Buy No More Heroes you bums.

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"Hello I am a game for you to purchase with cash money

No More Heroes is the latest game from crazy person Suda 51,

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"I take copious amounts of drugs."

Famous for the legendary mind**** that was Killer7. Which about 5 of you played and maybe 2 of you liked and none of you understood. No one understands it.

So in this game you play Travis Touchdown. Who is like Luke Skywalker if Luke looked like Johnny Noxville, loved anime about little girls with powers, and ordered his lightsaber off of the internet in order to kill the 10 best hitmen in the world to become the best hitman in the world.

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"If I become number one, will you do it with me?"

I can hear you now, "But Sonny, what is this game and why should I spend my money on it? I can use my money to feed my children and more important things like hookers and blow?"

Well to answer that first I need to introduce my special guest Hulk Hogan.

Hello Mr. Hogan, how are you doing?

BROTHER LET ME TELL YOU THAT THIS GAME IS RUNNING WILD ALL OVER YOU

Thats...nice. what does that mean?

THAT MEANS THAT ALL MY LITTLE HULKAMANIACS ARE GOING TO GO OUT IN FORCE AND GRAB THIS GAME WITH THEIR 24 INCH PYTHONS

So can you tell us about this game?

THIS GAME IS FREE ROAMING. YOU CAN TO WACCHA WAN'T WHENNA WANT IT. YOU HAVE TO EARN MONEY BY DOING ODD JOBS LIKE CUTTING THE LAWN, KILLING RANDOM PEOPLE, EATING YOUR VITAMINS AND SAYING YOUR PRAYERS. YOU CAN TRAVEL AROUND IN STYLE, DUDE, WITH YOUR MOTORCYCLE AS YOU GO AROUND SANTA DESTROY. YOU USE YOUR WIIMOTE TO CONTROL BLOOD BERRY, YOU HULKAMANIACS CALL IT A LIGHTSABER, TO PULL OF AWESOME COMBOS, WITH THE CONTROLLER MOVEMENT BEING A VITAL PART OF PULLING OFF THE COOL MOVES

That all sounds pretty cool Mr Hogan. But what if we aren't convinced yet?

WHAT? WHAT? I COULDN'T HERE YOU OVER THESE LINKS RUNNING WILD ALL OVER YOU

Opening scene

Offical site

Bloody Massacre

But don't you charge the sword by making a movement like...well it's a movement I'm sure most men know a little about. Is it appropriate for the childrens?

HELL NO, BROTHER. YOU BETTER BE A BIG HULKAMANIAC IF YOU'RE GOING TO GET THIS GAME. THIS GAME MAKES THE nWo CONQUEST SEEM LIKE A PEACEFUL REVOLUTION

But is this game actually good?

JUST LOOK AT WHAT THE PEOPLE SAY

Reviews.

Thank you Mr. Hogan. You've been a terrific guest.

THIS IS WHERE THE POWER LIES

Uhh... yeah. Thank you.

ANYTHING LESS WOULD BE TOO CIVILIZED.

Dammit. He's off again. You've been great, people. Mr Hogan, join me in the last statement?

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BUY NO MORE HEROES, BROTHER!

 

I heartily endorse this event or product. And yes, I plan on getting this game.

 

This game and Brawl, I love being a Wii owner.

 

I WAS TALKING ABOUT THIS GAME BEFORE IT WAS POPULAR TO TALK ABOUT THIS GAME

 

And that makes you uncool. But I think you mean you angst about the game before anyone else did? I need more Rich in my life.

The game sounds stunning, I will have to steal me a Wii someday soon. Then steal some money to pay for the Wii.

 

I have been thinking of this game.

 

I'd rather not get roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris. I'm buying this game.

 

Alright

Which one of you bastards took my copy? All the stores are sold out.

 

i didn't know it was out yet, but thanks for reminding me.
and i also knew about this game way before any of you learned internet.

ta da!

 

I ordered my copy from Amazon. Although it hasn't shipped yet.

 

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I don't really care for Hulk Hogan

 

Just got this game. Will be playing it tonight.

 

yes, i have it, played it, and enjoyed it.
part of what makes me like it is the jankiness factor.
i mean, really guys, it's a little janky.
but that isn't a bad thing, especially considering the game and its inherent nature.
i found some overwhelming similarities between this and contact fo the DS.
i know they both have similar development companies which i can only suppose makes the reasoning for said similarities. i've only played for a grand total of about a combined hour so far and i enjoy it quite a bit. i was initially hoping for the overworld map to be a bit more substantial but i suppose with creative work at its best, large maps aren't needed. i had to worry for awhile today when i was collecting coconuts because it sounded like the wii was about to have a heart attack. but after that it was smoothe sailing like john candy in summer rental.

 

One of my favorite games in a while. If you're a sadistic geek.... just... get it.

 

Rented this one last weekend.

After seeing a couple of pieces on this game on G4 this past summer, I was skeptical, but then converted after finally playing it.

This game is insane. It's nice to see a thrilling action game with such a unique, messed-up sensibility, especially on the Wii. However, I could only play for a couple hours, since my arm started hurting from slicing people in half with the Wiimote after a while.

The combat system is surprisingly in-depth, and the boss battles can get extremely ****ing hard.

 

Bought it yesterday, beat up to rank 9.

Very fun game. Only issue I have is the short draw distance in the city (tree's magically appear) but other than that it's a great game.

 

This game is awesome! Go get it

 

STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE

 

Holy crap this game looks amazing...