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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Beyond - Legends By The Moment ~ (angst) (death) (any two people you want)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by jaya_tharen, Feb 19, 2005.

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  1. jaya_tharen

    jaya_tharen Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Sep 13, 2004
    Okay, I am reposting this here 'cause I'm not getting any readers on the viggie thread it was on.

    Hope you like it.

    It's a nice break 'cause it's not a songfic type viggie.

    TITLE: By The Moment (angst)(death)(any two people you want)

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    At 1:02 pm, she is walking down the corridor to his apartment
    At 1:02 pm, he is climbing into his fighter in docking bay 107

    At 1:03 pm, a brawl starts in the mess hall
    At 1:03 pm, she is reaching to knock on his door
    At 1:03 pm, he is requesting clearance to lift off

    At 1:04 pm, the fight in the mess hall gets worse as more people join in, creating a mob
    At 1:04 pm, she frowns at the door and knocks again
    At 1:04 pm, he is arguing with the deck officer about his clearance code

    At 1:05 pm, the fights spills out into the corridors
    At 1:05 pm, she uses the Force to unlock his door
    At 1:05 pm, he receives permission to take off

    At 1:06 pm, two of the men separate from the mob and head down the halls
    At 1:06 pm, she enters his room and begins to look around
    At 1:06 pm, he is clearing the planet?s atmosphere

    At 1:07 pm, the two men arrive in the corridor outside his room
    At 1:07 pm, she finds what she is looking for and turns toward the door
    At 1:07 pm, he puts his fighter through a few test maneuvers

    At 1:08 pm, one of the fighters pulls a blaster
    At 1:08 pm, she steps into the doorway of the apartment
    At 1:08 pm, he turns his craft toward the nearby moon

    At 1:09 pm, the blaster is fired
    At 1:09 pm, she takes a step outside the door and into the corridor
    At1:09 pm, he requests permission to dock on the moon base

    At 1:09 & 40 seconds pm, the blaster bolt ricochets off the wall and strikes her through the heart
    At 1:09 & 40 seconds pm, he is waiting for a reply to his request

    At 1:10 pm, a medic is called
    At 1:10 pm, he receives permission to land

    At 1:11 pm, the man with the blaster flees the scene
    At 1:11 pm, he puts his ship down without a scratch

    At 1:12 pm, the other man sits with her as she slowly dies
    At 1:12 pm, he emerges from his ship and jumps to the ground

    At 1:13 pm, she takes her last breath just as the medic arrives
    At 1:13 pm, he embraces his Uncle
    At 1:13 pm, hundreds of Jedi around the galaxy cry out as they feel her agonizing death

    At 1:14 pm, the medic declares her dead
    At 1:14 pm, he walks out of the landing bay, joking with his Uncle

    At 1:15 pm, her parents are notified of her death
    At 1:15 pm, his comlink begins to beep, demanding his attention

    At 1:16 pm, her mother collapses into her father?s arms and cries
    At 1:16 pm, he answers the persistent comlink

    At 1:16 & 30 seconds pm, he drops the comlink and stares blankly ahead in shock

    At 1:17 pm, he collapses against the wall, tears streaming silently down his face
    At 1:17 pm, news of her death spreads throughout the base

    At 1:18 pm, her body fades gently away and she disappears, becoming one with the Force and all the life around her


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    You like?

    Please R&R.
     
  2. DathomiranAuthor

    DathomiranAuthor Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Jan 18, 2005
    Wow . . . that's so sad.

    I like! Interesting style you have going; very original. Good job! MTFBWY.

    -Dathomiran
     
  3. GoddessJainaSoloFel

    GoddessJainaSoloFel Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 18, 2004
    I like this as much now as I did in the other thread! :) Still as tragic and sad though! *wipes away a lone tear*

    ~Goddess Jaina~
     
  4. NenYim

    NenYim Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 6, 2004
    Wow, that was sad... but very original. The time-by-time sequence showed what heppened in a lot of detail.

    Just a question, did you have anybody in mind when you wrote this? It reminded me vaguely of several people at once...:p

    Anyway, I liked this a lot! :)
     
  5. Smuggler_Shidakis

    Smuggler_Shidakis Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2004
    That's... so... sad!

    *bawls eyes out*

    I loved the way it was written, very unconventional.
     
  6. jaya_tharen

    jaya_tharen Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Sep 13, 2004
    DathomiranAuthor: I like! Interesting style you have going; very original.

    Thanks! Glad you liked it.

    MTFBWY.

    What's that mean? :confused:

    GoddessJainaSoloFel: I like this as much now as I did in the other thread! Still as tragic and sad though!

    Aww....thanks.

    NenYim: Just a question, did you have anybody in mind when you wrote this? It reminded me vaguely of several people at once...

    Yeah, actually. When I first wrote this, I was thinking of it being Jaina and Jag. Then I decided it could work for a lot of other people too. Who did you think it was?

    Anyway, I liked this a lot!

    Good. I always like to hear that!

    Smuggler_Shidakis: That's... so... sad!

    *bawls eyes out*


    Wow, uh...

    *hands tissue*

    Better?

    I loved the way it was written, very unconventional.

    Thanks!

    ~~~~

    Wow, I'm so glad I posted this here! Thanks to everyone for reading this and telling me what you think. I really appreciate it!

    *Hands out chocolate chip cookies*

    ~Jaya~
     
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