craft, impatient for the mechanic to finish his interminable checks so that he could go hunting for his target. The twin suns of Tatooine played across his broad shoulders as he folded his mighty arms and glared down at the much smaller man, his vest doing nothing to conceal his imposing physique. With contempt Reek noticed the gleam of sunscreen on the mechanic?s nose and sneered at this further proof of that pitiful specimen?s weakness.

If you couldn?t handle a little sun then you shouldn?t live on Tatooine. If you were so scared of pain you were frightened of a little sunburn then you were a weakling. If you planned to live long enough to possibly develop skin cancer rather than going out in a blaze of blood and glory then you were a coward who should crawl back into your mother?s womb where it was safe.

The mechanic stepped back, recognising Reek?s impatience, and Reek swerved slightly to give the mechanic the merest suggestion of a nudge with one twitch of a shoulder. The mechanic went sprawling on the sand, landing nicely in a patch made soggy by lubricants, and looked up at Reek impotently as he squeezed his massive frame, and even more massive ego, into the cockpit. Reek fixed the mechanic?s eyes with his own, silently promising a terrible retribution if the craft did not perform perfectly, and then engaged full power.

Swirling dust from this hot takeoff engulfed the landing area and the surrounding streets, if the craft had tyres they would be squealing just as much as Reek was sure that the mechanic would be. Of course no mechanic would be stupid enough to let Reek hear these complaints and if he was then Reek would enjoy teaching him to know his place. The thrusters of the craft blazed as Reek sent it hurtling at full speed so close to the ground that a great plume of dust was left in its wake, a lesser man would be scared for his life but Reek was just exhilarated.

The suns of Tatooine had left him mildly thirsty and, although he had the stamina and willpower to keep fighting where others would have died of dehydration, Reek decided to steer the craft with his knees so he could take a long pull from his hipflask. The concoction tingled slightly as it burned down Reek?s throat and he smiled as he imagined how someone as weak as the mechanic, or most men, would choke on the merest sip of this while Reek merely found it pleasantly potent.

Rocks and dunes sped by on either side of him at hundreds of kilometres an hour as Reek took another swig from his hipflask and his mind slowly turned over to decide what it was that was missing. He had strong drink, he had danger, so what else did he need? Reek grinned as he realised and punched one meaty fist into the console. The composites cracked under the force of his blow like the bones of his adversaries did and Reek ripped out some power leads. Who needed all those fancy computer aids when you had testosterone?

With surprising delicacy Reeks strong fingers wired his personal music player into the crafts power systems to give it the oomph he wanted and then he started his favourite tune going. To be accurate it was his favourite bit of his favourite tune, and it had taken some persuasion to get the slicer geek to cut the recording down. However when Reek had squeezed one of the slicer?s hands, grinding the bones together with the sheer

 

Very masculine. Loved the character--very funny. Great job with the challenge. *pats ya on the back*

 

_JM_:

Good job!

- The Imperial Ewok

 

That guy deserved what he had coming to him. What a meathead.

Good job.

 

VadersMistress: Thank you. I?d say ?Macho? rather than ?Masculine? (one example of the difference would be Jimmy -actor and decorated B-17 pilot- Stewart), but I know what you mean.

ThrawnMcEwok: Glad you enjoyed it.

Jedi_BMK: That guy deserved what he had coming to him. ...ah, but if he had survived then he?d have had a pale image of his muscle vest outlined in sunburn which might have hurt even more (since at least the blaster bolt would have put him in shock and made him go numb).

 

ROTFLMAO! I loved this guy he was great.

"Its only a flesh wound...It doesn't hurt." That is deffinatly what a macho man would say in death.

Great Job _JM_

 

...before shrugging and going to get one of the supply of body-bags they kept for this sort of thing. Yet another boring normal day on Tatooine.

So that takes Tatooine right off my vacation list.

Good work! Reek certainly was one tough mutha, with balls the size of...

 

CodyMonKenobi: Appearances must be maintained, screaming and crying for your momma don?t cut no ice with the Gods of Macho.

CommanderConrad: If you remember that you need nice thick armoured transparisteel to be Tusken-sniper proof and if you avoid bullseyeing Womp Rats and avoid the militant Womp Rat defenders you should be okay. Remember the sunscreen and the desert clothing though.

 

Just when I thought I knew where this was going, you took it in quite a different direction. Never actually thought about somebody defending the womp rats. Wonder who our mechanic friend thought was responsible.

Great job!


Force be with you,

Tych_sel

 

Congratulations, _JM_ for winning third place in the Gentlemen's Writing Guild, Macho Man Challenge for January. Here is your prize!

[image=http://royalguard2.alpinegarrison.com/marc/red-ribbon-small.gif]

Keep up the excellent work!

 

Tych_sel: Mechanic probably thought it was a Tusken who had managed to obtain a heavy blaster rifle from somewhere, though I think if a Tusken did then the others would laugh at him for not having enough faith in his aim (and ability to hit a vital point) to be satisfied with one of their normal rifles.

SkalenFehl: Thank you and thank you for the rosette.