Saga Burn! Burn! Burn! (PreAotC/Horror/ OCs, Poof, Anakin, Obi-Wan) **COMPLETE**

Okay I definitely got shivers reading that last bit.

Your writing style just blows me away, I can see everything playing in my head, making it all the more frightening.

I am intrigued as to what she thinks she must do...

But on a lighter note, that was rather funny how Obi-Wan thought Poof was trying force suggestion on him.

But Poof's ambigious talk about 'manifestations' has me very curious.. is Badour some sort of evil changeling thing?


lol. I'm sorry but I simply must ask, although I know you won't be giving me the answer. The suspense is killing me.



I eagerly await another update.

 

I'm really loving the creepiness of this entire story. It sets such a wonderful mood while keeping the reader consistently guessing as to what's really going on. At this point I can't really remember how you described Badour...in my head I keep picturing her as that freaky black-haired girl from The Ring.

I also like how the Jedi aren't all-wise and all-knowing...they make mistakes, and with some of them (like Poof) you're not even really sure what their true motivations are. Are they just stupid, or are they trying to cover something up?

Thank God you're updating quickly and regularly, because I really want to see where this goes!

 

The Jedi aren't perfect and remember at this point they're flying in the dark. Poof has turned out to be sneakier character than I originally plotted because have a colleague we refer to as "Poof" and he's just a butthead and that's kind of rubbed off. Damn philosophers.

I'm going to get slammed with unpleasantness next week, so I'm doing my damndest to wrap this one up.

 

The first part left me seriously annoyed with Poof's dismissal of the situation. But the second part had me seriously questioning walking past a mirror tonight. Well done!

 

Chapter Twelve:
None will be spared, no remnant saved.


Shell-shocked, the building shuddered under the clap of thunder. Cautiously, he crossed the threshold into the charred remains of the working class home. A bright red lizard on wheels with bold green eyes greeted him, a lucky survivor. Under his feet, the remains of the rug crunched like fine glass. Melted dishes waited patiently on the warped metal table, ashes filled the soup bowls. An overturned chair blocked his way.

As he bent over to set the chair upright, he saw the body. Discarded with less fanfare than the child?s toy near the door and certainly not as lucky, the broken body lay at the bottom of the narrow staircase. Wide empty eyes stared into nothingness. Her lips were purple as if she had been eating fresh bazelberries and her head hung at a strange right angle, nearly severed by the bloody piece of transparisteel stabbed into the floor next to her. The dark scarlet stains around her collar rendered the act of checking her pulse unnecessary. Respectfully, he knelt and closed the vacant eyes.

Reaching into the Force, he felt the chill brush against him and then radiate outwards until the entire room was frigid. It was like wandering into a shadow sump and somehow becoming trapped. She no longer hid from him.

The red lizard crashed into the wall above his head followed by the familiar laugh. He leapt to his feet and hurried through the house to the back entrance, barely pausing to acknowledge the three partially cremated bodies littering the kitchen. Trying to make up precious seconds, he jumped over the edge of the back porch railing and landed in the recessed alleyway meters behind his query.


She was faster than she should have been?

The chase covered nearly two miles as they wove their way through the urban labyrinth, ducking under collapsed durasteel structures and doubling back through the smoldering remains of the municipal fuel dump. She led him through burned out buildings, empty squares and countless alleys; yet failed to maintain her advantage. Anakin always knew where he was going and rarely lost a race. Using the heavy rain as his ally, he managed to force her into a narrow dead end alley near the worst area of the damaged spaceport.

Panting, not from exhaustion, but from anger; Anakin screamed. ?Badour!?

Realizing her strategic error, she turned and cocked an eyebrow. ?You?d best take care of those lungs, Anakin Skywalker, they?re the only pair you?ve got.?

?You killed Master Gooli,? he hissed stopping less than four meters in front of her.

She shrugged nonchalantly, ?Yes, I did.?

?Why??

?She was in my way. I don?t tolerate people getting in my way.? She started to walk towards him.

?Stop where you are, Badour.? His hand hovered over his lightsaber.

?No.? She took another step.

In one fluid motion, he seized and ignited his lightsaber, the familiar snap! pop! echoed his ears. Pointing the blue blade down at her, ?Badour, I said stop where you are.?

She paused and then laughed. ?What are you going to do, Anakin Skywalker? Strike down an unarmed nine year old? A bit ahead of your time, don?t you think??

The blade did not waver. ?What are you??

?An observer, a messenger and occasionally something very terrible,? her haughty stare taunted him.

?That?s no answer.? He struggled against the urge to bring the lightsaber down on her patronizing eyes.

She took a step towards the blade. ?What are you??

?I am a Jedi.?

?You think so??

He held his ground. ?I know so.?

?You don?t really believe it,? she scoffed. ?You know deep down inside that it isn?t true. It will never be true. You know they won?t let you into their little club. They don?t trust you any more than they trust me.?

?That?s ridiculous, Badour. You are a monster.? He punctuated each syllable of the last four words by jabbing the blue blade in her direction.

Her condescending laugh threatened to drive him over the edge. ?If I am the monster, why do you stand there fighting the desire to strik

 

Oh crap. She just had to say that.

Fantastic update oqidaun.

That was very intense, Anakin fighting the urge to strike her down, Badour knowing exactly where she's got him..

You are a master at this.
I can't wait to see what happens next.
Anakin doesnt seem very stable..
and Badour has gotten away once again. eek.

 

Danke!
Glad you liked it.
That was a difficult scene to write.

 

You did an excellent job with this chapter (no surprise there!). Badour's characterization has taken on a whole new facet -- every chapter changes the way I feel about her. I like her, but I don't know if I trust her.

The thrills continue!

 

lindemacil--I personally wouldn't trust Badour any farther than I could throw her. Thanks always for your comments.

I've been very sick all day, blame it on the concert last night or the one in the parking lot this afternoon...
Here's some new art:
[image=http://circusfiretragedy.com/FanArt/badour.jpg]

(click)

Not good art, but "art" nonetheless.

 

Yeah, that's what I figured. Hopefully, Anakin does too. Not that I'd mind if he didn't; it makes for a more interesting read.

And the art certainly captures the mood . . . I know what I'm going to have nightmares about tonight.

 

Not good art, but "art" nonetheless. - Bah. Seems pretty good to me. Very Linda-Blair-in-a-corn-field-on-fire-esque.

I sympathize with your plight. I am actually wearing an eye-patch right now because I can't focus my eyes. No irony there, I'm 100% serious.

Due to my feeling-like-crappinessnessnessnessness I don't have any substantive comment for which I'm sorry. But I am still liking this. I never figured Badour as a ghost, but it's kind of hard to determine corporeality through prose.

 

Love the art, Oqi. You should be doing CD covers for SPF1000.

Actually, that confrontation was great. I loved how Badour promised to give Anakin an answer and then just handed him the sort of vaguely ominous pronouncements that you usually get from psychics. Of course, I also get the feeling that she knows exactly what's going to happen but wouldn't give him the satisfaction of delivering precise details.

You've also given me a creepy plot bunny that actually doesn't really have much to do with your story...it just got me in the frame of mind where I started considering the darker side of the GFFA. (Probably watching Exorcist: The Beginning had something to do with it as well....)

Thanks for another wonderful update -- keep 'em coming!

 

SPF1000 HA! Dead, dead, dead...kill, kill, kill! <--Now, I know we understand one another and I shall hug you.
Thanks for the compliment on the art, both you and scroob. I'll have to scan in my water colors of my dead babies and the green hallway shadow I have above my little desk under the string of dancing skeletons.

The Exorcist! Hell yeah (pun intended). I've not seen Beginnings, but I love the original--right up there w/Children of the Corn and Ringu.

Yeah, Badour is just like any other Psychic--a master of obscurity and obviousness.

 

Chapter Thirteen:
Are you ashamed, are you afraid, of the gods and idols you have made?

The cold rain turned to sleet and a vicious east wind whipped through the buildings stirring up ash and fanning the fires that continued to escape containment closest to the spaceport terminal. After leaving Master Poof with the journal, Obi-Wan hurried to find Anakin. He felt him distinctly in the Force, yet detected another current alongside of his Padawan?s?something cloaked and potentially malevolent. Guided by the Force, he made his way through the post-apocalyptic setting and found Anakin in an alley mutely looking up into the freezing rain. Betrayed by his soaked robes, red cheeks and the blue color of his lips, Obi-Wan knew he had been there for some time. A hint of another darker presence lingered, suggesting that he had not been alone.

?Are you all right?? Obi-Wan inquired as he approached his pupil.

?I?m fine Master,? casually he wiped his face with his sleeve.

?By the Force, you?re soaking wet. You?ll catch your death from this cold.? Obi-Wan touched his arm and was surprised when he flinched.

?She escaped, Master. I tried to catch up with her and she was just too fast.? Eyes cast downwards; he focused on his muddy boots as he lied. ?I tried, but I failed.?

Obi-Wan tightened his grip on his Padawan?s arm and waited for him to meet his eyes. ?Are you sure you?re all right??

Reluctantly, Anakin looked up. ?Master Gooli is dead.?

?What??

?Badour killed Master Gooli.? He spoke plainly.

?Anakin, she?s a nine-year old girl.? Obi-Wan reasoned.

Anakin was too cold and conflicted to argue. ?You can see for yourself, Master.?

He retraced the course followed by the earlier chase back to the dwelling where he found Master Gooli. More cognizant of his surroundings, he blanched at the sight of the remains of the former occupants in the kitchen. Apparently, they had been unable to escape the flash fire that consumed much of their home. Furthermore, they were not alone.

Obi-Wan felt it as well and moved past his Padawan into the front room. He found Master Poof kneeling beside the Jedi?s lifeless body. Master Gooli was indeed quite dead. Anakin, however, found the appearance and serenity of the other Jedi Master more perplexing; he then noticed that the body had been turned face down.

?A most unfortunate accident,? Master Poof shook his head. ?Apparently, she fell down the stairs.?

Obi-Wan put his hand to his beard and cast a sideways glance to his Padawan. ?An accident??

?Yes,? the Quermian master insisted. ?An accident. As you see there?s a broken step.? He pointed to the top of the stairs where several steps had been burned through. ?Master Gooli lost her footing and fell?a sad testament to the hazards of old age and haste.? Patting the comlink pouch on his belt, he continued. ?I have informed the Council of our loss.?

?Her wisdom will be missed.? Obi-Wan tried not to look at the blood stains around her collar. A fall down a short flight of stairs did not produce such injuries. He failed to see how two deaths, in less than four days, could provoke so little concern.

Poof bobbed his diminutive head and looked at Anakin directly. ?Tell me, Skywalker, where did you last see the girl??

?Near the port,? Boldly, Anakin scrutinized the body. The incriminating piece of transparisteel was conspicuously absent. Despite his misgivings, he buried his feelings and held his tongue, Badour?s words echoing in his ears. He narrowed his eyes and met Poof?s hollow stare. Obi-Wan regarded him closely. ?She eluded me.?

?Very well,? Poof turned from the body. ?I shall continue the search from there. You are dismissed to continue your mission to Corellia.?

?Master Poof,? Obi-Wan objected. ?Anakin and I will stay behind and help you continue this investigation. Our duties on Corellia are purely diplomatic and can be assumed by another Jedi quite easily.?

?Your offer is unnecessary, Master Kenobi. This was merely an accident?no doubt, unfortunate, but I can handle th

 

What I really want is their Haunted House remix of that song. I have searched all over the internet and can't seem to find a viable copy. It's so annoying. (Yeah, I know I could actually buy it, but that's just too easy.)

Yes, you should start out each of your posts with some new creepy art!

Exorcist: The Beginning isn't nearly as frightening as the original (what is??!), but it's worth watching, if only to see Stellan Skarsgaard as the younger Father Merrin. He's amazing. (I'd have loved to have seen him play an Imperial officer, but that's just me.)

OK, enough OT-ness.

Just what the **** is Poof up to? Either he's even more misguided than most Jedi, or he's really up to something terrible.

I think you've captured Obi-Wan and Anakin really well. I can almost hear the actors' voices as I'm reading your posts, which for me is a sign that the characters are staying in character. Good work!

I wonder what that little critter is going to be up to the next time we see her. I wonder whether she can move about as she pleases or whether she's forced to abide by the limitations of the body she's inhabiting (if that's really what's going on). I pity whatever kind-hearted fool takes her in next!

More!!!

 

?A most unfortunate accident,? Master Poof shook his head. ?Apparently, she fell down the stairs.?

Accident my pinkie-toe! Cover-up! Conspiracy! Et cetera! By the way, Master Poof? I mean, Poof? That name has been cracking me up every time I see it.

?Yes, Master Poof,? Anakin bowed and Obi-Wan could do little aside from follow his lead.

Anakin obeying when Obi-Wan doesn't want to. That's a novel situation.

For the past five years, Obi-Wan had struggled to get his Padawan to address his anxieties through meditation instead of giving in to his obsessive compulsion to take things apart.

Obsessive compulsion? Nice.

?I am not in a place to disagree and I accept that.?

Where should he be to disagree? Maybe he should consider travelling there. Seriously, though, that's a ridiculous "point-of-view."

?I?m not asking you to blindly follow, Anakin, you have to learn to trust the wisdom of the Council.?

Translation: "I'm not asking you to blindly follow, Anakin, you have to follow without opening your eyes."

Good stuff. I "pity whatever kind-hearted fool takes her in next" too!

 

fantastic update oqidaun.

Poof though, is really getting on my nerves.

What is he hiding and why does he have to hide it? Sheesh, those Council Members can be so irritating, Im totally with Anakin on this one.

The last bit was very creepy..Im beginning to think now that Badour is some sort of ancient spirit or something.

"I pity whatever kind-hearted fool takes her in next"

ha! me too.

 

Very nice- and thte new artwork !!!

 

I just had to catch up and the last few chapters - this is shaping up very nicely. Poof's behavior grows more mysterious...

 

OMG This story is so intense!! I cant wait to read more!!

 

O.K. oqidaun! I've just finished Chapter 10, its 4am, and now I know I won't sleep tonight.

No, I'm not scared! I just want to see where this goes...

 

Chapter Fourteen:
A brave new world, a promised land?

In less than two days, Abregado-Rae officials and Republic Disaster Relief Services managed to transform the industrial port into a reasonably efficient substitute for the obliterated spaceport on the other side of the capital city. It was much smaller, which caused it to be overcrowded and chaotic, yet it was functional. Additionally, it lacked many of the amenities of the former port, including lounge areas, a Gizmok?s stim-caf and a decent media stand. The interior was gray and utilitarian, but as long as the busy flight schedules remained intact few complained.

The haughty little girl stood on her tip-toes applying lip gloss and fussing over her appearance in the grimy mirror of the female fresher. Aware that she had drawn an appreciative audience, she stopped and wrinkled her nose. Casting her most intimidating look into the mirror, she turned her attention to her long blonde hair. The smaller girl to her left smiled and continued to watch her intently.

Unable to tolerate the bizarre attention any longer, she stopped and spun around. Cruelly looking up and down the plain child, she wrinkled her nose again and smirked, ?Why are you standing there??

Nonplused by the snobbish inquiry, she took a step forward. ?I hate question games,? she began matter-of-factly. ?But I?ll answer yours if you?ll answer mine first.? Her polished Core World accent surprised the blonde.

?You?re weird.? She rolled her eyes, yet the other remained undeterred and did not move. ?Fine, what do you want to know??

?Where are you going??

?I am going to Coruscant to see the museums and visit the Senate. My uncle lives there and is very powerful.? With flourish, she closed her expensive handbag and smoothed her hair.

?That sounds charming.? The smaller girl beamed.

?Yeah,? Automatically, her nose wrinkled to accompany her sarcasm. ?So, why are you standing there??

The child took another step closer and wrapped her tiny cold hand around the other girl?s arm, ?Because, I?m going to take your place.?

---

Frantically, the Inner Rim Youth Travel representative struggled with the datapad. Earlier he had dropped it on the duracrete while shuffling his travelers through the security checkpoint and it had been giving him fits ever since. He had yet to lose a traveler, but came frightfully close the day of the port disaster. Unfortunately, his assistant had been at the ticket counter trying to get a private first class upgrade for the spoiled Seinar girl who refused to travel with the rest of the group. The upgrade registered, but his assistant failed to make it out of the terminal alive; which left him solely responsible for getting twenty ill-behaved children to Coruscant.

Nervously, he counted the nineteen little girls in matching school uniforms. His assistant had been good with names, but he relied exclusively on numbers?besides the little girls all looked alike. Grinding his teeth, he started to count again when he felt a tug on his sleeve.

?Number twenty! Where have you been??

?I?m sorry. I was in the fresher,? she pointed across the busy terminal.

?That?s fine. You?re here and the transport?s leaving any minute.? He slapped the shorted datapad against his hand. The screen went blank. ?Gods, which one were you?? He bit his lip and narrowed his eyes. ?Allizen Seinar, right? How could I forget?? For a moment longer, he regarded the plain looking child and could have sworn she had been blonde earlier that morning. ?You are Allizen??

?Ok,? she agreed.

His head throbbed. ?Whatever, here?s your special ticket.? The stewards waved them through in the interest of keeping to schedule. As it stood, with the smaller port and limited control tower crews, to miss a departure time could set a transport behind several hours, if not a whole day. Subsequently, the transport companies refused to wait on wayward passengers.

The representative stuffed the boarding chip in her hands and seized the back of her oversized jacket as he usher

 

The child took another step closer and wrapped her tiny cold hand around the other girl?s arm, ?Because, I?m going to take your place.?

She is one evil little genius! You must be so proud of her!

Interesting that she prefers to be called Badour still. I'll be watching for an update.

 

Hmm...that's really interesting. I would have thought she would have taken on Allizen's outward looks as well. But maybe I've been wrong in my estimation of Badour's abilities. Lucky for her that the man handling the tour group doesn't pay much attention to faces (or hair color!).

Since Allizen was a spoiled brat I don't feel too sorry for her...but I really want to know what kind of poodoo is going to hit the fan on Coruscant.

 

Bravo oqidaun the flow of this story is terrific, the right mixture of GFFA and horror/suspense. The posts are just the right length, like a Tales From the Crypt type serial, keeping us craving for more. You've definately got a cult following with this one. Initially I, like others were reminded of the girl in The Ring, or Children of the Corn, but now I'm thinking of some film with Denzel Washington, that I can't recall the name of.