Before - Legends By My Own 07/18/03 "To be continue under new name"

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by PatttyB0123, Apr 9, 2003.

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  1. PatttyB0123 RSA Latin America

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    Apr 2, 2003
    star 6
    Characters Obi Wan,Qui-Gon

    Title: By My Own
    Author: PattyB0123
    Rating: JA,(Obi/Qui) Obi is about 15, angst,romance and some humor.
    Summary:eek:bi Wan is trapped, and he does not why, and he does not where he is being held. Qui-Qon will be able to save him?, Or Obi-wan will be brave enough to leave from that nightmare?


    Chapter One
    .............

    Sweating and cold, Obi-Wan no longer remembered how long he being trapped in that dark cell. Like an animal with those heavy chains around his hands and feet,Obi- Wan no longer remembered like was the color of the sky, and the fresh breeze of the wind.

    His kidnappers tortured him everyday, and in the end of the beatings they left a bowl with water and a hard bread.

    When Obi-Wan was left alone in the dark cell, Obi would hold his only meal, and devoured in question of seconds.

    "How long I will be here?"

    Obi-Wan desperations thought treating about not becoming crazy.

    "but"

    "If"

    "Turn crazy will be my only hope to escape from this cell".

    "Yes, crazy Obi-Wan"

    Chapter Two
    ..................

    "Master can I go today to the festival?"

    Obi-wan with its beautiful blue eyes was looking for a final approval from his Master.

    "Please Master I love it"

    Watching his student Master Jinn thought that Obi-Wan no longer was little child. Obi-Wan was the example of good Jedi.
    The boy was very good in the diplomatic missions, and a good warrior in some combats.

    "Okay says,Jinn you can go".

    There is not danger in a simple festival, besides of eating too many candies" thought Jinn.

    His student gave to him a stronger hug and left right away.
    Obi-Wan left thinking about the delicious candies that he cold select.
    .........................................

    Obi-Wan?s heart froze when he heard his kidnapers approaching to his cell one more time. They only came to his cell to beat him up, and leave some food.

    Well,if he can called food to the dirty water and that old hard bread.

    "What they are going to do with me this time? They never come twice a day". Obi started feeling a cold sweating chill running through his all ready abused body.

    One man wearing some kind of weird blue clothing kneeled next to Obi-Wan, and tied Obi?s chained hands to the chains that were tied around of Obi?s feet.

    "I want him broken",said the man looking Obi-Wan with a murderous face.

    This time Obi-Wan felt more miserable than ever because of his new postured, so he cried the whole night until sleepiness took him over.

    The next day they came back with the same beating routine, but this time Obi could not eat,because the pain, and the new set of chains prevented him from reaching his food.

    With his hands in pain by the chains that restricted him from any further movement,Obi-Wan was trying touch his sore face from the previous beating.

    He tried a couple times,but he could not clean his dirty face full of dry tears,making the chains that were tied to his hands and feet heavier than ever.

    Obi-Wan shivered with fear. The padawan started crying about his past life in the temple. Obi could hear the sweet sound of the breeze that started playing going in and out through the only tiny window existed in that filthy dark cell.

    At least that breeze refreshed its cell of the bad scents of his captivated.
    His kidnappers never let him going out to even do his most fundamental necessities.

    "Tomorrow I would put my plan in action, and my kidnappers would let me go when they see my acting insane".

    ...........
    thanks

    tbc
  2. Kit' Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Oct 30, 1999
    star 5
    This is really good!

    More soon! Just maybe put a little bit more of a post in.

    Kithera
  3. SilverWander Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2001
    star 4
    PatttyB0123 I think this is a pretty good start for a story. :cool: I'm courius to see how your going to make Obi-Wan go crazy! ?[face_plain] [face_mischief]

    And I'm not trying to be really critical or anything but I saw 1 or 2 lines that could use small editing..
  4. PatttyB0123 RSA Latin America

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2003
    star 6
    Thanks I just saw couple mistakes, and I changed some things.
  5. PatttyB0123 RSA Latin America

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2003
    star 6
    Chapter Three
    .............

    The luminous sun sparkles touched with gentleness the delicate and fragile body of Obi-Wan. The flares of the sun gave to Obi- Wan a breath of hope in his already tormented heart.

    The door was suddenly opened with violence and a man wearing a black suit came inside holding a whip in his left hand.
    A cold sweat rushed through the boy's body and his mind become cloudy.

    "Oh no! he is holding a whip Nooo, please Nooo".

    They always struck him with a piece of hard wide wood, but never with a whip.

    The man approached his victim. Then the man watched with malice and satisfaction as the young boy was trying to escape from the chains, but the chains held the boy like sharp blades into the boy?s wrists making the kid drop some couple tears.

    "Ex Jedi! today I bring a new gift to you!" said the man to Obi-wan. Smoothly the man touched with the whip the already bruised boy's face.
    Obi Wan's heart alarmed, when he saw the sizes of the whip.

    "Now Obi, Now save your life" thought Obi- Wan trying to calm his mind.

    With his full energy Obi-Wan filled his lungs with air and started screaming very loud like soul in pain. Terrified the man backed against the wall and the same time was trying to protected his ears with his hands from the phantasmal shouts of his victim.

    tbc next Wenesday (I am taking finals)
  6. SilverWander Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2001
    star 4
    //More please//

    *Plugs ears at the sound of Obi-Wan screaming*
  7. PatttyB0123 RSA Latin America

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2003
    star 6
    Chapter Five
    ................

    Obi-Wan went to the festival with Siri and Garen, but he wanted to be left alone by them, so he could go to the house of the horrors.

    Hey, say Obi-Wan to his friends "Siri and Garen, I am going to the house of the horrors. Do you want go with me?"

    Siri gave to Obi Wan a grim look and say, "It is possible that you thought that idea with your big head to go to that house?"

    "Well, Siri", said Obi Wan "I am ready a man, and I am not longer scare to those games".

    "When you became a man Obi Wan?" , say Garen in a amuse tone.

    Obi-Wan watched them with coldness. Then Siri in a gentle move took Obi?s hands and said to him. "Forgiveness us Obi-Wan we just were playing with you".

    "PLAYING?" said Obi Wan. "You just hurt MY feelings. I do not want to hear any more excuses bye". said Obi Wan.

    "Well, Siri, we just caused a great disturbance in the force with Obi Wan".

    Obi-Wan moving away from his friends was getting closer to the famous house that he always wanted to visit for a long time.

    "My friends? If I can call them friends, just they made fun of me"

    .........................
    One of the kidnappers very scared enter to the room and what he saw froze his blood. The man, who was in charge of torture the kid that day was seating on the floor almost unconscious, while the victim was struggling against the chains like a wild animal. Obi-Wan stopped his new act to look this man with fear.

    Obi?s wrists were bleeding from the struggling, and there were several tears going down his cheeks.

    "What we have here?" said the man

    The man approached his victim very slowly like a hunter that know that got his prey under control. Obi knew that this man was the most merciless man among of his kidnappers.

    "Stop kid those acts of madness, that already I know you very well. I believe that you need a good lesson of discipline".

    Shaking with fear Obi-Wan looked his kidnapper with his blue eyes filled of tears looking for some kind of exoneration, but the damage was already done.
    Obi knew that next minutes of his life would turn into a living hell.
    The kidnapper grabbed the boy?s head and blindfolded the kid in a rude way with a piece of rough fabric.

    Next Friday.
    Thanks




  8. PatttyB0123 RSA Latin America

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2003
    star 6
    Hi, I will be posting Friday night or Saturday night.
    Sorry for your Icon.
    :(
  9. PatttyB0123 RSA Latin America

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2003
    star 6
    Chapter Six
    ......................

    Waiting outside at from of the apparently scaring house Obi-Wan felt the nauseate odor of the living dead.

    "I wanted to be invisible, but I had to see this house".

    A man with a malevolent face approached toward Obi-Wan, and said, "Five credits little sweetie"

    The nervous padawan handle to the man the five credits, and got inside of the house.
    When Obi-Wan steeped inside he felt a cold, sour glue washed-up his throat then he realized that he had eating his bubble gum. Inside of the house Obi could not see even his nose.

    Exploring the area Obi-Wan saw one yellow cracking old sign posted on a broken wall that read "Please follow the next sign, otherwise you are dead". The force screamed to Obi-Wan to run from that place, but the anxious padawan muted the force. Obi-Wan saw another sign that reads "Please too see me make a left turn and nock on my door". He turned to the left entrance then he saw candles all over the place resting on gold shiny tables

    There was the famous door painted with red ink. The padawan was going to nock when the same mystical, resonant voice said "Please come in".

    Obi opened the stormy noisy door and came in. He saw an undefined body sitting on a read dark chair in the middle of empty room.
    Obi-Wan barely could speak and he heard an agonizing voice coming from the body saying, "Jedi your package is waiting for you in our office".

    Obi-Wan said "what package?"

    The man extended his large close bones hands with a pair of keys to the frightening padawan. Then he emitted a sepulchral sound saying, "Go ahead get the keys and leave".

    Obi-Wan could not handle anymore, so he grabbed the keys and he ran taking the shortest cut, but he was abruptly stopped by an icy cold deadly hand that freeze up the young padawan.

    [face_shocked]
    Next Sunday night
    peace

  10. SilverWander Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2001
    star 4
    Wow this is intersting!!!
    But Im still spoting small erros here and there....

    Keep up the good work on the story I can't wait to read more!
  11. PatttyB0123 RSA Latin America

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    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2003
    star 6
    Chapter Seven
    ....................

    "Sorry, kid I did not want to scare you" says smiling the man to Obi Wan.

    "Well. Sir I was not scare, I just little cautious".

    "Yes, the Jedi way",said the man moving away from Obi-Wan. "Do you want some tea, my young friend?"

    "Yes, Sir I love to have some tea".

    The man left for a couple minutes, and came back with two cups of tea.

    "Thanks", said Obi-Wan, who took the cup of tea with his two hands that still shaking from the previous show.

    "Are you okay Jedi?"

    "Yes, Sir",said Obi-Wan taking a good sip from the delicious tea.

    Suddenly, Obi-Wan felt a disturbance in the Force. "Here? But why the Force was warning him about a possible danger" Perhaps he was just confused from the previous scared act. "Yes Obi-Wan, you just a little scared". Though Obi-Wan.

    Obi-Wan tried to center his feelings, but he felt cold chill water running through his body.

    "More tea?"

    Obi-Wan starting feel drowsy, and tried to fight back with his eyes blinking several times and realized that he was drugged.

    "Do not worry little Jedi, I did not poison you" I just slow you down in order to take you without fight.

    Obi-Wan tongue felt solid and the last thing he thought was "MASTER" and everything went black.

    Qui-Gon sitting in his room was reading some data information felt suddenly a painful warning from the Force. The Force with his apprentice was shut down immediately leaving the Master in agony than he realized that his apprentice was in a deadly danger.
    ...................................

    Obi-Wan tried to get away from the malicious man, but Obi-Wan felt the chains on his wrists and ankles reminding him that he was a prisoner.

    "How can I hope to escape if I can not move"

    "After your last act of rebellion I decided to tied up you outside to a post, and leave you there for a couple days".

    The boy started shivering with fear while the man was unchaining him in a crude way making the teenager whispering some couple moans of pain.

    Free from the chains Obi-Wan tried to touch his injured body,so he could evaluate the damage of his captivate, but the man grabbed tightly down Obi-Wan?s hands.

    Obi-Wan struggled against the man as he grabbed him outside. Blindfolded and feeling helpless Obi-Wan was forced to sit against of a wooden post by his captor in the middle of open field.

    "Put your arms behind the post". Now he stressed the last word quietly, when Obi-Wan did not comply fast enough for him. Obi-Wan felt his hands being tightly tied behind the post, and bit his broken lips to repress a moan of pain.

    Suddenly, Obi-Wan felt an alarmed when he felt that brutal whip coming with fury against his injured body.
    Obi-Wan was beat up by the man, until the lash of the whip made Obi-Wan pass out.

    After several hours Obi-Wan regained conscious shivering as the cold rain sprinkle down on him. The rain stopped and Obi-Wan heard the chirping sounds of several creatures that he never heard before. Obi-Wan barely could move his muscles from the previous beating and he felt his hands almost numb because the ropes were so tight around his wrists.
    Some more tear run down from Obi-Wan cheeks while he was thinking about his next possible execution by that sadistic man.

    All of a sudden Obi-Wan felt a warm breeze touching his skin. Obi could hear the breeze playing with the trees?leaves in an on going hide and seek. Suddenly the air turns cold and wet, and he heard some whispering sounds from the force trying to calm him. The sun expanded its arms touching the fragile boy?s body giving to him a friendly hug like an old friend.

    Several more salty tears came down from Obi-Wan?s dirty bruised face giving to the boy more pain, because his face was cover with fresh wounds.

    "Tomorrow, Obi-Wan, tomorrow I will pretend that I am dead. I will play my last card. The old Jedi trick of slow down the metabolism"


    Thanks I will looking for the mistakes next week.
    thanks for reading [face_happ
  12. PatttyB0123 RSA Latin America

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    Apr 2, 2003
    star 6
    Happy Easter! to everybody :D
  13. PatttyB0123 RSA Latin America

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    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2003
    star 6
    Sorry I am working in the Shadow Path.
    I will post next Friday
  14. SilverWander Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2001
    star 4
    Pretend to be dead ?[face_plain] hmmm this could be intersitng...

    Can't wait to read more...

    What is Assembly??
  15. PatttyB0123 RSA Latin America

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    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2003
    star 6
    Assembly is a language machine (programming).
    I was going to work tonight in the story, but I am super tired from finals.
    Still Friday I will be posting.
    thanks ;)
  16. SilverWander Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2001
    star 4
    Intersting...

    Ok its Firday Postie please !:D
  17. PatttyB0123 RSA Latin America

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    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2003
    star 6
    OOps, sorry I am working right now on the next chapter.
    I got little behind, because I was working with the "The Shadow Path"
    I will be posting by 2 P.M.
    Once more I [face_blush].



  18. PatttyB0123 RSA Latin America

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    Apr 2, 2003
    star 6
    Chapter Eight
    .....................

    Waking up slowly Obi-Wan found himself trapped inside of putrid bag. Obi-Wan tried to cover his nose from the decomposing odors. Obi-Wan made an effort to move his hands finding that were bound behind his back. Then he slowly,and carefully tried to push himself out from the bag, but he felt a sharp kick on his back that made him to cry out with pain.

    "Do not move kid", heard Obi-Wan.

    "Why?" asked the padawan to the voice.

    "Because you are my prisoner", said the voice.

    "Why I am your prisoner"? asked once more Obi-Wan using a sarcastic tone of voice,
    Obi-Wan did not need to wait too long, when he felt two pair of hands reaching him out from bag.

    Then Obi-Wan saw his kidnapper, who was carrying a bowl with some kind of liquid.

    "Yes", said Obi-Wan you are the one, who drugged me with the tea.

    Still holding the bowl with two hands, the men kneeled down next to Obi-Wan.

    "Drink", said the man pushing the bowl towards the boy?s lips.

    Obi-Wan gave to the man a defiance glance and said "I do not want it", and pressed hard his lips together.

    "Do not try my patience kid", the man?s voice escalated treacherously.
    "Let me remind you", said the man, and stood up; leaving alone the confused padawan that could not understand exactly what the man wanted from him.

    The padawan yelped involuntary, when he saw the man coming back with a knife.

    "Well, young man", said the man "Should I slash off your valuable braid?"

    "Noooo, please Nooo" said Obi-Wan observing with fear the man waving the knife in the air.
    Sadly Obi-Wan looked the man, and said, "I will Sir".

    The man gave to the boy a triumph smiled and placed the bowl by Obi-Wan?s lips.
    With anger Obi-Wan threw back his head and drank it down the whole liquid knowing that the man was drugging him again.

    Tbc.



  19. PatttyB0123 RSA Latin America

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    Apr 2, 2003
    star 6
    Hi, I got the second part, but I have two teenagers behind my back dying for used the computer.
    I will trying to post the second part tonight to get to the part, where Obi-Wan is ready to play his last card.
    :_|
  20. PatttyB0123 RSA Latin America

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    Apr 2, 2003
    star 6
    The Kidnapping II
    ........................

    Suddenly a man entered to the room screaming something that made the man?s face turn almost white.

    "My Lord" "My Lord there is outside two Jedi Knights"

    The Lord stood up and with a calmly voice said, "And what they want?"

    The other man looking nervous said, "We are dead My Lord" "They want to talk to you."

    The Lord took several deep breaths, and looked the boy, who was now smiling to him.
    The Lord left the room for couple minutes leaving the man nervously watching the young boy, who was now shaking his head trying to fight back the effects of the drug.

    Waiting outside of the famous house of the horrors, Jinn was now trying to be calm rubbing his hands against his robe.

    "Well? Master Jinn will you stop that game please", said Mace, who was now exasperated by Jinn playing hands.

    Jinn knew that Obi-wan was there, and he was now loosing valuable minutes by waiting outside of the house.
    Mace felt a warning wave from Jinn?s force.
    Mace shield up to Jinn and thought "Be carefully with Master Jim" "When Jinn get into his crisis of rage, oh boy"

    While inside of the house Obi-Wan still resisting, the effects of the drug by shaking his head with desperation, then he started feeling that he had almost no control over his muscles.
    Busy with his thoughts, Obi-Wan did not hear the Lord, who was now entering to the room holding with his left hand a scarf and with right hand an electric metal pole.

    "Gag him" commanded the Lord to the man, who still terrified about having two Jedi Knights waiting outside of the house.
    Trembling with fear the servant could not move.

    "Well, Why I have to do everything"? said the Lord with an explosive tone of voice.

    "Master" "Help ME"

    Obi-Wan gasped; when he felt the soft cloth being fastening over his mouth preventing him from kept screaming for help.

    "Noo plea? se No'o, Mnn ?ster I am here, Mas?ss er"

    In the end Obi-Wan screams for help were suffocated by the gag, and the drug finally induced him into the darkness.





  21. SilverWander Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2001
    star 4
    Ack not another CLIFF!!! More please!!!!!!
    Hold on Obi-Wan!
  22. PatttyB0123 RSA Latin America

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    star 6
    "Take the boy to the ship", we are living in couple minutes.

    "Are you going to speak with them"? said the servant almost whispering with fear.

    "Well, speak with them.?" answered the Lord. Then the Lord took out a metal object from his packet.

    Jinn was beyond of his limits, and decided to enter to the house.

    "Nooo, Master Jinn", said Mace trying to reach Jinn, who had vanished in questions of seconds inside the house.
    All the sudden Mace felt a violently burst, and he feared the worth.
    With anxiety Mace entered inside of the house, to find the Master laying on the floor apparently dead.

    Present
    --------------------


    With her sating white dress being illuminated by the moon light, Maura was waving her hands to the wind. Then she took a deep breath, and started running down the hill to the older farm house.

    She heard horrible stories about that farm house, but she did not care, because she was not herself any more.
    She was diagnostic crazy, ten year ago, when she found that her brother was kill by some kidnappers.
    Her family felt apart after the incident, and she moved to a rural area with her father.

    She kept running until she reached to the older farm house. Then her heart froze, when she saw him.

    A blindfolded boy was tied up to a post. The boy was shivering and moaning with pain.

    Quietly Maura walked towards him, so she could examine must better the boy.

    Salty tears starting running down her cheeks, when she found the boy?s health condition.

    His clothing was cover with dried spots of blood, his hair was covered with dust and in general the kid?s uncovered body?s part showed scars and fresh wounds.

    tbc
    :_| Somebody else wants to used my computer.
    I hope that I can post more tonight.
    ;)




  23. PatttyB0123 RSA Latin America

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    Apr 2, 2003
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    Next post Monday night. I will be working on Shadow Path tomorrow night.
    Thanks
  24. SilverWander Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2001
    star 4
    Qui Gon dead? ?[face_plain] Noooooooooooooooooooooooo-
    000000000000000000000000000000!:_| :_| :_|


    Poor Obi-Wan!
  25. PatttyB0123 RSA Latin America

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    Apr 2, 2003
    star 6
    "I have to do something" "I have to save him" "because he is my brother, yes he is"

    Trying to reach the Force, Obi-wan slowly starting focuses, but his weakness condition made him to whisper couple moans of pain and frustration.

    "Well, Obi-Wan may the force with you", thought him before trying to call the Force one more last time.
    Obi-Wan knew that the hibernation trance according with physical and mentally conditions were almost suicidal, but he wanted to escape from them.

    Slowly the breeze surrounded the boy?s body given gentility kisses on his injured body.

    "Mark I will heal you" "hold for me Mark" Then she place her both hands on the top of the boy?s head. The wind grows stronger, bringing ghostly sounds from every corner, crashing with violence over both kid?s bodies.

    Obi-Wan could not hear, could not sense. He was under trance trying to reach that Force that was now elusive, and untouchable.
    Then Obi-Wan felt the Force. The Force that was gone for so long.

    "Yes", "I can feel", said Obi-Wan giggling by himself.

    Breathing slowly through his nose a few times, Obi-Wan started to slowly down his breathing, until he stopped inhalation process. Then he made his body settle down completely until he felt his heartbeat almost going one beat for a minute. Now he felt his body going limp, and he dropped his head down dead. Still alert under hibernation trance, Obi-Wan put his conscious mind inwards as far as he dare. Then he felt everything far away, and pain went away.

    The servant heard a cried, and decided to check out, but the Lord stopped him saying "Is that boy" "The one I wan to destroy."
    The Lord gets up from his bed, and looking to his servant, said, "Well, if I destroy the apprentice, I will be destroying the future Master." Then the Lord and the servant starting laughing about the boy?s horrible destiny.
    The Lord stopped laughing and added to his sinister thoughts, "This boy will be never be make to be a Jedi Knight" "This boy is my first experiment"

    Satisfy with sinister thought, the Lord went back to the bed, and closed his eyes thinking about how he was going to torture the boy the next day.
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