Saga Burden of Grief (Siri/Obi-Wan) - Vignette - 9/17/07 Replies added 2/7/8

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by bek, Sep 16, 2007.

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  1. bek Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2005
    star 4
    Title: Burden of Grief

    Author: bek

    Genre: Drama

    Characters: Siri (23) - Narrator, Obi-Wan (25) ? (Qui-Gon, Bant, Garen, Anakin ? mention)

    Summary: Siri comes across Obi-Wan at his worst moment and longs to help him.

    Disclaimer: The characters (Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Bant, Garen, Anakin, etc?) belong to Lucas or Watson. I make no profit from this. It is just a hobby.

    Author Note: This fic was inspired when I heard the song Cry by Mandy Moore. It didn't turn out exactly as I had envisioned it, but I am otherwise satisfied with it.

    I hope you enjoy! :)



    Burden of Grief

    We could hardly believe the news: Master Qui-Gon Jinn had perished. We knew something was wrong when the Council ? as a whole ? took leave to travel to Naboo, but we never imagined something like this. A strong, towering, revered, powerful, and noble Jedi Master was now one with the force. It wasn't until the assembly announcing his death that we understood the ramifications it would have on us personally. The thing is this, not only will we dearly miss the maverick master that often gave us his time and advice, but his padawan is our best friend.

    I heard through the rumor mill that the shuttle would arrive today. The Council is returning with Obi-Wan and a child by the name of Anakin Skywalker. I remember when my own master returned to our quarters the evening of that meeting. To say she was upset with Master Jinn's behavior is an understatement; she was livid. It was rare for my mentor to allow her anger to fester, she had always been quick to release her frustrations to the force. Master Adi wasn't allowed to discuss council matters with me due to the confidentiality of all matters discussed within chambers, but that evening she allowed herself some relief in blurting out every name she could think of to call Master Jinn: uncaring, stubborn, blind to his own padawan's feelings, and more I can't really mention. When her tirade finally died down and she had calmed, I felt the need to seek out an old friend.

    I found him out on the veranda near the refectory. He was leaning against the duracreet rail looking up into the evening sky as this was the only terrace where the stars could be seen unhampered. The other balcony's all faced toward the bright city lights and traffic lanes, the beauty of the heavens obscurred. I didn't bother him that night, sensing his need to be alone, to think, to rationalize, to seek some kind of understanding of why his mentor would so easily dismiss him in favor of another. Whether he knew I was there or not, I don't know. I'd like to think that my presence, even for that small amount of time comforted him somehow. Perhaps just to let him know that he wasn't alone.

    I've learned that Anakin is titled the Jedi's Chosen One, the one who will bring balance to the force. Adi didn't go into detail about the legend passed down from long ago, but she was certain the fable should not be loosed before his arrival. She was concerned with his ability to find his place among his peers, having been a slave all of his life and having been raised by his mother. If this information circulated before he even stepped foot off the transport, she worried that it would make it near impossible. People in general, and unfortunately some Jedi, are uncertain of what they do not understand.

    I stood alongside the elders, who had assumed temporary authority in the Council's absence, and waited for the passengers to disembark. Garen and Bant also waited beside me. We knew that Obi-Wan wouldn't want a fuss made no matter the circumstances and we intended to respect his wishes. The Council walked from the ship and met with the elders. It was several minutes after they left the docking bay that Obi-Wan and a child walked down the ramp, their hoods raised. Kenobi paused half way down the slope; he must have seen us. When the boy stopped and looked back at his guardian, the taller figure gestured toward the landing bay floor and the two c
  2. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Wow! Hauntingly beautiful. :_|

    I've never seen him cry before. His emotions are his and his alone, locked deep within where no one can see. He rarely shares his burdens, instead listening to our plights and helping us to overcome that which would otherwise hinder us down the road. My feelings urge me to comfort him, to make everything all right, to make the nightmare he feels he's living in go away. But we both know that's not reality. Taking a chance, I walk out to stand beside him. I keep my thoughts to myself, offering an ear to listen and a presence to cling to if wanted. He's surprised at first, not having noticed my presence. He turns from me to wipe away the tears, but I stop him before he can eliminate the evidence of his grief. I wrap his hands within my own and hold them tight. He watches in silence, his throat working against a fresh wave of sorrow that is threatening to devour him. His hands tighten around mine and he lowers his head to hide what he sees as a weakness within himself. But he also knows that he must allow himself this release if he is to move forward. I let go of his left hand while still holding tightly to his right and turn back to gaze out at the city. He follows my lead, pulling me closer to his side. His arm loops over mine and he takes my hand within both of his. Silence ensues, the force wrapping around him as he finally allows himself to fully mourn for the man who was both mentor and father, a man he both loved and admired above all others.

    An incredible piece! =D=
  3. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Such a beautiful piece. So Siri and Obi-Wan. Describing them perfect.@};-
  4. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    It was late afternoon, three days later, when I saw him again. He was standing on the same balcony as his last night in Temple, before the Naboo mission. Thunder echoed throughout the sky, threatening to storm. The sky was covered in its entirety with weighted gray clouds. There would be no star gazing tonight. I stood in the doorway, watching him look toward the sky as if he were trying to see into the space beyond. My eyes widened when he turned to the side, his profile clear for me to see. A tear ran along his cheek, tracing a strong jaw before curving around his chin and trailing down the side of his neck. Another fell, streaming down the same track until it bumped into a variance and strayed off course, forming another wet trail.

    I've never seen him cry before. His emotions are his and his alone, locked deep within where no one can see. He rarely shares his burdens, instead listening to our plights and helping us to overcome that which would otherwise hinder us down the road. My feelings urge me to comfort him, to make everything all right, to make the nightmare he feels he's living in go away. But we both know that's not reality. Taking a chance, I walk out to stand beside him. I keep my thoughts to myself, offering an ear to listen and a presence to cling to if wanted. He's surprised at first, not having noticed my presence. He turns from me to wipe away the tears, but I stop him before he can eliminate the evidence of his grief. I wrap his hands within my own and hold them tight. He watches in silence, his throat working against a fresh wave of sorrow that is threatening to devour him. His hands tighten around mine and he lowers his head to hide what he sees as a weakness within himself. But he also knows that he must allow himself this release if he is to move forward. I let go of his left hand while still holding tightly to his right and turn back to gaze out at the city. He follows my lead, pulling me closer to his side. His arm loops over mine and he takes my hand within both of his. Silence ensues, the force wrapping around him as he finally allows himself to fully mourn for the man who was both mentor and father, a man he both loved and admired above all others.


    Incredibly moving! =D= :_|
  5. obsessedwithSW Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 24, 2005
    star 4
    I've never seen him cry before. His emotions are his and his alone, locked deep within where no one can see. He rarely shares his burdens, instead listening to our plights and helping us to overcome that which would otherwise hinder us down the road. My feelings urge me to comfort him, to make everything all right, to make the nightmare he feels he's living in go away. But we both know that's not reality. Taking a chance, I walk out to stand beside him. I keep my thoughts to myself, offering an ear to listen and a presence to cling to if wanted. He's surprised at first, not having noticed my presence. He turns from me to wipe away the tears, but I stop him before he can eliminate the evidence of his grief. I wrap his hands within my own and hold them tight. He watches in silence, his throat working against a fresh wave of sorrow that is threatening to devour him. His hands tighten around mine and he lowers his head to hide what he sees as a weakness within himself. But he also knows that he must allow himself this release if he is to move forward. I let go of his left hand while still holding tightly to his right and turn back to gaze out at the city. He follows my lead, pulling me closer to his side. His arm loops over mine and he takes my hand within both of his. Silence ensues, the force wrapping around him as he finally allows himself to fully mourn for the man who was both mentor and father, a man he both loved and admired above all others.


    Beautiful very in character!=D=
  6. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    That was wonderful.

    Obi-Wan was so blessed to have such good friends to take care of him and help Anakin to settle in.

    How wonderful that Siri was the one to comfort him when he finally gave in to his grief.

    Great job on t his

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  7. ratna Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
  8. bek Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2005
    star 4
    VaderLVR64 Wow! Hauntingly beautiful. An incredible piece! Thank you! [face_blush]

    earlybird-obi-wan Such a beautiful piece. So Siri and Obi-Wan. Describing them perfect. Thanks! I'm glad their characterizations came across well! :)

    Valairy_Scot Incredibly moving! Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! :)

    obsessedwithSW Beautiful very in character! I was actually wondering if Siri came across somewhat in character. I'm glad they both did. Thank you! :)

    KELIA That was wonderful. Obi-Wan was so blessed to have such good friends to take care of him and help Anakin to settle in. How wonderful that Siri was the one to comfort him when he finally gave in to his grief. Great job on this.

    Thanks! :) And yes, Obi-Wan does have good friends. I figured in the life they live, their friendships would be true. Meaning, they would be there for one another no matter what. And out of all of them, I thought Siri would be the best choice to help him when he finally surrendered to his grief. I see her as a friend who wouldn't pressure him or expect him to talk about it; she would be there for support and whatever else he needed, knowing he would need to set the pace as to what he revealed and when. Okay, now that I've rambled? :p

    ratna nice! Thank you! :)
  9. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    This was wonderful, bek. Lovely and haunting. I really loved that Master Adi was livid. She should have hit Qui-Gon on the head, knocking some sense into him.

    Loved this.

    I've never seen him cry before. His emotions are his and his alone, locked deep within where no one can see. He rarely shares his burdens, instead listening to our plights and helping us to overcome that which would otherwise hinder us down the road. My feelings urge me to comfort him, to make everything all right, to make the nightmare he feels he's living in go away. But we both know that's not reality. Taking a chance, I walk out to stand beside him. I keep my thoughts to myself, offering an ear to listen and a presence to cling to if wanted. He's surprised at first, not having noticed my presence. He turns from me to wipe away the tears, but I stop him before he can eliminate the evidence of his grief. I wrap his hands within my own and hold them tight. He watches in silence, his throat working against a fresh wave of sorrow that is threatening to devour him. His hands tighten around mine and he lowers his head to hide what he sees as a weakness within himself. But he also knows that he must allow himself this release if he is to move forward. I let go of his left hand while still holding tightly to his right and turn back to gaze out at the city. He follows my lead, pulling me closer to his side. His arm loops over mine and he takes my hand within both of his. Silence ensues, the force wrapping around him as he finally allows himself to fully mourn for the man who was both mentor and father, a man he both loved and admired above all others.

    Great job.
  10. Fifilla Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2006
    star 3
    Wow! Incredibly sad and beautiful! =D=
    I really don't know which part I should quote because the whole piece is so amazing!

    But I think I loved that part the most:
    It was late afternoon, three days later, when I saw him again. He was standing on the same balcony as his last night in Temple, before the Naboo mission. Thunder echoed throughout the sky, threatening to storm. The sky was covered in its entirety with weighted gray clouds. There would be no star gazing tonight. I stood in the doorway, watching him look toward the sky as if he were trying to see into the space beyond. My eyes widened when he turned to the side, his profile clear for me to see. A tear ran along his cheek, tracing a strong jaw before curving around his chin and trailing down the side of his neck. Another fell, streaming down the same track until it bumped into a variance and strayed off course, forming another wet trail.
    :_| :_| :_|
  11. bek Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2005
    star 4
    dianethx This was wonderful, bek. Lovely and haunting. I really loved that Master Adi was livid. She should have hit Qui-Gon on the head, knocking some sense into him.

    I wanted to explore a council member?s thoughts about Qui-Gon?s dismissal of his padawan to train another. I thought Adi would be the perfect choice; although she?s a council member, she seems the straightforward type. :)

    Great job.

    Thank you! [face_blush]


    Fifilla Wow! Incredibly sad and beautiful! I really don't know which part I should quote because the whole piece is so amazing!

    Thanks! I?m glad you enjoyed it! :)
  12. ratna Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
    Second reading, liking it still! Sweet little vignette.
  13. thusspakezarathustra Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2006
    star 1
    Very nice indeed and a perceptive insight into Obi's reaction to the loss.

    The sky was covered in its entirety with weighted gray clouds. There would be no star gazing tonight. I stood in the doorway, watching him look toward the sky as if he were trying to see into the space beyond. My eyes widened when he turned to the side, his profile clear for me to see. A tear ran along his cheek, tracing a strong jaw before curving around his chin and trailing down the side of his neck. Another fell, streaming down the same track until it bumped into a variance and strayed off course, forming another wet trail.
    Great description, very emotional. Poor man.

    It makes me realise how hard it was for these guys to grieve. At least Obi has Siri. :)

  14. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    So haunting, always the strong one in the face of adversity, and yet finally sucumbing to his grief thank the force it was Siri that held him.

    Lovely piece, well done.=D=
  15. jedidas3 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2007
    star 3
    I'm not sure how I missed this but I'm glad I found it. This was absolutely heartwrenching! :_| You beautifully described the special relationship that Obi and Siri shared. You easily draw the reader into Siri's shoes as she watches Obi-Wan and her desire to help him. This was truly outstanding! =D= =D=
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